Control..who has it?

[Shadowsdream]

the gift of Domination matches that of the submissive
so seldom acknowledged for the depth of its emotions
that must hold and nurture even in exhaustion
those who cannot see past the control they seek
while controlling the needs of those they bind with wants
so draining that they cannot always be met
when the reality of real time intervenes

The longest sentence ever seen in Lit perhaps..arghhhh

Do you ever feel exhausted from the emotions of submitting or Dominating?

 

[Ebonyfire]

the gift of Domination matches that of the submissive
so seldom acknowledged for the depth of its emotions
that must hold and nurture even in exhaustion
those who cannot see past the control they seek
while controlling the needs of those they bind with wants
so draining that they cannot always be met
when the reality of real time intervenes

The longest sentence ever seen in Lit perhaps..arghhhh

Do you ever feel exhausted from the emotions of submitting or Dominating?

For me, the key word is draining.

I am always drained when one of my boys leave Me.

I am an insomniac and I never have a problem sleeping after being with one of my submissives.

Eb

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: Re: Control..who has it?

For me, the key word is draining.

I am always drained when one of my boys leave Me.

I am an insomniac and I never have a problem sleeping after being with one of my submissives.

Eb

I do agree that One can be drained just from a long training but for Me it is more a physical and intellectual draining than that of the emotions when training the one that just wants to direct the scene.

nice to see You Eb..thanks for joining the conversation

 

[A Desert Rose]

the gift of Domination matches that of the submissive
so seldom acknowledged for the depth of its emotions
that must hold and nurture even in exhaustion
those who cannot see past the control they seek
while controlling the needs of those they bind with wants
so draining that they cannot always be met
when the reality of real time intervenes

The longest sentence ever seen in Lit perhaps..arghhhh

Do you ever feel exhausted from the emotions of submitting or Dominating?

You are a welcome sight, Ma'am. It is so good to see you back again. ~smile~

I would not say I feel exhausted as much as actually refreshed. Refreshed as in, wanting to please the One who has invested time to please me. It takes time and energy to dominate and I appreciate what He has done for me. Wanting to show that appreciation (through submission) is how I feel.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: Re: Control..who has it?

You are a welcome sight, Ma'am. It is so good to see you back again. ~smile~

I would not say I feel exhausted as much as actually refreshed. Refreshed as in, wanting to please the One who has invested time to please me. It takes time and energy to dominate and I appreciate what He has done for me. Wanting to show that appreciation (through submission) is how I feel.

~~smile~~~hello subbie girl...it is lovely to share conversations with you once more.
I adore your answer and believe that it was written in all sincerety. your recognition of what you are given in order to receive your pleasure brings a smile to My face.
submission, honestly and joyfully given is a true sign of appreciation in My eyes.

I look forward to once again keeping a close eye on you!

~~grin~~

 

[MissTaken]

Submission, in and of itself, isn't what tires me, exhausts me or drains me.

There are times I question my ability to engage meaningfully in a D/s relationship as submission, coupled with single parenting, work responsibilities and all of the real life stuff can be quite exhausting.

I look forward to serving, submitting and being involved with him on that intimate level known only to the two of us. But there are times, I feel as though I am serving my children, my employer adn there is very little left.

Ahh but today is one of those days!

*warm smiles* for Shadows dream.
You have been missed.

 

[quietwillow]

peaceful, safe and content

Sometimes it is draining after a scene physically but for me I find myself at peace winthin and without, safe in my relationship (no one can harm me) and content in my soul knowing this is what I was born for ....serving Master and striving to make our lives in all respects better each day. It really is a "soul connection" for me.

quiet

 

[Shadowsdream]

Submission, in and of itself, isn't what tires me, exhausts me or drains me.

There are times I question my ability to engage meaningfully in a D/s relationship as submission, coupled with single parenting, work responsibilities and all of the real life stuff can be quite exhausting.

I look forward to serving, submitting and being involved with him on that intimate level known only to the two of us. But there are times, I feel as though I am serving my children, my employer adn there is very little left.

Ahh but today is one of those days!

