Condoms? Yes or No

[PunkyMunky]

My girlfriend and I have been together nearly six months, most of that we were apart geographically because of our studies (very very annoying ) but in a few weeks we will be together again.... and having our first night together

Some things I am not sure about, what are the chances of pregnancy when not using condoms, but using BC?

We get very very horny, and as this would be my first time I would love to not ruin the flow of love making while dealing with plastics. Does it really feel the same, with or without condoms, both from a man's and woman's point of view?

Or should I just play safe?

Regarding STDs, Ive still got my V and my girl has been tested recently and is fine.

Is there anything else I need to consider?

Thanks for all your help

 

[boston_bbw]

Yep you need to consider that just because she was tested and "fine" dosn't mean she isn't carrying the HIV virus. It can be quite a while before it converts to show up on a bloodtest. Not to mention other virusus she could be carrying and just not have a current break out. Dont be silly wrap your willy.

 

[SummerMorning]

We get very very horny, and as this would be my first time I would love to not ruin the flow of love making while dealing with plastics. Does it really feel the same, with or without condoms, both from a man's and woman's point of view?

Or should I just play safe?

Regarding STDs, Ive still got my V and my girl has been tested recently and is fine.

Good condoms don't interfere much - sometimes they can be positively great (especially variously ribbed versions). I'd particularly recommend them for anal sex... much less clean-up afterwards.

It doesn't feel completely the same, but it doesn't feel *worse* - it feels *different.*

However, a word to the wise - if you haven't used condoms much they may well kill your mood. The only solution is to practice with them - I suggest you buy a 12-pack of good condoms and masturbate with them. Trust me, the more you practice the easier it'll be on both of you.

...as to sex without condoms? Well, that really depends. Yes, there are risks. Yes, they may be low. Are you willing to take them and do you understand them? If you answered yes to both of the last questions, then it's really all in your ballpark - just don't be too surprised if you end up with a bundle, literal or metaphorical.

 

[FaeLover]

You really should practice using condoms, if you haven't used them before they really do change the sensation for guys. But, you should use them

a) for birth control, they work, and it's not easy to forget them...
b) to prevent STDs...
c) for peace of mind...
d) and unless you have a valid form of other birth control, like The Pill...

 

[Desperotico]

Look at it both ways-
You are not only protecting yourself, but you need to keep her in mind also. I'm a not just talking about STD's, but also keeping her from getting pregnant, so forth.
Just keep your health and concerns in mind and do what you feel is right !

Enjoy ! (and report back with details) LOL !

 

[espeteroh]

as long as STDs aren't an issue then NO, don't do it. Use foam, a diaphram or some the device. I've always hated condoms, you get hard, you've gotta stop and put the thing on and so many times it unnecessarily breaks the mood.
It STDs are an issue then hell yeah, use the thing

 

[PunkyMunky]

thanks for the help people much appreciated. I forgot to mention that one of the more significant reasons why my girl and I have discussed unprotected sex is because we LOVE the fantasy of cream pies......

....or should that be saved for later?

 

[SweetErika]

Some things I am not sure about, what are the chances of pregnancy when not using condoms, but using BC?

What type of BC? The Pill generally provides a very high level of protection when used properly. However, you have to trust that she remembers to take it, takes it at the same time daily, and it's the right kind for her body. Pregnancy on the Pill is unlikely, but very possible. A woman here was just commenting the other day on how she got pregnant with all three of her kids while using the Pill, and I've know several other women who did everything right and still got pregnant.

The bottom line: If you're not ready to be a parent for the rest of your life (abortion and adoption are options, but even if you've agreed on what you'll do if she gets pregnant, things can change when you're actually in that situation so you shouldn't count on it), you should use at least two method of birth control.

We get very very horny, and as this would be my first time I would love to not ruin the flow of love making while dealing with plastics. Does it really feel the same, with or without condoms, both from a man's and woman's point of view?

I believe if you have a positive attitude and feel condoms provide peace of mind, they don't interrupt the flow of lovemaking. It only takes a few seconds to slip one on, and there are lots of sexy ways to incorporate that in your activities.

To me, it does feel slightly different with a condom, especially if it's a ribbed or studded variety. It does not feel worse, and is really an insignificant change. The big differences are that my husband lasts longer, we both are more relaxed, and cleanup is much easier. All of that makes using condoms more enjoyable for both of us.

Or should I just play safe?

