Chasing Rainbows
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shy slave
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A couple of weekends ago I drove for five hours to meet and play with a man I had never met.
The way he dragged me in his house and used me, it was amazing, a wonderful experience.
He was lovely, sadistic, kind, gentle, caring, funny, intelligent. I had a good time but he is without a doubt all of those things for someone else. I am hoping it will be with his ex, he is a nice man and deserves to be happy with her.
Since Andante and I split I have been talking by email to another man.
When he mailed me I was rude and possibly a little abrupt and difficult. I have no idea why I was like that. On re-reading the first couple of emails I sent him I was surprised at how I was with him.
He persisted in sending me emails and gradually I have become a nicer person to him.
We met last weekend.
I was not expecting to like him. Not even a small amount, I imagined a brief meeting and then disappearing off to see my sister.
Instead I discovered I liked him, in fact I liked him alot.
He is witty and intelligent. He doesn't let me talk crap and he is very clear about his sadistic intentions. He seems very experienced in BDSM, and most of all his voice makes me want to please him.
We have decided to meet again in just over a week and see what happens.
It is not comets colliding, but it does feel right and it does feel as if I can allow myself to be me the slave, not me the everything else.
Of course he may not turn out to be a rainbow or a pot of gold, he may in fact be a pot of something quite different!; but I am willing to find out.
Whatever he is, I am sure his cock and my mouth will enjoy each other
The way he dragged me in his house and used me, it was amazing, a wonderful experience.
He was lovely, sadistic, kind, gentle, caring, funny, intelligent. I had a good time but he is without a doubt all of those things for someone else. I am hoping it will be with his ex, he is a nice man and deserves to be happy with her.
Since Andante and I split I have been talking by email to another man.
When he mailed me I was rude and possibly a little abrupt and difficult. I have no idea why I was like that. On re-reading the first couple of emails I sent him I was surprised at how I was with him.
He persisted in sending me emails and gradually I have become a nicer person to him.
We met last weekend.
I was not expecting to like him. Not even a small amount, I imagined a brief meeting and then disappearing off to see my sister.
Instead I discovered I liked him, in fact I liked him alot.
He is witty and intelligent. He doesn't let me talk crap and he is very clear about his sadistic intentions. He seems very experienced in BDSM, and most of all his voice makes me want to please him.
We have decided to meet again in just over a week and see what happens.
It is not comets colliding, but it does feel right and it does feel as if I can allow myself to be me the slave, not me the everything else.
Of course he may not turn out to be a rainbow or a pot of gold, he may in fact be a pot of something quite different!; but I am willing to find out.
Whatever he is, I am sure his cock and my mouth will enjoy each other
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the captians wench
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shy slave said:A couple of weekends ago I drove for five hours to meet and play with a man I had never met.
The way he dragged me in his house and used me was amazing, a wonderful experience.
He was lovely, kind, gentle, caring, funny, intelligent. I had a good time but he is without a doubt all of those things for someone else. I am hoping it will be with his ex, he is a nice man and deserves to be happy with her.
Since Andante and I split I have been talking by email to another man.
When he mailed me I was rude and possibly a little abrupt and difficult. I have no idea why I was like that. On re-reading the first couple of emails I sent him I was surprised at how I was with him.
He persisted in sending me emails and gradually I have become a nicer person to him.
We met last weekend.
I was not expecting to like him. Not even a small amount, I imagined a brief meeting and then disappearing off to see my sister.
Instead I discovered I liked him, in fact I liked him alot.
He is witty and intelligent. He doesn't let me talk crap and he is very clear about his sadistic intentions. He seems very experienced in BDSM, and most of all his voice makes me want to please him.
We have decided to meet again in just over a week and see what happens.
It is not comets colliding, but it does feel right and it does feel as if I can allow myself to be me the slave, not me the everything else.
Of course he may not turn out to be a rainbow or a pot of gold, he may in fact be a pot of something quite different!; but I am willing to find out.
