condoms

[FirstKnight41]

Transition. Transition, Transition

If you can work it into the act in a way that it just happens as your jackin him off or the with your mouth thing sounded awesome, Im sure you will be able to work it out. Rolling it in you fingers to make sure you have it ready to slide will help you transition quickly and make it more likely to work.

Good Luck

 

[ickle_stace]

how are things working out?

haven't seen him since yet, he had to cancel on me last weekend, but i'm seeing him tomorrow so we'll see what happens and I'll let you know

he bought some none latex condoms, he heard they felt more natural so he thought they might be easier to use

 

[ickle_stace]

If you can work it into the act in a way that it just happens as your jackin him off or the with your mouth thing sounded awesome, Im sure you will be able to work it out. Rolling it in you fingers to make sure you have it ready to slide will help you transition quickly and make it more likely to work.

Good Luck

thanks

 

[The Gimp]

Tell him that if he is physically unable to please you with his dick then he needs to make up for it with his tongue.

 

[reader101]

his brain isnt on sex or on you enough to keep him up...he's probably used to outside stimulation and might not ahve slept with anyone for a while so to put a condomn on takes away from his reaction to your arousal...leave it off and he's game...but it is psycological...it has little to do with his attraction to you...and more to do with the other garbage in his head that needs to be shoved aside for him to fully enjoy sex...question..does he talk a good game? I mean are his words and his approach to sex very arousing? if yes then he's let himself get carried away with the thought of sex and that limits his abillity to enjoy it...more along the lines of he's skilled but needs to be pushed immensely to advocate or demonstrate that skill...since he might be more into the concept than the design


my two cents

 

[phoenix1224]

Do you guys think thay perhaps he really isn't 'into' banging other people? I am not sure of the answer, and I don't want to ask him ( It is an embarassing subject for him).

I've given this some thought due to my own issues with condoms and new sex partners over the past few years and I've realized that I've only had erection issues until I've felt an emotional connection to the woman (but, of course, that has coincided with reaching the stage in the relationship where we were both comfortable with no longer using condoms)... Perhaps it's the same for your man. *shrug*

 

[vanelane]

i can't even manage to get a tampon in in the right place, let alone anything like that

Scalywag - we've not tried different types, but i think he might have in the past, he just couldn't seem to use them and the girls he's been with before just decided not to bother

haven't tried that Kylan, but I shall

So, in his experience, if he just manifests this problem long enough, he'll get to go bareback? Maybe if you let him no in no uncertain terms that will *not* be happening here, he'd have more incentive to work on the problem?

 

[RuReal]

thanks

Well how did things work out with all of the advice? I am curious like probably everyone else. Just as an FYI tons of guys hate condoms or so they say, I have a friend that I would just love to slap up the side of the head because of this. Safe is way better than sorry or the worry when unplanned things occur. Keep trying you will find a way to work through all of this, I am sure he will too since he is probably very eager and ready.

 

[Eternal_Learner]

Get the damn blue pill

Seriously. I take anti-depressants, which have the effect of reducing sensation, which in turn makes it hard to stay hard with a condom. Viagra is almost standard issue for this. All it does is to give a bit more zing to the muscles that contract the blood vessels through which blood normally exits the penis. So, when those muscles are actived through the usual methods, you can get enough pressure to get erect. Simple.

Since it's easier to build up pressure, you need less stimulation to maintain it and a condom works fine. Not only that, but, think it through folks...the guy is hard with the help of Viagra but has less stimulation, so...he can last a long, long time. I don't always even cum, but having a good solid hard-on for a half-hour seems to be enjoyable all around.

So, get the damn blue pill!
--
In 6th grade, they called me "Doc". But I'm not one and don't play one on TV. Perhaps in the bedroom, though...

