Coming out

[CdKimMajick]

Currently I live in a situation where I can dress in panties but nothing else. May 31st I am moving to a more friendly situation where I can dress full time if I want. I plan on coming out at the same time. At 53 it's time for me to make myself happy.

I have been thinking of just making a statement on my main Facebook page and dealing with anyone who tries to harrass me or bully me about it. But I am wondering if I should come out to some of my good friends first privately but that runs the risk of being outed by mistake or in my current situation blackmailed into telling a roommate about my life style.

Not sure which is the best way. Any advice?

 

[drobert44]

Currently I live in a situation where I can dress in panties but nothing else. May 31st I am moving to a more friendly situation where I can dress full time if I want. I plan on coming out at the same time. At 53 it's time for me to make myself happy.

I have been thinking of just making a statement on my main Facebook page and dealing with anyone who tries to harrass me or bully me about it. But I am wondering if I should come out to some of my good friends first privately but that runs the risk of being outed by mistake or in my current situation blackmailed into telling a roommate about my life style.

Not sure which is the best way. Any advice?

Try friends first.

 

[YoungFarmGirl]

Do you love just cross dressing or are you fond of men and women both?

 

[CdKimMajick]

Do you love just cross dressing or are you fond of men and women both?

I'm cross dress and am bi. I am fond of both men and women

 

[CdKimMajick]

Try friends first.

That's how i have been leaning actually

 

[AlexBailey]

Just curious here… Are you intending to fully transition?


I’m mostly out as queer and fluid, so I present differently for different moods and situations. If you don’t intend to make a night and day transition you could choose to lean into it gradually.

For me it would be difficult to just change all in one shot. I think it would have been tough to find and change my look and style so abruptly. I don’t mean to discourage you if that’s what you feel is best for you, I just want to point out that there can be other ways to go about it.

I’m close to your age and though I was also fluid and often mistaken for a tomboy in my early twenties, I presented mostly straight while raising my kids. I’ve always had long hair, often braided, and had some femme features. I’ve often worn kilts and jewelry, so no one batted an eye when I got my ears pierced, twice in each lobe.

Now I often wear skirts and women’s tops. I don’t pass and get double takes from random people but nothing particularly uncomfortable, even from friends and acquaintances. The only people I’m not fully out with is my conservative in-laws but even they seem to accept that I’m not fully cis.

Again, congrats on becoming comfortable with your own real identity. I hope it works and helps you feel as better aligned within yourself as it has within me.

 

[CdKimMajick]

Just curious here… Are you intending to fully transition?


I’m mostly out as queer and fluid, so I present differently for different moods and situations. If you don’t intend to make a night and day transition you could choose to lean into it gradually.

For me it would be difficult to just change all in one shot. I think it would have been tough to find and change my look and style so abruptly. I don’t mean to discourage you if that’s what you feel is best for you, I just want to point out that there can be other ways to go about it.

I’m close to your age and though I was also fluid and often mistaken for a tomboy in my early twenties, I presented mostly straight while raising my kids. I’ve always had long hair, often braided, and had some femme features. I’ve often worn kilts and jewelry, so no one batted an eye when I got my ears pierced, twice in each lobe.

Now I often wear skirts and women’s tops. I don’t pass and get double takes from random people but nothing particularly uncomfortable, even from friends and acquaintances. The only people I’m not fully out with is my conservative in-laws but even they seem to accept that I’m not fully cis.

Again, congrats on becoming comfortable with your own real identity. I hope it works and helps you feel as better aligned within yourself as it has within me.

I've dressed since i was a teenager and every relationship i have been in knew. A few close friends know but not fully transition. I used to go out dressed in the past but it was always in a different city from where I lived. Now I plan on if I so desire to go for a walk in a dress/skirt I am comfortable enough to do so where I live.

I'm comfortable with either sex. I know it seems like I talk a lot about bi-experiences but that's mainly cause the ones I have had are far more interesting then the standard wife/gf stories. I have never had a out in the open relationship with a guy. There are friends who we used to fool around when ever we could but again now if I met the right person no matter gender or identity I would be comfortable dating them.

 

[stargame]

Just curious here… Are you intending to fully transition?


I’m mostly out as queer and fluid, so I present differently for different moods and situations. If you don’t intend to make a night and day transition you could choose to lean into it gradually.

For me it would be difficult to just change all in one shot. I think it would have been tough to find and change my look and style so abruptly. I don’t mean to discourage you if that’s what you feel is best for you, I just want to point out that there can be other ways to go about it.

I’m close to your age and though I was also fluid and often mistaken for a tomboy in my early twenties, I presented mostly straight while raising my kids. I’ve always had long hair, often braided, and had some femme features. I’ve often worn kilts and jewelry, so no one batted an eye when I got my ears pierced, twice in each lobe.

Now I often wear skirts and women’s tops. I don’t pass and get double takes from random people but nothing particularly uncomfortable, even from friends and acquaintances. The only people I’m not fully out with is my conservative in-laws but even they seem to accept that I’m not fully cis.

Again, congrats on becoming comfortable with your own real identity. I hope it works and helps you feel as better aligned within yourself as it has within me.

I love love your style .

 

[Stacy_TG]

To echo what many have said, come out to friends who you know will support you.

*advice from my therapist that has worked for me

 

[klippert]

I need to know some context. when you say coming out; are you Gay, just a CD… Gay/CD. So everyone is going to learn your gay and dress and act like a woman. Or just a cross dresser. Are you single, married.