You should if pregnancy and STDs are things you're not prepared to handle. I'd suggest changing your attitude about condoms...look at them as something that will help both of you relax and enhance your lovemaking instead of detract from and interrupt it.

Regarding STDs, Ive still got my V and my girl has been tested recently and is fine.

As BostonBBW said, being tested once isn't enough. Additionally, she may not have been tested for Herpes 1 and 2 (it's not part of "comprehensive testing"), and things like HPV may not have been detected if she had no visible or pathological signs. So, condoms are still a necessity.

 

[yoshimitsu]

Yes you should use it.
No I wouldn't use it.
Maybe it's different for some, I have a hard time believing someone say it's not worse just different.
For me a lot of the sensation is lost which is a big part of it but another part for me is the removal of intamacy. for me it's like making out through a trash bag. Even if it feels almost the same it's just not going to be as intimate as it would if the trash bag wasn't there.
There are a lot of things to take into consideration.
How long has it been since she had sex? How many partners?
How comitted is your relationship?
What risks are you willing to take? What if one of you did get something from the other that didn't show up on the tests?
What if she gets pregnant?
If she is on something like the pill her chances are very low. I believe the manufacturers say there is a 99.X% chance she won't get pregnant. But there are also people I have seen on this board who say they have gotten pregnant three times on the pill using it properly.
Something like a spermacide can help reduce the risk of pregnancy but it won't do anything for STDs, and it tastes like ass. I doubt your supposed to even get it in your mouth.

 

[devils_daughter]

It's only really a decision you and your gf can make. Some people don't mind using condoms but personally myself and my bf HATE the damn things. But, if you aren't gonna use them then you and your girl have to sit down and talk a few thing through:

1) if you aren't going to take responsiblity for the contraception, what is she going to do about it ie what is the best method for her (if she doesn't want to think about taking a pill everyday I'd say go for the injection, it was the best thing I ever did).

2) What are you going to do about STD's? If she's clean then the main thing you're at risk of is Herpes. Now, even though it's not a nice thing to have (I'm not going to pretend it is), I managed to get it and it is something that you can deal with as long as you and your gf are strong enough as a couple as the mental aspect of it is worse than the actual symptoms and finally

3) the biggest STD of all if you aren't ready....pregnancy. What will you do if you get her knocked up? If you know exactly how you will deal with all three of those things, and you've decided those together then fine, do it without a condom, but if you have any doubt than keep using those rubbers!

 

[rattlesnake9]

PunkyMonkey

I am going through a similar stage at the moment. My gf has tried taking the pill and it has made her sick and I just hate! using condoms, probably for the fact I can never find one that rolls on properly and feels at least half ok to use. I have tried all kinds of sizes and it's just not happening!

I am paranoid using condoms because I have had a few times where the lady's vagina has gripped my penis and with the strokes during intercourse the condom has come off!

I am sure there is an answer, I only wish the pill would have worked for my gf because now I feel the only way we can start our sexual relationship is using condoms which obviously will affect my performance

 

[SweetErika]

PunkyMonkey

I am going through a similar stage at the moment. My gf has tried taking the pill and it has made her sick and I just hate! using condoms, probably for the fact I can never find one that rolls on properly and feels at least half ok to use. I have tried all kinds of sizes and it's just not happening!

I am paranoid using condoms because I have had a few times where the lady's vagina has gripped my penis and with the strokes during intercourse the condom has come off!

I am sure there is an answer, I only wish the pill would have worked for my gf because now I feel the only way we can start our sexual relationship is using condoms which obviously will affect my performance

Has your gf tried taking the pill with a meal, like dinner? Taking it with food virtually eliminates any nausea for most women.

How long was she on the pill? For some women, it can take a couple of months to adjust.

How many different brands of pills did she try? There are hundreds of different formulations. In eight years, I went through probably 25 of them...some had bad side effects, others had none. Just because she gets nauseous with one or two or four doesn't necessarily mean she won't do well with the other hundred-some. She may need a lower dose of hormones.

Were you using lube when the condoms came off? Having enough lube is very important...it makes it just about impossible for the vagina to "grip" the condom.

Did you roll them all the way down, right to the base, as far as it would go? Again, it's important you use them correctly. I'm guessing I've used condoms over 1000 times...they have come off two or three times, and when that's happened, we've usually figured out there wasn't enough lube or it wasn't rolled down all of the way.

Did you feel the condoms were too big, or too small?

Look at the bright side...Condoms will affect your performance a hell of a lot less than both of you worrying about pregnancy and STDs.