Whatever he is, I am sure his cock and my mouth will enjoy each other
I read that whole thing and kept thinking "omg could it be possible shy missed an op to have a cock in her mouth
" Then my faith in you was restored with your last sentence. *giggles* 
Enjoy the ride shy.
Blushing Bottom
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I'm so glad you are putting it out there sly. It has been a couple of months since I had to back away from S and I too have started putting myself out there again. I have two scheduled engagements coming up. One with a Dom I have played with in the past and one for a first time meeting. I'm excited about both...excited about being used by a man other than S for the first time in a long time. I'm heading to Cape Cod for a couple of weeks and upon my return I expect the games to begin...again...in earnest.
...and yes my mouth missed cock as well.
That's all.
...and yes my mouth missed cock as well.
That's all.
shy slave said:Of course he may not turn out to be a rainbow or a pot of gold, he may in fact be a pot of something quite different!; but I am willing to find out.
Whatever he is, I am sure his cock and my mouth will enjoy each other
shy slave
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the captians wench said:I read that whole thing and kept thinking "omg could it be possible shy missed an op to have a cock in her mouth
Enjoy the ride shy.
Wenchie ~ I may have spent most of this year in some sort of weird fog, but it never going to be that weird that I miss an opportunity to have, think, dream of having a cock in my mouth!!! LOL
Recently I played, and was fucked whilst I had a penis gag in my mouth, my God it was heaven, pure heaven.
Sawman & FF Thank you. The past two years have been a personal hell, splitting with Andante was like having a line drawn under a difficult time.
My mood swings remain erratic and interesting, if all else fails I can join the circus as an emotional trapeze artiste!
Mood swings aside, I don't want to watch my life drift because of things in the past which I had no control over and can't change.
Sliding down rainbows into pots of emotional gold or into pots of slurry seems a far better way to spend my time.
I know you both understand much of where I am, and why, your sentiments mean alot
BB I am glad that you too are reaching out towards new opportunities, please let us know how the meets went. Use this thread if you wish, I don't need it to be all me, me, me....I can share threads, I just struggle to share cocks lol
the captians wench
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shy slave said:Wenchie ~ I may have spent most of this year in some sort of weird fog, but it never going to be that weird that I miss an opportunity to have, think, dream of having a cock in my mouth!!! LOL
Recently I played, and was fucked whilst I had a penis gag in my mouth, my God it was heaven, pure heaven.
Sawman & FF Thank you. The past two years have been a personal hell, splitting with Andante was like having a line drawn under a difficult time.
My mood swings remain erratic and interesting, if all else fails I can join the circus as an emotional trapeze artiste!
Mood swings aside, I don't want to watch my life drift because of things in the past which I had no control over and can't change.
Sliding down rainbows into pots of emotional gold or into pots of slurry seems a far better way to spend my time.
I know you both understand much of where I am, and why, your sentiments mean alot
BB I am glad that you too are reaching out towards new opportunities, please let us know how the meets went. Use this thread if you wish, I don't need it to be all me, me, me....I can share threads, I just struggle to share cocks lol
you know I've often wondered what it would be like to have one cock in my mouth and one in one of my other holes....wouldn't have to be two real cocks, but one real and one plastic might be fun.
shy slave
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the captians wench said:
It was huge fun, even though I ended up dribbling in a very unsexy way, the added humiliation of that was mind expanding and took me to a whole new place.
I am now looking to buy one, it seems rude to ring him and say 'I know we are not going to meet again but could I please have the gag as a souvenir' lol
shy slave
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sexycaz22 said:Shy slave ~ I am glad to see things are working out well for you, after a difficult time. All the best of luck for your future.
