Cirrus's stupid question o' the week

[Cirrus]

What's the difference between a bottom and a sub? I've heard people say they're the same thing, but then I've heard others debate the difference. Fill me in? Anyone?

 

[lilredwolph]

I personally think they are differant,

I see Top/bottom as something that happens in relationships that aren't intended to be long lasting and don't have a true TPE. I bottomed for around 5 yrs in relationships that weren't D/s but were S/M only. (I was abit of a pain whore and got it when and where I could)

That is the differance to me.

 

[Guest]

In my experience, the bottom plays the submissive or masochist during a scene. There does not have be a D/s relationship outside of kink play.

A submissive has given personal power and control to a Dom/me or Master/Mistress. This can be in or out of scene.

Just my 2 cents...

 

[cellis]

In my experience, the bottom plays the submissive or masochist during a scene. There does not have be a D/s relationship outside of kink play.

A submissive has given personal power and control to a Dom/me or Master/Mistress. This can be in or out of scene.

Just my 2 cents...

What she said!

 

[JenJ]

Raindancer said it prefectly their isn't much I can think of that would describe it better.

 

[WillowPuss]

I think it has already been said.

My definition of a bottom as opposed to a sub is that bottoms are only during a scene.

I may be, probably am, only scratching on the surface.

 

[SpectreT]

I don't use the word "bottom" much. My research (And someone let me know if I've gotten it wrong!) indicates that that one originated in the Gay (Leather) community, for the submissive partner in that type of relationship. The guy who... takes it in the bottom, physically as well as metaphorically.

I'm sure the phrase has evolved from that origin, but I still keep that in mind before I use "bottom".

 

[MissTaken]

Basically, I will reiterate what has been said.

The bottom, for me defines the actions or activities.

Being a sub, indicates the power exchange that occurs.

Hypothetically, you could be a bottom and not be involved with BDSM?

Also, let's take this one step further, I dont identify myself as "A" sub. I identify myself as "submissive."

Submissive defines a character trait that is dominant in my psychological make up.

Being a "sub" is a term I use when involved. Then, I may be "His sub" when in role. Otherwise, I will stick to my use of terminology ending with

I am submissive.

 

[bluemouse]

~agreeing with raindancer, and so much else of what has already been said....

there is a good essay on this at the dark whispers site...i think...or castle realm....one of the two!!!

i also do not generally use "sub" and i am not a "bottom" ~ though i can play one...

i am a submissive.