Confused about Desires and Fantasies

[UnspokenDreams]

Okay for awhile I've been very confused, I know that I fantasize about domination and control. But the fantasies of my desires keep shifting, sometimes its about dominated as a submissive,usually its just that. But once in a blue moon, I fantasize of dominating another. Is this normal or does it mean that I am a switch? How does one know? Does anyone else experience this?

 

[herecomestherain]

If it's any consolation or help I too have this sort of situation in my fantasy life. Oh the joy of a rich imagination. I sometimes have difficulty staying with a character in fantasy and seem to shift from Dom to Sub in one scenario. Does this mean we're well rounded empathic folks? Or horny people who get turned on by everything? I've often thought about this switching behaviour of my fantasy characters, however it doesn't in any way diminish the pleasure of the fantasy for me. I'm having an intereseting time at the moment trying to write a story that features characters who switch. Bloody complicated for me to focus.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think with many fantasies, what we might fantasise does not always mean or indicate it is what we want in reality, though it may. Seems the surest way of finding out for sure is to gently explore with someone you feel you can trust, and see how all roles feel for you when brought into the realm of realism. Have fun and play safe.

Catalina

 

[UnspokenDreams]

Thank you for those kind words from both of you, for a moment I was wondering if I was the only one that felt that way. Now I see that it doesn't matter in the end....but I know I will find my way down the path

Unspoken Dreams

 

[Shadowsdream]

The mind is the place of freedom and privacy to be anything or anyone you desire. It gives you a powerful venue to experience a myriad of desires. Don't worry to much about which end of the whip you end up on...generally one ends up where they belong.

It is nice to see two new posters here in 2004

 

[UnspokenDreams]

Thank you I've been reading the stories on this site for the last two years but I never realized the membership thing would open walls to so much opportunities of getting to know new people By the way Happy New Year to you all

 

[Krinaia]

Sometimes I fantasize about dominanting another for my dominant's pleasure. Not something I care to try to act out for awhile but it might someday be worth exploring.

 

[MissTaken]

Try not to concern yourself with what you call it, what label you wear.

As suggested, explore all of those fantasies and you will find your way.

One thing that BDSM has made me realize is that there is no fantasy that cannot happen in my reality,

So, enjoy!

 

[herecomestherain]

Shadowdream, love your website and thanks for the welcome to the Board, this is a big step for me as I have never publically acknowledged/discussed the contents of my favourite fantasies. It feels quite liberating in a strange way. At the moment my sex/fantasy life operate in two seperate but satisfying worlds. They may overlap more in the future, who knows, until then I'm happy to keep exploring possibilities. Thanks to UnspokenDreams for starting this thread and others for the supportive comments.

 

[Karen Kraft]

Okay for awhile I've been very confused, I know that I fantasize about domination and control. But the fantasies of my desires keep shifting, sometimes its about dominated as a submissive,usually its just that. But once in a blue moon, I fantasize of dominating another. Is this normal or does it mean that I am a switch? How does one know? Does anyone else experience this?

I am just about the same as you, in many ways, I guess. But for me, it all has to be mild and understated, whether I am the giver or the recipient.

The most painful thing of all, however, is when you break up with someone who enjoys the same thing you do (in that department) since you fear that you can't gracefully find another. But there is always another. Being bisexual helps a lot.

 

[Peter2002]

Re: Re: Confused about Desires and Fantasies

I am just about the same as you, in many ways, I guess. But for me, it all has to be mild and understated, whether I am the giver or the recipient.

The most painful thing of all, however, is when you break up with someone who enjoys the same thing you do (in that department) since you fear that you can't gracefully find another. But there is always another. Being bisexual helps a lot.

"Gracefully find another..."

Very elegant.

 

[Karen Kraft]

Re: Re: Re: Confused about Desires and Fantasies

"Gracefully find another..."

Very elegant.

Thanks, Pete, for the rose.

 

[WildRose40DDD]

Struggle

I have struggled with fantasies on both sides of the coin myself. I found through exploring R/T that I am more comfortable as submissive. Have to say didn't make the fantasies any less enjoyable.