Chasing Rainbows

[shy slave]

I feel I am chasing rainbows, leprechauns and pots of sadistic gold; none of which exist

I have not been around much recently.

Have been figuring out the dating scene again.

I know I have read threads on here about what a jungle it is out there, but honestly I never realised just how bad it could be.

I was so naive.

I have ventured on three dates.
None of which I plan to repeat (they feel the same way lol)

There was the religious instruction school teacher who would not say what he was interested in in terms of BDSM. He did like my boots though

There was the very very rich man who talked about how much money he earned and his fetish for chained diapers. He also grabbed my fork during dinner and put some food on it from his plate. I was nearly sick.
At the end of the night he kissed like a teenager, it was horrible.

Then there was the fantasist who talked about his personal pleasure with flies (yes I do mean with black things with wings!), he made me feel ill, very ill; but at least he didn't expect me to eat food off his plate.

Those are just the ones I have met.

The others are just plain odd and should not be allowed out with out a warning sign hung on their heads!

I am seriously thinking of becoming celibate once I turn 40.

Apart from giving oral, oral doesn't count as real sex does it??

Why is it that they can make me smile or even laugh in an email or text, but when I meet them I just want to go home to a romance novel and nice cup of tea???

Then again there a couple of nice sadists I am talking to.....maybe I am giving in too soon.....

 

[the captians wench]

*hugs*

well one reason is because in email and chat and stuff like that people can be who ever they want to be, in person they are forced to be themselves which isn't always a good thing as far as a potential relationship is concerned.

As to oral being sex, nope it's not real sex....but lemme tell you as much as I LOVE to give oral, after a while (5 months) of giving and not recieving any thing ( and I mean not ANY THING not even a that was worthless, or you're a good cock sucker or nothing) but a few bruses that prolly go a bit deeper than they should it gets old and only increases the disire to well feel desired.

wishing you all the best tho shy

 

[Netzach]

I feel I am chasing rainbows, leprechauns and pots of sadistic gold; none of which exist

I have not been around much recently.

Have been figuring out the dating scene again.

I know I have read threads on here about what a jungle it is out there, but honestly I never realised just how bad it could be.

I was so naive.

I have ventured on three dates.
None of which I plan to repeat (they feel the same way lol)

There was the religious instruction school teacher who would not say what he was interested in in terms of BDSM. He did like my boots though

There was the very very rich man who talked about how much money he earned and his fetish for chained diapers. He also grabbed my fork during dinner and put some food on it from his plate. I was nearly sick.
At the end of the night he kissed like a teenager, it was horrible.

Then there was the fantasist who talked about his personal pleasure with flies (yes I do mean with black things with wings!), he made me feel ill, very ill; but at least he didn't expect me to eat food off his plate.

Those are just the ones I have met.

The others are just plain odd and should not be allowed out with out a warning sign hung on their heads!

I am seriously thinking of becoming celibate once I turn 40.

Apart from giving oral, oral doesn't count as real sex does it??

Why is it that they can make me smile or even laugh in an email or text, but when I meet them I just want to go home to a romance novel and nice cup of tea???

Then again there a couple of nice sadists I am talking to.....maybe I am giving in too soon....shame none of them are tall, gorgeous and danish

Ugh. Vanilla or not dating is wild and wooly, period. I have to make it a game, honestly. If I put my heart into it, I will get hurt and neurotic. You put your heart in it a little only after you've rolled your whatever-you-have-to-roll to get off the "start" square.

If you are comparing person A to person B, I find, you are setting the person up for failure. However, your descriptions are failures even without comparisons. No, not everyone is that effing weird. Not everyone is altogether exciting either. The thing about kissing frogs is true.

I have found that all of the people in my life with staying power have found me, or literally crashed into me when I wasn't looking and was at points in my life where a serious love affair was more inconvenient than sought and I had other things to do. A lot of other things to do. These relationships also make no sense on paper or to anyone else. That's OK, they don't have to.

 

[shy slave]

*hugs*

well one reason is because in email and chat and stuff like that people can be who ever they want to be, in person they are forced to be themselves which isn't always a good thing as far as a potential relationship is concerned.

As to oral being sex, nope it's not real sex....but lemme tell you as much as I LOVE to give oral, after a while (5 months) of giving and not recieving any thing ( and I mean not ANY THING not even a that was worthless, or you're a good cock sucker or nothing) but a few bruses that prolly go a bit deeper than they should it gets old and only increases the disire to well feel desired.

wishing you all the best tho shy

Wenchie, you are right about being being whomever they want to be, not who they are. I don't think it is aways a deliberate act on their part, more a wish fulfillment of what they could be.

