Comfort Sex

[Selena_Kitt]

Have you ever been in a situation where you were just really, really sad... and ended up having sex with the person who was comforting you? (or vice versa)

What was it like? How is it different from "regular sex"?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Would it help solicit responses if I said this is a research question, and admit that I, myself, have never had comfort sex???

 

[Guest]

I mentally ran though my experiences and can't say that has happened. I've comforted a lot of women friends, but never had it get sexual.

Rent "Summer of '42" to see a film take on this concept.

Would the kind of distress that needs comforting lead to sexual feelings? Curious to see what gets posted here.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Would the kind of distress that needs comforting lead to sexual feelings? Curious to see what gets posted here.

That's what I wanna know!! Come on, SOMEONE has to have had "comfort sex"... right?

Thanks for the movie, gonna go check Netflix now...

 

[Guest]

That's what I wanna know!! Come on, SOMEONE has to have had "comfort sex"... right?

Thanks for the movie, gonna go check Netflix now...

Around here today, there's been tree sex, incest sex, but no comfort sex.

We are a strange lot.

 

[zeb1094]

So you're talking about a pity fuck?

Can't say that I have! Unfortunatly! Sounds like a good way to get laid though!

 

[Selena_Kitt]

So you're talking about a pity fuck?

LOL

I guess you could say that such a masculine perspective... <grin>

I'm talking about a situation where two people are together, one is comforting the other... and suddenly the energy just shifts... does it happen? Is it plausible?

 

[zeb1094]

LOL

I guess you could say that such a masculine perspective... <grin>

I'm talking about a situation where two people are together, one is comforting the other... and suddenly the energy just shifts... does it happen? Is it plausible?

I've heard of it but have never experienced it! Sorry!

Oh and it's always been call a pity fuck or pity sex buy everyone where I grew up and the social circles I ran around in.

 

[MissBri]

 

[MissBri]

 

[Kev H]

Maybe define what you are looking for more accurately. I associate this with "pity sex" on someone's part, because I believe in most cases, "sad, sad" means depressed. No friend will mess with that or find that attractive, even in the depressed person comes onto them (or says "fuck my blues away"); and most depressed people will be loaded. So, I could only see a delicately crafted situation or 2 where this could even happen (otherwise, it's the basic suppressed attraction just using the excuse to bubble to the surface).

My closest experience was when my next door neighbor for the past year took me out for my 21st birthday (with 2-3 of our mutual friend-girls) and i got so loaded. She took me back to her place, gave me 2 more doubleshots of te-kill-ya and watched over me while I puked into her trash can.

Painfully, I pulled myself together the next morning. That afternoon, I remembered pulling my hand on her thigh, and her gently removing it...several times. Knowing her general aloof attitude towards guys (though she professed many casual relationships), I was mortified. I worked up the courage that evening to go over and apologize. That night went from facing her on the couch, being embarassed and asking forgiveness, to being ridden several times - mind blowing sex (for me, anyway - she was my third and the first agressive partner).

But once again, that was just suppressed desire (surprisingly enough as it was); but I have yet to see or hear about a better way to be forgiven.

 

[impressive]

Would the kind of distress that needs comforting lead to sexual feelings? Curious to see what gets posted here.

Grief, definitely.

 

[thambok]

I think it depends on who is doing the comforting.

If it is someone with whom you are already intimate or attracted, then yes, I have been there. There is something wonderful about being in the arms of someone who understands what you are going through, and cares enough about you to be there in your time of need. In my experience, it has been a wonderful bonding moment, full of tenderness.

If it is someone with whom you have NOT been intimate or attracted, I have not been there. Personally, I think its a bit shady. When a person needs comforting and you are the shoulder they come to, they open themselves up and make themselves vulnerable. They put you in a position of trust. Having sex with that person in that moment of need violates that trust, and takes advantage of that moment of weakness.When you are in that position, that person is looking up to you for help, if even for just that moment. That vulnerability can quickly be turned to misplaced feelings of attraction or desire. When that person recovers and feels better, a lot of bad feelings can result from having slept together.

Among female friends, I am often the shoulder they come to for support. While I have had friendships become more afterwards, my answer at the time is always straightforward and honest.

"Every part of me wants to be with you, but I would rather wait until I know that you want to be with me, rather than you just feel vulnerable. I would be honored to hold you throughout the night, but sex is a moment of weakness is a sure way to hurt anything that may one day blossom."

Without fail, those I have comforted thanked me for that. Some became more than friends, some became fuck buddies at a later point, and some just remained friends. In each case, I enjoyed the relationship of trust we shared, more than the potential of a night of sex.

Just my opinion. YMMV. As a story, it changes things. Our writing allows us to do things through our characters that we would never do in person. It can serve as an outlet. Within the context of a story, my honest opinion is that anything goes. But then again, I am a De Sade fan.

 

[Guest]

does it happen? Is it plausible?