I’m going to come at this from a different angle. First; most people, don’t really give a rip what you do in your personal life. They only do when they are forced into some sort of collective acceptance or chil*ern are involved. There will be people that my say; “ We always thought you were gay. The cd stuff is a surprise”. And move on. There will be other that say. Nope don’t agree with that lifestyle. You should already know who they are and they shouldn’t be treated as if they are some sort of threat. They too have their beliefs and should be respected. If you’re catching them all from right field. remember you’re not the victim…
dropping a b*mb on them isn’t fair either. Trust me I know the victim card is in the back pocket.
Because it was tried by my wife’s cousin.

I’ve really been baffled by this idea that an alternative lifestyle needs to be in everyone else’s business. For two years I lived closeted gay life while in college. I never thought that I need to tell anyone. I guess it was just that I was involved in m/m sex. And never thought more of it than that. After some eye opening moments and having a deep desire for women. But enjoying m/m sex. I just made a choice to go the other direction. While still have the occasional..

Just live your life. Don’t expect people to pronoun you. That’s where it will all come apart for your big cumming out. Just be truthful and respectful to other people. You may lose some friends over it. Like I did over turning a different direction. But are they, were they really your friends. Heck, never know. One evening Bill who you’ve known for years knocks on your door to come out, that he’s always been turned on by Male CDz. That more likely to actually happen.

I truly wish you happiness and this big reveal will really make you happy. I’ve known my share who thought this coming out was the fix. I can say. Of them, one switched like me married (Bi) the others, are still looking for that fulfillment. To which they blame others.

In closing. If you decide not to, cum out. I’ll give you the same advice a CD I was regularly with in college. When he knew I was struggling. “Don’t over think this stuff Geoff. Enjoy it while it lasts, life’s to short and It ain’t anyone’s business what we do behind closed door”

 

[CdKimMajick]

I need to know some context. when you say coming out; are you Gay, just a CD… Gay/CD. So everyone is going to learn your gay and dress and act like a woman. Or just a cross dresser. Are you single, married.

I’m going to come at this from a different angle. First; most people, don’t really give a rip what you do in your personal life. They only do when they are forced into some sort of collective acceptance or chil*ern are involved. There will be people that my say; “ We always thought you were gay. The cd stuff is a surprise”. And move on. There will be other that say. Nope don’t agree with that lifestyle. You should already know who they are and they shouldn’t be treated as if they are some sort of threat. They too have their beliefs and should be respected. If you’re catching them all from right field. remember you’re not the victim…
dropping a b*mb on them isn’t fair either. Trust me I know the victim card is in the back pocket.
Because it was tried by my wife’s cousin.

I’ve really been baffled by this idea that an alternative lifestyle needs to be in everyone else’s business. For two years I lived closeted gay life while in college. I never thought that I need to tell anyone. I guess it was just that I was involved in m/m sex. And never thought more of it than that. After some eye opening moments and having a deep desire for women. But enjoying m/m sex. I just made a choice to go the other direction. While still have the occasional..

Just live your life. Don’t expect people to pronoun you. That’s where it will all come apart for your big cumming out. Just be truthful and respectful to other people. You may lose some friends over it. Like I did over turning a different direction. But are they, were they really your friends. Heck, never know. One evening Bill who you’ve known for years knocks on your door to come out, that he’s always been turned on by Male CDz. That more likely to actually happen.

I truly wish you happiness and this big reveal will really make you happy. I’ve known my share who thought this coming out was the fix. I can say. Of them, one switched like me married (Bi) the others, are still looking for that fulfillment. To which they blame others.

In closing. If you decide not to, cum out. I’ll give you the same advice a CD I was regularly with in college. When he knew I was struggling. “Don’t over think this stuff Geoff. Enjoy it while it lasts, life’s to short and It ain’t anyone’s business what we do behind closed door”

I am bi and a crossdresser. I was living with some friends and tired of hiding being a crossdresser and came out to them and they said they could handle it but I was asked to move out even though I wasn't running around dressed cause they ended up not being able to handle it.


About 2 years ago I was forced to come out to the people I was living with at the time(I'm disabled) because one of the "friends" was trying to blackmail me and told me they would tell the head of the house. They were cool with it but I could only dress in my room.

I'm at the point in my life age wise(53) where I'm tired of hiding who I am and I figured it would be easier to tell people rather they run into me out dressed. I decided only very close family/friends(ones I have been friends with most my life) that I told. The rest I could care less if they find out.

You made some very valid points in your post tyvm

 

[DaddysSissySlut24]

Currently I live in a situation where I can dress in panties but nothing else. May 31st I am moving to a more friendly situation where I can dress full time if I want. I plan on coming out at the same time. At 53 it's time for me to make myself happy.

I have been thinking of just making a statement on my main Facebook page and dealing with anyone who tries to harrass me or bully me about it. But I am wondering if I should come out to some of my good friends first privately but that runs the risk of being outed by mistake or in my current situation blackmailed into telling a roommate about my life style.

Not sure which is the best way. Any advice?

For me to give advice would be to...let's put it this way...I'm less a role model than...a cautionary tale. IDK I never "came out" I just...incorporated it and stopped doing anything to hide it. Now...an interesting way...would be to just start dressing etc. in public and every time you meet someone you know, convince them that you are your male self's fraternal twin! Eh? Eh? Gawd I wish I had done that...the confusion! The chaos! Delicious...

 

[CdKimMajick]

For me to give advice would be to...let's put it this way...I'm less a role model than...a cautionary tale. IDK I never "came out" I just...incorporated it and stopped doing anything to hide it. Now...an interesting way...would be to just start dressing etc. in public and every time you meet someone you know, convince them that you are your male self's fraternal twin! Eh? Eh? Gawd I wish I had done that...the confusion! The chaos! Delicious...

I decided to make a fb page for Kim and tell the ones who are close to me via text or over the phone then ask if they wanted an invite to the page.

Anyone who didn't get the message can find out if I am out and about as Kim otherwise I've told those who I wanted to know for various reasons