Thank you Sexycaz ~Nice av you have there. What did he use to make it that beautiful colour, his hand or a toy?
sexycaz22
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shy slave said:
the details are in this thread:My Journey
Thank you, I thought I might not like looking at my bottom after a good spanking but I love the look of my lovely red rosy cheeks!! 
shy slave
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Thought I would let you know how my trials of dating are working (or not)
The nice man I was going to spend a weekend with......he ended up in hospital having had an angina attack.
I could have been nice and sweet and all of those things, but once we managed to talk; he sort of said he needed time to get well, and I did not disagree.
Selfish, to want someone who is not ill? Yes, it is. But I have never pretended to be anything other than upfront. I don't want to be in constant worry or potentially end up a nurse to someone at the begining of a potential relationship.
Then there was another nice man. less than a week after we played he decided he wanted to try again with his ex. We carried on talking and i like him a great deal, but as nothing other than the man who woke me up from the fog I was living in. I do now see him as someone I can pick up the phone and talk to about D/s in a way that I cannot with other people.
Now I have met someone else!
He is fairly new into D/s and has met submissives before, as well as played with someone I know.
I do feel uncomfortable with the fact he has played with someone I know, particularly as I don't like this woman (yet, that is unfair; I hardly know her and I hate that attitude in other women!).
He is new, he is very sweet (but I don't think I should confuse that with non-sadistic), I don't really understand his motivation for D/s; but maybe.... just maybe.
After all before Andante my experience was not vast. I had had another relationship of 10 months and played with one other person. I am hardly an expert.
Personally, I struggle to explain it is not pain in itself that I crave, but the mental submission to someone I respect, that enables me to take pain as well as give pleasure to someone else.
His motivations seem at odds with mine.
It amuses me that at the weekend he said he did not understand 'control outside the bedroom' but by last night he was asking me how much food I wanted and then deciding what I was actually going to have on my plate!
I have no idea where it will lead, but we do have conversation (outside of D/s)and we do laugh together.
He is a zillion times more intelligent than me, which does make me wonder what on earth he would want with me.
But we will see.
I am not in a rush, and I am greedy.
I want a D/s relationship that incorporates normal life as well.
My short time on various websites seems to indicate that most people will settle for one or the other.
He is new, and I really don't understand him, but I think it could be interesting to learn together.
The nice man I was going to spend a weekend with......he ended up in hospital having had an angina attack.
I could have been nice and sweet and all of those things, but once we managed to talk; he sort of said he needed time to get well, and I did not disagree.
Selfish, to want someone who is not ill? Yes, it is. But I have never pretended to be anything other than upfront. I don't want to be in constant worry or potentially end up a nurse to someone at the begining of a potential relationship.
Then there was another nice man. less than a week after we played he decided he wanted to try again with his ex. We carried on talking and i like him a great deal, but as nothing other than the man who woke me up from the fog I was living in. I do now see him as someone I can pick up the phone and talk to about D/s in a way that I cannot with other people.
Now I have met someone else!
He is fairly new into D/s and has met submissives before, as well as played with someone I know.
I do feel uncomfortable with the fact he has played with someone I know, particularly as I don't like this woman (yet, that is unfair; I hardly know her and I hate that attitude in other women!).
He is new, he is very sweet (but I don't think I should confuse that with non-sadistic), I don't really understand his motivation for D/s; but maybe.... just maybe.
After all before Andante my experience was not vast. I had had another relationship of 10 months and played with one other person. I am hardly an expert.
Personally, I struggle to explain it is not pain in itself that I crave, but the mental submission to someone I respect, that enables me to take pain as well as give pleasure to someone else.
His motivations seem at odds with mine.
It amuses me that at the weekend he said he did not understand 'control outside the bedroom' but by last night he was asking me how much food I wanted and then deciding what I was actually going to have on my plate!
I have no idea where it will lead, but we do have conversation (outside of D/s)and we do laugh together.
He is a zillion times more intelligent than me, which does make me wonder what on earth he would want with me.
But we will see.
I am not in a rush, and I am greedy.
I want a D/s relationship that incorporates normal life as well.