*warm smiles* for Shadows dream.
You have been missed.

Would it be safe to interpret your response as the *fitting* the submission into the very real every day unavoidables is emotionally exhausting...because...of the extra addition of stress related to your desires being to be able to do the BDSM without this distraction?
I know that I can find it exhausting just desiring the play when there is no real time to play completely.

It is very nice to hear that you have missed Me...I have also missed the timber of your voice in My conversations.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: peaceful, safe and content

Sometimes it is draining after a scene physically but for me I find myself at peace winthin and without, safe in my relationship (no one can harm me) and content in my soul knowing this is what I was born for ....serving Master and striving to make our lives in all respects better each day. It really is a "soul connection" for me.

quiet

If all the world could have a moment of the type of draining you discribe it would be a wonderful and content world to say the least. your words touch My heart as I am sure they do for your Master.

It is a pleasure to have you join the conversation.

 

[MissTaken]

Would it be safe to interpret your response as the *fitting* the submission into the very real every day unavoidables is emotionally exhausting...because...of the extra addition of stress related to your desires being to be able to do the BDSM without this distraction?
I know that I can find it exhausting just desiring the play when there is no real time to play completely.

It is very nice to hear that you have missed Me...I have also missed the timber of your voice in My conversations.

Yes, I believe if my mother really knew what I was up to, she would once again, accuse me of spreading myself too thin.

I am one who engages in everything she does to the fullest extent possible. Giving 100 percent to children, 100 percent to work and then 100 percent to Him?

Well, I was always terrible with math

 

[lark sparrow]

the gift of Domination matches that of the submissive
so seldom acknowledged for the depth of its emotions
that must hold and nurture even in exhaustion
those who cannot see past the control they seek
while controlling the needs of those they bind with wants
so draining that they cannot always be met
when the reality of real time intervenes

The longest sentence ever seen in Lit perhaps..arghhhh

Do you ever feel exhausted from the emotions of submitting or Dominating?

Yes. Sometimes the positive, draining exhaustion of peace, understanding, being utterly in the moment... over-riding any outside influences, and very connected.

Occasionally also, feels an exhaustion that seems to temporarily drain some of the meaning of that special corner in my life that inhabits such a big part of my mind and heart. Usually met with a, this too shall pass attitude - just keep doing what you have to do.

When I sense it in my Mistress, I try to be helpful and understanding of whatever She may wish at the time... distracting small talk and joking around to lighten Her mood, quiet, intimate time or time spent apart, for Her to take care of whatever needs to be done or of Herself alone. Time spent apart is sometimes difficult for me to accept inwardly, but has really strived for outward acceptance, and understanding that it is not rejection, or abandonment. Sometimes wanting to actively help, has to be reversed into being helpful by being inactive, and still available, for a short time.

I am guessing that was intended as an open-ended interpretation of draining exhaustion. I wonder what you do when you are weary to combat it? Or is it simply something one must acknowledge and take some time out for?

 

[Shadowsdream]

Yes, I believe if my mother really knew what I was up to, she would once again, accuse me of spreading myself too thin.

I am one who engages in everything she does to the fullest extent possible. Giving 100 percent to children, 100 percent to work and then 100 percent to Him?

