Chase or Be Chased?

[John Doe]

I just read the whole thread and I'm left with a slight headache and a question.

I've had a lot of trouble with both. For one I am quite often oblivious to a woman's interest, but thanks to Lit I've been able to learn what some of the commonly used signals are. And chasing just makes me feel like I have to do all the work.

Okay, here's the question. Playing hard to get: WTF?!

 

[A Desert Rose]

I just read the whole thread and I'm left with a slight headache and a question.

I've had a lot of trouble with both. For one I am quite often oblivious to a woman's interest, but thanks to Lit I've been able to learn what some of the commonly used signals are. And chasing just makes me feel like I have to do all the work.

Okay, here's the question. Playing hard to get: WTF?!

Did someone say they were playing hard to get ... or what?

 

[John Doe]

Did someone say they were playing hard to get ... or what?

It was mentioned in the thread and it's just something I don't get and have been trying to figure out for a long time.

The main thing is, why?

 

[A Desert Rose]

It was mentioned in the thread and it's just something I don't get and have been trying to figure out for a long time.

The main thing is, why?

Well doll... playing hard to get. It's all in the phrase. ;-)

 

[John Doe]

Well doll... playing hard to get. It's all in the phrase. ;-)

Yes, it's a game. I don't understand the appeal from the female perspective.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yes, it's a game. I don't understand the appeal from the female perspective.

Well most ladies are taught that chasing a man is unattractive. And most ladies are taught to be coy.

I admit, I never initiate an IM with most men who are on my yahoo. I only send PMs to men who I know are my friends and know that I'm not interested in them, romantically. I would never send a PM to a man I was attracted to "in that way". So I guess I'm still kinda conditioned about what constitutes behaving like a lady.

And that can be called game-playing.

I don't play hard to get or engage in any of that kind of stuff. I'm not sure why a woman would.

Ah well... maybe I'm just too old for that kinda bullshit. LOL Search me.

 

[angel_girl]

Well most ladies are taught that chasing a man is unattractive. And most ladies are taught to be coy.

I admit, I never initiate an IM with most men who are on my yahoo. I only send PMs to men who I know are my friends and know that I'm not interested in them, romantically. I would never send a PM to a man I was attracted to "in that way". So I guess I'm still kinda conditioned about what constitutes behaving like a lady.

And that can be called game-playing.

I don't play hard to get or engage in any of that kind of stuff. I'm not sure why a woman would.

Ah well... maybe I'm just too old for that kinda bullshit. LOL Search me.

reminds me of a song by Tracy Chapman... "I'm too old to go chasin' you around, wastin' my precious energy."

Being discriminating and feeling things out isn't the same as playing hard to get. Playing hard to get is too time consuming. Chasing is hardly ever worth the effort. I'll put it out there, that I'm interested, but I get bored really quickly with games.

 

[callinectes]

Well most ladies are taught that chasing a man is unattractive. And most ladies are taught to be coy.

I admit, I never initiate an IM with most men who are on my yahoo. I only send PMs to men who I know are my friends and know that I'm not interested in them, romantically. I would never send a PM to a man I was attracted to "in that way". So I guess I'm still kinda conditioned about what constitutes behaving like a lady.

And that can be called game-playing.

I don't play hard to get or engage in any of that kind of stuff. I'm not sure why a woman would.

Ah well... maybe I'm just too old for that kinda bullshit. LOL Search me.

I resemble that post.

 

[John Doe]

Well most ladies are taught that chasing a man is unattractive. And most ladies are taught to be coy.

That is ironic, because in my experience a lot of men (including myself) would enjoy it if the woman made the first move. It breaks the ice and it takes a lot of pressure of us. And to me it doesn't mean she always has to be the chaser either.

I admit, I never initiate an IM with most men who are on my yahoo. I only send PMs to men who I know are my friends and know that I'm not interested in them, romantically. I would never send a PM to a man I was attracted to "in that way". So I guess I'm still kinda conditioned about what constitutes behaving like a lady.

And that can be called game-playing.

Or being yourself. Many times we do things out of habit that confuse even ourselves, because we're raised that way and/or it's expected of us by our partner or community.

What I mean by game-playing is a conscious effort to have fun. I'm okay with that, except when only one person knows the rules.

I don't play hard to get or engage in any of that kind of stuff. I'm not sure why a woman would.

Ah well... maybe I'm just too old for that kinda bullshit. LOL Search me.

I've been reading your posts and I like you, which is why I responded to you. I suppose I should ask women who enjoy it or find it beneficial somehow.

So far the only conclusion I've been able to reach with any frequency is Golden Pussy Syndrome or they just think they're hot shit in general, but that seems like an oversimplification.

And maybe my bullshit tolerance in general is just too damned low.

