Control

[wickedlady31]

I admit it. I am a control freak.
I answered an ad to be a submissive in a writing role play game. I gave it a whirl and despite actually likeing to be spanked and hurt during sex, I still like control and can't conform to someone elses expectations.
Maybe I need to control......
I need someone to control....
I have talked to a plethora of men and women who enjoy being submissive..maybe 'you' can discuss with me your likes and dislikes regarding being a submissive...pro's con's...fetishes....
I need ideas....

 

[myinnerslut]

mabye your a switch

 

[vibes]

my impression is you need to control how you are controlled

 

[submissiveknight]

I admit it. I am a control freak.
I answered an ad to be a submissive in a writing role play game. I gave it a whirl and despite actually likeing to be spanked and hurt during sex, I still like control and can't conform to someone elses expectations.
Maybe I need to control......
I need someone to control....
I have talked to a plethora of men and women who enjoy being submissive..maybe 'you' can discuss with me your likes and dislikes regarding being a submissive...pro's con's...fetishes....
I need ideas....

I like seeing the desire in my Mistress's eyes and the grin on Her lips as a michievous thought is intiated by Her hands! She tells me not to scream, when She knows She's going to force one sooner or later. She just wants to see how long I can refrain.

 

[neonflux]

I admit it. I am a control freak.
I answered an ad to be a submissive in a writing role play game. I gave it a whirl and despite actually likeing to be spanked and hurt during sex, I still like control and can't conform to someone elses expectations.
Maybe I need to control......
I need someone to control....
I have talked to a plethora of men and women who enjoy being submissive..maybe 'you' can discuss with me your likes and dislikes regarding being a submissive...pro's con's...fetishes....
I need ideas....

Gee! Sounds like me! I am switch, but more on the Domme side.

I like having control - have always taken control in sexual situations, ever since I was 16... As a child, played non-erotic D/s games with my sister (again, I was always the one in command), who has turned out to be pretty much as subby as one can get in her sexual relationships. I love Topping and being Dominant, holding the space, giving commands, and I can be very sadistic (believe it or not, it brings out not only erotic feelings, but feelings of tenderness/love ).

However, I also love the experience of pain, haven't found my limits yet to some types - and so bottom with enthusiasm. I would call myself a "full power bottom." I may make funny remarks, but I do obey when I bottom - however, there's a huge difference between obeying and submission, I've learned. I can and will submit/surrender in very particular instances for people I love. But ultimately it is not a place I "inhabit" easily and deep sub space is not somewhere I want to go with any regularity - it is certainly not somewhere I'd want to be 24/7...

I must admit to liking the idea - although I've never done it - of being a service submissive at certain community events and/or classes, such as the beginning evening of a Pro Domme friend's weekend long classes for Dominants or staffing the lockers at our local community play space. I think that the concept of service is undervalued in our culture. But again, there can be a sense of control in such service - think about the trusted butler or handmaid who gives advice and often has control over her Master/Mistress' affairs.

Hope this helps. As people continually stress on this board, there is no "right" or "wrong" or "better" way to do this thing that we do (sorry, still haven't learned the right acronym for that).

Neon

 

[wickedlady31]

meow

my impression is you need to control how you are controlled

i like to be the controlling bitch bag that i am...you know that

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm confused as to what you need ideas about?

Quite honestly, the last post of the OP gives me the vauge feeling that this entire thread is a subtle personals ad, to strike up conversations with people who enjoy being controlled. If I am wrong, I do apologize, but I'm having difficulty figuring out what the OP is asking/wishing to discuss...

 

[MasterPhoenix]

With control comes responsibility.

As rose's Master she has given Me control over her, and with that comes the responsibility to make the correct decisions for her.

 

[SubNebGuy]

so it sounds like you're more of a domme, that enjoys some masochism?

in other words, you need a sub that'll obey your commands to spank you

dunno if that counts for a switch or not. i'm no expert

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I admit it. I am a control freak.
I answered an ad to be a submissive in a writing role play game. I gave it a whirl and despite actually likeing to be spanked and hurt during sex, I still like control and can't conform to someone elses expectations.
Maybe I need to control......
I need someone to control....
I have talked to a plethora of men and women who enjoy being submissive..maybe 'you' can discuss with me your likes and dislikes regarding being a submissive...pro's con's...fetishes....
I need ideas....

i'm not quite sure what it is you're looking for here, though i'd like to point out that being a 'control freak' does not make you Dominant *shrugs* my likes in being a submissive is knowing that through something i've done i've pleased my Sir, i love seeing the love for me in His eyes, His appreciation. i love knowing that He has complete control over me to make decisions for me. i love the bond Him and i share, the love. i love serving Him and seein the pleasure i give Him just from simply obeying something He's 'asked' of me. my likes are hard to put into words. dislikes are as well hard to put into words as its not about me, though honestly i cannot think of any dislikes at this moment. fetishes? lol too many to list here that's for sure. what exactly are you needing 'ideas' on??

 

[wickedlady31]

ideas

well...im grasping in the dark for vague ideas...that is all..no need to dabble on why.....
thanks....

