Coffee Spill Time

[neonlyte]

A man escapes from prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses on the neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants nookie, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us.

Be strong, honey. I love you." To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you, too.

 

[Guest]

*grin*

(No coffee sputter - I need every drop of that magic elixer this morning!)

 

[Nemasis Enforcer]

what about this

A Lecturer eminds her students of tomorrows final exam.

"Now, I won't tolerate ant excuses for you not bein here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but thats it, no other excuse whatsoever!"

A smart-arse student at the back off the class raises his hand and asks

"What if I said if tomorrow I said I was suffereing from sexual exhaustion?"

The rest of the class does its best to stifle their laughter. When silence is restored, the lecturer smiles at her student and shakesnher head, and says sweetly

"Well I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand".

 

[seasparks]

A man escapes from prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses on the neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants nookie, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us.

Be strong, honey. I love you." To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you, too.

ROFL