Come feel Lasher's Wrath

[Earthgoddess]

Hi Lasher- actually I have no need or desire to feel your vengeful tongue-mmmm-let me think that one over-no, I started this based on a suggestion from you on another thread. Folks who want to be "Lashed" can post here-then at your convienence you can be cruel and witty...Seriously, I think that damn movie,"Eyes Wide Shut" has erased all forms of reason from my brain...Plus I worked a really long shift and I am over-tired. So, Lasher the floor is yours-and to all you masochistic posters here is you chance...Lasher I truly adore your posts and hope that I have not earned a Lashing for this-I blame it on the Nyquil,is that stuff addictive???

 

[Lasher]

LMAO...

Earthgoddess, I spent 2 years of college in an alcohol-free dorm drinking Lime Vodka from a NyQuil bottle and nobody could tell the difference (between the taste and smell of NyQuil and the taste and smell of Lime Vodka, that is). So that should give ya a pretty good idea of what that shit can do.

But I'm game. If anyone has any stupid fucking ideas they wanna post, I'll be more than happy to tell them just how fucking stupid they are.

Or maybe people could copy stupid posts from other threads and post them here and I could tear those fuckers apart without overly offending the more sensitive among us - although I have no idea how that would be any fun, LOL.

Thanks for thinking of me, and I'm glad you enjoy my posts.

Let the beatings begin!!

 

[Isabella Thorne]

ohhhh sweet Earthgoddess ... did someone mention a tongue lashing .. sounds delicious ...

now i just hope i didn't offend the lasher too too much earlier tonight with all my spanking talk. i guess you're right lasher .. maybe i'm just too naive .. when women aren't around .. you men become bickering children .. now with women .. well we don't do that so much

 

[SimplySouthern]

Give it to me good!

I have been waiting on my tongue lashing from Lasher from day one and through the 200 + of my posts. I am certainly to be first. C'mon Lasher surely you have SOMETHING you dislike about me. I do defend criminals for a living. I am blonde.

Hit me with your best shot, baby!

*Supersadomasochisticsexpialidocious*

 

[Deborah]

C'mon Lasher, do it! Make this southern fried chicken cry!

 

[SimplySouthern]

Deborah....have at it if you like as well, hon. I can take it. Be mean to me...I like it!

 

[Deborah]

SS, you said on some thread, I don't remember which one, that I scare you and Lasher could make you cry. Well, I'm not that scary, at least not during the day, but I bet I can make you cry. A little wager, 'eh?

 

[Lasher]

Jeez... Could this be "performance anxiety"??....

Well, ok. I'd really, really hate to piss Deborah off by not at least taking a shot at this... So....

Well, the whole thing with you and Isabella and Freya shoulda gone to IMs or something a long fucking time ago... Just how much damn foreplay do you girls need??? I'm mean, really, you girls just keep yakin' and yakin' and yakin' and at some point you just need to shut up and take care of business!! Jeez....

OH!! And the PSLs for the Carolina Panthers... What's up with that? I can understand wanting to support the home team and all.. but spending money to watch a team that fucking bad play football I just don't get. It's not like Rae Carruth is gonna shoot one of his girlfriends at half time or something.

Ummm..how's that?

 

[Lasher]

Ohh, and btw...

Don't fuck with Deborah. I'm just some pissy little ranter, but Deborah is without a doubt a "scary psycho bitch" (and I mean that with all the Love and Respect it deserves, Deborah).

 

[SimplySouthern]

Just didn't give me that warm fuzzy feeling I was looking for. I didn't feel the anger. I think it was performace anxiety.

Deborah ~ I don't cry easily....but if it makes you feel better go for it. Whip me, beat me, make me write bad checks!

 

[Lasher]

Yep, you're right...

Sounds like it was written by fucking Jerry Seinfeld. I'm never gonna live that down.

 

[SimplySouthern]

Neener Neener Neener

Now we all know that when the heat is on...Lasher can't perform.

*wondering to herself if he's this way with EVERYTHING?*

Just teasing ya...you had your chance at me!

 

[Lasher]

Dammit....

I guess I just don't not like you....

 

[SimplySouthern]

I do believe thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

*getting that warm mushy feeling*

Pardon me, wouldn't want to get too into this outside of IMs and give you something else to go on about in your little Seinfield-esque way.

 

[Deborah]

SS, not only am I gonna make you cry, I'm gonna make Lasher cry, and if he cries, then I know you cried too. I just can't do it this very moment though, because it's midnight and I like have to, well, go out and take care of business.

So you two stay tuned! I can see the tears flowing! Just don't get too choked up, Lasher (easy on the apples).

