Yes, of course. In real life relationships there are many considerations that are important, not only sexual preferences. Your partner clearly cares about you and takes many different considerations into account when thinking about what he likes you to wear. A serious relationship doesn’t revolve entirely around eroticism, and practical concerns have to be taken into account.
I was only speaking in general terms and specifically about eroticism, which is why I used stilettos and uniforms as examples because these are generally popular items of ‘sexy’ clothes.
In real life we may have limits and requirements placed upon us by our actual circumstances (e.g. a medical condition or lack of money or how much time we have to spend at work, etc). Real life is not like BDSM literature where fictional characters can be idealized and occupy roles that are perfect for erotic fantasy. As you say, in real life some things can be impractical because of age or health, etc.
Regarding your point about societal norms: this is a tricky but intriguing issue.
On the one hand, embracing a BDSM lifestyle is going against societal norms and so people in the BDSM community may feel inclined to view themselves as natural ‘outsiders’ and reject a societal norm simply because it’s a societal norm.
On the other hand, some societal norms arise out of general trends found in human nature (e.g. evolutionary psychology) and these can find their way into people’s sexualities. These general trends include ideas about femininity and masculinity and these may feature in what people find erotic, such as stilettos. Similarly, uniforms represent hierarchy (which connects with ideas of domination and submission) and so it is not surprising that uniforms feature so prominently in BDSM.
There’s a rich field of intellectual enquiry to be pursued here (although not, perhaps, on an online forum!). But anyway, it makes the issue of embracing or rejecting or role-playing with societal norms quite a complicated one.
