Computer/Internet Safety Instructions

[Dillinger]

(1) Don't open attachments that you didn't ask for, even if you think you know who's sending them;

(2) make sure your software and OS are up-to-date. If you don't have a broadband connection, take the machine somewhere that does;

(3) If something asks to install itself on your computer, just say no. Call your local geek and ask how to proceed.

(4) You cannot initiate World War III by pressing the wrong key;

(5) Sign up for a computer class. It's a proven fact that family members suck at teaching the basics.

(6) Do not give out credit card information to anybody through e-mail or an instant messenger, no matter how official it sounds. Again, call your geek first.

(7) If you want to find something online, go to Google.com;

(8) Do not eat or drink near your computer system unless your hardware is orange juice compatible;

(9) CTRL+Z will usually undo the last thing you did, no matter where you are or what you're doing;

(10) Do not use the CAPS LOCK key; that is for expert users only.

 

[Dillinger]

(11) If something doesn't want to go into a port, don't force it; chances are, it's not supposed to go in there. At least, not the way you think it should go.

(12) Those are floppy disks. Yes, I realize their case is hard, but the hard drive is actually inside that case;

(13) Yes, that's the case. The CPU is sitting inside of it on the motherboard - which is the stage upon which all of your computer components sit;

(14) Memory is not the same thing as a hard drive; memory is also known as RAM, which is where programs and open documents are loaded. The hard drive is where your files sit silently, waiting for you to put them into memory;

(15) A screen saver is not the same thing as a desktop wallpaper; screen savers are animated, whereas a wallpaper is the picture that sits behind your icons;

 

[intrigued]

Ahhh....memories.

 

[Starblayde]

(2) make sure your software and OS are up-to-date. If you don't have a broadband connection, take the machine somewhere that does;

(2)(i) Caution: If your OS is.. um... how shall I put it....NOT LEGAL then don't, or you'll be caught, and Microsoft won't like that. No, not at all.

 

[Dillinger]

(16) There's more than one way to do complete a task - this isn't math class;

(17) Don't get mad at me when something doesn't work; don't get mad at the computer when something doesn't work; don't get mad at yourself when something doesn't work;

(18) Be inquisitive, but understand that certain answers may not exist - no matter how many ways you try to ask the same question;

(19) You're probably not going to get hacked; ask your geek how to best protect yourself if you're worried;

(20) Forwarding joke mails is not funny.

 

[Dillinger]

(21) The Internet doesn't always move as fast as you'd like it to go; you're not the only person online right now;

(22) Don't respond to special offers you didn't ask for through e-mail;

(23) Try right-clicking on your icons to see what you can do with each one;

(24) Keep all of your saved files, word processing documents, spreadsheets, cards, etc. in the "My Documents" folder. Whenever a program asks you to save something somewhere, save it in there;

(25) There's more on your computer than "the Internet" and Solitaire;

 

[Dillinger]

(26) You don't need Photoshop to edit your digital photos;

(27) Don't send videos through e-mail;

(28) The computer only does what you tell it to do; there are exceptions to this rule, but if you keep running into the same walls, you're probably doing something wrong. That's okay, even geeks make mistakes;

(29) You usually can't return opened software; learn how to download files to try them before you buy them;

(30) You won't need to upgrade everything tomorrow; this system will not be obsolete until it can't do something you need it to do;

 

[candlelight]

(9) CTRL+Z will usually undo the last thing you did, no matter where you are or what you're doing;
I'll be danged, I didn't know that. Learn something new everyday.

 

[Dillinger]

(31) Have fun! If you take this activity too seriously, you won't want to play with the computer too often;

 

[Dillinger]

And finally - the # 1 Computer/Internet Safety tip...

 

[Dillinger]

You ready?

 

[Dillinger]

This isn't just a safety tip - its a sanity tip. And not just yours... mine too... all of us...

 

[Dillinger]

Had you all followed this tip in the first place - the current changes to Lit and the subsequent debates about its value and repercussions wouldn't even be happening right now...

 

[bknight2602]

You mean I can take the condom off of the modem now?

 

[candlelight]

Quit teasing! Come on!

 

[Dillinger]

The #1 tip...

IGNORE THE ASSHOLES!!!

And yes, this means Hanns...

Thank you.

 

[candlelight]

The #1 tip...

IGNORE THE ASSHOLES!!!

And yes, this means Hanns...

Thank you.

Good one!

 

[woodgie2]

(5) Sign up for a computer class. It's a proven fact that family members suck at teaching the basics.

*nods*

After 3 months of trying to help my Dad I sent him details of classes less than 2 miles from his front door... I was about to throttle him. Yet when training clients I can get them to understand. I have no idea why I couldn't explain to him and he couldn't get it.

Really I don't.

 

[Nora]

Actually, Dillinger. You missed the corollary to the #1 sanity-saving tip.

See the little x in the top right hand corner? use it.

 

[Dillinger]

Good points Starblayde and Nora. *smile*

 

[sexy-girl]

(8) Do not eat or drink near your computer system unless your hardware is orange juice compatible;

i always break that rule oh well

 

[perks]

<grin> thanks for the mini lesson, dillypop.

 

[Azwed]

I am going to have to disagree with Dilligner on the idea that if everyone ignored the assholes then the new changes would not have hat do be implemented.

You can't ignore a multipage flood. The largest one was 16 pages I hear although I was not around for that one I did see the others. There are probably other ways to stop the flooding but this seems to be the fastest and easiest way to do it. Hopefully once some other change is implemented to prevent flooding and/or the assholes dissapate then the current changes can be removed.

 

[Dillinger]

I disagree with you Azwed - if everyone had the will power and desire to actually ignore Hanns he would have left a long time ago and there never would have been the flooding that happened last night. He'd have gotten bored and moved on.

No one should respond to anything he says ever again... period. No one should even open a thread that he starts. Show him absolutely no interest... don't even allow him the pleasure of knowing you're reading what he's saying.

 

[Black_Bird]

Round of applause, Dillinger... Great lesson!

Do you think they'll listen?