Come Together!

[Straight-8]

Does simultaneous orgasm exist and how important is it to board members? My wife is a multiple O type of girl (and I wouldn't have it any other way!); so occasionally we get to the same place at the same time; but by then it is her fourth or fifth. If we do come together it isn't planned.

So it isn't something we strive for or that I've ever thought was significant. But I just read that a recent french study found it to be a major issue with about 80% of the respondents. Who'd a thought?

 

[Norajane]

I don't usually come from penetration unless there's a vibe on my clit involved as well, so no, coming together isn't something we do. I suppose we could try to make it happen, but we never bother with it. I'm just happy to have an orgasm!

 

[wicked woman]

I think your attitude is good. If it happens, it's great. If it doesn't, it's still great.

I'd never turn down coming together but frankly I truly enjoy taking in all the nuances when my partner comes...and I can't do that half as well if I'm coming too.

 

[bisexplicit]

Not an issue for me - and I think it only becomes an issue for people if one or the other of the people decide after they cum then they're done with all things sexual and not willing to help their partner orgasm.

 

[eudaemonia]

It generally hasn't been an issue with me, mostly cuz I can kinda of time my climaxes if I want to.

But what bi just posted above is spot on.

 

[Eilan]

Funny that this thread was started, because I was thinking about this recently.

Last week I Googled something about anal sex (I forget the exact phrase I used), and a link to this site came up. (It's a site with a religious bent to it--sorry if it offends anyone.)

This is some of what the site has to say about various sexual behaviors:

About masturbation: Aside from the spiritual reasons we've cited on our masturbation page, there are some biological reasons for not masturbating. Masturbation causes our bodies to become sexually responsive to masturbation instead of the heterosexual stimulation of "normal" sex. For a man, this change in sexual responsiveness affects his ability to be sexually excited by his wife, gain and maintain an erection, restrain himself during sex so he and his wife can reach orgasm together. He is likely to be so "tuned" to himself sexually, that he is unable to give sexual expression to his wife in a loving way. His sexual actions may become totally focused on self-gratification.

About anal: When the "conventional" sex position (face to face) is used, the man and woman are positioned for the ideal amount of stimulation for both partners to experience orgasms simultaneously.

About oral: Oral sex may detract from a couple’s ability to achieve simultaneous orgasm, as one person could climax prematurely due to over stimulation.

I've gotta be honest. I haven't really thought about simultaneous orgasms all that much until recently. My husband and I have done this, but it's not a goal that we're shooting for (so to speak). I'd think that making simultaneous orgasms a goal of sex could have the opposite effect of causing them to not happen at all.

 

[midwestyankee]

Funny that this thread was started, because I was thinking about this recently.

Last week I Googled something about anal sex (I forget the exact phrase I used), and a link to this site came up. (It's a site with a religious bent to it--sorry if it offends anyone.)

This is some of what the site has to say about various sexual behaviors:

About masturbation: Aside from the spiritual reasons we've cited on our masturbation page, there are some biological reasons for not masturbating. Masturbation causes our bodies to become sexually responsive to masturbation instead of the heterosexual stimulation of "normal" sex. For a man, this change in sexual responsiveness affects his ability to be sexually excited by his wife, gain and maintain an erection, restrain himself during sex so he and his wife can reach orgasm together. He is likely to be so "tuned" to himself sexually, that he is unable to give sexual expression to his wife in a loving way. His sexual actions may become totally focused on self-gratification.

About anal: When the "conventional" sex position (face to face) is used, the man and woman are positioned for the ideal amount of stimulation for both partners to experience orgasms simultaneously.

About oral: Oral sex may detract from a couple’s ability to achieve simultaneous orgasm, as one person could climax prematurely due to over stimulation.

I've gotta be honest. I haven't really thought about simultaneous orgasms all that much until recently. My husband and I have done this, but it's not a goal that we're shooting for (so to speak). I'd think that making simultaneous orgasms a goal of sex could have the opposite effect of causing them to not happen at all.

So I would not be a good "Christian" if I did not have simultaneous orgasm with my wife? Damn, and I just thought it was because I didn't believe.

 

[Thermister]

We never plan on it, or really try for it, but when it does happen it's very nice. 98% of the time when she orgasms via intercourse she is on top, the only downside that I can think of is that I love watching her face and body when she cums, if I'm getting off at the same time I usually miss her reactions. For her, feeling my cock spasm inside her as she is having her own spasms is very intense.
Nice when it happens, but it has never worked to try and make it happen.

 

[Bandit58]

I don't think it's possible to time everything exactly right so that both partners climax together I would find it distracting and more than likely I wouldn't be able to orgasm at all. I'd much rather be able to concentrate on either myself or my partner so that we both get the maximum pleasure possible

 

[bisexplicit]

I don't think it's possible to time everything exactly right so that both partners climax together

It actually is possible - through mutual masturbation at least.

 

[Guest]

 

[silverwhisper]

simultaneous orgasm is overrated, IMHO. it's nice and poetic, sure, but IMHO, it only exists in some platonic ideal.

personally, i find the post-coital snuggling more interesting.

ed

 

[midwestyankee]

You can increase your odds by learning how to help your partner become multi-orgasmic.

Oh, and by the way: I wouldn't expect any leprechauns to come out from under the bed and give you a lifetime supply of gold when you make it happen.

 

[TBKahuna123]

OK Eilan, first off STOP POSTING THAT LINK! These are the kind of sites that make all us christians look like closed minded pricks. Fuck that site drives me nuts! Totally counterproductive to the stated goals, but I'm digressing again. Sorry.

As for the topic at hand, yes it does exist. Honestly, I'd say that my wife and I climax together 85% of the time. She's one of those lucky ladies who had a pretty easy time achieving orgasm, and for her it is extremely mentally controlled. She says that she litterally orgasms from feeling me cum inside of her. It doesn't happen everytime of course, but on most occasions it is enough to push her over the top if she is even close. We've discussed this and agree that it's an emotional and mental trigger, not a physical sensation one. I think it's a testament to our emotional connection.

Now that's not to say that couples that don't experience this are any less connected than we are. It's just more a byproduct of her ease in achieving orgasm. I think that Eilan is right, trying to make this a goal does put too much pressure on one partner or the other and can almost guarantee failure.

Now if only I could claim is was the mastery of my technique...

 

[TBKahuna123]

simultaneous orgasm is overrated, IMHO. it's nice and poetic, sure, but IMHO, it only exists in some platonic ideal.

personally, i find the post-coital snuggling more interesting.

ed

Hmm... You know I can honestly say that when I don't really notice when it doesn't happen for us, as opposed to when it does. I don't think it increases or lessens the intensity of the encounter.

Maybe I just take it for granted. I know that until I started hanging out here I didn't realize how much trouble some women have achieving orgasm. I don't take it for granted anymore how lucky my wife is.

 

[Eilan]

OK Eilan, first off STOP POSTING THAT LINK! These are the kind of sites that make all us christians look like closed minded pricks. Fuck that site drives me nuts! Totally counterproductive to the stated goals, but I'm digressing again. Sorry.