condoms

[ickle_stace]

any tips for me to help a guy i want to sleep with who can't keep an erection when he puts a condom on?

we get him hard, and then as soon as we put a condom on, he goes soft again.

He makes me so horny, and I really wanna sleep with him.

He mentioned viagra but we can't exactly use that everytime we sleep together can we?

 

[Guest]

 

[ickle_stace]

hmmm. he has no problem getting an erection but loses it after he puts on a condom. seems to me that if he can get an erection in the first place then he probably doesn't need the viagra.

the problem is maintaining the erection. I wonder if the idea of using a condom turns him off, meaning it's more of a mental thing than a physical thing. not that I suggest you have sex without a condom. I just wonder if it turns him off.

yeah im guessing its the emotional thing, i just dunno how to get rid of that

and it's not like i can have sex with him without a condom, no other form of contraception for us, i don't want babies yet lol, plus it's just casual, atleast for now, so it wouldn't be the right situation to not use condoms anyway

he can get an erection, last time i saw him, i made him cum with my hands, so i know he has no trouble getting an erection, he just thought maybe viagra would help him keep the erection so he could use the condom without losing it

 

[sunandshadow]

I had that same problem with a previous boyfriend. Does your boyfriend like oral? Try putting the condom on him with your mouth. Or, have him close his eyes, and ease the condom onto him while distracting him with dirty talk or other caresses. Basically once he gets the condom on he'll probably forget about it and be fine, so the trick is to get him to not notice/not care when you put it on.

 

[ickle_stace]

i tried giving him oral after he had the condom on, helped a little, but as soon as i stopped he'd lose his erection again

 

[sunandshadow]

Well, it is all in his mind, so if you can't trick him into forgetting about it it's going to have to be him who figures out what his problem is and how to get over it. Maybe he could practive jerking off while wearing a condom?

 

[Chicklet]

and it's not like i can have sex with him without a condom, no other form of contraception for us, i don't want babies yet lol, plus it's just casual, atleast for now, so it wouldn't be the right situation to not use condoms anyway

there are always alternatives to the standard condom. I couldn't remember the name of the contraception I was thinking of, so here's something I pulled up from google:

The Female Condom

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Kylan]

Have you tried putting some water-based lube inside the condom?

 

[ickle_stace]

there are always alternatives to the standard condom. I couldn't remember the name of the contraception I was thinking of, so here's something I pulled up from google:

The Female Condom

i can't even manage to get a tampon in in the right place, let alone anything like that

Scalywag - we've not tried different types, but i think he might have in the past, he just couldn't seem to use them and the girls he's been with before just decided not to bother

haven't tried that Kylan, but I shall

 

[SweetErika]

Well, it is all in his mind, so if you can't trick him into forgetting about it it's going to have to be him who figures out what his problem is and how to get over it. Maybe he could practive jerking off while wearing a condom?

This is good advice. Has he tried using a condom every time he masturbates, Stace?

 

[ickle_stace]

This is good advice. Has he tried using a condom every time he masturbates, Stace?

he mentioned that he'd have to do it a while ago, but im not sure if he's done it yet

i've known this guy online for years but we only met for the first time about a month and a half ago, and thats only time i've met him, so we haven't really explored anything much yet really, he just mentioned it before i met him and i noticed it, and i wanna help him, cos it's not safe to not use condoms these days when you're not in a monogamous relationship, and if he goes through life sleeping with people without them, one day he might catch something

 

[SweetErika]

he mentioned that he'd have to do it a while ago, but im not sure if he's done it yet

i've known this guy online for years but we only met for the first time about a month and a half ago, and thats only time i've met him, so we haven't really explored anything much yet really, he just mentioned it before i met him and i noticed it, and i wanna help him, cos it's not safe to not use condoms these days when you're not in a monogamous relationship, and if he goes through life sleeping with people without them, one day he might catch something

Smart lady!

I don't want to scare or discourage you, but if he has a history of unprotected sex even with just one partner, the Female Condom (the brand name is 'Reality' in the US) might be a really good idea. They're more expensive, though perhaps you can get them at your local health center/family planning clinic, but they do provide greater protection against HPV and Herpes (which are both rediculously common and contagious) because the outside ring protects the labia.

 

[boston_bbw]

I would love to hear the point of view of a man with a women who used a female condom or even a womens prospective. Frankly I have heard it's similiar to fucking a ziploc bag...lol

 

[ickle_stace]

Smart lady!

I don't want to scare or discourage you, but if he has a history of unprotected sex even with just one partner, the Female Condom (the brand name is 'Reality' in the US) might be a really good idea. They're more expensive, though perhaps you can get them at your local health center/family planning clinic, but they do provide greater protection against HPV and Herpes (which are both rediculously common and contagious) because the outside ring protects the labia.

i just don't seem to have trouble with things inside me, not like penises or toys and stuff, like tampons and things, can never get them in the right place, so i gave up trying. I just assumed it would be the same with female condoms and stuff too. I looked them up a bit more online, and it says there's 21 in 100 women expected failure rate according to the site i'm currently looking on, there's a 20 out of 100 expected failure rate in periodic abstinence

This guy isn't a boyfriend, so if i get pregnant I'll be in the sh*t (excuse my language) i got that to consider too, I'm not looking to have kids yet, I'm only 21 and still at university

I can't win can i

 

[rthnck]

With this ring, I thee fuck

Getting an erection is one thing (that's where viagra, cialis, etc are helpful). Maintaining an erection is another thing altogether. In my experience it's usually mental. The more I have my head in the game the easier it is to keep it stiff. Thoughts of pregnancy, work, errands, sports, possible failure to perform, etc can all contribute to a "hydraulic failure". Not that it's ever happened to me ....

