Claymore and Dagger (closed)

[heartofcourage]

"Elin was full grown." Fiona said, her brow furrowed as she looked over towards Sam. "It felt so real."

She ran her free hand over her face, trying to wipe away the last traces of the nightmare. "You'll go to battle of you must, so don't promise me things that you know might have to happen."

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam sighed, looking down at the blanket as he slouched forward. He thought for a long moment before murmuring, "... Yer righ'. I can' promise you I won' lose my life fightin' someday. I'm a soldier. An' more'n tha', I'm an Axeman an' a Ghis. Even th'pacifists in my family 'ave t'raise a blade sometimes. Even Rho, who'd never hurt a fly."

Sam's hand gave hers a little squeeze. "Either one of us could die... now tha' you're becomin' a Rider, you migh' be expected t'fight if trouble comes... but I can promise you one thing, Fiona. We'll be partners, in more'n jus' love. I won' be th'man runnin' off t'war expectin' you t'wave a kerchief and weep after me, or vice versa. If you go to fight, I go too. I'll become a bloody Rider myself if I have to in order t'support you. An' if I'm th'one called away... You get to decide what you do. Follow or no, I'll have a reason to make it back a live, more so than I did before."

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona was quiet for a long moment as he promised that before she leaned against his side and pressed her forehead against his cheek. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I think I might well take my own life."

 

[KieranSoares]

"No," Sam muttered quickly, firm but gentle, both hands rising to her arms in reaction. "Don' you ever throw anythin' away because me. Especially no' yer life." He kissed her temple, and it became apparent that her admission had scared him. When true fear touched Samuel Ghis, it was subtle. His heart was beating a little faster, his grip was gentle, but almost a little desperate, and he had gone from half-asleep to tense and wide-awake in a snap.

 

[heartofcourage]

"You can't ask me to live without my heart, Sam." Fiona said as he kissed her temple fiercely and held her tight. "It would make a person bitter and I've lived with too much uncertainty and hatred in the past to become that person. Even if we never marry, you are mine and I am yours."

 

[KieranSoares]

"What if there's more if or when tha' happens?" Sam asked her quietly, his expression dark and grave with worry. "Other people who depend on us..." He couldn't quite bring himself to suggest they'd ever be parents- at least not anytime in the near future- but the worry was there. And then there was worry for their respective families. If Fiona passed, Sam wouldn't be able to leave his clan, even if it meant feeling empty. They needed him, and he had to remain until they didn't anymore.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona had seen families torn apart by sorrow, especially in were villages. Mothers would die and fathers would follow, leaving Cubs on their own. It was worse in foxes she knew. Once a mate died, it was hard to come back. And Sam was talking about children. She had no idea what kind of a mother she would even be.

"Our children would have people to care for them, Sam. Your family and mine wouldn't let them be on their own." She said simply. "If we decided to have them, that is."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Would you dismiss it so easily if it were me tellin' you I'd let myself die if I lost you?" Sam asked quietly. He may not have been were by blood, but he understood and felt similarly in may ways, having grown up so close to them. It was particularly prevalent in Erygonians, who were a bit more extreme than Lunars in may ways. Lunars had a much more intimate clan structure that helped widowed mates survive and even thrive again. Erygonians, a younger culture still developing its clan structures, lost pairs far more often to sheer grief. Being more self-reliant, Erygonians were much more closed to romantic love. Losing a mate was like losing the carefully-cultivated ability to love, sometimes even overshadowing the widowed mate's dedication to their own children. Lunars were generally the opposite on that front- losing children was more of a death sentence to the parents than a lost mate.

 

[heartofcourage]

"I would hope that you could find someone else to love." Fiona admitted, knowing that Sam wasn't that kind of man. "But...I know you too well."

 

[KieranSoares]

"It was hard enough to open up the first time... I know I wouldn't die if I could help it... if only for Heather's sake. But... I'd probably go back to what I've always done, and keep doing that until I'm too old and weak to be useful anymore." While Fiona meant the world to him, Sam's very sensibilities as a Ghis wouldn't allow him to stake his survival on her own. He would be miserable without her, but he couldn't drop dead from heartbreak. There was too much to do, too many people to protect, too many other Ghis to support.

