Colleen Thomas Memorial Thread

[Aurora Black]

Colly writing about death in dark science fiction

The Earl

Quality of Life was a masterpiece. Hell, they all were.

 

[Guest]

When I came heavily into the AH last october after having my heart and my leg broken she PMed me telling me that it was gonna be okay and that she was there to listen if I needed her.

I had seen her and thought..... wow... you are beautiful... inside and out... i have read many of her stories, watched how she worked, she was just so amazing

I had been looking forward to seeing her story on the Women in Time chain.... who knows maybe she submitted her story already and in a few weeks it will come out... I don't know... I can only hope

I miss you Colly.... I miss you more then you know and more then I can express

 

[matriarch]

Colly was simply, Colly.
I loved her, I still love her, and always will.
There was, is and never will be anyone like her.
I have revelled and delighted in her deep friendship for the last 3 years.
When I found her stories on another site, I was so impressed at how much she and her work stood out from the rest, and wrote to her. She wrote back to me the next day, and it was the start of a wonderful friendship, full of laughter, wit, flirting, tears and support.

It was she who, having been subjected to some of my poetry persuaded me (she was not easy to resist in full flow, as we all know) to try a story. There was no way I could refuse, so I wrote it, and having read it, insisted that I post it here on Lit. I did so, and the rest is history. She brought out the writer in me, she cajoled, 'patted me on the back', stroked my ego, and became an integral part of my life - writing and personal.

Her next target was to entice me onto the boards here at Lit,and that took a little longer....a year in fact, but she succeeded (with help from Lucky), and I thank her from the bottom of my heart for her effort. That one act changed my life beyond all recognition and allowed me to become.....me.....not to mention introducing me to the love of my life.

I couldnever thank her enough for what she did for me, and for the richness she brought to my life.

Colly, beloved friend, you will never be forgotten. You burn brightly in my heart and my memories.

 

[Guest]

PM to Laurel

Laurel,

As you may or may not know... it was confirmed that on May 26 Colleen Thomas passed away.

I was wondering if there was maybe something that you could post on the main page of Lit in rememberance of her. She was an amazing writer... and a friend to so many of us.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Elizabetht

 

[impressive]

Laurel,

As you may or may not know... it was confirmed that on May 26 Colleen Thomas passed away.

I was wondering if there was maybe something that you could post on the main page of Lit in rememberance of her. She was an amazing writer... and a friend to so many of us.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Elizabetht

I did the same a few hours ago.

 

[Softouch911]

She was one of the first to welcome me, one of the first to PM with an answer to a newbie question, one of the first to laugh at me when I stuck my foot in my mouth, and went out of her way to express her regret when my life turned into turmoil. She was a sweetheart for us all and the little hole that opened up when I saw this thread won't close for some time.

Thank you for the thread.

ST

 

[Belegon]

Colly and I had many long exchanges...I was blessed to help her with stories and she helped me. She actually credited me on one.

She edited for me. She laughed with me. We shared observations and frustrations. We bored our friends by talking sports trash in the middle of Abs' joint.

We both rooted for teams with a history of almost making it all the way and falling just short.

I will have to root for your Cubs to win a World Series now, mon ami. But I hope you'll excuse me if I wish the Pads win one first.

Of course, you'd understand that too....

 

[mlady_france]

I think she was the first to greet a lot of us. The first to answer a question and usually the first to hand out advice. Tho I didn't know her well, I always felt welcomed by her. . . .

 

[TheEarl]

I remember the debate on Depleted Uranium rounds being used in Iraq. I was initially against it and couldn't understand how anyone could be for. She skillfully debated the point, applying her vast knowledge and language ability to explaining and promoting her point of view. Such was her skill that, by the end of it, I was arguing on her side.

Very few people could do that in so charged a debate.

The Earl

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Her last posted words on Lit:" ... peace and love and forgiveness."

 

[Guest]

Colleen was one of the sweetest and most generous people that I have met here in the AH. She was a treasure amidst treasures. Someone who went through the pain that she did and could still reach out with her words and her stories and make a young writer more comfortable in her own skin is truly a person to be honored and remembered with more than just a fond note.

Colly was an amazing writer, a wonderful debater, an intellectual with a heart of gold and the eye of an artist. She managed to make people feel special with just a few words, and thought of others so much more than she ever did of herself.

She will truly be missed. My thoughts and prayers go out to her family and to all of us here who have lost such a wonderful person.

 

[joeys-game]

Her last posted words on Lit:" ... peace and love and forgiveness."

That is just so Colleen

 

[Nirvanadragones]

That is just so Colleen

Which made me start crying all over again

 

[Stella_Omega]

I used to laugh helplessly and walk away from debates, when Colly stepped in.

