Cookie's Couch...

[Tequila Sunrise]

Any blondes out there?

This blonde walks up to a very expensive looking home and asks the gentleman who answers the door if he had any odd jobs she could do to raise some money.

He thinks for a moment then hands her a can of paint and a brush and asks if she would paint his porch.

She agrees, and he goes back inside.

15 minutes later, she returns and asks to be paid.

He is stunned that it was done so quickly, but his questions are answered when she says, "By the way, that isn't a porch. It's a Ferrari."

TS

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Just stopping by to say hi to Doc Cookie. I'll be back later to make my weekly appointment if you can fit me in with all the nuts running around.

Hey, I didn't know Stud thought he was a teapot, poor man is worse off than I thought he was...

Thanks for all the jokes, you guys really have me rolling around here on a daily basis!

 

[STUDDOG]

Dr. Cookie, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining patients to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. STUDDOG," the doctor says to one of her patients, "I see by your chart that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you're released?"

STUD thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That's still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it's like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I've grown interested in lately."

Dr. Cookie nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities."

STUD replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being a teapot."

Hardy har har!!!!!.....and there's nothing wrong with being a teapot Doc....look at the size of this spout!!!!!!!!!!!!
and sure it's not the best job but I get hot stuff poured in me and sugar mixed with it.....and people like holding my handle ...(I really like that part)...however...this damn flower pattern on my exterior is hurting my reputation....

STUDPOT

 

[cookiejar]

Re: Any blondes out there?

This blonde walks up to a very expensive looking home and asks the gentleman who answers the door if he had any odd jobs she could do to raise some money.

He thinks for a moment then hands her a can of paint and a brush and asks if she would paint his porch.

She agrees, and he goes back inside.

15 minutes later, she returns and asks to be paid.

He is stunned that it was done so quickly, but his questions are answered when she says, "By the way, that isn't a porch. It's a Ferrari."

TS

*taking TS to the rubber room...finding a sleepsack with restraints...you will pay for that blonde joke...

 

[cookiejar]

Just stopping by to say hi to Doc Cookie. I'll be back later to make my weekly appointment if you can fit me in with all the nuts running around.

Hey, I didn't know Stud thought he was a teapot, poor man is worse off than I thought he was...

Thanks for all the jokes, you guys really have me rolling around here on a daily basis!

Your couch is ready Elizabeth...pay no attention to STUD...he's steeping over there...

 

[cookiejar]

Hardy har har!!!!!.....and there's nothing wrong with being a teapot Doc....look at the size of this spout!!!!!!!!!!!!
and sure it's not the best job but I get hot stuff poured in me and sugar mixed with it.....and people like holding my handle ...(I really like that part)...however...this damn flower pattern on my exterior is hurting my reputation....

STUDPOT

Christ you are driving me nuts...stop singing..."I'm a Little Teapot"

Be a good pot and pour me a cuppa...

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Your couch is ready Elizabeth...pay no attention to STUD...he's steeping over there...

Thanks Doc...its such a comfy couch too.

Hey Stud,sweetie, when you finish steeping over there, mind if I fix a pitcher of Iced Tea?

 

[cookiejar]

I GET LETTERS...


I received this letter in PM...poor tortured soul


Dear Dr. Cookie,
I'm way too shy to post this letter but I need your help desperately. You see I ...well I have a scar on my weiner. My ex was drunk and I guess she thought...weiner? Hot dog? Anyway she took a bite and now I have this scar. My problem? I have a new girlfriend and uhhh I kinda told her I was a virgin. How do I explain the scar doc? You gotta help me...we are getting close, if you know what I mean.


Thank you...
Oscar Mayer


Well Oscar...this is a toughie. Now if this girl thinks you are a virgin she can't be too brainy. So this idea might work...these are tattoos...fakes but guaranteed not to wash off for at least a week. They are 15 inches long...standard penis size for lit but they can be cut to a smaller length. Just remember to reapply after fellatio...by the way the ink won't transfer to her lips and they are non-toxic. I'm partial to the barbed wire myself...


http://www.drbukk.com/saleitems/tatarmb.jpg

 

[STUDDOG]

Christ you are driving me nuts...stop singing..."I'm a Little Teapot"

Be a good pot and pour me a cuppa...

Yes mam!!!!!.....but I thought it was kinda a catchy tune....pouring some cuppa

 

[Lordknightspoetry]

cookie now i am dreaming of eating peaches and i cant stop
but when i wake up am really horny
am i gonna be ok?

 

[cookiejar]

cookie now i am dreaming of eating peaches and i cant stop
but when i wake up am really horny
am i gonna be ok?

LKP..between your banana and her peaches I'm hungry... oh the sexual imagery is pretty nice too. You are gonna be fine...


Some peaches for your dreams...I will just hang them here so you and Mr. Hand can have fun...

http://www.johnpence.com/visuals/painters/morgan/images/peaches.jpg

 

[biggbear8]

I GET LETTERS...


I received this letter in PM...poor tortured soul


Dear Dr. Cookie,
I'm way too shy to post this letter but I need your help desperately. You see I ...well I have a scar on my weiner. My ex was drunk and I guess she thought...weiner? Hot dog? Anyway she took a bite and now I have this scar. My problem? I have a new girlfriend and uhhh I kinda told her I was a virgin. How do I explain the scar doc? You gotta help me...we are getting close, if you know what I mean.