My short time on various websites seems to indicate that most people will settle for one or the other.
He is new, and I really don't understand him, but I think it could be interesting to learn together.
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the captians wench
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I wouldn't discredit him just because he's new, you never know what he'll pick up and how quickly, you may be very pleasently surprized.
What does worry me is you say his motives do not match yours and that you don't understand his motives. I know different people have different reasons for choosing this lifestyle, but, and especially if you are growing together, I think your reasonings should at least mesh well, if not match up.
Having some one interested in the whole you and not just part of you is a wonderful thing and I say be greedy! I've delt with my share of doms who just saught the sub in me and were happy to play with me, but when it came to things where I needed some one to just listen or talk to, have dinner with, or even just relate to me in some other way, they were suddenly busy. Those things are important too, and you do deserve to have both in your life, and in the same package.
What does worry me is you say his motives do not match yours and that you don't understand his motives. I know different people have different reasons for choosing this lifestyle, but, and especially if you are growing together, I think your reasonings should at least mesh well, if not match up.
Having some one interested in the whole you and not just part of you is a wonderful thing and I say be greedy! I've delt with my share of doms who just saught the sub in me and were happy to play with me, but when it came to things where I needed some one to just listen or talk to, have dinner with, or even just relate to me in some other way, they were suddenly busy.
Those things are important too, and you do deserve to have both in your life, and in the same package.
JMohegan
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Somehow I missed this delightful post when it was originally written!shy slave said:OH my goodness me.
Yet another rare Dom sighting!
JM, I am so glad to see you.
And as always you advice is always welcome
I have been very surprised in the past few weeks, I have had more of a social life recently than I have ever had in my whole life.
I feel more at ease with who I am and feel very relaxed. I am so happy to be back bossing people around, and having fun doing something I love so much
I am talking to people in the bizarre online kink places, some are nice, some are sadists
Later I promise I will posts the story of the flies, if only to amuse you.
You know there is nothing I would not do to amuse you
If I still had sig lines turned on, I'd add that sentence in red to mine, just as a reminder. It has a very nice ring to it, don't you think?
With regard to that line in blue - be careful what you wish for, woman!
Pardon me if sound like somebody's father, or grandfather, or creature from the Dark Ages, or..... god forbid, vanilla!....shy slave said:
.... but.....From a long-term relationship perspective, starting with kink and then working to get to know one another seems like putting the cart before the horse to me.
My suggestion would be to get to know a prospective mate before agreeing to play with him.
And by "get to know", I do not mean: read his Collarme profile and exchange checklists.
I mean: get to know each other the old-fashioned way.
Right. So my suggestion is, establish "normal life" compatibility, and then let the physical expression of your affection follow as a natural course.shy slave said:
saw_man1
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I'm happy for you Shy. I'm proud of you for getting out there and trying again and I'm glad that your efforts seem to be paying off. This latest fellow sounds like someone worth trying.
Good for you!
Were I but a little closer I would give you that birthday present personally.
Good for you!
Were I but a little closer I would give you that birthday present personally.
shy slave
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wenchie - I know what you mean about playing/having sex and then 'suddenly they are busy' if you want to talk about anything else!
Then again, sex is important to me and I want to be with someone who understands that it is. It is not all of my thoughts or all of my life, but it is high on the scale.
I enjoy it as a constant running thread going through my mind.
It is only through talking to him that I realise how much in the past ten years I have allowed my brain cells to stop exploring, thinking and generally working on anything other than a few topics. Maybe that is age, or life or how I have changed to meet other peoples expectations and views. Perhaps I have been stagnating and not taking time to really think outside of my own comfort zone. Whatever the reason, and regardless of what happens next; I need to change that in myself. I don't like that that has happened.
JM
The line is blue remains as my view. You talk sense, I may not always agree or sometimes your words may make me review my own behaviour; but I have never known you to be off the mark, or God forbid, wrong!
