Colleen Thomas Memorial Thread

[Matadore]

Colly's Day

Any thoughts on that?

It is a good thought. Would her birthday be any more appropriate? It might be a more joyful time.

I think that I read somewhere in the forum the idea of a contest in her honor. If my memory serves, the suggestion was also to bestow some sort of award such as New Author of the Year on the recipient.

This is the type of thing that creates community in a group.

Thanks Mel for your thoughtfullness. Please don't be a "stranger" to this place.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I made it onto the board
I am melissa I feel kind of strange but I just wanted to post a note to say thank you for all of your well wishes and warm thoughts. I hope what I have written will give all of you some help with closer. I wish all of you well and God BLess

Hello Mel and welcome to the AH, you're family now. Please feel free to stop by Abstrusions when you feel up to it, Colly held court there in the corner booth. I had her coffee cup bronzed.
Abs.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

It is a good thought. Would her birthday be any more appropriate? It might be a more joyful time.

I think that I read somewhere in the forum the idea of a contest in her honor. If my memory serves, the suggestion was also to bestow some sort of award such as New Author of the Year on the recipient.

This is the type of thing that creates community in a group.

Thanks Mel for your thoughtfullness. Please don't be a "stranger" to this place.

It's a better idea, actually, to do it on her birthday. Definitely a happier occasion. Thanks for suggesting it.

 

[Anniejustagirl]

Whenever you dance, wherever you dance, dance to heal the earth!

Dancing is power. Dancing is prayer. Some say that all is dance. Maybe. Now there's a big dance coming, a dance to heal the earth. If you're reading this, you're probably part of it. You take part whenever you do whatever you do to help heal the earth. When you recycle. When you choose to show love, to fight for justice, to bring healing, to bring out what is good in others. When you avoid cruelty and dishonesty and waste. When you are outraged. When you speak out. When you give. When you consider the generations to come. When you protest to the oppressors and encourage those who feel the cutting edge of injustice. And, of course, when you dance. There is a tree that all the prophets see, and whenever you let your love show, you make the flowers grow.

Soon this dance will be done in a big way, in the old way, on sacred ground. All living things will take part. If you want to, you can take part. No one is twisting your arm. You can stop any time you need to, and start up again whenever you're ready. If you've read this far, you probably know what I'm talking about. You've probably been doing it in one way or another for a good while. Soon will be the time to make no bones about it! Cut loose!

Anytime you dance, anywhere, whether at a party or in church, dance to heal the earth! Let your feet beat a healing rhythm into the earth. Let your feet beat a strengthening rhythm for those who struggle the hardest. Let your feet beat a life-giving rhythm for all peoples, regardless of race or national boundary, regardless of whether we're human or whether we're the trees, the air, the fish, the birds, the buffalo, the bear, the crow. We come out of hiding, we come back from the dead, and we dance, and our dance is a prayer, and our songs and our rhythms and our breath give life.

Is the music they're playing some mindless jingle? Never mind, as long as it's not bad music, and you can dance to the beat! Make your own words, and make the words a prayer. A prayer for the end of exploitation, a prayer for the end of lies, a prayer for healing, for justice, for life. Remember your prayer-song, feed it and let it get strong and pass it along. Dance and pray, whenever you dance, dance to heal the earth.

Dance to heal the earth. Not just when you're dancing, but always. Live the dance, whenever you move, in all you do, dance to heal the earth.

Dance to Heal the Earth ~ Dee Smith

i love to dance.... the above is something i strongly believe in... for me... there is so much of Colly in there... and from now on... when i dance.... i have yet another dancer with me.... all those that i've lost, dance with me. i miss you Colly.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I am still reading all the wonderful things and thank you for such a warm welcome

Of course it's fear of exhausting you, not lack of material, that limits it even to this much. If we all said every wonderful thing we knew about Colleen, it would be a life's work to read it.

It's been beautiful to me, how many times in the last few days - and almost always in private, in quiet little asides - I have heard people mention some change that they have undertaken or some effort they have made because Colleen inspired them. It touches me to see her living on in others, and so many others, in so many ways - always bringing out the best in each person.

