Cookie's Couch...

cookiejar said:
Well let's put it this way...you stay in Lit very long you will need my services:)

Please feel free to meet and mingle with my other wackos...errr I mean patients:eek:

LMAO! I'm sure I will! So do I have your card.... *checking my purse frantically*
 
cookiejar said:
Well let's put it this way...you stay in Lit very long you will need my services:)

Please feel free to meet and mingle with my other wackos...errr I mean patients:eek:

I have a serious problem Doc?? My stripper Sis thinks she can diagnose peoples problems??:p
 
Lordknightspoetry said:
well what is a stripper? care to show me i mean tell me?



Hon you need immediate treatment...I wish I knew how to strip I would give you a show but alas...:(
 
Diagnostic Overview:

Your responses indicate you've gone off your medication, and are probably breaking parole right now. Stay away from schoolyards and daycare centers; that's the first place they'll look for you. You also wear a lot of black clothing because the voices tell you to, right? People who answer as you did often like to masturbate excessively, sometimes in public.

Long-Term Prognosis:

Despite your condition and its behavioral limitations, remember you can always find work as a drug-dealer or prositute if you really try. Chances are you're a Libra, like most hopeless souls. (That doesn't really mean anything, but we just figured we'd mention it.) Strangely enough, you don't hate your mother and father, but you do hate your grandmother and grandfather. Who knows what in the world that means.


ASK FOR RE-DIAGNOSE HERE..........MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT........


Diagnostic Overview:

Your responses indicate that you are almost certain to die in a whorehouse, but not as a customer. Your self-destructive impulses can be put to good use and channeled creatively, but that'll never happen. You also watch too much Oprah. People who answer as you did always cheat at card games or other pursuits.

Long-Term Prognosis:

Because of your impairments, your life is destined to be one long train-wreck. A lobotomy might possibly give you a better outlook and more insight into your own behavior. It would also keep you off the damn streets, which everyone agrees would be a good thing. PS- You don't hate your mother and father; you only think you do. Isn't that weird?


I FEEL SICK.....AND BLACK WAS MY FAVORITE COLOR...THE VOICES ALWAYS COMPLIMENTED ME ON MY TASTE......:(


Dr.Cookie.....I need an appointment soon.......;)
 
STUDDOG said:
Diagnostic Overview:

Your responses indicate you've gone off your medication, and are probably breaking parole right now. Stay away from schoolyards and daycare centers; that's the first place they'll look for you. You also wear a lot of black clothing because the voices tell you to, right? People who answer as you did often like to masturbate excessively, sometimes in public.

Long-Term Prognosis:

Despite your condition and its behavioral limitations, remember you can always find work as a drug-dealer or prositute if you really try. Chances are you're a Libra, like most hopeless souls. (That doesn't really mean anything, but we just figured we'd mention it.) Strangely enough, you don't hate your mother and father, but you do hate your grandmother and grandfather. Who knows what in the world that means.


ASK FOR RE-DIAGNOSE HERE..........MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT........


Diagnostic Overview:

Your responses indicate that you are almost certain to die in a whorehouse, but not as a customer. Your self-destructive impulses can be put to good use and channeled creatively, but that'll never happen. You also watch too much Oprah. People who answer as you did always cheat at card games or other pursuits.

Long-Term Prognosis:

Because of your impairments, your life is destined to be one long train-wreck. A lobotomy might possibly give you a better outlook and more insight into your own behavior. It would also keep you off the damn streets, which everyone agrees would be a good thing. PS- You don't hate your mother and father; you only think you do. Isn't that weird?


I FEEL SICK.....AND BLACK WAS MY FAVORITE COLOR...THE VOICES ALWAYS COMPLIMENTED ME ON MY TASTE......:(


Dr.Cookie.....I need an appointment soon.......;)



Three couches...no waiting...

Are those voices the same ones who told you that you were a dog? Please take a couch...hmmmm maybe I shoud use hypnotism on this case...

BRB...*reading "Hypnotism for Dummies*
 
Hey I'm normal

Diagnostic Overview:

Your apparent normality conceals a hotbed of twisted desires and passions, straining to break free so you can rape and pillage at will (just like everyone else). You have an apparent mistrust of your family and friends, as well as authority figures and co-workers. Hmmmm, maybe you're not so normal after all. People who answer as you did are often thieves or liars or snitches.

