shereads
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- Joined
- Jun 6, 2003
- Posts
- 19,242
Deep Throat outed himself today.
For decades, I held onto the hope that it was Pat Nixon who met Carl Bernstein in that shadowy parking garage, wearing that respectable cloth coat she must have come to loathe. But that was a pipe dream.
Thank you, Mark Felt, for following your conscience and helping evict a crime boss from the White House before his entire Enemies List could have their bedrooms bugged and their medical records stolen.
The kicker is, Nixon knew. He pegged Deep Throat's identity, on tape, a segment of which was just played by NBC News:
Nixon asks Haldeman what should be done about Felt, who "knows absolutely everything."
Haldemon replies that he's already asked Dean.
Nixon: "What the hell would Dean do?"
To his credit, Haldeman doesn't suggest that Felt should sleep with the fishes. This is America, after all; even the Nixon White House drew the line at murder, or at least limited discussions of murder to the 18 minutes that are missing from the tapes.
Instead, Haldeman says nothing can be done about Felt. He hasn't done anything illegal, "and if we go after him now he'll probably go on network television."
There is a pregnant pause.
Nixon: "Is he Catholic?"
Haldeman: "He's Jewish."
Nixon: "Christ. We put a Jew in there?"

Seriously, was American history this much fun when you were in school? We owe Dick Nixon our thanks for providing better material, just as we owe Deep Throat, without whom we might never have known about it.
~ ~ ~
And yet...
With all due respect to the Jew who helped force him from office, Nixon was probably less dangerous than the trained monkey that stammered its way through another press conference this morning, seeming for all the world like a kid trying to deliver a book report without revealing that he didn't read the book.
Monkey Moment One:
Responding to allegations by Amnesty International that his administration has created "a network of gulags" around the world, Dubya explained that reports of prisoner abuse are invented by "people who are trained to dis-assemble, which means to not tell the truth." "We have questioned those detainees," he added, "and they have not admitted to any abuse." Case closed.
Monkey Moment Seventy-Five:
Within seconds of bemoaning the financial burden placed on future generations by the failure of Social Security, he side-steps a question about his record budget deficit. (When the cameras are off, does Karl Rove pop an extra M&M in the president's mouth to reward a successful dodge like that one?)
Oh, what I wouldn't give to be a textbook publisher. I might be induced to add Creation Theory in exchange for the right to distribute my masterpiece on modern U.S. history, exactly as written.
I would tell the story of the Sixties through the OO's using nothing but direct quotes. Only at the high school level would I include the nicknames for informants, and explain the references.
~ ~ ~
"Where is Richard M. Nixon now that we finally need him?"
~ Hunter S. Thompson
For decades, I held onto the hope that it was Pat Nixon who met Carl Bernstein in that shadowy parking garage, wearing that respectable cloth coat she must have come to loathe. But that was a pipe dream.
Thank you, Mark Felt, for following your conscience and helping evict a crime boss from the White House before his entire Enemies List could have their bedrooms bugged and their medical records stolen.
The kicker is, Nixon knew. He pegged Deep Throat's identity, on tape, a segment of which was just played by NBC News:
Nixon asks Haldeman what should be done about Felt, who "knows absolutely everything."
Haldemon replies that he's already asked Dean.
Nixon: "What the hell would Dean do?"
To his credit, Haldeman doesn't suggest that Felt should sleep with the fishes. This is America, after all; even the Nixon White House drew the line at murder, or at least limited discussions of murder to the 18 minutes that are missing from the tapes.
Instead, Haldeman says nothing can be done about Felt. He hasn't done anything illegal, "and if we go after him now he'll probably go on network television."
There is a pregnant pause.
Nixon: "Is he Catholic?"
Haldeman: "He's Jewish."
Nixon: "Christ. We put a Jew in there?"
Seriously, was American history this much fun when you were in school? We owe Dick Nixon our thanks for providing better material, just as we owe Deep Throat, without whom we might never have known about it.
~ ~ ~
And yet...
With all due respect to the Jew who helped force him from office, Nixon was probably less dangerous than the trained monkey that stammered its way through another press conference this morning, seeming for all the world like a kid trying to deliver a book report without revealing that he didn't read the book.
Monkey Moment One:
Responding to allegations by Amnesty International that his administration has created "a network of gulags" around the world, Dubya explained that reports of prisoner abuse are invented by "people who are trained to dis-assemble, which means to not tell the truth." "We have questioned those detainees," he added, "and they have not admitted to any abuse." Case closed.
Monkey Moment Seventy-Five:
Within seconds of bemoaning the financial burden placed on future generations by the failure of Social Security, he side-steps a question about his record budget deficit. (When the cameras are off, does Karl Rove pop an extra M&M in the president's mouth to reward a successful dodge like that one?)
Oh, what I wouldn't give to be a textbook publisher. I might be induced to add Creation Theory in exchange for the right to distribute my masterpiece on modern U.S. history, exactly as written.
I would tell the story of the Sixties through the OO's using nothing but direct quotes. Only at the high school level would I include the nicknames for informants, and explain the references.
~ ~ ~
"Where is Richard M. Nixon now that we finally need him?"
~ Hunter S. Thompson
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