Controversial topic!!!!!!!!!!

Inserts long post just to show:

How NOT to do it...
The roseate Sun, Phoebus’ orb, was glinting in the puddles and dappling the fallen leaves of the ancient forest as Joan made her way along the footpath leading from her rustic rose-entwined cottage, so beloved of tourists and her infrequent visitors from the city who left as soon as they reasonably could because the cottage lacked the basic amenities than any twenty-first century city dweller expected as of right such as satellite television and even running hot and cold water, both of which were unavailable, towards the steeple crowned hill on which the Parish Church sat as it had done for more than a thousand years surveying the expanding and contracting village in the valley beneath and perhaps regretting the earlier centuries when it had been filled to capacity by local residents each in their proper place and order according to the standards of the time, but Joan diverted from the direct route to the Church at a junction and was now heading in the direction of the Evening Star, the planet Venus known as Aphrodite to the Greeks but whether Greek or Roman was the personification of sexual desire, which sexual desire Joan was expecting to assuage once she reached her destination but in the meantime she was diverted by the interplay of light and shade from the evening sun as it sank lower on the horizon turning the landscape to a darkening ruddy hue which darkened further as she walked wondering whether she would reach her destination and assignation before Phoebus’ chariot had passed beyond her view but even if she did not her path was clear because she was accustomed to walking in the direction of the Evening Star every evening that she had free from her avocation of breeder of large and hairy dogs that bore a faint resemblance to The Hound of The Baskervilles and at times she would take one of the so-called breed with her on her perambulation which would certainly deter any evil minded loiterers upon her way but unfortunately also frequently prevented the consummation of her assignation by refusing to leave her side and repulsing her intended with ferocious barking and frenzied attacks barely held in check by the strong leash essential for such savage dogs but this time she was without a canine companion and therefore she hoped that the consummation would be forthcoming without let or hindrance as she continued to walk alongside the nearly dark woodlands before emerging on a slight eminence whence she could see her goal of another rose-entwined cottage from the chimney of which a wisp of smoke was arising promising warmth in both the physical, mental and sexual encounter which Joan would shortly enjoy.

"He's lit my fire" she said to herself.

PS. Ignoring the last short sentence which I couldn't resist:

Words 450
Sentences 1
Reading Ease 0
Grade Level 62.8
 
Yeah,Og, well...

This sentence would have been in Hungarian, but my grandfather died on Tuesday.

Words: 13
Sentences: 1
Reading Ease: EZ
Comprehension Level: Indeterminate.
 
Little Saucepan

Mae bys Mari Ann wedi gwywo,
A Dafydd y gwas ddim yn iach;
Mae'r Baban yn y crud yn crio,
A'r gath wedi scrapo Johnny bach
Sospan fach yn berwi ar y tân
Sosban fawr yn berwi ar y llawr
A'r gath wedi scrapo Johnny bach.
Dai bach yn sowldiwr,
Dai bach yn sowldiwr,
Dai bach yn sowldiwr,
A chwt i grys e' mas.


Mae bys Mari Ann wedi gwella,
A Dafydd y gwas yn ei fedd;
Mae'r baban yn y crud wedi tyfu,
A'r gath wedi huno mewn hedd.
Sospan fach yn berwi ar y tân
Sosban fawr yn berwi ar y llawr
A'r gath wedi huno mewn hedd.
Dai bach yn sowldiwr,
Dai bach yn sowldiwr,
Dai bach yn sowldiwr,
A chwt i grys e' mas.

My sweet Mary Ann's hurt her finger,
And David the servant's feeling weak;
And the baby's crying now in its cradle,
The cat's scratching Johnny on the cheek
Little saucepan is boiling on the fire,
Big saucepan boils over on the floor,
The cat's scratching Johnny on the cheek.
David the soldier,
David the soldier,
David the soldier,
His shirttail's hanging out.

My sweet Mary Ann's feeling better,
And David the servant's in his grave;
And the baby's sleeping now in his cradle,
The cat has decided to behave.
Little saucepan is boiling on the fire,
Big saucepan boils over on the floor,
The cat has decided to behave.
David the soldier,
David the soldier,
David the soldier,
His shirttail's hanging out.
 
Everybody except the thickos knows that I'm an alt.

Am not!

Am too!

Jeanne

Ignore her. She thinks she can write.

Anyone got any ciggies?

Fag-Ash Lil

Who let them out?

Jeanne keeps pinching my feelthy pictures. Fag-Ash keeps swiping my ciggies.

Og

No I don't!

Or do you mean these?

Inserts long post just to show:

How NOT to do it...
The roseate Sun, Phoebus’ orb, was glinting in the puddles and dappling the fallen leaves of the ancient forest as Joan [...] from the chimney of which a wisp of smoke was arising promising warmth in both the physical, mental and sexual encounter which Joan would shortly enjoy.

"He's lit my fire" she said to herself.

PS. Ignoring the last short sentence which I couldn't resist:

Words 450
Sentences 1
Reading Ease 0
Grade Level 62.8

*wipes tears of laughter from eyes*

Can I have some of whatever it is your having? Please?!
 
oh you tease! And I thought you were supposed to be the very good witch!

It depends on your definition of "good" and "witch".

{Insert large extracts from full Oxford English Dictionary with derivations from Anglo-Saxon and Middle English}
 
It depends on your definition of "good" and "witch".

{Insert large extracts from full Oxford English Dictionary with derivations from Anglo-Saxon and Middle English}

Hey no using the full OE unless you provide the neat little magnifying glass! (I suppose you collect those as well!)
 
Hey no using the full OE unless you provide the neat little magnifying glass! (I suppose you collect those as well!)

No. I don't need to. My OE comes in a slip case with the magnifying glass.

Og
 
I suppose this is the time where a comment or two about the little newbie would be appropriate.

I'm ready: show me what you and your magic wand can do (and your little dog Toto as well - or Am I violating a rule here Ogg?)
 
I have the Flying Monkeys and a peacock. No Toto.

I'm not sure which is worse.

I need my ear plugs in to stop the chatter of the Flying Monkeys and the peacock's scream. Both are worse than Status Quo.
 
I'm not sure which is worse.

I need my ear plugs in to stop the chatter of the Flying Monkeys and the peacock's scream. Both are worse than Status Quo.

Gloria doesn't scream. She honks. I do believe you may be mixing her up with that one guy.
 
I'm not sure which is worse.

I need my ear plugs in to stop the chatter of the Flying Monkeys and the peacock's scream. Both are worse than Status Quo.

{Insert audio recording of Question Period in the Commons with the Speaker attempting to call for Order}
 
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