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Talking to people you don't know can be very nerve wrecking for many people. And trying to find someone to talk to on a site like this can be even worse. You can look at what people have posted, follow their threads, try to get an idea of what they might enjoy talking about, but you really don't know. You take a risk when you send a message and then get that feeling in your stomach with worry. Did you write the right things? Will they read it? Will they respond? It is a cycle that make one not want to take the risk, but you should. There are a lot of good people here, a lot of people just looking for some friendly chat. So take that risk, beat the feeling of worry and go for it.

Keep smiling :)
 
A conversation is a pretty simple thing, yet starting one can be terrifying for so many people. We worry about what others will think, how will we be judged. We worry about grammar and spelling. We worry about being misunderstood as writing does not show emotion or laughter. It can be very scary to start a conversation for so many people. But, just relax, sit back and type out a message. Let your fears slip away and do what you can to start one. It's just words after all.

Keep smiling :)
 
Thanks for the constant encouragement rlaflamme :)

rlaflamme said:
A conversation is a pretty simple thing, yet
starting one can be terrifying for so many people. We worry about what others will think, how will we be judged. We worry about grammar and spelling. We worry about being misunderstood as writing does not show emotion or laughter. It can be very scary to start a conversation for so many people. But, just relax, sit back and type out a message. Let your fears slip away and do what you can to start one. It's just words after all.

Keep smiling :)
Click to expand...
 
It is easy to give up on yourself when you are looking for people to talk to. No replies and one word replies get you down, make you think there is no-one willing to talk. But that isn't true, it just isn't the right person or the right time. Keep going, keeping pushing yourself to find the right connection. It is there, you will find it. Don't quit on yourself.

Keep smiling :)
 
rlaflamme said:
It is easy to give up on yourself when you are looking for people to talk to. No replies and one word replies get you down, make you think there is no-one willing to talk. But that isn't true, it just isn't the right person or the right time. Keep going, keeping pushing yourself to find the right connection. It is there, you will find it. Don't quit on yourself.

Keep smiling :)
Click to expand...

It's not so much giving up on myself; rather, it's giving up on the ones who claim they want to talk, but their version of talk is "I'm horny and need someone to jerk off to." I'll send PMs to guys I haven't talked to before to find out more about them, especially if I like something they posted. And while most won't come out and say it, from the tone of their replies, I read between the lines that they want the conversation to go sexual. And when I won't take the bait or let them know outright I'm not looking for that, that's when they lose interest. And that happens. A lot. From guys with posts in the single digits to others with many more posts than I have.

Yeah, I know Lit's a sex site, and lots of guys log onto here with their boner in hand. And while I have nothing against sexual conversations, and have engaged in them myself (when the guy and the time is right), I don't need someone's e-boner stuck in my face by someone I barely know.

I just had to say it. Rant over.

Oh, and I am smiling ('cuz I know you're gonna ask).

https://64.media.tumblr.com/cd4a6261df6db648506b4010baab113c/9e84aaed5b5c5c2f-1b/s540x810/d8462f47f4a143db8026f8a8bf792fd4fdee6f4d.gifv
 
LadyJS said:
It's not so much giving up on myself; rather, it's giving up on the ones who claim they want to talk, but their version of talk is "I'm horny and need someone to jerk off to." I'll send PMs to guys I haven't talked to before to find out more about them, especially if I like something they posted. And while most won't come out and say it, from the tone of their replies, I read between the lines that they want the conversation to go sexual. And when I won't take the bait or let them know outright I'm not looking for that, that's when they lose interest. And that happens. A lot. From guys with posts in the single digits to others with many more posts than I have.

Yeah, I know Lit's a sex site, and lots of guys log onto here with their boner in hand. And while I have nothing against sexual conversations, and have engaged in them myself (when the guy and the time is right), I don't need someone's e-boner stuck in my face by someone I barely know.

I just had to say it. Rant over.

Oh, and I am smiling ('cuz I know you're gonna ask).

https://64.media.tumblr.com/cd4a6261df6db648506b4010baab113c/9e84aaed5b5c5c2f-1b/s540x810/d8462f47f4a143db8026f8a8bf792fd4fdee6f4d.gifv
Click to expand...

That is a common problem as well. People think because it is a "sex site" conversations have to be about sex. I am sure that is why many people will not talk, they have had it happen far to many times.

I hope that people start to converse without sex being the first thing they think of. Try to get to know someone, enjoy their company for what it is, company. Share thoughts, feelings, life troubles and move on from there. Just have regular conversations.

I hope that happens for you and thank you for spelling it out like you did. I should help people understand.

Keep smiling :)
 
rlaflamme said:
That is a common problem as well. People think because it is a "sex site" conversations have to be about sex. I am sure that is why many people will not talk, they have had it happen far to many times.

I hope that people start to converse without sex being the first thing they think of. Try to get to know someone, enjoy their company for what it is, company. Share thoughts, feelings, life troubles and move on from there. Just have regular conversations.