Being a control freak...CAN make someone a dom.....
I like both...so I am neither one or the other.....
I am interested in being a dom.....will I be? not in life...maybe in a story.....

And so...to the dom's about this place...
do you love your sub? Is it just a game?
are there any levels of respect?

My idea of dominating is separating feelings emotionally from the physical...sever the emotional.....embelish on the physical

 

[CutieMouse]

do you love your sub?

Even a relationship based on Power, is still a relationship... speaking for myself, I won't engage in intimate activities (not just sex) unless Love is established.

Is it just a game?

I don't play games. If I'm in a relationship, there is some aspect of BDSM occuring at all times.

are there any levels of respect?

You lost me here- would you mind elaborating?

My idea of dominating is separating feelings emotionally from the physical...sever the emotional.....embelish on the physical

I would never engage in BDSM activities with someone who didn't take the emotional aspect of things into account. Yes one can focus on the physical sensations, alone, but I can think of quite a few physical sitations that could bring up emotional issues- if the two are segmented, how would one deal with the interaction of mind and body?

 

[neonflux]

When you speak of separating the emotional from the physical, what do you mean? Does this mean no emotion or just particular emotions?

I ask because there is so much responsibility in control - if one doesn't feel compassion and affection for one's Bottom/Sub/Slave, how can one dance with them? And protect them?

I can be quite sadistic when I Top, yet, perhaps paradoxically, when someone gives to me of their body in that way, my sadism also brings out great tenderness and a deep desire to protect (this does not exclude leaving bruises, btw, but making sure that I hold the space and listen well enough to ensure I don't cross boundaries or limits and that I am emotionally available after. I cannot imagine separating out the emotional and physical. One of the draws for me of BDSM is that at its best for me (and I know this isn't true for everyone), it intensifies all aspects of my relationships - sexual/physical, emotional, spiritual...

This is different for everyone...

~ Neon

well...im grasping in the dark for vague ideas...that is all..no need to dabble on why.....
thanks....

Being a control freak...CAN make someone a dom.....
I like both...so I am neither one or the other.....
I am interested in being a dom.....will I be? not in life...maybe in a story.....

And so...to the dom's about this place...
do you love your sub? Is it just a game?
are there any levels of respect?

My idea of dominating is separating feelings emotionally from the physical...sever the emotional.....embelish on the physical

 

[the captians wench]

Forgive me, but you seem to mention this "game" frequently. I think you'll find that the majority here doesn't think BDSM is a game.

I love my Master very deeply, and I wouldn't be as commited to him if I didn't. And the only r/l play I have done has been with friends who are very close to me. I could not submit to any one, even for just a few hours, if I didn't think that they cared about me. I have to know that they do have concern for me, how I feel, what I enjoy, how what they are doing is effecting me, if I'm okay physically, psycologically, and emotionally. That takes a level of trust that takes a certain kind of relationship to maintain.

If you're looking for ideas for a story, or rp, you may be better off in the story ideas forum. But that's just my opinion.

 

[Netzach]

And so...to the dom's about this place...
do you love your sub? Is it just a game?
are there any levels of respect?

My idea of dominating is separating feelings emotionally from the physical...sever the emotional.....embelish on the physical

I'm married to my sub, and if I married him for money I'm fucked. Yes I love him.

No it's not just a game, but it's not necessarily something that permeates ever aspect of every day. If you were to stack all the things his opinion decides in the rel. against all the things my opinion decides in the rel. you will see a distinct pattern and shift. However, this makes him happy and comfortable rather than put-upon if we're doing it right.

I think it would be much more effective control to do what you are talking about and dominate someone from an emotionally neutral stance, completely. Much more effective domination. And not even enough payoff as a relationship for me to get paid to do it, in the end.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

well...im grasping in the dark for vague ideas...that is all..no need to dabble on why.....
thanks....

Being a control freak...CAN make someone a dom.....
I like both...so I am neither one or the other.....
I am interested in being a dom.....will I be? not in life...maybe in a story.....

And so...to the dom's about this place...
do you love your sub? Is it just a game?
are there any levels of respect?

My idea of dominating is separating feelings emotionally from the physical...sever the emotional.....embelish on the physical

i don't agree, being a control freak cannot make you a Dom...i've lived with a control freak ..and it ended up abusive.....there is a difference between being a control freak and being Dominant......and i know you're asking the Dom's but my relationship with my Master is of DEEP love and devotion, it's FAR from a game. any levels of respect?? what exactly does that mean?? i don't think you can live this lifestyle without respect. *shrugs*

 

[the captians wench]

i don't agree, being a control freak cannot make you a Dom...i've lived with a control freak ..and it ended up abusive.....there is a difference between being a control freak and being Dominant......and i know you're asking the Dom's but my relationship with my Master is of DEEP love and devotion, it's FAR from a game. any levels of respect?? what exactly does that mean?? i don't think you can live this lifestyle without respect. *shrugs*

she aught to check out our subbie control freak suport line, eh rose.