 

[tryptamine]

Condoms significantly reduce the sensation for the man.

Significantly. There's no denying this.

To make things better, put some lube in the end of the condom.

 

[rattlesnake9]

I have never used lube with condoms, I would have thought the wetness from the woman would have been enough lubrication.

My gf is a nurse so I am giving her the benefit of the doubt at the moment in regards to her knowing her body and the pill etc. Originally it was too strong, but then the lower dose didn't work either. I might have to suggest that she keep trying?

We had a bit of a fight about it because it all came down to "when it comes to contraception its always the girl's responsibility"

Hopefully something can happen where she can find the right kind of pill without too many side affects. Other than that I might have to just try all kinds of brands/sizes and lubes and experiment and use the stupid things!

 

[yoshimitsu]

I have never used lube with condoms, I would have thought the wetness from the woman would have been enough lubrication.

My gf is a nurse so I am giving her the benefit of the doubt at the moment in regards to her knowing her body and the pill etc. Originally it was too strong, but then the lower dose didn't work either. I might have to suggest that she keep trying?

We had a bit of a fight about it because it all came down to "when it comes to contraception its always the girl's responsibility"

Hopefully something can happen where she can find the right kind of pill without too many side affects. Other than that I might have to just try all kinds of brands/sizes and lubes and experiment and use the stupid things!

There's also the patch, nuevo ring, IUD, and a few others that might be better for her.
I have had the same problems with condoms. It seems to me that condoms would work better for a wham bam yadda yadda but after a little while they start slippin around and eventually lodge themselvs in an ovary.
Okay not really an ovary, I know someones going to take me seriously and try to explain why this wouldn't happen.
Anyways I am talking about the metaphorical ovary.

 

[rattlesnake9]

yoshimitsu

I have found the easiest way to lose the condom is when she is riding on top, evey now and then I would reach down to the base of my cock and make sure the rubber was still on and I have had maybe 3 times where it has gone up inside her.

With it being so damn tight around my cock (even if it doesn't roll all the way down) and her juices I wouldn't have thought it could be pulled off during sex.

 

[SweetErika]

I have never used lube with condoms, I would have thought the wetness from the woman would have been enough lubrication.

Maybe yes, maybe no. I have a ton of natural lube, but often (when using condoms, which we always do) there are some spots that don't get covered, so we have to add some artificial. I'm just saying it's not normal for condoms to come off, and not enough lube, or not enough all over, may be a possible cause.

My gf is a nurse so I am giving her the benefit of the doubt at the moment in regards to her knowing her body and the pill etc. Originally it was too strong, but then the lower dose didn't work either. I might have to suggest that she keep trying?

Again, I'm just relaying my experiences. Yes, it's possible she needs to try other formulations and different times of the day. However, if she doesn't want to, don't force the issue because while the pill is thought to be benign with almost no side effects, it does affect a lot of womens' bodies in a very real way. For instance, when I quit taking it, I had far fewer migraines, my natural lube increased exponentially, and I felt better in general.

Actually, the NuvaRing, as yosh suggested, might be a good option. It's hormonal but apparently is well tolerated by most women, even those who don't do well with the pill. Perhaps you could suggest it?

We had a bit of a fight about it because it all came down to "when it comes to contraception its always the girl's responsibility"

Well, I can see where she's coming from. I know there aren't a lot of options for men, but if they balk at the main one available to them because of inconvenience or less sensitivity, they're kind of saying it's the woman's responsibility. The reality is that it's a joint responsibility, and if you're not ready to be parents, you ought to both be using something.

Hopefully something can happen where she can find the right kind of pill without too many side affects. Other than that I might have to just try all kinds of brands/sizes and lubes and experiment and use the stupid things!

There are tons of good condoms and lubes out there...check The Blank Manual sticky at the top of this forum for reviews, and try them out. Quite a few sites have condom and lube sampler packs so you can figure out what works best without a huge investment. Toys in Babeland has great shopping advice on condoms and lube.

 

[rattlesnake9]

Thanks for your advice Erika,

I might have to take a step back from my gf until we can discuss it in person as to what other types of pill she can try or what condoms MAY work for me etc.

Because she is a nurse I tend to be a bit naive and think that she would obviously know more options than me to suggest.

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for your advice Erika,

I might have to take a step back from my gf until we can discuss it in person as to what other types of pill she can try or what condoms MAY work for me etc.

Because she is a nurse I tend to be a bit naive and think that she would obviously know more options than me to suggest.

