Conditioning / Cumming on Command

[catalina_francisco]

I've had it happen online, and out of the blue, but don't ask me how or why as I haven't got a clue and haven't really put that much thought into it since. It did take just one word and less than a second to react though, and no, not while touching or doing anything else sexually arousing, just happened. Then again. I also came without any other stimulation or warning in a traffic jam, in boiling heat one day too....that seemed to be triggered by a particular riff from Chris Isaak which was playing at the time. Go figure.

Catalina

 

[KoPilot]

Wondering why?

I just don't think my head works that way. Also with orgasms in general I could take em or leave em. :B

-waits for comments about not doing it right-

 

[Allyourbase]

Hi all, hi pleasure fan!

So glad you appreciated the links.

Cumming on demand? Awesome. But... probably something that'll never work on me. I have to work hard to cum, usually, alas.

(I do remember one very delicious situation in which I (supposedly ) wasn't allowed to cum, but wasn't allowed to stop masturbating either. Damn! That, coupled with some serious nipple pinching... gave me one of the best orgasms ever! But that is another thread entirely.)

Reading this thread does evoke a PYL-mood in me, though. Me and my SO do switch and I love to make him cum whether he wants to or not. Cumming on demand, though, in the way that you posters here share about, that's something else. That'd be mindblowing, I think, also as a PYL.

 

[switchbitch]

Hi all, hi pleasure fan!

So glad you appreciated the links.

Cumming on demand? Awesome. But... probably something that'll never work on me. I have to work hard to cum, usually, alas.

(I do remember one very delicious situation in which I (supposedly ) wasn't allowed to cum, but wasn't allowed to stop masturbating either. Damn! That, coupled with some serious nipple pinching... gave me one of the best orgasms ever! But that is another thread entirely.)

Reading this thread does evoke a PYL-mood in me, though. Me and my SO do switch and I love to make him cum whether he wants to or not. Cumming on demand, though, in the way that you posters here share about, that's something else. That'd be mindblowing, I think, also as a PYL.

It is just as wonderful from the dominant perspective as it is from the submissive for me.when I have my hand cupping the side of her facestaring into her eyes as I say "cum for me" and seeing her pupils dilate instantly hearing her breath go ragged and feeling the quivers run through her body is the most amazing gift, it makes me feel electrified.

 

[Allyourbase]

It is just as wonderful from the dominant perspective as it is from the submissive for me.when I have my hand cupping the side of her facestaring into her eyes as I say "cum for me" and seeing her pupils dilate instantly hearing her breath go ragged and feeling the quivers run through her body is the most amazing gift, it makes me feel electrified.

Ohmy...

*fans herself*

 

[lovebound]

It is just as wonderful from the dominant perspective as it is from the submissive for me.when I have my hand cupping the side of her facestaring into her eyes as I say "cum for me" and seeing her pupils dilate instantly hearing her breath go ragged and feeling the quivers run through her body is the most amazing gift, it makes me feel electrified.

And being on the receiving end would be pretty electric too.

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

What else? Cumming during phone sex is an innate ability of women anyway.

Hmmmm.. I'm truly sorry I don't know you well enough to read between the lines here (but I'm thinking your being fantastically facetious).

Sure.
Can you pay the price for it?

Yikes! I might wish that I could, but your cocksure answer of "Sure" just scared the shit out of me Or something

I've had it happen online, and out of the blue, but don't ask me how or why as I haven't got a clue and haven't really put that much thought into it since. It did take just one word and less than a second to react though, and no, not while touching or doing anything else sexually arousing, just happened. Then again. I also came without any other stimulation or warning in a traffic jam, in boiling heat one day too....that seemed to be triggered by a particular riff from Chris Isaak which was playing at the time. Go figure.

Catalina

*Downloading every Chris Isaak tune I can find*
Hmmm... sitting in traffic - heat - music. Interesting... Wonder if that was some sort of purely physiological thing? I find I tend to get sexually aroused in the heat as well.

Reading this thread does evoke a PYL-mood in me, though. Me and my SO do switch and I love to make him cum whether he wants to or not. Cumming on demand, though, in the way that you posters here share about, that's something else. That'd be mindblowing, I think, also as a PYL.

Thank you for that perspective!! I'm not usually in a PYL mind set these days, and had not considered that aspect!!
(Same to Switchbitch - thanks!)

 

[the captians wench]

Isn't Homburg a practitioner of this?

And hasn't Wenchie been the subject of it? (Quite separately from the Homburg thing, I hasten to add!)