You comment about 'the old fashioned way' was good advice and right.
Sawman, you are a sweetie, but rest assured I won't tell anyone
Trust me, if you were a little closer I would want my birthday present given in person!
Then again, sex is important to me and I want to be with someone who understands that it is. It is not all of my thoughts or all of my life, but it is high on the scale.
I enjoy it as a constant running thread going through my mind.
It is only through talking to him that I realise how much in the past ten years I have allowed my brain cells to stop exploring, thinking and generally working on anything other than a few topics. Maybe that is age, or life or how I have changed to meet other peoples expectations and views. Perhaps I have been stagnating and not taking time to really think outside of my own comfort zone. Whatever the reason, and regardless of what happens next; I need to change that in myself. I don't like that that has happened.
JM
The line is blue remains as my view. You talk sense, I may not always agree or sometimes your words may make me review my own behaviour; but I have never known you to be off the mark, or God forbid, wrong!
You comment about 'the old fashioned way' was good advice and right.
Sawman, you are a sweetie, but rest assured I won't tell anyone
Trust me, if you were a little closer I would want my birthday present given in person!
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Blushing Bottom
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OK...so here I go again. I'm about to jump...head first into the Dom pool again.
I have been chatting online and on the phone with this Dom for about a month now and today is the day....we are to meet. No play is scheduled though when he speaks of dragging me off to his car for some "back seat discipline" for teasing him for so long I almost wish that he would. It has been far too long since anyone has disciplined this ass...or done anything to anything in fact.
Ah such fantasy...like that would ever happen. Both of us being highly respected professionals in our communities "back seat" anything is something we can not risk...well not on the first date any way. All the precautions are in place and my very straight girl friend thinks I'm "crazy" to be meeting "strange men off the Internet." If she only knew how "strange" she would find them. She'd cover her face in horror and run.
My mouth is watering and I have this twitch in my ass. Does that mean anything to anyone?
Wish me luck
I have been chatting online and on the phone with this Dom for about a month now and today is the day....we are to meet. No play is scheduled though when he speaks of dragging me off to his car for some "back seat discipline" for teasing him for so long I almost wish that he would. It has been far too long since anyone has disciplined this ass...or done anything to anything in fact.
Ah such fantasy...like that would ever happen. Both of us being highly respected professionals in our communities "back seat" anything is something we can not risk...well not on the first date any way. All the precautions are in place and my very straight girl friend thinks I'm "crazy" to be meeting "strange men off the Internet." If she only knew how "strange" she would find them. She'd cover her face in horror and run.
My mouth is watering and I have this twitch in my ass. Does that mean anything to anyone?
Wish me luck
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SubKekiLee
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Shy
Congrats on moving on and trying to find a new interest... If you need an ear I am here for you...
BB-
Congrats on your search for a new love/Dom.... Im here if you need a friend to listen I can imagine how hard it is... I dont think I could gather the courage to look if my D and I werent together anymore
But to the both of you I wish you the best of luck!!!
Congrats on moving on and trying to find a new interest... If you need an ear I am here for you...
BB-
Congrats on your search for a new love/Dom.... Im here if you need a friend to listen I can imagine how hard it is... I dont think I could gather the courage to look if my D and I werent together anymore
But to the both of you I wish you the best of luck!!!
sexycaz22
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Blushing Bottom said:OK...so here I go again. I'm about to jump...head first into the Dom pool again.
I have been chatting online and on the phone with this Dom for about a month now and today is the day....we are to meet. No play is scheduled though when he speaks of dragging me off to his car for some "back seat discipline" for teasing him for so long I almost wish that he would. It has been far too long since anyone has disciplined this ass...or done anything to anything in fact.
Ah such fantasy...like that would ever happen. Both of us being highly respected professionals in out communities "back seat" anything is something we can not risk...well not on the first date any way. All the precautions are in place and my very straight girl friend thinks I'm "crazy" to be meeting "strange men off the Internet." If she only knew how "strange" she would find them. She'd cover her face in horror and run.