Shanglan

 

[raphy]

I'm sure this will come as no surprise, but colly made friends everywhere she went.

Another memorial thread:

http://forums.star-fury.com/thread.php?tid=11317&start=0

 

[Honey123]

I've just had an e-mail from Melissa, where she has written down what happened to Colly. I'm copying it here, in its entirety, with no amendments.

Colly and I were getting furniture from he basement and getting things really for the tag sale. We had decided to move into smaller housing so I could retire early. She had walked into the kitchen and she said her back hurt. So I told her to take a shower to help lose up her back because I thought she had pulled a muscle. As I walk into the bathroom to start her shower she said that she felt like someone bunched her in her chest, and her back teeth hurt. I knew then something was wrong so I gave her aspirins and called 911. She laid down and the ambulance came with in a min or two. She was still talking and walked to the ambulance. She was in pain but doing better. I went into the ambulance with her and she was not alone. She had a grand mal seizure and her heart stoped. On the top of the mountain going to the hospital and got the parametric unit. They worked on Colly until we got to the hospital. She got into the hospital and the Dr. worked on her for a while and they called her death at 12:05 PM. She told me she had chest pain at 11:30 am. She was not alone I was with her all the way I stayed with her through it all. I never left her side. I hope this helps all of you get some closer. Please understand that this is very mechanical but that has been the only way to deal with things. God Bless Mel

Mel, thank you for taking the time to tell us this, and for reliving it, merely to ease our grieving.

Melissa, my heart goes out to you. I wish I could hug you and comfort you in this time.

Colly is a beautiful person and will remain with us forever...

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Of course it's fear of exhausting you, not lack of material, that limits it even to this much. If we all said every wonderful thing we knew about Colleen, it would be a life's work to read it.

It's been beautiful to me, how many times in the last few days - and almost always in private, in quiet little asides - I have heard people mention some change that they have undertaken or some effort they have made because Colleen inspired them. It touches me to see her living on in others, and so many others, in so many ways - always bringing out the best in each person.

Shanglan

Regarding fear of exhausting Melissa: I think I'm correct in saying, Overcome the fear. Say it all.

Since Colly's death my one real enemy on Lit has made amends to me, and we are reconciled. I'm very sure the two events are related. In addition, I have reached out to make friends with several individuals I was a stranger to before, and several others have done the same to me. I have a feeling that many others here could tell similar stories.

Colleen was a unique and extraordinary person who had a deep and positive impact on everyone she came in contact with, no matter how breifly. We are better people for having known her. She made us better.

 

[dizzylia]

I have never met a person who did not at least respect Colly and what she had to say, but I think many more of us sat at or near the Adoration end of that spectrum.

The incredible strength of character that takes is one in a million. Colleen Thomas fits that bill more than anyone else I've ever met. I think she is a true inspiration to all of us. I only hope we can live up to that.

 

[LadyCibelle]

Who she was to me:

Sigh, I never thought it would be so hard to write who Colly was to me. I’ve never been really active her on the AH and I didn’t think I had the right to grieve for her…..

I discovered Colly’s work several months ago when she posted a thread, or wrote in one, about something along the line of “should a writer be responsible for his word?” because a young girl after reading her (Colly’s stories) had written her saying she (that young girl) had discovered she was a lesbian and wanted to act on it. Colly was really worried about the impact of her words on that girl and was wondering if she should feel responsible for what that girl would or would not do with this newfound knowledge of her. I knew Ms Thomas, as I used to call her, from all the posts of her I had read on the AH, lurking for 4 years gave me a bank of knowledge, but had never read anything of her before.

That post of her, made me wonder and a bit curious. Now, please, don’t judge me too harshly before I’m done okay? I had never before read or edited any lesbian stories; I started reading her story “Rebirth” and was impressed by the quality of her writing and how well she was able to grab me in her thrall.