My suggestion is to try a cock-ring. Once you've got the stiff one you're looking for, use the cockring to keep it stiff, slip on the condom (a girls' mouth and hands are nice), lube up (if necessary) and you should soon be slip-slidin' away....

If he can get over the mental hurdles then the cockring can go back in the drawer or you can keep using it to lengthen your lovemaking time. I believe that there is usually a warning that goes with the ring that says not to wear it for excessively long periods of time (more than 20 minutes or something like that) or risk vascular damage (a little overkill in the warning). I think the general idea is to not fall asleep with the ring still on....

There are lots of different kinds of rings. You'll have to do some investigation to find the one that will work for you and your BF. Just doing the comparison shopping can be fun....

Good Luck....

 

[SweetErika]

i just don't seem to have trouble with things inside me, not like penises or toys and stuff, like tampons and things, can never get them in the right place, so i gave up trying. I just assumed it would be the same with female condoms and stuff too. I looked them up a bit more online, and it says there's 21 in 100 women expected failure rate according to the site i'm currently looking on, there's a 20 out of 100 expected failure rate in periodic abstinence

This guy isn't a boyfriend, so if i get pregnant I'll be in the sh*t (excuse my language) i got that to consider too, I'm not looking to have kids yet, I'm only 21 and still at university

I can't win can i

Yeah, there are different numbers for 'perfect use' and 'expected/typical use' because people screw up with improper positioning, forgetfullness, etc., and sometimes products are faulty. Male condoms have around that expected failure rate as well.

Speaking of periodic absinence, if you want extra protection against pregnancy, check into Fertility Awareness Method (I have a thread in here on it). It's very interesting, fairly easy, and has a 97% perfect use rate, just like condoms.

 

[CoolHand7]

lambskin?

try lamb skin. maybe he's allergic to latex. it worked for my brother

 

[phoenix1224]

So far, everyone here is assuming that this is a mental/emotional thing. But, it may truly be a physical thing.

I, personally, cannot maintain an erection while wearing a condom... I put one on and, after a few minutes, I go semi limp. The fact of the matter is that I need continuous physical stimulation in order to stay fully erect and the condom (even an ultra thin/polyurethane one) deadens the sensation enough (I only feel about 10% of what I would feel riding bareback) that I'm not getting adequate stimulation to keep it up.

This guy may be the same way.

Personally, I think that my issue stems from years of excessive alcohol/drug use and smoking... All of which can affect a man's ability to achieve/maintain an erection... Even YEARS after he's quit.

Do you know if this guy has a history of excessive alcohol/drug use or if he's a current or former smoker?

 

[ickle_stace]

Yeah, there are different numbers for 'perfect use' and 'expected/typical use' because people screw up with improper positioning, forgetfullness, etc., and sometimes products are faulty. Male condoms have around that expected failure rate as well.

Speaking of periodic absinence, if you want extra protection against pregnancy, check into Fertility Awareness Method (I have a thread in here on it). It's very interesting, fairly easy, and has a 97% perfect use rate, just like condoms.

yeah my doc told me the male condom is totally safe aslong as you use it correctly, i guess i just feel safer in the knowledge that a male condom could be used correctly easier than a female one if that makes sense. According to the site I saw with that failure rate on, it said it was 11 out of 100 for the male condom, as opposed to the 21 for the female.

I've read your fertility awareness method occasionally Erika, It's quite interesting definitely something I'll consider doing in the future when I'm happily married I don't really have sex that much, sort of loads for a while then nothing for ages, so I guess I sort of have abstinence, but not by a monthly scale lol

 

[ickle_stace]

So far, everyone here is assuming that this is a mental/emotional thing. But, it may truly be a physical thing.

I, personally, cannot maintain an erection while wearing a condom... I put one on and, after a few minutes, I go semi limp. The fact of the matter is that I need continuous physical stimulation in order to stay fully erect and the condom (even an ultra thin/polyurethane one) deadens the sensation enough (I only feel about 10% of what I would feel riding bareback) that I'm not getting adequate stimulation to keep it up.

This guy may be the same way.

Personally, I think that my issue stems from years of excessive alcohol/drug use and smoking... All of which can affect a man's ability to achieve/maintain an erection... Even YEARS after he's quit.

Do you know if this guy has a history of excessive alcohol/drug use or if he's a current or former smoker?

after we've put the condom on, I can get him hard again with my hand, but then i'll stop, and he goes limp again.

Don't think he's done much drinking or drug taking, but he does smoke, although he's supposed to be stopping, supposed to be!

 

[cricketbug]

My other 1/2 has basically the same problem. He goes semi-limp when he puts on a condom - always been that way, no mental issues or excessive substance use. We've figured out, use a 'larger' or looser fit condom and play with him the whole time the condom's going on.

 

[ickle_stace]

My other 1/2 has basically the same problem. He goes semi-limp when he puts on a condom - always been that way, no mental issues or excessive substance use. We've figured out, use a 'larger' or looser fit condom and play with him the whole time the condom's going on.

thanks

 

[SubNebGuy]

I have problems wearing condoms too. When I first started having sex, I'd either go limp, or I'd break 2 condoms during the course of intercourse.

I have to be in a perfect frame of mind, and raging hard to wear a rubber.

since i'm married and the wife is on the pill, i don't ever wear them.

i'm perfectly happy staying true to my love, and not wearing those god aweful things.