clitoral stimulation

[coronamoz]

hello- first thread here.

Each time I try to play with my girlfriends clitoris it always seems to
hurt her and never please. I can understand if she was dry, but that is
never the case. I am very gentle and use lubricant to help.

She just loves it when I use my tongue but cannot stand anything else
and it is really lessening the experience. Any advice?

 

[MintSoda]

hello- first thread here.

Each time I try to play with my girlfriends clitoris it always seems to
hurt her and never please. I can understand if she was dry, but that is
never the case. I am very gentle and use lubricant to supplicate.

She just loves it when I use my tongue but cannot stand anything else
and it is really lessening the experience. Any advice?

Several options, trim your finger nails back to nothing, make sure your hands are well taken care of by using lotion and getting rid of callous or rough patches with an emory board (your girlfriend can show you what one is if you don't know), and try caressing over the top of the hood when possible. It may not be meant to be though. Some women are just that sensitive there and hands can be too rough. If you work in any sort of manual labor and your hands are rivalling hers for silky smooth and soft that's probably your problem.

 

[coronamoz]

If you work in any sort of manual labor and your hands are rivalling hers for silky smooth and soft that's probably your problem.

I do, and that could (probably is) it. She, however, has never known a day of work in her life. (well, besides the obvious)

 

[Coyness]

I have this problem as well. When my boyfriend touches my clit, I feel more pain than pleasure, so I usually advise him to stay away.

If you're careful about it, though, and try not to pull it out of its hood (as the poster above said), the feelings there won't be as intense. Also, maybe try putting two wet fingers on either side of it, down near the base, and gently turn your fingers like you would if you were turning a small dial or move your fingers in small circles as you would a joystick (dial, joystick? I obviously couldn't think of anything else..). Just stay away from the tip where it is super sensetive and not completely covered by the female version of foreskin.

 

[MintSoda]

Since you can't very well quit your job and it's nearly impossible to keep your hands pristine and soft while working manual labor I'd suggest giving it your best shot, use lotion twice a day, protect your hands with work gloves if possible and avoid direct fingers to clit stimulation, go with the hood or to either side.

My fiance is a marvel with his hands, but he also takes care of his hands better than I take care of mine. Musicians can be so weird that way.

 

[Eilan]

She just loves it when I use my tongue but cannot stand anything else and it is really lessening the experience. Any advice?

I'm just curious about what you mean by "lessening the experience"? Do you consider this a shortcoming on her part? On your part? Some women just don't like (or can't handle) direct clitoral stimulation. MintSoda and Coyness have given you very good advice.

Communication is essential. Your girlfriend is letting you know that something isn't pleasurable to her. Adapt, overcome, and, most importantly, listen.

 

[SweetErika]

Does she masturbate/can she touch it without pain? If so, have her show and tell you exactly what she likes. The sides are a great suggestion, but also if you travel upwards toward where her labia start/meet, you should feel the "ridge" up a fair amount. Rubbing that gently and maybe in a circular motion (again, let her guide you) can be very pleasurable. Start off barely touching her, and ask her to tell you when to increase the pressure. Keep experimenting a little, but count your blessings she loves your tongue too...nothing wrong with doing what works.