Thank God you agree that oral is not sex.
However, if I am not getting anything out of it, then I would not want to give a repeat performance.
I think it was EG who talked about the magic penis, it sounds like that is something to be wary off, as every time you get pulled in again and again and again; each time thinking 'it will be ok'

 

[shy slave]

Ugh. Vanilla or not dating is wild and wooly, period. I have to make it a game, honestly. If I put my heart into it, I will get hurt and neurotic. You put your heart in it a little only after you've rolled your whatever-you-have-to-roll to get off the "start" square.

If you are comparing person A to person B, I find, you are setting the person up for failure. However, your descriptions are failures even without comparisons. No, not everyone is that effing weird. Not everyone is altogether exciting either. The thing about kissing frogs is true.

I have found that all of the people in my life with staying power have found me, or literally crashed into me when I wasn't looking and was at points in my life where a serious love affair was more inconvenient than sought and I had other things to do. A lot of other things to do. These relationships also make no sense on paper or to anyone else. That's OK, they don't have to.

Thank you Net, I think I just need a roll, not a roll of the dice or anything else.
I am trying not to compare person A to person B but when they are doing things that turn you off, it is hard not to.

Relationships never make sense. But maybe you are right, vanilla is too wild and woolly, besides there are too many perverts in vanilla land.

If only we lived nearer to each other, you could turn me bi and open a whole new world of complicated relationships for me
*sigh*

 

[agibean]

Oh boy, does your post bring back memories! Although the wierdos I encountered were wierd in different ways, I was ALSO nearing 40 and contemplating hanging up a "single forever" sign.

I know not everyone here would agree, but what I did was widen the net. I stopped looking ONLY for people into BDSM. And I also stopped looking ONLY for potential partners.

When I found the man who is now my husband of 8 years (as of last week, thank you very much), it was on a "just friends" website. I didn't CARE if he was into BDSM, since I was only going to see if he was interested in a movie here and there, window shopping, discussing a good book, etc.

Turns out, we liked each other a lot. So I told him about my fetish, and fretted over his reply. Turns out he'd been "looking for a girl like me" for years. Go figure.

Another semi-long-term boyfriend I met on the phone-through my job. Though we never discussed BDSM, he took one look at my bookshelf, smiled, and the rest was easy.

I'm not saying this works for everyone. But the one downside I found with looking only at the BDSM world was that most of the "doms" wanted to get all stupid on you before they'd come through the door. I was looking for a whole person, not just a dom.

Good luck. I know the good ones are out there.

 

[the captians wench]

Wenchie, you are right about being being whomever they want to be, not who they are. I don't think it is aways a deliberate act on their part, more a wish fulfillment of what they could be.

Thank God you agree that oral is not sex.
However, if I am not getting anything out of it, then I would not want to give a repeat performance.
I think it was EG who talked about the magic penis, it sounds like that is something to be wary off, as every time you get pulled in again and again and again; each time thinking 'it will be ok'

No I don't think most of them do it on perpous either, but I notice I'm a lot different in chat than I am in person. Tho it really depends some times, because the last few times I met some one I met on line first I didn't have that shy demenor I usually do....maybe I'm bursting out of my bubble and really am out going like my mom keeps saying I am!

 

[CutieMouse]

Oh Shy I have no words of wisdom, but I am glad to see you around again.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hang in there and you will find what you need and want.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

Oh boy, does your post bring back memories! Although the wierdos I encountered were wierd in different ways, I was ALSO nearing 40 and contemplating hanging up a "single forever" sign.

I know not everyone here would agree, but what I did was widen the net. I stopped looking ONLY for people into BDSM. And I also stopped looking ONLY for potential partners.

When I found the man who is now my husband of 8 years (as of last week, thank you very much), it was on a "just friends" website. I didn't CARE if he was into BDSM, since I was only going to see if he was interested in a movie here and there, window shopping, discussing a good book, etc.

Turns out, we liked each other a lot. So I told him about my fetish, and fretted over his reply. Turns out he'd been "looking for a girl like me" for years. Go figure.

Another semi-long-term boyfriend I met on the phone-through my job. Though we never discussed BDSM, he took one look at my bookshelf, smiled, and the rest was easy.