So, I wrote her. Telling her exactly that, that I had never read or edited any lesbian stories as not being a lesbian or not even having any bi tendencies I had always said I didn’t understand how two women could love each other that way; even if I had lesbian and gay friends I couldn’t understand it…..BUT…..after reading that story and a couple more of hers that I understood now. I understood it had nothing to do with the sex of the participants and everything to do with love….pure and simple LOVE. I thanked her for making me see and understand that simple truth and ended my mail saying I would keep reading her stories and she had gained a new fan.

I certainly wasn’t expecting a response as rereading myself I was sure she would be insulted by what I had said and would trash my mail without a second though……it didn’t happen this way. A few days after I sent her my mail I received an email from her thanking ME for the nice thing I had said. She followed by saying that she had heard lots of praises of her work but that my mail had really touched her as I had taken the time to plunge into something that, clearly, wasn’t my forte to understand where she was coming from.

I could have fallen off my chair when I received that email. She was thanking ME, me who had made a fool of myself and told her that before I couldn’t stand and was grossed out by lesbian stories, she was thanking me for sending her an email and telling her I now understood. I was confused, but more importantly, I was so ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I hadn’t understood before and that it had needed her stories to open my eyes.

I couldn’t believe how gracious and understanding she was. She didn’t judge me, she didn’t kick my ass, she didn’t even call me names….she thanked me!
Sigh……Saturday when I came online, I was looking for a post from her….I wanted to tell her……fuck it’s so hard……I wanted to tell her……tell her that the week before I had edited my first lesbian story and even though it wasn’t the quality of her writing that I still understood…..that I understood it was all about love.

What I got instead was Rob’s post about Colly’s death…..and now….now I’ll be never be able to tell her……..I’ll never be able to say that thanks to her I was a better person and a better editor…..I’ll never be able to thank her.

That's who Colly was to me.....and it hurts to know she's gone.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Lady C, you've expressed such beauty over your Colly experience, we thank you.

 

[matriarch]

Who she was to me:

Sigh, I never thought it would be so hard to write who Colly was to me. I’ve never been really active her on the AH and I didn’t think I had the right to grieve for her…..

I discovered Colly’s work several months ago when she posted a thread, or wrote in one, about something along the line of “should a writer be responsible for his word?” because a young girl after reading her (Colly’s stories) had written her saying she (that young girl) had discovered she was a lesbian and wanted to act on it. Colly was really worried about the impact of her words on that girl and was wondering if she should feel responsible for what that girl would or would not do with this newfound knowledge of her. I knew Ms Thomas, as I used to call her, from all the posts of her I had read on the AH, lurking for 4 years gave me a bank of knowledge, but had never read anything of her before.

That post of her, made me wonder and a bit curious. Now, please, don’t judge me too harshly before I’m done okay? I had never before read or edited any lesbian stories; I started reading her story “Rebirth” and was impressed by the quality of her writing and how well she was able to grab me in her thrall.

So, I wrote her. Telling her exactly that, that I had never read or edited any lesbian stories as not being a lesbian or not even having any bi tendencies I had always said I didn’t understand how two women could love each other that way; even if I had lesbian and gay friends I couldn’t understand it…..BUT…..after reading that story and a couple more of hers that I understood now. I understood it had nothing to do with the sex of the participants and everything to do with love….pure and simple LOVE. I thanked her for making me see and understand that simple truth and ended my mail saying I would keep reading her stories and she had gained a new fan.

I certainly wasn’t expecting a response as rereading myself I was sure she would be insulted by what I had said and would trash my mail without a second though……it didn’t happen this way. A few days after I sent her my mail I received an email from her thanking ME for the nice thing I had said. She followed by saying that she had heard lots of praises of her work but that my mail had really touched her as I had taken the time to plunge into something that, clearly, wasn’t my forte to understand where she was coming from.

I could have fallen off my chair when I received that email. She was thanking ME, me who had made a fool of myself and told her that before I couldn’t stand and was grossed out by lesbian stories, she was thanking me for sending her an email and telling her I now understood. I was confused, but more importantly, I was so ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I hadn’t understood before and that it had needed her stories to open my eyes.