 

[daisey69]

I've given this some thought due to my own issues with condoms and new sex partners over the past few years and I've realized that I've only had erection issues until I've felt an emotional connection to the woman (but, of course, that has coincided with reaching the stage in the relationship where we were both comfortable with no longer using condoms)... Perhaps it's the same for your man. *shrug*

I think you hit the nail on the head. I am totally ok if he doesn't want to do the full swing thing....... I am very easy going in that department.
Thanks for your thoughts

 

[The Gimp]

If the sex is important to you and he is physically unable to perform then why continue beating a dead (or in this case limp) horse? When I go to a restaurant I want to eat. If it's a really nice restaurant I might forgive them once for not being able to serve me but after strike two I'm going someplace else.

 

[SweetErika]

So, in his experience, if he just manifests this problem long enough, he'll get to go bareback? Maybe if you let him no in no uncertain terms that will *not* be happening here, he'd have more incentive to work on the problem?

Excellent point, Vanelane!

 

[tryptamine]

Okay...I'm a man and I've had this problem.

First of all, for all those of you who keep saying "it's all psychological"...I have to say that sorry, it's not all psychological. I also think that just claiming he's doing it so he can go bareback is harsh...guys are in favour of safe sex too you know...it's just that some guys have problems with condoms and I can assure you that they're just as frustrating for the men involved as for the women.

The problem with condoms is that they're often not very comfortable and they completely remove most of the sensation. No matter how turned on you are, the fact is that after you put on the condom and penetrate, it's generally a bit of a disappointment feeling, well, very little. The fact is that after a while, no matter how turned on you are, your dick is going to need to feel something nice around it or it will go to sleep.

Solutions to the problem:

1) Try lots of different condoms. Your man needs to find the right condom for him. Lots of guys like the ultra thin kinds, but I found that the best kind are those with a round balloon shaped end to give the penis more room. This significantly increased the sensation for me.

2) Having found the right condom, the next step is...lube! Put a bit of lube in the end of the condom...not too much or it might fall off, but enough so that it lets the condom move around a little bit around the head of his dick. This also helped me a lot.

3) Experience. Especially if he hasn't had to use condoms for a long time, the simple fact is that it's going to take a while for him to get used to them. Get him to masturbate wearing condoms and practice.

These are the things that worked for me. Just "sticking it in" regardless didn't work in my case, since the penis is more sensitive the harder it is. If it's not completely hard and has a condom around it you can pretty much kiss any chance of a hardon goodbye (in my experience).

Even with all of these things, during the time that I had to use condoms, I could still only manage to come at all about half the time. The rest of the time I would either go for ages and then it would go limp, or I would go limp within like five minutes. I'm also better in bed without condoms because I can "steer" better...with a condom on I don't know what direction I'm going...I can't even tell when I'm going to come. It usually just happens entirely by surprise.

Condoms are often necessary (and seem absolutely mandatory for the original poster regardless of whether other contraception like the pill is being used...you have to be safe). But they can be difficult for guys to get used to. Be patient.

 

[RuReal]

Okay...I'm a man and I've had this problem.

First of all, for all those of you who keep saying "it's all psychological"...I have to say that sorry, it's not all psychological. I also think that just claiming he's doing it so he can go bareback is harsh...guys are in favour of safe sex too you know...it's just that some guys have problems with condoms and I can assure you that they're just as frustrating for the men involved as for the women.

The problem with condoms is that they're often not very comfortable and they completely remove most of the sensation. No matter how turned on you are, the fact is that after you put on the condom and penetrate, it's generally a bit of a disappointment feeling, well, very little. The fact is that after a while, no matter how turned on you are, your dick is going to need to feel something nice around it or it will go to sleep.

Solutions to the problem:

1) Try lots of different condoms. Your man needs to find the right condom for him. Lots of guys like the ultra thin kinds, but I found that the best kind are those with a round balloon shaped end to give the penis more room. This significantly increased the sensation for me.

2) Having found the right condom, the next step is...lube! Put a bit of lube in the end of the condom...not too much or it might fall off, but enough so that it lets the condom move around a little bit around the head of his dick. This also helped me a lot.

3) Experience. Especially if he hasn't had to use condoms for a long time, the simple fact is that it's going to take a while for him to get used to them. Get him to masturbate wearing condoms and practice.