I'm not saying this works for everyone. But the one downside I found with looking only at the BDSM world was that most of the "doms" wanted to get all stupid on you before they'd come through the door. I was looking for a whole person, not just a dom.

Good luck. I know the good ones are out there.

This is way cool.

I've stuck with the BDSM world net, but I zoom in on people who I can tell have a LOT of life outside "the scene" and tangential interest in connecting with it socially.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

: smilesNsmilesNsmilesNsmiles :

Then there was the fantasist who talked about his personal pleasure with flies (yes I do mean with black things with wings!), he made me feel ill, very ill; but at least he didn't expect me to eat food off his plate.

Pardon , the problem with fly boy was what please ?

: runs :

 

[minx1]

Pardon , the problem with fly boy was what please ?

: runs :

OMG Shy, poor you!

I don't mean to giggle, but it just reminded me of some of the 'dates' I've had. I went to dinner with one guy who turned up with his suitcase....it seemed he planned on staying a while lol. I had never met him before.

We ate quickly and I put him back on his train.

 

[shy slave]

Agibean, thank you that is a good thought that i may be looking in the wrong place. Then again, who knows. I think I am ready to start slowly into a new potential relationship, but until i actually meet someone in person who makes my stomach sink and my mind craves to submit to him; I won't know.

Wenchie, I am sure I am not alone when I say I definitely think you are bursting out of your bubble. Look back on your early posts, my God woman you are a different, more confident, woman who is more at ease with who she actually is. Well, in my opinion anyway.

Cutie, I have missed being here. Things in life have changed alot. A week before he and I ended I cried for over 12 hours straight, including being physically sick (I have had better nights in lol). I cried for what he and I used to have, what we had now, I cried for my son and how much it hurts to not have his dazzling smile and cheeky grin around the house, I cried for drought victims in Africa, for ADR, for friends I don't keep in touch with enough....you name I cried for it. But it was very cathartic and something I had not done before. I have gone back to the care industry and I am less stressed because my money situation is now fixable, I feel brighter and more 'me' than I have for a very long time.
I did need time away from here, I was becoming short tempered and not fun. But I feel balanced and more in control of my fingers on the keyboard.


Cat, lol thank you . Problem is I when I figure out the intricacies of what I want, i will want it NOW!! lol

Minx all I can say is OMG!! If that happened I would run very fast, very far away!

Rebecca.....you are a bad girl lol

Edit to add: Cutie, I have been following your latest adventures but I am lost a little in what happens now, could you give me the readers digest condensed version so I can catch up properly please?

 

[shy slave]

There is an upside to all this talking to new people.

Last night within a very long conversation a nice sadistic Dom made me cum wihout any touching of myself, just on his voice alone.

It was a surprise and not expected within the conversation we had been having, which was non-sexual.

Talked to him today, turns out he is an old man but has never done phone sex.



I had a virgin!!!

That makes me break out those damn dancing bananas



LOL

 

[minx1]

Agibean, thank you that is a good thought that i may be looking in the wrong place. Then again, who knows. I think I am ready to start slowly into a new potential relationship, but until i actually meet someone in person who makes my stomach sink and my mind craves to submit to him; I won't know.

Wenchie, I am sure I am not alone when I say I definitely think you are bursting out of your bubble. Look back on your early posts, my God woman you are a different, more confident, woman who is more at ease with who she actually is. Well, in my opinion anyway.

Cutie, I have missed being here. Things in life have changed alot. A week before he and I ended I cried for over 12 hours straight, including being physically sick (I have had better nights in lol). I cried for what he and I used to have, what we had now, I cried for my son and how much it hurts to not have his dazzling smile and cheeky grin around the house, I cried for drought victims in Africa, for ADR, for friends I don't keep in touch with enough....you name I cried for it. But it was very cathartic and something I had not done before. I have gone back to the care industry and I am less stressed because my money situation is now fixable, I feel brighter and more 'me' than I have for a very long time.
I did need time away from here, I was becoming short tempered and not fun. But I feel balanced and more in control of my fingers on the keyboard.


Cat, lol thank you . Problem is I when I figure out the intricacies of what I want, i will want it NOW!! lol

Minx all I can say is OMG!! If that happened I would run very fast, very far away!