Thank you...
Oscar Mayer


Well Oscar...this is a toughie. Now if this girl thinks you are a virgin she can't be too brainy. So this idea might work...these are tattoos...fakes but guaranteed not to wash off for at least a week. They are 15 inches long...standard penis size for lit but they can be cut to a smaller length. Just remember to reapply after fellatio...by the way the ink won't transfer to her lips and they are non-toxic. I'm partial to the barbed wire myself...


http://www.drbukk.com/saleitems/tatarmb.jpg

roflmao lol hehehehehe

Cookie ur wit is so incredible and funny

thx for the laughs dr cookie

 

[Lordknightspoetry]

LKP..between your banana and her peaches I'm hungry... oh the sexual imagery is pretty nice too. You are gonna be fine...


Some peaches for your dreams...I will just hang them here so you and Mr. Hand can have fun...

http://www.johnpence.com/visuals/painters/morgan/images/peaches.jpg

thank you cookie i think i love dreaming about eating her peaches

 

[biggbear8]

dr cookie is this true I might be going through this huh maybe

There's nothing the matter with me,
I'm just as healthy as can be,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, my blood is thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

All my teeth have had to come out,
And my diet I hate to think about.
I'm overweight and I can't get thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

And arch supports I need for my feet.
Or I wouldn't be able to go out in the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I'm all right.
My memory's failing, my head's in a spin.
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

Old age is golden I've heard it said,
But sometimes I wonder, as I go to bed.
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup,
And my glasses on a shelf, until I get up.
And when sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself,
Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?

The reason I know my Youth has been spent,
Is my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went!
But really I don't mind, when I think with a grin,
Of all the places my get-up has been.

I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
Pick up the paper and read the obits.
If my name is missing, I'm therefore not dead,
So I eat a good breakfast and jump back into bed.

The moral of this as the tale unfolds,
Is that for you and me, who are growing old.
It is better to say "I'm fine" with a grin,
Than to let people know the shape we are in.

 

[omahaman2]

The timid man had been advised by his psychiatrist to go home
and assert himself. He told the man, "Don't let your wife bully
you anymore. Go home and show her who's the boss."
So, the timid soul went home, banged the door shut, and said in
a loud voice, "Now get this! From now on, I'm the boss in this
joint, and I'm giving the orders and you're obeying them. Now
get busy and get my supper on the table right away and after
that, lay out my clothes because I'm going out tonight-alone-in
my tuxedo. And, do you know who's going to dress me in my tuxedo
and black tie?"

"Yes, dear," replied the wife softly, "the undertaker."

 

[omahaman2]

cookie,
Did you hear what happened at that other psychiatrist's office.
I have a permanent erection. i went to another psychiatrist since you were extremely busy dealing with all that fruit. I was embaressed to explain the problem i had once i found out the doc was a lady but finally i did.I asked her what she can give me for it.
She told me $25,000,000,000 AND HALF THE PRACTICE.

 

[cookiejar]

cookie,
Did you hear what happened at that other psychiatrist's office.
I have a permanent erection. i went to another psychiatrist since you were extremely busy dealing with all that fruit. I was embaressed to explain the problem i had once i found out the doc was a lady but finally i did.I asked her what she can give me for it.
She told me $25,000,000,000 AND HALF THE PRACTICE.

So you and Jenny are set for life huh??

 

[cookiejar]

I interrupt this thread to say Happy Birthday to two great guys. July 23rd is a good day...

Happy Birthday to my Dad...Lots of love from your "treasure"

Happy Birthday to a Lit guy who wishes to stay anon...Have a great day...!!


http://d21c.com/AnnesPlace/Spec3/BD7a.gif

 

[rosylady]

*tosses out all banana paraphernalia* Leaving nice white padded walls. *G*

 

[biggbear8]

I interrupt this thread to say Happy Birthday to two great guys. July 23rd is a good day...

Happy Birthday to my Dad...Lots of love from your "treasure"

Happy Birthday to a Lit guy who wishes to stay anon...Have a great day...!!


http://d21c.com/AnnesPlace/Spec3/BD7a.gif

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO COOKIES FATHER BEST WISHES TO YOU AND YOU DO HAVE A TREASURE IN COOKIE

AND HAPPY TO THE ANON LIT GUY, HOPE YOU HAVE MENY MORE BIRTHDAYS AND A GREAT DAY

 

[CharlotteNCguy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Dear Doc . . .

TS, Bear and NC walk out of Cookie's hospital hoping to escape.

TS says, "If there's a high fence, we'll dig under it!"

Bear says, "If there's a low fence, we'll jump over it!"

NC says, "Well, we're out of luck, boys--There is no fence," so instead they just went back to their rooms.


Oh there you go Doc. you had to go there. At least I have leadership qualities. They all followed me back to our rooms!

 

[Lordknightspoetry]

*tosses out all banana paraphernalia* Leaving nice white padded walls. *G*

sits down a tray with a pitcher of iced tea and two glasses

 

[cookiejar]

Another day...another dollar...


Damn I just slipped on Rosy's banana skins...how many did she "eat" last night?

 

[rosylady]

Another day...another dollar...


Damn I just slipped on Rosy's banana skins...how many did she "eat" last night?

I wasn't eating Banana's, Oman, Stud, Lkp are trying to frame me.

 

[Native Alien]

A likely story Doc.