Control

[teknight]

Yes, actually, that's true. Uncomfortable, but true. This relates to our recent discussion about the difference between real and play slavery. Playing rape games risks normalising rape just as playing war-games risks normalising war. So I'm not absolutely comfortable with my interest in rape games any more than I'm comfortable with my interest in sadism. But I know from experience that if I don't express my sadism I am unable to be completely myself.

You're right, there are real (and, for me, difficult) issues here.

That's why I was so guarded and qualified my statements as much as I did...and quite frankly, I was replying to karma, rather than to you. You're aware of the complications and issues, and are considerate enough to point them out. Again, not stigmatizing you in any way, shape or form, 'cause it sounds like you do that yourself somewhat.
Frankly, I was harping on poor writing skills...I know, I know, fully off topic.

 

[NomadLady]

Not if the person being controlled and fucked wants to be controlled and fucked, it isn't. My personal sexual practice includes very realistically simulated rape on a willing but, by agreement, extremely resistant 'victim'. It takes considerable force - or violence, if you prefer - to get her secured and to fuck her. We both get off on it.

I just enjoy your posts to such a "wet" degree.....

 

[Keroin]

con-tro-ol...con-tro-ol

Sorry, Janet Jackson moment.

Nasty boy.

(See bold).

 

[teknight]

con-tro-ol...con-tro-ol

Sorry, Janet Jackson moment.

Are we talking about a Super Bowl moment?

...that's funny, but it's kind of a cheap shot....Sorry.

 

[Ravenwind]

I want to build the people I play with up, increase their self confidence and their sense of self worth. If the only way someone can dominate is by putting others down, it doesn't say much for them.

Ah, but that brings up an interesting dynamic... what if the pyl is lifted up, by being put down? Does that make the PYL somehow less than ideal?

 

[teknight]

Ah, but that brings up an interesting dynamic... what if the pyl is lifted up, by being put down? Does that make the PYL somehow less than ideal?

At the risk of missing the point, I think you, RW, and SB, are talking about different kinds up uplifting...

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh lawd.

Why do I get the urge to link Stella and Netz to this thread?

Because you are a very bad girl what needs a spanking.

Karma honey, I'm thinking that you're using this forum to roleplay as a Dom. You'll find that's not so common here, we mostly post as ourselves-- although we talk about our roles and the ways in which we make them manifest, nobody gets to set themselves up as Lord Domly Dom the Dommest. You'll just get yourself laughed at.

But this sexual appetite is different between males and females, and that’s why male’s and female’s sexuality are opposed to each other. The male is inclined to take and dominate the female; while the female is disposed to be taken and dominated, even dominant females.

Again with the heteronormative creepiness! You guys, it buuuurns, make it stop!

 

[midwestyankee]

Because you are a very bad girl what needs a spanking.

Karma honey, I'm thinking that you're using this forum to roleplay as a Dom. You'll find that's not so common here, we mostly post as ourselves-- although we talk about our roles and the ways in which we make them manifest, nobody gets to set themselves up as Lord Domly Dom the Dommest. You'll just get yourself laughed at.


Again with the heteronormative creepiness! You guys, it buuuurns, make it stop!

Re: heteronormative....see my post in what made you smile.

 

[Ravenwind]

At the risk of missing the point, I think you, RW, and SB, are talking about different kinds up uplifting...

Not quite. Sometimes you have to destroy the ruined shack before building up the mansion.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Not quite. Sometimes you have to destroy the ruined shack before building up the mansion.

When you say that in relation to human beings...

You better have a letter of recommendation from Bob Vila, that's all I can say.

 

[teknight]

Not quite. Sometimes you have to destroy the ruined shack before building up the mansion.

When you say that in relation to human beings...

You better have a letter of recommendation from Bob Vila, that's all I can say.

Don't they say that in the Marine Corps?

I can understand the attitude in a limited sense of breaking someone of their ill-conceived notions or practices...but the statement as a whole...creeps me out a bit..

 

[Ravenwind]

When you say that in relation to human beings...

You better have a letter of recommendation from Bob Vila, that's all I can say.

All I'm saying is, sometimes, hearing "you are this" can help a person *not* be that thing... is it not possible for being constantly put down, to be a source of constant building up for a person, especially if they are the 'rebellious to authority' types?

Don't they say that in the Marine Corps?

Something like that. I know I heard it from somewhere like that. *thinks* Why else are Drill Sergeants known for calling the new recruits "worms" and "maggots"...?

 

[Stella_Omega]

All I'm saying is, sometimes, hearing "you are this" can help a person *not* be that thing... is it not possible for being constantly put down, to be a source of constant building up for a person, especially if they are the 'rebellious to authority' types?

You'd better know for sure that your person is wired that way.

And you'd better know for sure if there are any glitches in the wiring.

And you need to know the voltage, so to speak.

And you had damn well better know what they will rebel against and what they will internalise.

 

[lovebound]

Not quite. Sometimes you have to destroy the ruined shack before building up the mansion.