My mouth is watering and I have this twitch in my ass. Does that mean anything to anyone?
Wish me luck
Ohhhh...all the best of luck, BB, I am also going on a date with a lovely Dom on Tuesday!
{{{HUGS}}}
Do remember to report back to us!
shy slave
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BB - How was it?
I am looking forward to hearing how it went and how you found be around someone new.
Thank you Keki for your kind thoughts.
I am still with the new man (a whole two weeks), what I can't get my head around is how lacking in confidence and nervous I am around him.
It is not him, I just seem scared to make an error (and then I end up making them) or upset him in some way.
He is very self contained, I like that, but at the same time it sort of makes me feel insecure. Yet I can't explain exactly why that would be. He has not given me any reason to feel that way; it is all in my head.
He is witty, observant, nice to be with etc etc, yet I am not relaxing as much as I would wish.
Hell, I am even worried about the way I give him oral. Incredible but true.
I hate being naked in front of him, I am shy in many ways, but not usually this shy.
I am starting to annoy myself. The lack of confidence is very irritating as well.
I can't decide why I am being like this, and goodness knows many reasons have crossed and re-crossed my mind.
I need to get a grip otherwise he will end up thinking I am one type of person when if I could only relax fully I am a different person.
I am going around in circles with this.
Has anyone else found this when they have started dating again, either after a long term relationship or after a period of being alone?
I am looking forward to hearing how it went and how you found be around someone new.
Thank you Keki for your kind thoughts.
I am still with the new man (a whole two weeks), what I can't get my head around is how lacking in confidence and nervous I am around him.
It is not him, I just seem scared to make an error (and then I end up making them) or upset him in some way.
He is very self contained, I like that, but at the same time it sort of makes me feel insecure. Yet I can't explain exactly why that would be. He has not given me any reason to feel that way; it is all in my head.
He is witty, observant, nice to be with etc etc, yet I am not relaxing as much as I would wish.
Hell, I am even worried about the way I give him oral. Incredible but true.
I hate being naked in front of him, I am shy in many ways, but not usually this shy.
I am starting to annoy myself. The lack of confidence is very irritating as well.
I can't decide why I am being like this, and goodness knows many reasons have crossed and re-crossed my mind.
I need to get a grip otherwise he will end up thinking I am one type of person when if I could only relax fully I am a different person.
I am going around in circles with this.
Has anyone else found this when they have started dating again, either after a long term relationship or after a period of being alone?
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Blushing Bottom
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OK...so shy...FF....
It was a meet and greet meeting only but dayem the sparks that flew and when he offered to haul me off to my place for a "little demonstration of my oral skills" I almost said yes.
But no...I kept my head ha..ha and we have set the date of our first engagement for Tuesday next.
He is a delightful man, intelligent, witty and like yours shy, self contained and yes I did feel a bit shy in his presence and know I will feel it even more so when he first strips and inspects me as he has already said he will do. I blush now at the thought.
It is difficult to meet new Dominant men shy. They have agendas you know and you never know if you'll live up to them until you hear their first grunt or moan of pleasure.
Ah well...onward to Tuesday. I'll keep yall posted.
It was a meet and greet meeting only but dayem the sparks that flew and when he offered to haul me off to my place for a "little demonstration of my oral skills" I almost said yes.
But no...I kept my head ha..ha and we have set the date of our first engagement for Tuesday next.
He is a delightful man, intelligent, witty and like yours shy, self contained and yes I did feel a bit shy in his presence and know I will feel it even more so when he first strips and inspects me as he has already said he will do. I blush now at the thought.
It is difficult to meet new Dominant men shy. They have agendas you know and you never know if you'll live up to them until you hear their first grunt or moan of pleasure.
Ah well...onward to Tuesday. I'll keep yall posted.