Rebecca.....you are a bad girl lol

Edit to add: Cutie, I have been following your latest adventures but I am lost a little in what happens now, could you give me the readers digest condensed version so I can catch up properly please?

shy, I am so sorry... I didn't realise you had separated. Not that I could have helped much, but you offered me so much support when I went through the breakup with my Master.

Its really good to have you back and such good news that things have started to take a positive turn and that you are feeling happier

 

[shy slave]

shy, I am so sorry... I didn't realise you had separated. Not that I could have helped much, but you offered me so much support when I went through the breakup with my Master.

Its really good to have you back and such good news that things have started to take a positive turn and that you are feeling happier

minx - Thank you for such nice words.
I really did understand what you were going through when we spoke before.

I am happier than I was before, it is a relief to know what the situation is between him and I. Before I was dreading the inevitable end, but once it happened it was a strange sort of relief.

A relationship can only take so much grief. he was grieving his wife when we met. Within the time we were together my son and two uncles died, then his mother died. In the end other things overwhelm even the strongest of people

He and I still talk and email, but it is very very much over.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Shy, everything I've seen of you here makes me believe that you have a lot to offer to the right person when he turns up, whether it's today, next week, or in 2010, and that he will have everything you need to offer to you. Don't give up on yourself because one relationship broke down. Our lives are a series of events, some related, some not, but all offering us a chance to learn more about ourselves, and others, and how we interact with those others. Learn from what you had, and how you felt then, and how you feel now, and keep learning from each day, each person you come into contact with. I have faith that your time will come.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

first flies now dancing bananas , oh krap what's the number for 911 in the UK

Rebecca.....you are a bad girl lol

Why yes , yes I am . You do however adore me . Which is in my humble estimation , quite wise

Now back to less important things .You know Miss Shy , I bet you could fit like a ton of flies in a single glass jar sweetie.

Just sayun

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Speaking of flies in glass jars, that is exactly how I feel now that I am back looking. You know the mess of whirring activity that gets one nowhere.

But look on the bright side at least you've gotten out there. The last 2 "doms" I chatted with dripped from sight when it came time to meet and fess up. So far the score is BB-0 Assholes-2.

I have no intention of giving up with my quest but at my age I do sometimes feel a bit silly discussing bondage and impact play with a potential new partner.

Here is a big *hug* just for you and hopefully you will remember who you are...a somebody with quite a bit to offer if I'm still capable of reading people in between the lines so to speak.

Best of luck!!

 

[callinectes]

Flies? Frigging flies? Not the kind one ties and fishes with? I have no words.

And what exactly is a chained diaper?

 

[neonflux]

Oh Goddess, Shy!

Ditto-ing Cal below!

Among my favorite online stories is that of the very, very odd man who refused to tell me his age (never by itself a deal breaker for me) who claimed 60s when I finally met him, looked to be 70's and was the spitting image of my maternal grandfather and every uncle on that side of my family. I couldn't help it - usually tactful me blurted out, "You look exactly like my grandfather," before I could help myself and then couldn't take it back, LOL.

I say, enjoy yourself and keep kissing frogs - looking for a woman lover on serious dating sites, I had horrible luck with the exception of one woman whom I had to stop seeing when I got herpes.

Yet I met ~D when I was advertising solely for sex on Craig's List and he was only looking for same - didn't want to fall in love at the time and figured that playing with straight men was the one way to assure that.

It really does hit you on the head when you least expect it.

Neon

 

[Andraste]

shy, my dearist friend, who i love and adore...




bitch, if i'm not getting any then you shouldn't either!
4 goddamn years!!! and you think you have room to complain????
this weekend i'm going to whine the ears right off your head!




love you

 

[the captians wench]

Flies? Frigging flies? Not the kind one ties and fishes with? I have no words.

And what exactly is a chained diaper?

I had to read that twice, I thought it said "figging flies" and was going to ask how do you fig with a fly?

 

[RJMasters]

I had to read that twice, I thought it said "figging flies" and was going to ask how do you fig with a fly?

I think somone could do with a bit of sensory deprivation....

 

[saw_man1]

Silly Girl

thank you that is a good thought that I may be looking in the wrong place.

Of course you're looking in the wrong place. Don't you know that there are men over here that would love to get their hands on you!

Flies? Really? I was recently telling a friend that I have given up looking for "the one" and have settled into a series of someones. I've had some bad dates but none that compare to the fly story. I did have one woman tell me over our dinner salads that she thought that together, we could produce some gorgeous children. Thats just what every bachelor wants to hear on a first date.