I hope that happens for you and thank you for spelling it out like you did. I should help people understand.

Keep smiling :)
Click to expand...


I really struggle with *whispers* "sex talk". I can't even say p-e-n-i-s without getting all flustered. All I have is conversation about sleeping. It's a real snooze-fest.

:eek:

(Heya Martian :kiss:)
 
Tallulah82 said:
I really struggle with *whispers* "sex talk". I can't even say p-e-n-i-s without getting all flustered. All I have is conversation about sleeping. It's a real snooze-fest.

:eek:

(Heya Martian :kiss:)
Click to expand...

Hey! Look who it is!! How have you been?!
Now, don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with sex talk, not a bad thing at all, but it should not be the first thing someone types out to another person. Of course, some conversations are started by a post someone sees and it is sexual, so obviously the chat will be about that act, but it doesn't have to be, "Let's do that!"

Keep smiling :)
 
Sometimes we get the joy of a good conversation then we hear nothing for a long time. We have to understand that life comes first and that it may be nothing that we said or did that ended the conversation. People have to move on and do things, it happens. Is it better when we are told they will be gone and the conversation will end, but that is not always an option for them. Things happen in life that make people have to move on and we have to deal with that in our own way. Don't beat yourself up if something like that happens to you, just be happy for what you had and continue to meet new people.

Keep smiling :)
 
Take some time for yourself now and then. We look to other people to get us through the day quite often, but sometimes we just need a quiet day to ourselves. Find something you enjoy doing, yard work, working on a car, playing video games, binge watching a show, something that is just for you. Take a day and have fun with it.

Keep smiling :)
 
Sometimes you just need to talk to someone, to have someone that will listen to you. You are not looking for advice or validation r anything, just need to get words out. You just need an ear. And sometimes someone comes to you looking for that exact same thing. Remember that you can be an ear without giving advice and there are people who can do the same for you.

Keep smiling :)
 
Finding a "normal" conversation on a site like this is not easy. There is an expectation from many people, the thoughts are focused on sexual activity and many time there is no question that is what someone is looking for when you receive a message. But it doesn't have to be that way. There are plenty of people here that will just talk about life, the simple things. After talking to several woman on here I have come to believe that they rarely think a man messages "just to talk" and most of the time they are correct. There is an agenda and that agenda is to be naughty. But it doesn't have to be.

Some things I have heard is people send offensive and personal messages right off and al I can do is shake my head and say, "why?" If you would not walk up to the person and say what you are about to type, then don't do it. Treat people like they are real, it will help.

Keep smiling :)
 
Sometimes, probably more often than we think, people just want to talk, just want to have a decent conversation and they come to a site like this to find one. Sadly, from what I have heard, that is not so easy. Think about this as you send or receive messages. Are you looking to talk? Are you looking to be a bit naughty? Is the one sending you the message truly looking to just have a conversation? Are they looking to be a bit "more"?

I know, when receiving a message such things can be difficult to figure out. I mean, what does ,"hi, how are you?" mean? lol. But take some time, see what you want, what you think and move forward with that.

Keep smiling :)
 
rlaflamme said:
Sometimes, probably more often than we think, people just want to talk, just want to have a decent conversation and they come to a site like this to find one. Sadly, from what I have heard, that is not so easy. Think about this as you send or receive messages. Are you looking to talk? Are you looking to be a bit naughty? Is the one sending you the message truly looking to just have a conversation? Are they looking to be a bit "more"?

I know, when receiving a message such things can be difficult to figure out. I mean, what does ,"hi, how are you?" mean? lol. But take some time, see what you want, what you think and move forward with that.

Keep smiling :)
Click to expand...

I love having conversations with people, and I've found that Lit is a great place to do that. Now I prefer to have my conversations within a particular thread I happen to be in. I've purposely limited any private conversations to ones where I feel that's the venue. But people should talk to one another, not at one another.
 
WillowySparkles said:
I love having conversations with people, and I've found that Lit is a great place to do that. Now I prefer to have my conversations within a particular thread I happen to be in. I've purposely limited any private conversations to ones where I feel that's the venue. But people should talk to one another, not at one another.
Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing. This is very true, talk to each other not at each other.

Keep smiling :)
 
Be kind to one another, have respect and tolerance towards each other. Understand that everyone has a backstory and you do not know what another's is. They have past that they hold onto. Regrets, joys, sorrow, excitement. They are all part of what they have become. Take it in, learn about it, be a friend.

Keep smiling :)
 
rlaflamme said:
Be kind to one another, have respect and tolerance towards each other. Understand that everyone has a backstory and you do not know what another's is. They have past that they hold onto. Regrets, joys, sorrow, excitement. They are all part of what they have become. Take it in, learn about it, be a friend.

Keep smiling :)
Click to expand...

I love learning people's backstories. That would be a fun thread, or maybe tell us a random memory.
 
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