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Cheating Wife

It's not the fantasy I am asking makes sense. Is her "midlife crisis" a way of saying that she wants to have an affair or is it just wishful thinking on my part.
 
You had an affair

Your wife knows. The whole thing is out in the open, so why not just ask her f she wants to?
 
HerLittlePiggy said:
It's not the fantasy I am asking makes sense. Is her "midlife crisis" a way of saying that she wants to have an affair or is it just wishful thinking on my part.
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Have you talked to her about it? Ever asked if she wishes she tried being with someone else while you two were apart?
 
HerLittlePiggy said:
So, until a few years ago I'd never thought about, nor fantasized about my wife cheating on me. She is a pretty straight laced woman and our sex life is mostly vanilla. We've been married for more than 20 years and she has long insisted that she is a one man woman.

A decade ago I had an affair and she found out after I'd ended it. We were separated at the time but we ended up reconciling and in the years that followed our marriage andf our sex life was pretty good. We dabbled in bondage and dominance. We watched porn together and we had a robust sex life. She did however lament the fact that I got to experience another woman and she was faithful while we were separated. (I was her first and only partner).

A few years ago I began to fantasize about my wife cheating. She isn't a flirtatious woman and aside from lamenting the fact that I cheated and she did not she hasn't given me a solid reason to suspect it would ever happen. I have on occasion caught her checking guys out and making eye contact and she has a type. Oddly enough her professed type (me and guys like me) is very different from the guys I sometimes catch her making eye contact with. Also, she does sometimes get approached when we go out and if I'm honest the guys who do are not like me.

She recently went on a girls trip with friends. She was out of the country without cell service and we had little contact while she was away. When she got home she mentioned that one of her friends was very flirty but said that nothing untoward happened. A few days later while we were hanging with friends she said "jokingly" that she wanted to have a midlife crisis. The comment was unprovoked and she'd had a few glasses of wine but it was pretty uncharacteristic and it made me pause. Since then I can't help but wonder what she meant and if her "midlife crisis" was a way of saying that she wants to have an affair.

Am I crazy or is does that make sense.
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Sounds like she has it on her mind. Hard to know how much time she is spending thinking about it. Blunt and direct is usually a good strategy. Good luck!! Ride the wave!!
 
dz2681 said:
Have you talked to her about it? Ever asked if she wishes she tried being with someone else while you two were apart?
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I haven't talked to her about it recently because my affair is still a sore subject. She did say, after we reconciled, that she wished she'd taken the opportunity to indulge. Since then however she has remained silent on the subject. She is a private person and when I've asked about her fantasies she is usually pretty generic and not forthcoming with details.
 
The way you have described her I get the impression you will need to be very patient and subtle to start with when approaching her with this and hopefully bringing her round to the idea. It does seem like there is a seed in her mind, you just need to be careful with your approach.
 
HerLittlePiggy said:
It's not the fantasy I am asking makes sense. Is her "midlife crisis" a way of saying that she wants to have an affair or is it just wishful thinking on my part.
Click to expand...

It may be - maybe not.
If she does want that - is it with a man or a woman?
Maybe she wants to explore her bi side?
Who was her flirty friend?
 
Open the door rather than guessing. Tell her that she deserves to have her mid life crisis and ask her what it involves......as long as you are ready for the answer,
 
SlutAddicted said:
Open the door rather than guessing. Tell her that she deserves to have her mid life crisis and ask her what it involves......as long as you are ready for the answer,
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That's the key isn't it. :)
My dad used to tell me that if you think you might not like the answer, it's probably best not to ask the question...

But this is obviously nagging at you.
You really have to come to a decision about yourself first.
Are you happy to go along with it if she does want an affair? (with whoever) ... but more importantly, can you be prepared for the possible repercussions?
 
I am ready for whatever she wants. I have thought about it and if she wants to have an affair I will support her.

As for the gender, if she is thinking about it I am almost certain that it's a guy
 
ask her

Hey man I think you need to ask but in a subtle and supportive way. Even simply saying hey hun what did you mean when you made that comment and reassure her there is definitely no wrong answer ! Let her know your not going to be angry and far from it you want to know what she thinks and feels !!

Thats my humble opinion mate and good luck !
 
Straight up, I speak from experience when I say it sounds like your wife is getting restless. After years of monogamy she may be getting curious of other men. I had these suspicions, for the lack of a better word. Soon after my wife was naked in another man's bed.
 
screwher said:
Straight up, I speak from experience when I say it sounds like your wife is getting restless. After years of monogamy she may be getting curious of other men. I had these suspicions, for the lack of a better word. Soon after my wife was naked in another man's bed.
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You may be right.

I'd love more female perspectives on this since they are more familiar with the code :)
 
Her mid-life crisis could have somewhere around 47 million different meanings. If you want to know which one; you're going to have to ask.

Her having an affair and becoming sexually restless is on your mind. That maybe the furthest thing on her mind.

She was with a group of women and saw or heard something that sparked her interest. That in no way implies she is going to act or even continue to think about it. It might have been nothing more than a fleeting, wistful comment on her age.

Ask her. If you're going to fuss and speculate, you might as well know the truth.
 
Just ask her. "Honey, what kind of mid-life crisis are you having so we can make it happen for you?"
 
I don't think she cheated. I do think she got hit on at the resort and it got her thinking. Her comment about wanting to have a midlife crisis was out of character for her and she was fishing for a response. That's why the line above fits so well.

In truth, if she wants to fuck another guy, and it's just sex, I'm okay with that.
 
HerLittlePiggy said:
I don't think she cheated. I do think she got hit on at the resort and it got her thinking. Her comment about wanting to have a midlife crisis was out of character for her and she was fishing for a response. That's why the line above fits so well.

In truth, if she wants to fuck another guy, and it's just sex, I'm okay with that.
Click to expand...
I am currently under that same conundrum.
 
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