Constructive feedback or comments please

[Miniminx40]

https://literotica.com/s/the-hotel-tryst-1

 

[IARainman]

Do you want comments publicly or via Pm? (Don’t worry, they’re not bad ones, just wondering how privately you want them)

 

[Miniminx40]

Privately for now please

 

[AlexBailey]

Do you mind discussing it openly? Discussions can be informative.

 

[Miniminx40]

No I don't mind

 

[yukonnights]

With one's first story it's often very hard to know the ins and outs of Literotica and to also know what the story reading crowd wants and/or expects. Overall, this story is more of a first scene instead of a developed story. It's not a bad opening scene, but it's not enough for a story arc to be unveiled. You did pretty good on revealing the female character's thoughts and emotions — the male character didn't get the same attention and was somewhat of a "prop". In the future, I suggest that you try to write at least 3 Literotica pages to develop the plot ~(about 10k or 11k words). Also, IMO it's always important to include some element of conflict/crisis that might upset or threaten the situation which gives you, the author, the opportunity to end the story as you see fit (happy ever after — or a sad disaster, etc.)

EDIT: I failed to see the # 1 in your title. So, it's probable that you have plans to continue developing this story. Best Wishes on your writing journey! I'd still suggest you aim for longer parts in the future.