I LOVE the way she would get so angry at us when we talked about the Republican's trashing of civil rights. She would complain that we tarred ALL of the GOP with the same brush, and she was an example of some of the rest of it. That's when she would get personal, untill a few apologies had been made and the debate would get back on track again.

That her party was denying her her freedoms only made her more determined than ever to change it from the inside- somehow.

It's a very commendable idea. Suppose we got everyone to change their affiliation, and flip the Republican demographics? In memory of Colleen Thomas?

Nah... just a pipe dream...

 

[TheEarl]

Which made me start crying all over again

Ditto.

The Earl

 

[arienette]

I found out yesterday, like many others and have not had the words and all I can think about is how whenever she would see me here, I'd immediately get hugs and images of that leg...and now I suppose all I can say is she was one of the few that always treated people like they were actual people - not just AVs and names on a webpage.

You will be dearly missed, my sweet.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

So many people think of online friendships as not being "real" but to see the outpouring of love for someone we have not met is as real as anything. Being here gave Colly the chance to be with people she may not have normally been able to do. We were her family and she was ours. She was free to be herself here and we were all the better for having the chance to be with her.

 

[Aurora Black]

So many people think of online friendships as not being "real" but to see the outpouring of love for someone we have not met is as real as anything. Being here gave Colly the chance to be with people she may not have normally been able to do. We were her family and she was ours. She was free to be herself here and we were all the better for having the chance to be with her.

When there's a strong connection between people, the medium is of no consequence.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Asking for words now seems impossible. Seeing the news on the forum, it's...I'm sure you all know. The worst of it is, I remember back a few days ago when the "where's Colly" threads were popping up, I remember thinking rather impassively, "what if she's dead?"

And now she is.

That fact strikes hard. In all my life only one other incident has struck as hard. It also occured this time of the year. I somehow doubt I will ever be able to face late spring/early summer happily ever again. It seems the greatest tragedies lie in wait for this time. The best people stricken from the Earth. What I feel I have felt before. I didn't like it that time either.

Colly wasn't a close friend for me. We were friends, but I never took the time to develop the close and personal rapport that so many of you were able to develop. Some days I tried, but in the end, all I managed was our awkward sort of friendship. Still, I'm grateful for that.

To me, Colly wasn't just a great writer, a good friend, a wise and intelligent woman, she was far more. She was so intelligent, so fair and kind and thick-skinned, and so filled with unconquerable honour that all the respect I had to give wasn't enough. It is not enough to say I respected her. That would imply some sort of kinship. I was a worm giving respects unto a goddess. She was a shining light of example and more than once nudged me back to the right path.

In the political threads she was uncanny. I'd like to believe I never truly fought with her. We both shared an obsession for the truth and defending what you believe until evidence proves you wrong. I can't recall how many threads I would waste countless breaths and then see Colly accomplish all I had hoped to do with a few quick taps. When I was wrong, she'd point me out and I'd embarrassingly go "nevermind". I loved that most about her. She loved the truth.

I just went through all my PMs with her. As I said earlier, we never were able to become close friends, but we had a friendship nonetheless. They were all of the same type. It was all respect. Not just down the one way street of me to her, the near fawning of a little boy, but rather those times where in I earned her respect.

They stressed me out really. It boggled the mind so very fiercly that I would often in posting something, especially when I devolved into the emotional or the personal, begin to fret and panic over whether I just lost that little spark of respect. The respect of someone you respect that much, who has that much of a hold over you, is quite rather a drug. I hope I still had it when she went. I hope I still have it today and I hope I never irreparably screw it up. I know like her predecessor, she'll influence my life for a long time to come.

I'm sure you all know the power she had over this community, the way she shaped it and touched all our lives. She considered us her family and I for one definitely hope I was worthy of that title. I know her death touched as deeply as a family member's. We're all walking shell shocked along the wreckage of our former homes wondering when the eclipse will end and we can joke about republican sex toys without thinking of her.

In my unfinishable novel, I wrote a character loosely based on her. I will finish that novel if it kills me. I owe her that much. And perhaps we should look into letting her novel see the light of day. It deserves that much too. She was such a great writer, she was such a great person.

Indeed, what I will remember most will be her honour. She had honour like Atticus Finch had honour. She never gave up even when all life seemed to be handing her was pain. She always stood by her principles and beliefs. She stood up for what she believed and reminded everyone the good things about the South and Republicans even when the rest of its members seemed desperate to make the rest of the world hate them. She held her anger far longer than anyone should and yet she didn't lose her intelligence when she finally did snap. She kept true to who she was. She retained her honour against all odds. She refused to believe it as lie or to lament its slow demise.

