"Comfortable"

[lady_poisyn]

Yeah, I'm too lazy to log this file out to log into my own.

There was a discussion started between Poisyn and I about comfort when it comes to sex, or more specifically lust. I had described lust as an intense drive for pleasure, which Poisyn said was "comfortable", referring to a dick being comfy between the legs. My response was that it may feel good for some to be whipped or flogged, but pain damn sure isn't comfortable. She disagrees.

So, thoughts. Is all sexual behavior comfortable in the situation that you are with an experienced partner well able to satisfy your desires in all forms, painful or no?

answers please =^_^=

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I might be particularly fuzzy today, but I'm not understanding the question at all.


Do you mean physical comfort or emotional? Either way, yes, I prfer to be comfortable. If I'm not physically comfortable outside of any bondage, pain, or other play, then it drags my tolerances way down, and fucks with my focus.

And I enjoy the comfortable, uninhibited sex with someone I know, and who knows me well.

 

[Kikori]

Physical comfort. Of course there's emotional comfort in knowing and trusting your partner, but the question pretty much covers if it's physically comfortable to recieve any pleasure, with my view being "Not something like pain, that flippin' hurts" and hers being "any pleasure is comfortable". ^_^;

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Physical comfort. Of course there's emotional comfort in knowing and trusting your partner, but the question pretty much covers if it's physically comfortable to recieve any pleasure, with my view being "Not something like pain, that flippin' hurts" and hers being "any pleasure is comfortable". ^_^;

Ok, I'd agree. It flipping hurts. But I *like* that.

But I need to be otherwise comfortable to be able to deal with that. No awkward bondage, not too cold, or too hot, if the pillow's under my head when I'm on the bed, it needs to damned well be even. not crooked. That distracts me and makes me uncomfortable. Things like that.

 

[Black_Bunny]

I'm not sure I understand the question either, but I think there needs to be an agreement on what the term 'comfortable' means.

As a masochist, I would consider receiving a whipping or the like from my Dominant to be comfortable. Only with him though, as he knows and understands my reactions, and we both know what pleases each other. The endorphins (or whatever it is) put me in a 'flying' state (I think it's called subspace) very easily, and since that state is kind of dreamy and relaxed, yeah I guess you could call that comfortable. Hmm not sure if I'm making sense either :-/

 

[lady_poisyn]

I'm not sure I understand the question either, but I think there needs to be an agreement on what the term 'comfortable' means.

As a masochist, I would consider receiving a whipping or the like from my Dominant to be comfortable. Only with him though, as he knows and understands my reactions, and we both know what pleases each other. The endorphins (or whatever it is) put me in a 'flying' state (I think it's called subspace) very easily, and since that state is kind of dreamy and relaxed, yeah I guess you could call that comfortable. Hmm not sure if I'm making sense either :-/

making perfect sense to me =^_^= and exactly what i mean.
the pain HURTS i know this but is at the same time kinda a pleasurable comfortable thing i'd hope.

(koneko is silly lol this all stems from a dinner conversation where we were discussing how/ when koneko's eyes turn green, seems mostly when they are lustful or being comforted/ comfortable (after sex usually )

 

[lady_poisyn]

i guess to sum the question up,
can you feel "comfort" from the pain your dom. puts you through, or is the comfort received only after you've had sex?

in my thoughts comfort= reassurance, pleasure, a loving feeling, ect.

dunno if this helps?

 

[Black_Bunny]

i guess to sum the question up,
can you feel "comfort" from the pain your dom. puts you through, or is the comfort received only after you've had sex?

in my thoughts comfort= reassurance, pleasure, a loving feeling, ect.

dunno if this helps?

Ah right, got it Going by your definition, yes I do feel comfort from the pain he inflicts. First because he is taking the time and effort to 'give' me this thing, in that moment I am the only thing he is thinking about, his only concern is for me, his every action is designed to give me the best possible experience ("best" not necessarily meaning 'the most pleasurable'). And then the pain becomes a welcome release to the anticipation, all the tension in the muscles relax after each blow.

 

[lady_poisyn]

Ah right, got it Going by your definition, yes I do feel comfort from the pain he inflicts. First because he is taking the time and effort to 'give' me this thing, in that moment I am the only thing he is thinking about, his only concern is for me, his every action is designed to give me the best possible experience ("best" not necessarily meaning 'the most pleasurable'). And then the pain becomes a welcome release to the anticipation, all the tension in the muscles relax after each blow.

*nods* that's what i thought beautiful lady!
while i may not enjoy much pain myself (the occasional bites, scratches, spankings and such) i can see how others can find comfort in it.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

... First because he is taking the time and effort to 'give' me this thing, in that moment I am the only thing he is thinking about, his only concern is for me, his every action is designed to give me the best possible experience ("best" not necessarily meaning 'the most pleasurable'). And then the pain becomes a welcome release to the anticipation, all the tension in the muscles relax after each blow.