Thanks Catty! *Looks around* Must find Wenchie...

It would apear I've been summoned.

I'll collect my thoughts and post something more later, but yes, it is a rather large part of my sex life, and no Homburg has never been involved with me in that. *giggles*

 

[minx1]

I can do it most times; there are occassions when I just dont seem to be able to. Maybe its all down to focus.

I think one of the reasons I am able to do it, is that I practiced how to make myself cum without actually touching myself many years ago.
Lol what can I say, I was bored one day

 

[philomathy]

I'm glad there are people as interested in this as I am!

It's really fun to try for both as a D/s thing and just for fun, to be honest. My boyfriend and I have applied it surprisingly well to sex when we aren't playing power games. I never found it hard when we were first messing around with the idea - but, then again, I've never ever had trouble cumming. I'm pretty easily brought to orgasm. I'm lucky like that, especially when compared to some other girls I know, I guess.

The real challenge came in holding out longer, actually, but it was worth it. We'd played with timing and varying technique so he could hold me off until I was begging before and still do, so it's just a variation on that, really. So much fun. It's worth the wait.

So yeah. Imo, it's more fun to hold off on orgasming for nearly as long as is possible than to have multiple ones on command.

/personal experience

 

[Homburg]

So far as I have seen, there are three general kinds of orgasms in women.

1) Clitoral orgasms - Peak is achieved by stimulating the clitoris

2) G-spot orgasms - Peak is achieved by addressing the nerve cluster known as the g-spot

3) Psycholagnic orgasms - Peak is achieved by stimulating the brain. This includes cumming on command, nipple play, orgasm from providing oral, shopping, etc...

Orgasms from penetrative sex sans direct clitoral or g-spot manipulation are often a combination of these three types.

Psycholagnic orgasms are a wonderful weird world that many women don't ever seem to get into. I don't have a wildly large pool of partners to draw from, but I can say that I've had some that were capable of psycholagnic orgasms, and others that were not. Those that were happen to be the ones that could be conditioned to orgasm on command. Shy's post, quoted below, describes this sort of person very well.

I used to be able orgasm on voice alone.
My ex could lower his voice, speak very quietly and calmly and I would be gone.

The first time it happened shocked us both, it was very unexpected.
He did not need to talk in a sexual way, it was about his tone and volume level (he did post about it in the oral thread under the name Andante).

I think I have a high sex drive, and loathe many aspects of vanilla foreplay.
Perhaps that is part of the reason I could do that.
I can also orgasm through nipple/breast pain and by giving him oral.
For me, fucking is an optional extra in relation to orgasms.

Both of my current partners can come by my command with no problem. They also have particular spots on the body (not erogenous zones) that I can touch in a certain way to induce an orgasm.

With one, it was definitely operant conditioning. I decided that I wanted her to come on command, so I started with a particular word that would never come up in conversation. When she was ready to orgasm from whatever I was doing, I would say that word, and she knew that it was permission to come. That is the first step, by the way, you should control the orgasm first by not allowing them to reach orgasm without permission. Anyway, when she was ready, I would say the word, and she would come. After a while, the world alone, with a little emotional preparation, would cause an orgasm. Before long, I tired of the word, so one day I simply told her to COME using that word. It worked. Simple enough. Conditioning her to come when I press a certain spot was done the same way.

With the other, I set the ground rules that she would not come without permission, and it too VERY little time thereafter to get her to come on command. As in I think it was within the first few days. That was one of those situations where the emotional connection is VERY deep and thorough, and she is deeply submissive to me. She also has a very high sex drive, and is thus easy to bring to climax. Or, well, easy for me. Prior to our relationship she had been having trouble.

Another woman that I previously had been involved with did not get to that point. She was self-described as very unlikely to orgasm from penetrative sex, and warned me that she was okay with it. She came in less than ten minutes the first time we had sex, so she certainly was not frigid, but we never quite got to the point of verbal command. I mention her specifically because she was not one who'd ever had a psycholagnic orgasm, nor had she ever had that urge.

All this said, to those who've never had a psycholagnic orgasms, I've been told that they're "little" orgasms, and not nearly as satisfying as a "real" one. Now I've managed to set up psycholagnic orgasms that left the girl shuddering and panting, but it took far more work than telling her to come. If that happens, it produces a happy little orgasms that just leaves her wanting more, and they can get frustrating.

I can tell you from personal experience that the surest way to wreck your own orgasm is to fret about it. Just enjoy the sex, and let the orgasm happen however it happens. A more relaxed/in-the-proper-headspace you is a you that is more likely to come.

