Chyoo'd up and spit out

[niceguy2002tim]

Hello,
today I just wanted to vent. I had a story rejected from Chyoo. It was called Assassin's Delight and in it the main character was an assassin and he or she took jobs to hurt and kill annoying celebrities. It was a non-erotic story but would have contained sex most likely.

I was so disapointed when they rejected my story introduction. I know why they rejected it and that is what I am going to share with you. this is the reason...

_X_ there is extreme non-consentual violence or abuse of characters in the story.

Well DUH! it's a story about an assassin. It just wouldn't be the same if it was consetual. Can you see a hitman asking for consent to kill somebody?

"Excuse me... may I kill you?"

If anybody is curious about reading the introduction thread post a reply post and I will add the thread to this discussion post. Thanks.

-Tim(niceguy2002tim)

 

[iron_man_4750]

I know EXACTLY what your talking about Dont you think a story called the Alien war would be violent too but they rejected that too so I had to take the violence out.

 

[Guest]

Go on Tim post it here. I'd be intereseted to read it.

 

[bungakawa2000]

Read the guidelines. They explicitely say that extreme violence and abuse is forbidden...

Bunga

 

[lilguy]

hey least they told you what wrong. I just get posted the guideline without knowing which ones I broke.

Also there tons of Non conetiual sex stories here. hell the mind control ones is kind of the same thing

 

[bungakawa2000]

Well, from the guidelines:

You may write on almost any subject. We do ask that you not write stories on bestiality, underage sex, or extreme violence during sex. Power plays and non-consent fantasies are one thing, but killing or violently abusing someone during a sexual act should be avoided.

The difference is subtle, but there is one. One very "grey area" stories, the moderator's word is final... You might agree, you might not, but after all, who owns the site?

Bunga

 

[lilguy]

yea how we know where they grey area is if they dont post some feeback. All I get is the ENTIRE GUIDLINES. So I dont know if my stories had violence, fit the word count, had erros, broke copyright laws, didnt fit in the caterogry. Nothing

 

[niceguy2002tim]

The rejected introduction

Hello,
well with my story they basically sent me all the guildlines but it was a list sort of and I went down it and it looked like this...

____________________________________________________
___ Is the first section too short?

___ Did I check to make sure everything was spelled correctly?

___ Were there any serious errors in punctuation or formatting (i.e. submitted in all capital letters, capitalization errors, etc.)?

___ Was the story not broken into appropriately sized paragraphs?

___ Was there an underage (under 18 years old) sexual relationship in my story?

___ Were there URL links, site addresses, or other advertisements within the story?

_X_ Is there extreme non-consentual violence or abuse of characters in the story?

___ OTHER:

Please make the necessary corrections and resubmit.
____________________________________________________

See how there is an X on the one line? Maybe reread the comment they included. Perhaps you missed it, or else you had a dick of a moderator?

Ok, for those who want to read the introduction.. here it is...

Assassin's Delight

"Hello, I am an assassin. That means people come to me and offer me money to kill
people," You say to yourself while looking in to the mirror.

You grin evilly at your reflection. The thought running through your mind, who will you
get the pleasure of killing tonight? So far you have nothing lined up but you have a feeling
that something will come up.

Thinking back over the last year as an assassin you remember your fondest jobs. You
were once paid , 000. to beat Justin Timberlake within an inch of his life with a 2 foot
long rubber dildo. Another time you received , 000. for stuffing Marshal Mathers in
the trunk of a car and driving him off a bridge like in the song Stan. You laugh outloud
with joy for the feeling of a job well done.

Most of the time you get jobs to hurt or kill male celebrities, mostly music and movie
stars. On occasion you have taken jobs involving females, which you always find ways to
have fun with before you finish the job. What would a job be if it was all work and no
pleasure? Not fun and really, you're in it for the fun, not just the money. But the money is
good too!

Glancing over at the floor in your motel room you see all of your tools and weapons laid
out. They are all shinny and waiting to be put to use. Being a little on the crazy side you
hear one of your guns speak to you.

"Yo boss, who we gonna whack tonight?" it says in an Italian voice.

You're not sure why the gun has the Italian accent beings it was made in the good ole US
of A. Again you laugh insanely, pondering the night to come.

Before the story goes any farther please select the sex of the name you entered before
reading the story. If you didn't enter a FIRST and LAST name then it will not matter
whether you pick male or female. The Assassins name will appear as this
{FIRST_NAME} {LAST_NAME} So please select the sex of the main character.

-Tim (niceguy2002tim)

 

[niceguy2002tim]

No Comments?

Hello,
well I see since Oct, 26 nobody has added any comments to this thread. I posted the intro that was rejected and since then I haven't had any feedback. Iwant to know what you think.

Does anybody think I can re-write this intro and have it approved? Or should I just disregard it. Does it sound like a story many of you would read? Let the people speak. Post a reply here, I want to know your thoughts.

Thanks,
Tim (niceguy2002tim)

My Story: A College Girl to be...

 

[Vance]

I would never read a story like this. Then again, I only read stories that have a mind control/hypno angle to them. And I'm not too big on violent stories either, so I guess that doesn't help.

 

[jakelyon]

Sample Thread

Give me one sample of where you see this story going. I am having a hard time getting into the mindset of what you are looking for hear. Maybe a brief outline of one sample thread line would help.

Thanks.

 

[bungakawa2000]

I'm all for rough/non-consensual sex. Where I put a "stop" is when somebody is hurt without a "comedy" feeling or what. As an example, my contributions in the "Jetsons" story of Cartoons Lover involve a lot of rough and probably painful sex, but the characters are not "hurt": there is no bleeding, they will not be traumatized; in fact, they are probably more angry than in pain.

Seeing somebody crying, pleading for mercy (again, without a "comedy" feeling to it) and such is a BIG turn down for me. So if the goal of the character is ultimately to kill whoever they are going to meet... Especially if you leave no room to develop a story stating that it might simply be a fantasm, a day-dream instead of the guy "real" job...

*shrugs*

Bunga

 

[niceguy2002tim]

Thanks

Hey,
well thanks for all the feedback. I think I will leave the assassin as dead. It doesn't sound like the story has a potential to grow very much. It is a humor/satire style and I suppose you horn-dogs want SEX. That is fine. I will concentrate my efforts on my story A College Girl to be...

which as it stand now is either 108 threads or 71. I am not sure since on the "my stories" section it says 108 but under the statistics it is only 71. So you decide. I will tell you this though. The number of views is currently 8136 and the story is 11 threads deep. There is A LOT of SEX too! and it is very descriptive and long! Anybody who hasn't read it, c'mon! Also I am in need of contributions.

I will try my best to add to your story if you add to mine. If I have let anybody down, then post a reply here! thanks.

-Tim (niceguy2002tim)

P.S. I have been doing a lot of writing for a great story called In from the Snow which is an interracial story. Also, there is another great story I have contributed to known as, The Choices We Make which is about highschool.

My STORY: A College Girl to be...