These are the things that worked for me. Just "sticking it in" regardless didn't work in my case, since the penis is more sensitive the harder it is. If it's not completely hard and has a condom around it you can pretty much kiss any chance of a hardon goodbye (in my experience).

Even with all of these things, during the time that I had to use condoms, I could still only manage to come at all about half the time. The rest of the time I would either go for ages and then it would go limp, or I would go limp within like five minutes. I'm also better in bed without condoms because I can "steer" better...with a condom on I don't know what direction I'm going...I can't even tell when I'm going to come. It usually just happens entirely by surprise.

Condoms are often necessary (and seem absolutely mandatory for the original poster regardless of whether other contraception like the pill is being used...you have to be safe). But they can be difficult for guys to get used to. Be patient.

I have a question for you! You tried all of this correct? Why did you try all of this because you wanted to be safe correct? I am not saying this person does not want to be safe for sure, but what I am saying is I have seen and know more than a few men that complain. "I don't like how condoms feel so I try not to use them."

For the percentage of us men that would put safety first and try different condoms until we find one that works for us and keeps us safe. There is a disproportionate amount of men that don't seem to give a flying leap beyond sticking tab a into slot b without thinking of what can happen!

To me so far this sounds like one half of the pair trying to find a solution instead of both of them working together and that is what sucks!

I could be wrong and I want to see if this works out and both of them can be safe and have a great time as well!

 

[tryptamine]

I have a question for you! You tried all of this correct? Why did you try all of this because you wanted to be safe correct? I am not saying this person does not want to be safe for sure, but what I am saying is I have seen and know more than a few men that complain. "I don't like how condoms feel so I try not to use them."

For the percentage of us men that would put safety first and try different condoms until we find one that works for us and keeps us safe. There is a disproportionate amount of men that don't seem to give a flying leap beyond sticking tab a into slot b without thinking of what can happen!

To me so far this sounds like one half of the pair trying to find a solution instead of both of them working together and that is what sucks!

I could be wrong and I want to see if this works out and both of them can be safe and have a great time as well!

Well I mean what I'm saying is that I doubt he's going soft in the hope of not having to wear them. Unless he's an idiot...

To be honest, he might not even know what to do in an effort to solve this problem...just share the info from this thread with him and I recon with a little practice and the right rubber he'll be able to satisfy the original poster...as to whether or not he'll be able to come himself, that could well be a whole other issue.

 

[petecyclone]

Don't forget size...

Depending on his size, you might be having simple blood-pressure issues.

Try the larger size condoms, and the 'secure fit' ones. The little band at the end may be cutting off circulation and interferring with the erection. Since condoms are rolled onto the head of the cock, any leftover 'length' of the condom is still rolled around that rubber ring at the base. So try giving your boy either extra room, or see if a little added condomicular tightness could help his dick.

That failing, try talking dirty. Hold his cock in your hand, look him in the eye, and be just as filthy as you can. That will almost certainly help to solve the problem, although it can bring out the beast.

Cheers,
-PC

 

[Dirty_dave25]

Christ its nice to know that so many people have issues wearing condoms!!

For me the problem is I have excess foreskin, and using a condom never seems to work as they always get pushed off. I too also loose erection wearing them, but I have in the past used Viagra that helped a lot but also a female partner of mine who was coming off the pill had me use them. To the many frustrating nights ahead we finally came to the conclusion. I was desensitising myself as I was an avid masturbator! So we decided to nto have any sexual pleasures for a while…. I think it was about 2-3 weeks. (oh boy was i one walking hormone with a grenade in my pants and the pin had been pulled!!) But the time we got it on I was so horny, so sensitive that a condom was needed just to prevent me from blowing off in her hands .

It worked for a while, but the sensitivity wore off and now back to square one. Being single now, and no DIY sexual activity…. That’s a killer for someone as horny and in their prime as myself.

So maybe try getting him to stop all pleasures for a while… se if that helps. Just a suggestion.