 

[heartofcourage]

"And what about children?" She asked, looking at Sam with those cub blue eyes. "Would you tell them about me? Would you bring them back here to know my family too?"

 

[KieranSoares]

"If there ever are any..." Sam lifted a hand to brush a lock of hair behind her ear. "Gods, Fiona, they'd never hear the end of you." It was becoming clearer that the very idea was scaring him, but he held firm. "Jus'... don' make me do tha', if you can help it..."

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona hugged him tightly, knowing that she had scared him badly. She hadn't meant to, but it was a reality that they both needed to think about. If children were in their future, it would mean a whole different path in life. One that she would gladly go down with him.

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam's broad arms held Fiona like he could protect her from such a future as she'd imagined or dreamed where she would die a widowed mate, and he coaxed her back to rest. He never let her go, and he didn't sleep any more that night.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona slept better after that, Sam's strong arms holding her tightly as thoughts of their future children teased her brain. Would they have a little girl with pale blonde hair and bright green eyes? Or a little boy built like his father with dark hair and blue eyes? Would they have twins as they ran thick in Sam's family? Would they have anything at all?

 

[KieranSoares]

Come morning, Sam was quietly exhausted, and Fiona would find him up with the sun reading letters that had been delivered before dawn. He wrote short replies here and there, marked up important documents for later reference, and seemed to be poring over some particular letters from his father and brother.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona woke and saw him working hard already that morning. She knew he had probably been up for hours already and she felt guilt at having disturbed him the night before.

"My grandpa always told me that there was the blood of a seer in our family. I didn't know what that meant at the time." Fiona said softly, thinking about her dream from the night before. "Or it could have been nothing but a fairy story for a little girl. I hope that my dreams don't come true."

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam glanced back at her as she spoke, and he left behind a letter from Durban to rise and come to her side. He didn't comment about her bloodline- he knew there wasn't much he could say, only that he was worried- and instead kissed her cheek. "Morning, love..."

 

[heartofcourage]

Sam kissed her cheek and made no comment on what had happened the night before. She let out a sigh, knowing that it had probably had more of an effect on him than he wanted to talk about. She loved him deeply, but he was infuriatingly guarded sometimes.

"Good morning." She murmured back, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tightly.

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam's gaze was soft but a bit troubled. Still, he left the subject be and sorted through his pile of letters to draw out one from Ciaran. "Your lad's gotten my brother's attention."

It was an official letter from Ciaran as Captain of the Rangers, stating William Bard as an exemplary recruit, and rewarding him with a promotion to a proper Ranger effective immediately. He would be given all the gear he needed, and be placed in a unit with a both young and old Rangers. And Ciaran noted that if Will kept up his fine performance, he'd earn a promotion to Corporal by the time he was eighteen.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Well, look at that." Fiona commented with a sad smile. "I never thought it would miss him, but I do. He's probably full grown by now."

 

[KieranSoares]

"We 'aven't been away tha' long, lass. But... He's probably gonna be taller than you, th' way he was growin' before you left. Fifteen now, isn' 'e?"

By the standards of all the local cultures in Inverness, tribal and non, that made Will an adult. While the age of true maturity was later on, he was at the point where he was legally independent.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Fifteen." Fiona said with a nod, thinking about the day that she had found a tiny Will in the woods. "He was so small and scrawny when I found him. Only just older than three."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Here," Sam gave her the envelope Ciaran's letter had come in. There was another letter from Will. "I left it be, figured it wasn' fer my eyes." Will had always known how to read and write unlike most orphans left on their own, thanks to Fiona, but he was never very good at it. It now appeared he'd gotten much better, hinting he was either taking lessons or learning from fellow Rangers.

 

[heartofcourage]

"I'll save it for later." She said as she took the letter and held it in her hands. "Because I'm libel to cry and I'm not going to do that in front of you today."