I couldn’t believe how gracious and understanding she was. She didn’t judge me, she didn’t kick my ass, she didn’t even call me names….she thanked me!
Sigh……Saturday when I came online, I was looking for a post from her….I wanted to tell her……fuck it’s so hard……I wanted to tell her……tell her that the week before I had edited my first lesbian story and even though it wasn’t the quality of her writing that I still understood…..that I understood it was all about love.

What I got instead was Rob’s post about Colly’s death…..and now….now I’ll be never be able to tell her……..I’ll never be able to say that thanks to her I was a better person and a better editor…..I’ll never be able to thank her.

That's who Colly was to me.....and it hurts to know she's gone.

A beautiful experience Lady, and beautifully and sensitively told. Thank you.
One more experience of just how much Colly touched all of our lives.

 

[minsue]

Lady C, you've expressed such beauty over your Colly experience, we thank you.

Agreed.

 

[Guest]

bump

 

[meekomn]

Hi all
I have been reading the posts. I would like Colly's birthday and not her date of death remembered. Oh the back of her memory cards I had this printed

Do not stand by my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not Sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am the sunshine on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awake in the morning hush
I am swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft star shine at night
DO not stand by my grave and cry
I am not there
I did not die
Her life began at birth and thats how I want all her things to be represented
a birth a new thought idea
She always made people think and really look at what they were thinking.
Thats how her memeory should stand.
I hope I have not angered anyone but that is how I feel about it. Mel

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Hi all
I have been reading the posts. I would like Colly's birthday and not her date of death remembered. Oh the back of her memory cards I had this printed

Do not stand by my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not Sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am the sunshine on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awake in the morning hush
I am swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft star shine at night
DO not stand by my grave and cry
I am not there
I did not die
Her life began at birth and thats how I want all her things to be represented
a birth a new thought idea
She always made people think and really look at what they were thinking.
Thats how her memeory should stand.
I hope I have not angered anyone but that is how I feel about it. Mel

 

[whispering_surrender]

You wouldn't anger us Mel. You were closest to her, and you deserve to have a say in how the memorial is done. Don't be shy to express your wishes hun. Everyone here just wants to support you and care.

Whisp

 

[hugo_sam]

Hi all
I have been reading the posts. I would like Colly's birthday and not her date of death remembered. Oh the back of her memory cards I had this printed

Do not stand by my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not Sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am the sunshine on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awake in the morning hush
I am swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft star shine at night
DO not stand by my grave and cry
I am not there
I did not die
Her life began at birth and thats how I want all her things to be represented
a birth a new thought idea
She always made people think and really look at what they were thinking.
Thats how her memeory should stand.
I hope I have not angered anyone but that is how I feel about it. Mel

What caring and great thoughts for her memory card. Thank you Mel for keeping in touch and letting us know what is going on. You are so kind to do so even though your grief is so near.



Hugo

 

[meekomn]

Thank you for understanding she would have wanted something postive to come out of this

 

[minsue]

You wouldn't anger us Mel. You were closest to her, and you deserve to have a say in how the memorial is done. Don't be shy to express your wishes hun. Everyone here just wants to support you and care.

Whisp

Exactly

 

[matriarch]

Beautiful words Mel, thank you for sharing them with us.

From henceforth, I can see that December 30th will become Colleen Thomas Day here on Lit. A truly fitting memorial for a beautiful person.

 

[meekomn]

Thank you Mel

 

[BlackShanglan]

Beautiful words Mel, thank you for sharing them with us.

From henceforth, I can see that December 30th will become Colleen Thomas Day here on Lit. A truly fitting memorial for a beautiful person.

It's the perfect day for it as well - right at the end of the old year and the beginning of the new, when we all look to the future to see what we will make of ourselves. Good to think of her inspiration then.

Shanglan

 

[dizzylia]

An absolutely perfect fit, Mel. Thank you so much for sharing that.


And I think it's safe to say she'll be remembered all 365 days.


-dizzy

 

[MissBri]