Long-Term Prognosis:

You will need intensive therapy to succeed in living a normal life, however this also means you may make an excellent politician. Your answers clearly indicate you need a better wardrobe; this is often because of micro-manifestations of the id, conflicting with your unconcious mind (the one you use at work).
 
cookiejar said:
Three couches...no waiting...

Are those voices the same ones who told you that you were a dog? Please take a couch...hmmmm maybe I shoud use hypnotism on this case...

BRB...*reading "Hypnotism for Dummies*



Geeeeeeee thanks Doc......your smart missy!!!....how did you know those voices told me that.....scratch scratch!!!!!

Are you sure I can get on the furniture?....most people won't let me:rolleyes:

I'm ready to go under Doc..... :confused:


:D
 
Re: Hey I'm normal

rosylady said:
Diagnostic Overview:

Your apparent normality conceals a hotbed of twisted desires and passions, straining to break free so you can rape and pillage at will (just like everyone else). You have an apparent mistrust of your family and friends, as well as authority figures and co-workers. Hmmmm, maybe you're not so normal after all. People who answer as you did are often thieves or liars or snitches.

Long-Term Prognosis:

You will need intensive therapy to succeed in living a normal life, however this also means you may make an excellent politician. Your answers clearly indicate you need a better wardrobe; this is often because of micro-manifestations of the id, conflicting with your unconcious mind (the one you use at work).



Poor deluded child...*leading Rosy back to bed*

Take your bunch of bananas and play for awhile...I will be back later after I eat my banana:devil:
 
Dr. Cookiejar, there is no way that I am getting anywhere near any inkblots. I learned my lesson the last time.
 
Okay...I need to check on my patients...

sheesh...rosy and stud...omg:eek:
 
Last edited:
Ok Doc, where did you say that sanitarium was? After reading this I think I'll need a permanent stay...

Diagnostic Overview:

Your responses indicate you like dogs, which is fine, except that your interest extends to the romantic. Join a dating service and don't try to work for the ASPCA. In addition, your inferiority complex is not a complex, it's real. You're inferior. Start getting used to it. People who answer as you did always try and cheat parking meters.

Long-Term Prognosis:

There is no long-term hope for you. Life will never get any better for you. You're screwed. It looks like Hard Times ahead for you (notice the capital letters). Your unhappiness will have no lower limit; despair and mental anguish will be your constant companions. You might as well grab a gun and go on a shootin' spree. Oh, wait, that was someone else. Never mind.
 
Okay, so here is what I got.

Diagnostic Overview:

Your responses indicate that you like to practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control. This will change when you start drinking again (any day now), and we'll all be relieved because right now you're kind of a pain in the ass. Like mom used to tell you, "loosen up, don't be such a weenie". People who answer as you did tend to spank their kids. A lot.

Long-Term Prognosis:

You will need intensive therapy to succeed in living a normal life, however this also means you may make an excellent politician. Your answers clearly indicate you need a better wardrobe; this is often because of micro-manifestations of the id, conflicting with your unconcious mind (the one you use at work).

So what do you think Doc? Should I be getting ready to run for office?
 
*peeks in to see what this is all about......see's all the wacko's and makes a break for the door and freedom....*:D
 
knightshadow said:
*peeks in to see what this is all about......see's all the wacko's and makes a break for the door and freedom....*:D


You can run and you can hide, but the men with the straight jacket will find you if Doc Cookie thinks ya need it. LOL

Hey take me with ya, some place with a tropical beach might be better than the sanitarium for my recovery, don't you think?
 
Native Alien said:
Okay, so here is what I got.

Diagnostic Overview:

Your responses indicate that you like to practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control. This will change when you start drinking again (any day now), and we'll all be relieved because right now you're kind of a pain in the ass. Like mom used to tell you, "loosen up, don't be such a weenie". People who answer as you did tend to spank their kids. A lot.

Long-Term Prognosis:

You will need intensive therapy to succeed in living a normal life, however this also means you may make an excellent politician. Your answers clearly indicate you need a better wardrobe; this is often because of micro-manifestations of the id, conflicting with your unconcious mind (the one you use at work).

So what do you think Doc? Should I be getting ready to run for office?



I have a new "position" for you NA...Bill Clinton needs a new intern...Here you go, now take your cigar , "slick Willy" needs you...:devil:


http://www.twincitycigar.com/images/cigar.gif
 
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