Compatability

[impressive]

"Faithful" as in "monogamy" means little to me. I think society's focus on it has led to a perception of commitment as ownership.

I'd much rather be with someone who was "faithful" to their own ideals and values -- consistent and honest.

 

[Liar]

Someone that understands that just because I need my freedom, it doesn't mean I won't come back, or that I won't be faithful in the meantime.

Men like that are few and far between.

So are women who will come back and be faithful in the meantime...

K... regardless of which gender is worst of not, I just gatta say... wow. You must be surrendered by the bad seeds of humankind. Yes, there are possessive as well as unfaithful people out there. But the reasonably decent ones "few and far between"? Not in my life.

I feel sorry for you both. Honestly.

 

[rgraham666]

"Faithful" as in "monogamy" means little to me. I think society's focus on it has led to a perception of commitment as ownership.

I'd much rather be with someone who was "faithful" to their own ideals and values -- consistent and honest.

Faithful to their ideals is a must for me as well, Imp.

But I'll disagree on the commitment as ownership. It isn't to me.

And commitment is important to me. Relationships are tricky enough as it is, complicating them by adding people is kinda silly in my opinion.

If I can't meet a woman's needs for intimacy to the point where she has to look elsewhere, she'll be meeting all those needs elsewhere. She won't be included in my life.

Yeah, it's a selfish and old fashioned attitude, but my ego couldn't take the strain of being anything other than the most important person in her life.

So I suppose an 'open' attitude towards a relationship will be a sign of incompatibility for me.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

• Sense of humour
• Intelligence
• Kindness
• An open mind
• Optimism

Not necessarily in that order.

 

[Matadore]

Add: ?

• williness to share
• Need for personal growth
• Sympatico

 

[Quiet_Cool]

K... regardless of which gender is worst of not, I just gatta say... wow. You must be surrendered by the bad seeds of humankind. Yes, there are possessive as well as unfaithful people out there. But the reasonably decent ones "few and far between"? Not in my life.

I feel sorry for you both. Honestly.

I didn't mean to imply women were any worse, merely that neither side is perfect. I've been accused of being possessive, by more than one girl who made it clear I was to be monogomous while they fucked the neighbors (I don't feel that disagreeing with their behavior was possessive on my part, but more a natural reaction to dishonesty and lack of faithfulness). My response to cloudy's statement might have been more defensive because of it.

In my day to day thinking, I don't view people of either side as bad. There's no reason to feel sorry for me, not for a momentary reaction.

Q_C

 

[SeaCat]

Damn, a good question. What's next?

Tips that a person might be compatible with me?

Open minded, willing to learn and not ashamed to admit it when they're wrong.

Willing to help other people.

Not so filled with rage that they can't attempt to see what the other side is trying to say.

Accepting of my quirks, while admitting to their own.

Well read, both in the classics and in current events.

Willing to be my equal.

Proud of their self, which includes but is not limited to their sexuality, their gender, their ethnicity and their past. (But not tos proud of this that they are self centered.)

Cat

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

hmm, for me it would depend. For a relationship, I have pretty much only one stipulation, the person has to like me and I'll put forth an equal amount of love.

For friendships, I've never thought of it in terms of compatability before. I'm a bit...zen about human relationships, taking the opinion that any friendship you have to seek out probably isn't worth having. The friendships that naturally occur, occur because. I suppose there is some common link along the lines of general personality, ecclectic personality, and psychosis, but I'd say the most important thing compatability thing is just plain friendship:

Basically, the ability to sustain a multi-hour conversation with me without becoming bored senseless or having us rub each other the wrong way, being a friend, being someone I'd gladly defend from attack or disparagement, etc...

I'm not sure I'm really able to fit it in a nice box. I'm too zen about it to lay down really any hardcore stipulations of what needs to occur for me and someone else to bond or be compatable. If we become friends or lovers or goat breeders, then I'd say we were compatable. If not, then no.

 

[JamesSD]

Things I like about my sweetie:

She gets and likes my sense of humor
She appreciates good movies
She understands what I mean without simplifying my vocabulary
She loves sex. A lot.

These were all early indicators we were going to get along well