....

And, wow, that was devoid of sexy. Yay for being sick as a dog for three days. I have exactly enough energy/libido to fuck once a day, and none left over to write this post in a sexually engaging manner. Whee.

 

[Homburg]

So yeah. Imo, it's more fun to hold off on orgasming for nearly as long as is possible than to have multiple ones on command.

/personal experience

There can come a point where holding it off causes it to go dead. Seen this too many times with people that were a little too into orgasm delay. This is where knowing your partner comes into play.

 

[redhead84]

So yeah. Imo, it's more fun to hold off on orgasming for nearly as long as is possible than to have multiple ones on command.

/personal experience

Aww...you are very blessed. I would love to have the opportunity to contrast and compare!

 

[subish2009]

<snip>All this said, to those who've never had a psycholagnic orgasms, I've been told that they're "little" orgasms, and not nearly as satisfying as a "real" one. Now I've managed to set up psycholagnic orgasms that left the girl shuddering and panting, but it took far more work than telling her to come. If that happens, it produces a happy little orgasms that just leaves her wanting more, and they can get frustrating.
<snip>

Huh. This is interesting. I'd not heard this before...that they tend to be "little" orgasms. Do the other women who are capable of this feel the same way? It makes sense, just hadn't occurred to me.

I can't cum without permission, but I can't yet cum on command. I had one incident of feeling VERY, VERY close to cumming without physical stimulation once during an online-only conversation (email or IM, can't remember which), so I feel I may be capable of it, just haven't quite gotten there yet. But it's good to know that a mini-gasm may still be the real deal as my physically-induced orgasms tend to be extremely strong and dramatic and ALWAYS come in multiples.

I'm also wondering if there could be any connection between this and the ability to orgasm in one's sleep without physical stimulation...

 

[shy slave]

There can come a point where holding it off causes it to go dead. Seen this too many times with people that were a little too into orgasm delay. This is where knowing your partner comes into play.

I agree with you Homburg, too long a denial can kill it dead. It has also rendered me unable to orgasm with that person at another time. As if my mind has switched off sexually from them.

I also agree with your comment on 'little orgasms' they remind me of small firing action potentials in the brain.

I am very happy with a number of those, usually preferring them to one penetrative orgasm which can leave me strangely on edge.

Since electing to be vanilla I find I miss this part of Ds far more than I had thought I would.
Overall I think I made the right decision though.

 

[the captians wench]

*pounces shy*


Okay, my situation is slightly different, but along the same lines. My "conditioning" happened in one night while I slept. It was the same type of thing Homburg discribed, only done in a very short period, and with out my prior knowledge or concent. He thought I'd be happier with a higher libido, then a few years later split because I wanted too much sex.

I can orgasm from a simple word (but it has to be spoken a specific way, like an order or it doesn't work). From a dry start I've only ever achieved a 3, on a scale of 1-10, but 1.5-2 is more common. A gentle kiss on my neck, a soft blow in my ear and my trigger whispered and I'm up to a 5-6. I've also squirted once or twice, but that was after physical stimulation and then a trigger.

I know the men I've been involved with have really loved it. One in particular has experimented quite intencely with it. He ponders if he could get me to react to something like him scratching his nose or some such while we were out in public. Though why he'd want such a thing considering in the 5 years I've known him we've been outside of my apt once, I haven't the faintest idea.

And then there have been one or two who don't play with it at all. Jounar for instance loves orgasm denial, but has never had me orgasm on command, not on a single command anyway. *shrug*

I have mixed feelings about it. To some extent I feel like a parlor trick and get annoyed at people playing with me. But there have been moments when I've really enjoyed knowing some one had that power over me. Maybe if it were more specialized and I knew not just anyone could make me do this I'd enjoy it more.

 

[shy slave]

Wenchie

This thread should show you that you are special, in many ways, but also in orgasm on command ways.
You are alot more than a performing seal to anyone who knows you Xx

 

[the captians wench]

Wenchie

This thread should show you that you are special, in many ways, but also in orgasm on command ways.
You are alot more than a performing seal to anyone who knows you Xx

Awe shucks shy.

You know you were the first person to make me feel like I wasn't just some sort of freak because I can orgasm from having a dick in my mouth. *giggles*

Don't mind me too much. I've been on something of an emotional rollercoaster for about a year now and I'm in a down swing atm.

 

[shy slave]

Awe shucks shy.