If that became the standard for stories here, Lit would number its stories in the tens, not the thousands. You should see that whopper I'm writing today.

 

[SummerMorning]

does it happen? Is it plausible?

Of course it happens! LOL

Sex happens all the time in all kinds of ways. I just hope the last time doesn't leave me with offspring. Just look at population growth!

 

[TheEarl]

I turned down the opportunity to do this a few days back actually. A friend of mine needed an ear and made moves and noises towards kissing me. Unfortunately, she was drunk at the time and I couldn't let myself let her kiss me.

It's a fucker, cause any other situation, I'd be delighted if she did. I'd actually be thrilled if she liked me like that.

Being a nice guy sucks.

The Earl

 

[thambok]

I turned down the opportunity to do this a few days back actually. A friend of mine needed an ear and made moves and noises towards kissing me. Unfortunately, she was drunk at the time and I couldn't let myself let her kiss me.

It's a fucker, cause any other situation, I'd be delighted if she did. I'd actually be thrilled if she liked me like that.

Being a nice guy sucks.

The Earl

It pays off.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

When you are in that position, that person is looking up to you for help, if even for just that moment. That vulnerability can quickly be turned to misplaced feelings of attraction or desire. When that person recovers and feels better, a lot of bad feelings can result from having slept together.

exactly...

gosh, the things I'm willing to do to my poor characters...


I'm even thinking of the comfort-er stopping things near the beginning, after they start getting a little carried away, and telling the comfort-ee that she doesn't want it to be like that... and then they get carried away again...

 

[SummerMorning]

It pays off.

No it doesn't. That's just what the bad guys want you to believe.

 

[SummerMorning]

I'm even thinking of the comfort-er stopping things near the beginning, after they start getting a little carried away, and telling the comfort-ee that she doesn't want it to be like that... and then they get carried away again...

Hmm. That's actually a rather common turn of events.

 

[thambok]

No it doesn't. That's just what the bad guys want you to believe.

Allow me to amend my statement.

It has paid off for me. I have good friends of both sexes. I don't have anyone out there that is wishing for some painful demise to befall me. I am happy with the woman I am with, because I can respect her, and she respects me. I have had amazing experiences, because I have established that I can be trusted.

While it had some rough spots, being a nice guy has absolutely been rewarding to me overall. Its take longer to pay off, but the reward is worth the wait. If for nothing else than the fact that I cna sleep very well at night.

 

[TheEarl]

exactly...

gosh, the things I'm willing to do to my poor characters...


I'm even thinking of the comfort-er stopping things near the beginning, after they start getting a little carried away, and telling the comfort-ee that she doesn't want it to be like that... and then they get carried away again...

From personal experience, I might've been tempted if she'd thoroughly assured me that it was something that she really wanted, either just as a short-term comfort thing, or as a relationship thing. If I'd felt very certain that it was actually something she'd wanted, instead of a 'good-idea-at-the-time', then I might've.

Thamb: I've been a nice guy for 21 years. I have three superlative friends from it, which is a plus. However, romantically speaking, I'm of the opinion that nice guys both cum and finish last. Being a bastard is far more fruitful, even if worse for your karma and conscience.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

No, silly - 2 different things.

Yep, I've taken part... never put a specific name to it before, though. What's it like? Having a sweet fuckbuddy who understands when you're feeling shitty... said pal doing what they can to distract you from your woes and make you feel better. That's my take on the term, anyhow.

How is it different? Gentler, I guess - from my experience. It's more about making you feel better than just having orgasms. Does that make sense?

In that case. I'm sad, I need some comforting.

 

[thambok]

From personal experience, I might've been tempted if she'd thoroughly assured me that it was something that she really wanted, either just as a short-term comfort thing, or as a relationship thing. If I'd felt very certain that it was actually something she'd wanted, instead of a 'good-idea-at-the-time', then I might've.

Thamb: I've been a nice guy for 21 years. I have three superlative friends from it, which is a plus. However, romantically speaking, I'm of the opinion that nice guys both cum and finish last. Being a bastard is far more fruitful, even if worse for your karma and conscience.

The Earl

My experience is that it takes a while for the lovely ladies to realize that the bad boy attraction they keep falling back to is self-destructive. One day, they give the nice guy a try as a lark, and realize what they have been missing.

 

[TheEarl]

My experience is that it takes a while for the lovely ladies to realize that the bad boy attraction they keep falling back to is self-destructive. One day, they give the nice guy a try as a lark, and realize what they have been missing.

It's not actually the bad boy thing; most of the girls I fancy are currently sane enough not to be into that. It's the fact that bastards tend to be chancers as well and thus try their luck when they shouldn't have a snowballs. Plus, they have no morals, so they try their luck when it's not gentlemanly. The nice guys have to watch from the sideline.

Not that I could ever change, I'm just fed up of being told by attached/very very far away girls that they'd have me away if it wasn't for the circs and they can't understand how their gender has left me still single.

The Earl