Well, I was always terrible with math

~~~smile~~~giving less that 100% sometimes feels as though there is something missijng that One can't quite put a finger on...as though an evasion has ocurred.
Psssssssssssssst! I will be sure not to mention this to your mother!

 

[Shadowsdream]

(I am guessing that was intended as an open-ended interpretation of draining exhaustion. I wonder what you do when you are weary to combat it? Or is it simply something one must acknowledge and take some time out for? )

It certainly is an opened conversation for each will have the answers that pertain to their own reality. I certainly am enjoying your glimpse at my conversation.
It is very pleasing to see you mention giving your Mistress *alone* time for sometimes it is a gift few think of.
When I need to recharge My energy it is important and almost vital that I get alone time. My Domme space being invaded even by a hug can be too much to bare.
I can be a loner when D/s exhaustion over takes Me.
I thank you for opening up this aspect of the conversation.

It is a pleasure to have you enter My conversation ~~~smile~~

 

[lark sparrow]

(I am guessing that was intended as an open-ended interpretation of draining exhaustion. I wonder what you do when you are weary to combat it? Or is it simply something one must acknowledge and take some time out for? )

It certainly is an opened conversation for each will have the answers that pertain to their own reality. I certainly am enjoying your glimpse at my conversation.
It is very pleasing to see you mention giving your Mistress *alone* time for sometimes it is a gift few think of.
When I need to recharge My energy it is important and almost vital that I get alone time. My Domme space being invaded even by a hug can be too much to bare.
I can be a loner when D/s exhaustion over takes Me.
I thank you for opening up this aspect of the conversation.

It is a pleasure to have you enter My conversation ~~~smile~~

Thank you... it's been learned over the course of a year with Her, and something we continue to work on. I am actually fortunate that She has alot of patience, along with the ability not to compromise Her needs. Thinking of it in terms as a service or gift to Her is helpful.

In reading through the board I have come across many of your threads, and have enjoyed them very much - particularly the thoughts they inspire.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Thank you... it's been learned over the course of a year with Her, and something we continue to work on. I am actually fortunate that She has alot of patience, along with the ability not to compromise Her needs. Thinking of it in terms as a service or gift to Her is helpful.

In reading through the board I have come across many of your threads, and have enjoyed them very much - particularly the thoughts they inspire.

It is nice to know that you have enjoyed My threads and that you have found them thought provoking. For only from O/our own thoughts can W/we find and thrive on the reality that becomes the magic of O/our lives.
I look forward to sharing many conversations with you. I certainly have enjoyed the respectful and loving way you post about your Mistress.

 

[A Desert Rose]

What great responses in here and very varied. (humm very varied? LMAO)

You know, I keep going back to the old chicken and egg thing..... we have cussed and discussed here for as long as I have posted, who has the control?

The Dom/me, the sub or is it mutually and balanced sharing?

I tend to lean to the third choice.

I can certainly see how on the Dom/me perspective that it can be a draining experience. But knowing the needs of the sub and the desires of her/him, and knowing that His/Her attempts to meet those needs and desires are appreciated, should make it as wonderful as it is exhausting. In my experiences to this point, I think that has been found to be true. ~smile~

 

[lark sparrow]

What great responses in here and very varied. (humm very varied? LMAO)

You know, I keep going back to the old chicken and egg thing..... we have cussed and discussed here for as long as I have posted, who has the control?

The Dom/me, the sub or is it mutually and balanced sharing?

I tend to lean to the third choice.

I can certainly see how on the Dom/me perspective that it can be a draining experience. But knowing the needs of the sub and the desires of her/him, and knowing that His/Her attempts to meet those needs and desires are appreciated, should make it as wonderful as it is exhausting. In my experiences to this point, I think that has been found to be true. ~smile~

Agrees with the sharing, the exchange - and at the most brilliant, attuned of times the flow is even and continuous, and seemingly limitless. Other times, it actually takes a bit more energy of one partner than the other, which would be normal in the give and take of relationships I hope. Except in extreme cases, where one partner felt drained of all energy for the relationship.

 

[quietwillow]

Re: Re: peaceful, safe and content

If all the world could have a moment of the type of draining you discribe it would be a wonderful and content world to say the least. your words touch My heart as I am sure they do for your Master.

It is a pleasure to have you join the conversation.

Thank You, Shadowsdream, Ma'am. Your words are humbling to me as they remind me that Master and I are very lucky indeed to have found one another. I do not take my submission or His Dominance lightly. I want to have an attitude of gratitude inside me knowing full well that all I do or say both online and IRL is a reflection of Him.

quiet