You know you were the first person to make me feel like I wasn't just some sort of freak because I can orgasm from having a dick in my mouth. *giggles*

Don't mind me too much. I've been on something of an emotional rollercoaster for about a year now and I'm in a down swing atm.

I hope the rollercoaster stops for you soon.

We are not freaks, we are normal, fabulous women who have a skill that probably should not go on an average cv!

 

[neci]

Huh. This is interesting. I'd not heard this before...that they tend to be "little" orgasms. Do the other women who are capable of this feel the same way? It makes sense, just hadn't occurred to me.

i've hit big ones without physical stimulation. they seem to take longer to build up, but once it starts rolling through your body it can be extremely intense. you don't stop when the "little" one happens. you dive deeper.

 

[Chiara_searches]

So far as I have seen, there are three general kinds of orgasms in women.

1) Clitoral orgasms - Peak is achieved by stimulating the clitoris

2) G-spot orgasms - Peak is achieved by addressing the nerve cluster known as the g-spot

3) Psycholagnic orgasms - Peak is achieved by stimulating the brain. This includes cumming on command, nipple play, orgasm from providing oral, shopping, etc...

<snip>

I've experienced all three, but only experienced psycholagnic orgasms in the last few months and with just one person. I'm surprised there's an actual term for it, but love knowing. Thanks for the education.

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

I think one of the reasons I am able to do it, is that I practiced how to make myself cum without actually touching myself many years ago.

If you want to talk about this I would love to hear your methodology...!

So yeah. Imo, it's more fun to hold off on orgasming for nearly as long as is possible than to have multiple ones on command.

I think that's one thing I am getting from everyone's input - the higher the level of sexual arousal the easier it becomes. Of course, this is true with regular O's, as well

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

So far as I have seen, there are three general kinds of orgasms in women.

1) Clitoral orgasms - Peak is achieved by stimulating the clitoris

2) G-spot orgasms - Peak is achieved by addressing the nerve cluster known as the g-spot

3) Psycholagnic orgasms - Peak is achieved by stimulating the brain. This includes cumming on command, nipple play, orgasm from providing oral, shopping, etc...

Orgasms from penetrative sex sans direct clitoral or g-spot manipulation are often a combination of these three types.

I am interested to see the third category here. As someone who experiences orgasms from "providing oral" as you so delicately put it I can tell you that when it happens to me, it is JUST as physical as though I was having any other sort of penetrative sex... The cumming sensations are centered in my lips. I would not lump ALL nipple play and oral sex in this category, though I am sure that for many, if not most, the stimulation occurs in the brain and manifests as a genital type orgasm. I posted a thread on this here:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=753478
in regards to kissing to orgasm. (I also think you forgot anal orgasms. Wouldn't want to short change them!) I'm sure there are others out there who experience orgasms centered in other parts of their bodies as well.

Psycholagnic orgasms are a wonderful weird world that many women don't ever seem to get into. I don't have a wildly large pool of partners to draw from, but I can say that I've had some that were capable of psycholagnic orgasms, and others that were not. Those that were happen to be the ones that could be conditioned to orgasm on command. Shy's post, quoted below, describes this sort of person very well.

This is an important distinction - I can see where this "rule of thumb" gets more important as you go into detail below...

Both of my current partners can come by my command with no problem. They also have particular spots on the body (not erogenous zones) that I can touch in a certain way to induce an orgasm.

Something else to look into - thank you!

With one, it was definitely operant conditioning. I decided that I wanted her to come on command, so I started with a particular word that would never come up in conversation. When she was ready to orgasm from whatever I was doing, I would say that word, and she knew that it was permission to come. That is the first step, by the way, you should control the orgasm first by not allowing them to reach orgasm without permission. Anyway, when she was ready, I would say the word, and she would come. After a while, the world alone, with a little emotional preparation, would cause an orgasm. Before long, I tired of the word, so one day I simply told her to COME using that word. It worked. Simple enough. Conditioning her to come when I press a certain spot was done the same way.

With the other, I set the ground rules that she would not come without permission, and it too VERY little time thereafter to get her to come on command. As in I think it was within the first few days. That was one of those situations where the emotional connection is VERY deep and thorough, and she is deeply submissive to me. She also has a very high sex drive, and is thus easy to bring to climax. Or, well, easy for me. Prior to our relationship she had been having trouble.

Ok - the first sounds very much like the article I posted at the beginning of this thread, and is VERY much the info I was looking for - It can be done! *excitement*!!
The second sounds much like many of the people who have posted their experiences here, and also seems to be sort of internally driven as opposed to externally. This is promising information as well.