I vote for this. Hmmm...where can I text my vote?

I like that I can flip it to the D side, and it also makes sense to me (Ahh. So comfortable ):

First because he is taking the time and effort to 'give' me this [submission], in that moment I am the only thing he is thinking about, [her] only concern is for me, [her] every action is designed to give me the best possible experience ("best" not necessarily meaning 'the most pleasurable'). And then [giving] pain becomes a welcome release to the anticipation, all the tension in the muscles relax after each blow.

 

[lady_poisyn]

I vote for this. Hmmm...where can I text my vote?

I like that I can flip it to the D side, and it also makes sense to me (Ahh. So comfortable ):

First because he is taking the time and effort to 'give' me this [submission], in that moment I am the only thing he is thinking about, [her] only concern is for me, [her] every action is designed to give me the best possible experience ("best" not necessarily meaning 'the most pleasurable'). And then [giving] pain becomes a welcome release to the anticipation, all the tension in the muscles relax after each blow.

oooo nice to get a doms perspective on this as well as the submissive's =^_^=
lol 'fraid i don't have a text line to give out =^_~= but i may add a poll at sometime =^_^=

 

[Netzach]

There is a very endorphin rich la la la I'm so high whee kind of pain if you hit a person's threshold just right. I'd say that's cozy.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Ah right, got it Going by your definition, yes I do feel comfort from the pain he inflicts. First because he is taking the time and effort to 'give' me this thing, in that moment I am the only thing he is thinking about, his only concern is for me, his every action is designed to give me the best possible experience ("best" not necessarily meaning 'the most pleasurable'). And then the pain becomes a welcome release to the anticipation, all the tension in the muscles relax after each blow.

Oh, I like that


eta: Ok, it's not that I find comfort in the sex. I do find comfort in the fact that he's using me though. It's a different kind of happiness.

 

[lady_poisyn]

not on topic ladies and gents, but i hope you will forgive me, and perhaps help me a bit,
not sure where else to post this, but since in a way comfort is covered here, i figure why not.

first off, a brief bit of a personal history, i was married and now divorced, but at one pint in that marriage, my ex strangled me- not in foreplay, but in anger, one of the scariest nights of my life honestly.
why this is relevant- due to medical issues, i am now required to wear a neck brace to sleep, while this does indeed help the medical problem, it has the horrid habit of me having nightmares, and flashbacks to HIS hands about my neck, i even wear it as loose as possible and still be effective, but no dice, same thing every night, and every time i sleep.

any advice for this kitten?

 

[Black_Bunny]

I voted "comfort in any kind of sex" in the poll, but it is limited to my current partner. I don't think I'd find comfort in sex with someone else (at this time), but any sex with him, yes

I like that I can flip it to the D side, and it also makes sense to me (Ahh. So comfortable ):

First because he is taking the time and effort to 'give' me this [submission], in that moment I am the only thing he is thinking about, [her] only concern is for me, [her] every action is designed to give me the best possible experience ("best" not necessarily meaning 'the most pleasurable'). And then [giving] pain becomes a welcome release to the anticipation, all the tension in the muscles relax after each blow.

Wow, nice! I hadn't even thought about it being the same type of experience for the Dominant.

endorphin rich la la la I'm so high whee

Perfectly describes it

not on topic ladies and gents, but i hope you will forgive me, and perhaps help me a bit,
not sure where else to post this, but since in a way comfort is covered here, i figure why not. *snip*

I'd suggest starting a new thread for this, you might get more replies that way, that's all

In answer to your question, I'd recommend a counsellor. I know it seems like the short easy way of giving an answer, but honestly I think given the nightmares and flashbacks, there are lots of psychological issues that need to be sorted out by a professional

 

[Netzach]

not on topic ladies and gents, but i hope you will forgive me, and perhaps help me a bit,
not sure where else to post this, but since in a way comfort is covered here, i figure why not.

first off, a brief bit of a personal history, i was married and now divorced, but at one pint in that marriage, my ex strangled me- not in foreplay, but in anger, one of the scariest nights of my life honestly.
why this is relevant- due to medical issues, i am now required to wear a neck brace to sleep, while this does indeed help the medical problem, it has the horrid habit of me having nightmares, and flashbacks to HIS hands about my neck, i even wear it as loose as possible and still be effective, but no dice, same thing every night, and every time i sleep.

any advice for this kitten?

Honestly? Therapy. Getting some help so that you can re-frame the meaning of the sensation so that you know it's your neckbrace helping you.

 

[lady_poisyn]

Honestly? Therapy. Getting some help so that you can re-frame the meaning of the sensation so that you know it's your neckbrace helping you.

i've been trying that, with limited success, but thank you ladies