We both believe in eternal justice, so I know she's off where she is getting the reward for the life she had, for the values she kept against all odds, and for the person she was and which nuclear strikes couldn't change. I know I'll be trying my hardest to make it there too and I doubt I'll be the only one. We miss you Colly, but we'll see you again, someday and hopefully you'll keep your legs so we can find you.

 

[Aurora Black]

To One Departed
Edgar Allan Poe

Seraph! Thy memory is to me
Like some enchanted far-off isle
In some tumultuous sea -
Some ocean vexed as it may be
With storms; but where, meanwhile,
Serenest skies continually
Just o'er that one bright island smile.

For 'mid the earnest cares and woes
That crowd around my earthly path,
(Sad path, alas, where grows
Not even one lonely rose!)
My soul at least a solace hath
In dreams of thee; and therein knows
An Eden of bland repose.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Sometimes the words won't come. The flash of inspiration drowns in the dark waters of hesitancy, indecision and self doubt. At various times in my writing career, I have sought out the works of others, drawing from their eloquence the spark of new inspiration. I often find myself returning to this work. In its simplicity and stark humaness I find the power of words to move emotion time and again.

Thank you rumps.

-Colly

==

Colly left that as a PC on one of my stories here at Lit. It's typical of her kind, nurturing, generous instincts and is something I'll always treasure. I only hope she understood/understands how important a role she played in the lives of those of us lucky enough to have known her.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[CharleyH]

Thanks for posting an in memorium

Colly was one of the first among others I met at the AH, and boy what a shy girl she was when I first met her, yet kind-hearted and with a quick humour that I loved instantly. Ironically enough, she was one of the only people I knew on the AH who used her real name, despite that she was, in my experience, somewhat private and shy. In fact, I once asked her why she used her real name on the AH, and she articulated humorously that when she first signed up to Lit she didn’t know anyone else actually used nom-de-plumes on boards. I laughed with her, and of course, I ribbed her, "What? Penishead didn't give it away?" Yet, one thing about Colly is that she maintained an admirable and genuine realness throughout the time I knew her online.

We talked in IM a bit over the years, and last year I challenged her to submit a story to a place I knew would love her writing as much as I have. Of course, the maximum word requirement was something like 2,500. We both chuckled how it might be impossible for her to meet the challenge since it took 2,500 words just to give us background, let alone introduce us to one of her characters! lol

Aside from all of this, what I recall most are much more personal experiences, yet there is something that stands out to me that I’d like to share and that some of you may recall. It was a moment when a group of AHers were posting photos of ourselves and it was at least a couple of years ago. I recall the wooden floor in her apartment, her black nylons and skirt and I particularly remember her face - her demure smile and hair (she called it red, I said it was auburn) lulling over her one eye, almost metaphorically giving away the shy beauty she possessed. Today, I have been lingering on her smile in that photo – in my memory - and on her complete beauty both inner and out.

 

[TheEarl]

Sometimes the words won't come. The flash of inspiration drowns in the dark waters of hesitancy, indecision and self doubt. At various times in my writing career, I have sought out the works of others, drawing from their eloquence the spark of new inspiration. I often find myself returning to this work. In its simplicity and stark humaness I find the power of words to move emotion time and again.

Thank you rumps.

-Colly

==

Colly left that as a PC on one of my stories here at Lit. It's typical of her kind, nurturing, generous instincts and is something I'll always treasure. I only hope she understood/understands how important a role she played in the lives of those of us lucky enough to have known her.

Rumple Foreskin

Thank you so much Rumple. I hadn't thought to check my PCs and I've just found a note from her.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

just found out that a member of our community passed away. it doesnt seem real that our colly is gone. too many thoughts...not enough words.

 

[minsue]

It is simply not possible to put into words all that Colly did for me and meant to me. Instead, the apologies that I owe her. I have nowhere to send them now.

I let Colly down, time and time again over the past few months. Wrapped up in my own world, happier than I've ever been in my life, I wasn't there for her. Ever.

Every few weeks, a PM would appear in my box from Colly asking how I've been and telling me how much she missed me. Telling me how down she had been, how hard things had been, and how she missed the little messages I used to send to cheer her up. Every time I would reply with an apology, an excuse for my absence, and an empty promise to be around more when [fill in the blank here] was done. When we got to England. When we got back to Arizona. When we got the wireless set up. Etc, etc.

The last PM exchange we had was the same, me telling Colly that I'd be there for her and be a better friend once we got back to AZ. But she'd already gone before we got back. Before I had the chance, whether to do right by her or, more likely, to let her down again.

To the myriad of things I learned from Colly I will now be adding the lesson to be there for my friends and loved ones right then, when they need it, before it's too late.

Colly, beautiful, I'm so unbelievably sorry.