 

[Lasher]

Great....

People are calling me "Seinfeld-esque"....

Deborah is going to make me cry...

I might as well just go fucking kill myself right now!

 

[Deborah]

Oh yeah, and I'm gonna make Gingersnatch cry too. Larry, Curly and Moe go boo hoo! I really have to go now. The sun comes up early these days.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

ooohhhh yes I want to be Elaine .. would that make me elaine-"esque" maybe right? no no Dryfesse"-esque" .. that would be right .. hey it just doesn't sound the same .. i like elaine-"esque" better

 

[Guest]

The French People Heart Lasher...

I don't WANT to feel Lasher's wrath. You can't MAKE me feel it. I'm sure Guru Lash doesn't want me feeling his wrath, anyway.

Originally posted by Monsieur Le Singe in 'Emotional Music':

Bonjour, Monsieur Lasher99. Ca va? J'habite dans le Nord de France et je pense que votre mots et tres ammusement.

Tu est un heros de les gens Francais. Oui, Lasher - nous t'adore.

Nous boire un bier pour tu et nous a dit: "LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!!
LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!!
LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!!
LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!!
LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!!

Ok, I've had some of the lab boys take a look at this. It's written in very bad French and roughly translates as:

Hello, Mr Lasher99. How are you? I live in the North of France and I think that your words are very amusing.

You are a hero of the French people. Yes, Lasher - we adore you.

We drink a beer for you and we say: "LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!!
LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!!
LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!!
LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!!
LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!! LASHER!!!


Sorry to interupt all the fun. On with the Lashing, I say.

Oh, yeah. Deborator - I paid you all that money and you didn't make me cry once. I think I should get some kind of refund.

roger




[Edited by Roger Simian on 07-03-2000 at 08:51 AM]

 

[Earthgoddess]

MMM I've got that warm fuzzy Lasher feeling-or its the Nyquil

Well I am blaming the NyQuil they tell you to only take it for a week but I am still coughing at night,so I keep taking it. Weeks later am still taking NyQuil and still coughing,I realize that most people would have sought medical help-but I am stubbornly refusing as I only cough when I lay down. I think I will start taking Lime Vodka-thank you oh Holy Guru for the medical advice,hope you folks are having fun...coughing fits beginning must find Vodka-would Stoli's with a lime popsicle count???

 

[Gingersnap]

Deborah don't come fucking with me honey. You just don't want to go there with me. I may be blonde and I may be sweet but I lived on the street at fifteen and survived.
You are a very intelligent and funny woman but then so am I.

 

[Gingersnap]

One last thing Deborah and it's important. Honey you know I love you.

 

[Deborah]

I know you love me, Gingersnap. I love you too!

Well, I'll just tell you and SimplySouthern what I was giggling about and what all this crying is about. I wrote a sequel to "Roger that, Scotsquatch" entitled "Where's MY Roger?" It hasn't been posted yet. Guess who it stars?
You and SS and Endlessly! And of course, Roger, and just doesn't he love being the center of attention?

Now, I suppose it's somewhat rude to put somebody in a story without asking them, but you guys seem so fun loving and hip I didn't think you'd mind. You don't do you? If you do, I'll ask Laurel not to post it. I don't particularly like to piss off people I like. Just no fun. But I swear, the story is funny. It made ME cry!

If I were to write a story about Flagg and Lasher I would never even think of asking them first. In fact, I think I will write a story about them. They get involved in this genetic experimentation thang as a result of their debate about heath care. They both get turned into women. Flagg is so ugly the only ones "she" can get to fuck "her" are dogs. "Her" greatest dilemma is which breed. Now Lasher, "she" gets turned into the world's most beautiful woman. "Her" greatest dilemma is whether to have sex with men or women.

Am I sick or what?

 

[Flagg]

I think she loves me

Its really reassuring to know that I spend so much time in your thoughts deborah.

 

[Gingersnap]

Deborah it sounds like a great sequel and I can't wait till it is on the board. As for Flagg I know he will pick a english wolfhound... Flagg sweetie I know we haven't been formally introduced so a BIG AMERICAN HOWDY!!!! You really do make me laugh and I look forward to pushing your buttons and generally driving you nutty. Your posts are interesting and I do appreciate both the thought and wit. As for the SS girl she is still at that enthusiastic phase and will slow down soon. I'm sure crystal had her perky days too. Oh and I am just guessing here but think Lasher will end up fucking himself while making a video of the whole event. He will be completely taken with the opportunity to self explore and know at last the wonderful and limitless sexual
pleasure of being a woman. Neener Neener Neener