I can tell you from personal experience that the surest way to wreck your own orgasm is to fret about it. Just enjoy the sex, and let the orgasm happen however it happens. A more relaxed/in-the-proper-headspace you is a you that is more likely to come.

Solid O advice, regardless of the specifics of the topic.

And, wow, that was devoid of sexy. Yay for being sick as a dog for three days. I have exactly enough energy/libido to fuck once a day, and none left over to write this post in a sexually engaging manner. Whee.

A plethora of info (in the positive sense) and doubly appreciated because you are under the weather. Thanks for taking the time to share your experience - your info has given me MUCH to digest! Hope you are feeling better soon, and can return to a state of sexy

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

I'm also wondering if there could be any connection between this and the ability to orgasm in one's sleep without physical stimulation...

I'm going to have to ruminate on that one... You make a great point in connecting the two as "brain induced", regardless of whether you're conscious or not while it happens. I've had many, many different sexual "experiences?" in my sleep and so can appreciate the bond here.

Okay, my situation is slightly different, but along the same lines. My "conditioning" happened in one night while I slept. It was the same type of thing Homburg discribed, only done in a very short period, and with out my prior knowledge or concent. He thought I'd be happier with a higher libido, then a few years later split because I wanted too much sex.

Wow - ok, that is both kind of disturbing and awesome at once. And.. ummm... well... I am now considering making a recording to play in my sleep I am happy to know that he did this with the best of intentions, and that you feel like you benefit from it, even if it was done without your consent...

I can orgasm from a simple word (but it has to be spoken a specific way, like an order or it doesn't work). From a dry start I've only ever achieved a 3, on a scale of 1-10, but 1.5-2 is more common. A gentle kiss on my neck, a soft blow in my ear and my trigger whispered and I'm up to a 5-6. I've also squirted once or twice, but that was after physical stimulation and then a trigger.

I was really wondering about this. It makes perfect sense that the more aroused you are the better the result, which is also reflected in other people's posts in this thread.

I know the men I've been involved with have really loved it. One in particular has experimented quite intencely with it. He ponders if he could get me to react to something like him scratching his nose or some such while we were out in public. Though why he'd want such a thing considering in the 5 years I've known him we've been outside of my apt once, I haven't the faintest idea.

Isn't this the basic reason that's always given as to why men aren't the ones ith the responsibility to breastfeed children?? Not that I am one to talk, I think everything should be taken lightly and treated as a toy in doses...

I have mixed feelings about it. To some extent I feel like a parlor trick and get annoyed at people playing with me. But there have been moments when I've really enjoyed knowing some one had that power over me. Maybe if it were more specialized and I knew not just anyone could make me do this I'd enjoy it more.

Well THANK YOU for posting here, Wenchie!! Pfft... parlor trick... puhlease!!! Your input is unique and so very appreciated!!

 

[the captians wench]

I hope the rollercoaster stops for you soon.

We are not freaks, we are normal, fabulous women who have a skill that probably should not go on an average cv!

I don't know about that, I have one friend who keeps saying he's taking me to Navada for a few years so we can get rich. He promises I'd only have to work twice a week max.

IWow - ok, that is both kind of disturbing and awesome at once. And.. ummm... well... I am now considering making a recording to play in my sleep I am happy to know that he did this with the best of intentions, and that you feel like you benefit from it, even if it was done without your consent...

one of the few things I thanked the bastard for. *giggles* Okay that's a bit harsher than I really feel. I love who I am, and I suspect it was always in me before, and perhaps it would have emerged eventually with out his help. Who knows these things.

If you would like more information on perhaps implanting messages into your unconscience mind I can provide a bit more, via PM. I'm not an expert by any means, but I do have some experience.

I was really wondering about this. It makes perfect sense that the more aroused you are the better the result, which is also reflected in other people's posts in this thread.

Yeah, hightened arrousal does make for greater impact, as well as making it easier to achieve.

Like I mentioned I have one male aquaintance who loves to experiment with this. Makes for amazing phone sex (as well as adding to face to face encounters). We even experimented with the tone of his voice and how I would react to it. With him I've had some very extreme orgasms with out even touching myself. Just playing with hightening my arrousal and using my trigger.

Isn't this the basic reason that's always given as to why men aren't the ones ith the responsibility to breastfeed children?? Not that I am one to talk, I think everything should be taken lightly and treated as a toy in doses...



Well THANK YOU for posting here, Wenchie!! Pfft... parlor trick... puhlease!!! Your input is unique and so very appreciated!!

Thanks.