Yep, I can see where you're coming from. I actually didn't check out the NuvaRing until a few people here mentioned it. If I had stuck with hormonal, that's what I would have tried.

I sympathize with the anti-condom argument, too. That's all we've been using for a year now (though a pregnancy wouldn't be an issue at this point), and we usually used them in conjunction with the Pill. I know it's not as great as going without, but the peace of mind and health benefits (vs. hormonal BC) are worth it for us. We've always focused on the positives of using condoms, including lasting longer, so I suppose that makes it a lot easier.

Good luck in finding something that works for both of you.

 

[alrem]

For safety purposes I'm using it specially during one night stand or going out with friends at the local bar (doing this usually ends up picking a whore available "on the shelves ")

But if I knew who's I'm banging, then I hate wearing it. I just love feeling pussy walls gripping my meat

 

[alrem]

yoshimitsu

I have found the easiest way to lose the condom is when she is riding on top, evey now and then I would reach down to the base of my cock and make sure the rubber was still on and I have had maybe 3 times where it has gone up inside her.

With it being so damn tight around my cock (even if it doesn't roll all the way down) and her juices I wouldn't have thought it could be pulled off during sex.

Your woman was really thight or her pussy muscles can suck it up!

wow its like having a blow while fucking at the same time

 

[rattlesnake9]

Alrem

I know exactly what you mean, I am 2 months into what I feel is going to be a long term relationship and want to maximise the pleasure for both myself and my gf.

I wish there was some other way that babies were made so that it wouldn't interfere with having sex HAHAHA

 

[alrem]

Alrem

I know exactly what you mean, I am 2 months into what I feel is going to be a long term relationship and want to maximise the pleasure for both myself and my gf.

I wish there was some other way that babies were made so that it wouldn't interfere with having sex HAHAHA

How I wish too

 

[Guest]

It's only really a decision you and your gf can make. Some people don't mind using condoms but personally myself and my bf HATE the damn things. But, if you aren't gonna use them then you and your girl have to sit down and talk a few thing through:

1) if you aren't going to take responsiblity for the contraception, what is she going to do about it ie what is the best method for her (if she doesn't want to think about taking a pill everyday I'd say go for the injection, it was the best thing I ever did).

2) What are you going to do about STD's? If she's clean then the main thing you're at risk of is Herpes. Now, even though it's not a nice thing to have (I'm not going to pretend it is), I managed to get it and it is something that you can deal with as long as you and your gf are strong enough as a couple as the mental aspect of it is worse than the actual symptoms and finally

3) the biggest STD of all if you aren't ready....pregnancy. What will you do if you get her knocked up? If you know exactly how you will deal with all three of those things, and you've decided those together then fine, do it without a condom, but if you have any doubt than keep using those rubbers!

I'm so glad you brought up the Herpes issue... one of my friend's got genital Herpes a few years ago and in helping them research the issue I was shocked at how the STD clinics in the USA aren't up to speed with proper testing for this disease. There are blood tests available that they should be drawing... not just testing lesions if they are present... some people never get lesions, I believe, or only get them during their initial break out... and many people don't even know that they have genital Herpes.

Also, since I went to nursing school they've changed their thinking on how it is spread... they used to say that it could only be spread when a lesion is present and, I believe, an open one at that... now they know that isn't true... you can spread it w/o having a lesion.

That all said... and it is easy for me to say it because I don't have it, but still... I agree w/ Devil's Daughter that getting it doesn't have to be the end of the world. I (idealistically) think that if someone cares enough for one it won't matter to them.


Back to the condom issue... to use or not to use, that is the question... I agree w/ some of the other posters that in the end you have to make your own choice.

As far as HIV testing goes. you do need to allow for the 6 month window within which a person might have the disease but has not yet developed antibodies... so testing and then retesting 6 months afterwards (most people would show antibodies by that point although possibly not all) when no new risk factors are present would be in order.

Good luck... communicate... and have fun!

 

[alrem]

One good tip about condom...

If your a gal and you wanna know how important you are to your stud then grab him to your bed then after beating his meat on your hand and he aims to stab you, halt him and ask if he has a rubber. If he complies to wear it then there's a proof that he understand your case and dont wanna hurt you. But if he alibis that he don't have it and he's too hot to stop then he doesn't care wether you're safe or not. He's just thinking for himself and wanna bang your womb out of yer mouth.

Ehehehe

Oh by the way... make sure you have a swiss knife or something like that in case he became uncontrolable