 

[A Desert Rose]

... I've been reading your posts and I like you, which is why I responded to you. I suppose I should ask women who enjoy it or find it beneficial somehow.

So far the only conclusion I've been able to reach with any frequency is Golden Pussy Syndrome or they just think they're hot shit in general, but that seems like an oversimplification.

And maybe my bullshit tolerance in general is just too damned low.

I like you too, which is why I posted to you... otherwise you'd be on ignore and I would never read your stuff. (I've gotten really good with the ignore feature LOL) I think you're astute and funny.

And in my a case, it's not a Golden Pussy SYNDROME... it's a fact, pal!!!

lol

 

[FurryFury]

I like you too, which is why I posted to you... otherwise you'd be on ignore and I would never read your stuff. (I've gotten really good with the ignore feature LOL) I think you're astute and funny.

And in my a case, it's not a Golden Pussy SYNDROME... it's a fact, pal!!!

lol

LMAO!

Is that the name of the James Bond film?

Fury

 

[A Desert Rose]

LMAO!

Is that the name of the James Bond film?

Fury

Yes, It was Pussy Galore meets Goldfinger

 

[John Doe]

I like you too, which is why I posted to you... otherwise you'd be on ignore and I would never read your stuff. (I've gotten really good with the ignore feature LOL) I think you're astute and funny.

Thanks, but wait a month. You'll think I'm a real prick or you'll at least wonder who stole my account.

And in my a case, it's not a Golden Pussy SYNDROME... it's a fact, pal!!!

lol

Well at least you're aware of it, and you have other things to offer as well.

 

[FurryFury]

Yes, It was Pussy Galore meets Goldfinger

Yeah! That was it.

Fury

 

[bashfull]

****wating to be chased***


Hmmm...bet I sit around for a long long time.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yes... it's a lonely place to be, ain't it?

 

[bashfull]

Yes... it's a lonely place to be, ain't it?

Well, appears when I do the chasing, the ladies just run all the faster. Is it playing hard to get if they leave town with no forwarding address?

 

[TikaRose]

To the original question of chase or be chased. I can be very flirty/aggressive. Half the time I do it without even realizing I'm doing it (part of the reason I'm not married now, lol). But there's a big difference (for me at least) when I'm actually interested in someone.

I love to be chased though. Not that it happens much.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

I'm interesting in a perfectly average way- trust me.

And good luck on convincing her otherwise.

 

[FurryFury]

To the original question of chase or be chased. I can be very flirty/aggressive. Half the time I do it without even realizing I'm doing it (part of the reason I'm not married now, lol). But there's a big difference (for me at least) when I'm actually interested in someone.

I love to be chased though. Not that it happens much.

I know what you mean about being flirty but there being a BIG dif when you are actually interested in someone. If I am really interested in someone, know they are in me as well and that something could really happen, I get as shy and quiet as can be. I blush a lot as well.

Fury

 

[neonflux]

****wating to be chased***


Hmmm...bet I sit around for a long long time.

chasing...

 

[neonflux]

No slings here. ;-)

The older I get, the more I value the female relationships I have. I've found there to be less competition and more joy and love in my friendships with women. And I'll open myself up to some slings - and arrows - because I think that comes with maturity and age.

My female friendships now are nothing like they were when I was a younger woman. And it's all for the better.

Edited to add: thank you for the compliment and might I add, I really like your AV, too. A lot. ;-)

Sorry for not responding sooner - two nights of almost all-nighters (how I'm still able to do that at 50, I'll never know) have kept me from the boards. And I so appreciate your mark about women - I also value my female friendships beyond belief!

 

[bashfull]

chasing...

*perk*

 

[papilllon]

Babbling...

I know what you mean about being flirty but there being a BIG dif when you are actually interested in someone. If I am really interested in someone, know they are in me as well and that something could really happen, I get as shy and quiet as can be. I blush a lot as well.

This is the way I react as well. It's not a game, but being in the company of a man I like will make me blush a lot and get shy... I have even been known to babble out of nervousness at times... Needless to say that a babble fest is a bit embarassing.

I prefer to be chased but when I like the chaser, I don't run around until the man drops out of exhaustion : I let him catch me! If I keep running, it's because the interest isn't there...

Papillon

 

[Bredon]

enjoy both, although find myself almost always being the chaser when it comes to women, even butch women. most queer women seem so afraid of rejection that they don't really know how to pursue!

Hi Isabella,

I'm a lurker on this forum since some days but I had to sign in when i read this one, just to reply -- I agree 100%
It's so weird when you go to these women only dances where they all *wait to be taken by their prince* even though
a) no princes there, only princesses (even the butches)
b) they are not into gender stereotypes-- right?--- RIGHT???!!
c) *when* you flirt with them they immediately think you want to marry them, or think you are a pervert and get angry-- naturally nobody *dares* to make the first step after a bunch of such reactions!!

Bredon