 

[ickle_stace]

So, in his experience, if he just manifests this problem long enough, he'll get to go bareback? Maybe if you let him no in no uncertain terms that will *not* be happening here, he'd have more incentive to work on the problem?

well, i think from what he's said to me, it sounds like they never even bothered asking him to use one, which worries me

i've told him we'll have to, cos i have no other birth control anyway so he knows.

Well how did things work out with all of the advice? I am curious like probably everyone else. Just as an FYI tons of guys hate condoms or so they say, I have a friend that I would just love to slap up the side of the head because of this. Safe is way better than sorry or the worry when unplanned things occur. Keep trying you will find a way to work through all of this, I am sure he will too since he is probably very eager and ready.

not seen him again yet lol, we've both had alot of things on, and he lives about an hour away

 

[londonaberdeen]

Two views and no help

I personally cannot wear a condom, the minute I put one on I start to wilt. Even if she works hard on me I feel my arousal deminish. There's nothing I can do about it.

I don't smoke nor drink.

I'm sure it's a mental thing for me now, probably to do with past bad experiences.


A friend of mine is the same, yet he is okay wearing them with his wife. But when he was cheating on her he would go limp. In the end he stopped cheating as it was embarrassing him.

Could your friend be cheating on someone with you?

 

[ickle_stace]

I personally cannot wear a condom, the minute I put one on I start to wilt. Even if she works hard on me I feel my arousal deminish. There's nothing I can do about it.

I don't smoke nor drink.

I'm sure it's a mental thing for me now, probably to do with past bad experiences.


A friend of mine is the same, yet he is okay wearing them with his wife. But when he was cheating on her he would go limp. In the end he stopped cheating as it was embarrassing him.

Could your friend be cheating on someone with you?

dunno, he's been trying to get with me for years before i finally agreed, and in the past he's told me when he's been seeing people

 

[kaboom3d]

dunno, he's been trying to get with me for years before i finally agreed, and in the past he's told me when he's been seeing people

Hi girl,
How has it going? I hope all is working out.

 

[ickle_stace]

Hi girl,
How has it going? I hope all is working out.

i haven't seen him again yet lol

my friend's dad died last weekend, funeral was yesterday, and I've been pretty upset about it because i've known him 12 years, so me being 21, it's like over half my life

I texted the guy the other day and told him I needed cheering up, and told him why, and he never bothered replying, so after all these nice suggestions, I'm not sure I want to see him again now when he can't be here for me even as a friend when I need him. I'm not just some tart he can use when he feels like it, he's supposed to be a friend as well

 

[Society]

Wow, I think this is a big problem for a lot of guys. I don't have the issue but it can be pretty bad I guess.

 

[naughtygirl69s]

i haven't seen him again yet lol

my friend's dad died last weekend, funeral was yesterday, and I've been pretty upset about it because i've known him 12 years, so me being 21, it's like over half my life

I texted the guy the other day and told him I needed cheering up, and told him why, and he never bothered replying, so after all these nice suggestions, I'm not sure I want to see him again now when he can't be here for me even as a friend when I need him. I'm not just some tart he can use when he feels like it, he's supposed to be a friend as well

You're right, I'd take this as a hint that he's not interested in continuing much of anything with you.

Unfortunately, I'm more likely to think him not staying hard had more to do with his lack of attraction/interest then the condoms.

I've been in this situation, not much you can do about it, just move on and find someone who IS sooooo into you, a brick wouldn't keep his cock from staying hard

 

[Eilan]

i haven't seen him again yet lol

my friend's dad died last weekend, funeral was yesterday, and I've been pretty upset about it because i've known him 12 years, so me being 21, it's like over half my life

I texted the guy the other day and told him I needed cheering up, and told him why, and he never bothered replying, so after all these nice suggestions, I'm not sure I want to see him again now when he can't be here for me even as a friend when I need him. I'm not just some tart he can use when he feels like it, he's supposed to be a friend as well

Sorry about your friend's dad, Stace, and sorry that your FWB hasn't been in touch.