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yes larksparrow

I see your point, and I agree. I think more times than not, the Dom/me has expended more energy, though. Or am I off the mark? What do you think?

 

[lark sparrow]

Good question - sounds good to me

I'm not sure, Rose lol. If Dominants want/need the control and definition of the structure in the relationship, than it is probably less "work", or at least the kind of work one loves. But would have to agree that it sounds like much more work from this side of the fence! On the other hand, it can take alot of "work" to submit to another -one that submissives find reward in.

Knows there have been many times when extra energy was needed on one or both parts in the relationship I am in, when problems or conflicts come up for us. But would definitely be willing to go along with the Dom/mes doing more work - it's a large responsibility.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Yes larksparrow

I see your point, and I agree. I think more times than not, the Dom/me has expended more energy, though. Or am I off the mark? What do you think?

I think it depends on the dynamic f the relationship don't you?

Eb

 

[Shadowsdream]

What great responses in here and very varied. (humm very varied? LMAO)

You know, I keep going back to the old chicken and egg thing..... we have cussed and discussed here for as long as I have posted, who has the control?

The Dom/me, the sub or is it mutually and balanced sharing?

I tend to lean to the third choice.

I can certainly see how on the Dom/me perspective that it can be a draining experience. But knowing the needs of the sub and the desires of her/him, and knowing that His/Her attempts to meet those needs and desires are appreciated, should make it as wonderful as it is exhausting. In my experiences to this point, I think that has been found to be true. ~smile~

In the mutual power exchange I am going to choose a number three Myself rose but in the instance that the Dom/mes exhaution (or subs) does not come from their roles in the relationship but due to their needs remaining unmet in honesty.
The exhaustion can come when only one half of the equasion is moving forward and the other is stone-walling. What do you think?

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: Re: Re: peaceful, safe and content

Thank You, Shadowsdream, Ma'am. Your words are humbling to me as they remind me that Master and I are very lucky indeed to have found one another. I do not take my submission or His Dominance lightly. I want to have an attitude of gratitude inside me knowing full well that all I do or say both online and IRL is a reflection of Him.

quiet

I am sure He recognizes the class in your posts and the joy that He brings to you in your submission. It is unavoidable to see for anyone that reads your posts.

 

[justgem]

.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: acknowledging the gift given

b4 i make my comment re the thread topic i would just like to say personally to Shadowsdream: since i began to frequent this part of lit i have picked up on Your posts. it has been awhile since i had seen U make one and i was glad when i saw a few here. i thought ..."oh good, here will be a pertinant topic" U were extreamly kind to me the first couple times i posted and i appreciated the way U prodded my thinking. im glad to see U here again.



i quite agree w/this. i dont believe many understand or discuss just how much is required of a Dom/me. it is truely a gift as much as submission is. much is demanded of a Dom/me. a sub depends on the Dom/me for leadership, safety, knowledge, pleasure, strength, guidance, care.

often i think those things r expected w/o realization of a Dom/mes needs. as subs we cant lay everything at a Dom/mes feet, there must be a point where the sub is willing and able to not feel crushed if the Dom/me needs a break. some self responsibility should be in place. we expect our Dom/mes to know us so well... to know our needs, our desires, our weaknesses etc. we too need to know our Dom/mes in the same manner.

in another thread a Dom by the name of "Ricckk" used a term that has stuck w/me cause i thought it was such a lovely way to describe the D/s relationship. He called it the "circle of love". that is how we should look to our Dom/mes.

They give, we give, they receive, we receive. we expect them to know our limits. we too should be able to see theirs. when do we need to step back and not rely so heavily on Them? when do we need to give Them rest? when do we need to care for Them in the best way for Their emotional health and recharging?

we give the gift of submission, they give the gift of Dominance. we should not abdicate all responsibility however. They r the caretakers....but we should be caregivers to Them.

bw

gem

you have put much thought into this post as I have noticed you always do. you do not appear to evade responsiblity in the power exchange but show its complexities with understanding and depth.
The D/s dynamics can only thrive with this type of understanding of human nature. Giving respectful care and space to the Dominant so that He or She can take care of you and their responsibilities to you with all of their joy and strength.
A good self esteem in the submissive allows them to not feel abandoned when the Dominant needs a breath of uncontrolling air.
I for one seldom like that breath of air but when I need it I need to breath so deeply that I become one with Myself and need to know that My submissive does not whither without My constant touch.

It is wonderful to once again share My conversations with you. Thank you for joining..and your kind words as well.