I can understand the attitude in a limited sense of breaking someone of their ill-conceived notions or practices...but the statement as a whole...creeps me out a bit..

Am I wired wrong then if that statement turns me on a bit?
That's my psychologist fantasy coming out...

You'd better know for sure that your person is wired that way.

And you'd better know for sure if there are any glitches in the wiring.

And you need to know the voltage, so to speak.

And you had damn well better know what they will rebel against and what they will internalise.

QFT.

 

[SimonBrooke]

When you say that in relation to human beings...

This.

If you knock down a shack, and then fail to build a mansion because you don't have the skill, you've lost a useful shack, but it probably isn't a big deal. When you destroy someone's confidence and sense of self worth, and then fail to help to help them rebuild it because you lack the skill, you have probably destroyed someone's life.

And that's a very big deal in my book - probably worse (because it causes more suffering) than murder.

 

[vintage63]

I love asking questions here and finding such an incredible wealth of knowledge. (Well at least from those who stayed on topic ).

Since I am relatively new and still growing I find it hard to find the words to everything I am feeling. Posting here helps a great deal.

thank you.

 

[lovebound]

I love asking questions here and finding such an incredible wealth of knowledge. (Well at least from those who stayed on topic ).

Since I am relatively new and still growing I find it hard to find the words to everything I am feeling. Posting here helps a great deal.

thank you.

I've gotten great support from the people here at Lit... I'm glad you're finding it the same

 

[NomadLady]

This.

If you knock down a shack, and then fail to build a mansion because you don't have the skill, you've lost a useful shack, but it probably isn't a big deal. When you destroy someone's confidence and sense of self worth, and then fail to help to help them rebuild it because you lack the skill, you have probably destroyed someone's life.And that's a very big deal in my book - probably worse (because it causes more suffering) than murder.

I can recently attest to how bad this type this type of problem can be. My life wasn't destroyed but my foundation was shaken pretty badly. This place has been a great help to make me understand that I have to be more careful in who I place my trust in the future.

 

[YourCaptor]

Control is when I snap my fingers and her clothes come off.

Control is when I lock her in the hole for 12 hours.

Control is when her only need is me.

Control is when my word is her world.

 

[KoPilot]

All I'm saying is, sometimes, hearing "you are this" can help a person *not* be that thing... is it not possible for being constantly put down, to be a source of constant building up for a person, especially if they are the 'rebellious to authority' types?

I've somewhat recently discovered that I'm into a bit of verbal humiliation, and I gotta say... it really does help me feel stronger. I have no interest in being called names, but I like being made fun of, because it forces me to either own up to things or roll with the punches because I know that they've "got it all wrong".

It's upsetting when someone that doesn't know me does it, but it feels good when people close to me do, and when S does it, then... I basically feel my best.

But to corroborate about what Stella said, yes: I've got VERY particular things I don't want to be harassed about, because those will open up wounds. S knows this, and I trust him to give me shit about all the right things.

 

[Ravenwind]

This.
If you knock down a shack, and then fail to build a mansion because you don't have the skill, you've lost a useful shack, but it probably isn't a big deal. When you destroy someone's confidence and sense of self worth, and then fail to help to help them rebuild it because you lack the skill, you have probably destroyed someone's life.

I mean something like this:

...when S does it, then... I basically feel my best. ...S knows this, and I trust him to give me shit about all the right things.

I mean "in the skilled hands of the person who knows the pyl inside and out", as opposed to "random PYL you just met who doesn't know what makes the pyl tick" sort of thing... where the method of breaking the pyl is the very thing that can build them up... "to get shit about all the right things"- does *that* make the PYL less adept?

 

[karma9]

Huh, the little girl got her bitch brother; but I'm really very sorry to disappoint you pussy girl, couse I only like naughty pussycats.

Because you are a very bad girl what needs a spanking.

Karma honey, I'm thinking that you're using this forum to roleplay as a Dom. You'll find that's not so common here, we mostly post as ourselves-- although we talk about our roles and the ways in which we make them manifest, nobody gets to set themselves up as Lord Domly Dom the Dommest. You'll just get yourself laughed at.


Again with the heteronormative creepiness! You guys, it buuuurns, make it stop!

 

[Etoile]

Huh, the little girl got her bitch brother; but I'm really very sorry to disappoint you pussy girl, couse I only like naughty pussycats.

Like dis?

http://erroraccessdenied.com/files/images/kittenpantzlp2.jpg

 

[teknight]

Huh, the little girl got her bitch brother; but I'm really very sorry to disappoint you pussy girl, couse I only like naughty pussycats.

Belittling and insulting others is not what gives you control, karma. That does not put you in a position of dominance at all.

 

[Etoile]

In addition to posting LOLcats, I do have a topical contribution to the thread. All this talk of control reminds me of a link I found one time that has information on gaining Control, using Control, and manipulating Control.

Here it is:
http://v.gd/control