Changes and Getting Over It

[serijules]

The asking permission thread made me think of an interesting question. Everyone has different limits, different reactions and desires...what turns one person on is a huge turnoff to the next, etc. Some limits only exist in certain situations with certain people...

This question is for everyone, Doms and subs and switches alike...

Care to share a limit or an opinion on something that changed once you met the right person or experienced it in the right situation? What was it about that situation that made your opinion change? Do you have a fear or a dislike of something that you wish you could change, or are willing to try to overcome?


One opinion of mine that has 'grown' as i've learned more, is my general desire to participate in BDSM activities. When I first started out, all I was interested in was spanking and discipline. Anything beyound that seemed pretty 'taboo' to me. However, once I was exposed to more and more things and tried them, I ended up realizing that I have desires that are a lot heavier and kinkier than I ever imagined, and my willingness to explore them really surprised me and continues to surprise me.

The acceptance and friendly-ness of the people I met was a large contribution to what made my opinion change about BDSM in general compared to pure spanking play. I was able to explore at my own pace and be exposed to things only at the level I was comfortable with, and that was a huge factor in discovering my love of many aspects of bdsm.

One opinion that I would like to change is my feelings toward being in a collared relationship. After my first and only disatrous collar relationship, I was left with a lot of negative feelings about collars and committed relationships. I keep telling myself and others that I will never be in that type of relationship again, which sometimes I wish I didn't feel so strongly about because I think there is so much to offer and explore in a committed relationship rather than the casual play relationships that I have. With the right person and the right time, I think my own opinion on the matter will change a lot.

Another limit I have that bothers me is my dislike of ageplay and bratting. I can get downright nasty and snotty when I am around ageplay, it just squicks me out to no end, and most bratting annoys the hell out of me. However, I have a lot of friends both online and off that are into ageplay and bratting, and I think it would be a lot easier for me if I could learn to let the bratting and ageplaying roll off my shoulders sometimes instead of letting it annoy me and affect my attitude. I hate it when I'm bitchy *grin*

So, anyone else, care to share?

 

[maddi]

One Quick thing that changed was my opinion of how to perform oral sex. I was always in total control and had rules, etc about when, where and if I would do it. (I did like it, I didn't enjoy it)

It was all a trust issue. I found that I enjoy when I am commanded to satisfy him because I know that he is watching me and will never let me choke to death. I now love to be a slut in that area and even wish he would command it more.

The other opinion I have changed is about performing for him in front of other people. I totally thought about how awful it would be (I don't have a great body image) but now after learning more and listenting to him say how proud of me he is I would love to show him how well I could be shown off.

I have a long way to go....but I am trying.

Maddi

 

[Cirrus]

Ditto. I used to HATE giving head. It was never something I loved, but I had an ex that literally FORCED me to deepthroat him, although I can't and probably never will be able to. I can get most of the way, I can get past the uvula, but after that, forget it. Gag city. But he would grab my head and do it how HE wanted, regardless of my physical or emotional reaction.

After that it was something I grudgingly did but only as long as "necessary". I learned to like it with my ex-Dom who was very patient and communicative of what he liked, down to the letter. He also made sure he was very clean beforehand (I don't like body odor...my own or someone else's even if they're intimate with me). I liked knowing I wasn't obligated to do it and that he really enjoyed what I did. It eventually become something I grew to look forward to.

 

[bunny bondage]

damn, and i thought i'd be the first to post this. yeah, i used to really hate giving head. the taste, the gagging, the degradation, it was no fun at all. but with my current dom, i actually enjoy it and want to do it. because:

1. He's always showered, no man funk
2. He never makes me do it for too long
3. He strokes my hair and makes me feel loved
4. He REALLY likes it, and i just love pleasing Him!

so throw my "now i give head" post in with the others!

 

[LadyHeart]

The asking permission thread made me think of an interesting question. Everyone has different limits, different reactions and desires...what turns one person on is a huge turnoff to the next, etc. Some limits only exist in certain situations with certain people...

This question is for everyone, Doms and subs and switches alike...

Care to share a limit or an opinion on something that changed once you met the right person or experienced it in the right situation? What was it about that situation that made your opinion change? Do you have a fear or a dislike of something that you wish you could change, or are willing to try to overcome?

So, anyone else, care to share?

The one thing that has changed the most for me would have to be canes. Both on the giving and recieving end. When I first became active in the scene, I thought canes were over the top, beyond my scope of BDSM. Now I have a lust for canes. I love the way they feel in my hand and on my flesh. Now instead of the cane being the extreme of spanking/punishment/BDSM, I find them not a bit scary and 100% erotic.



LadyHeart

 

[Red Menace]

Yeah, canes for me too.

I was scared of the idea of canes... and single tails too... before I actually experienced them. I'd heard horror stories and wasn't too excited about being the reciepient of such "abusive treatment". Sir was very quick to push that limit in a way that He knew I'd enjoy it and now they're at the top of my list of favorite toys.

And don't tell Sir this, because He loves to take me where I'm afraid or insecure, but enemas have been moved off my "no" list and on to a "0 - not wanting to go there, may even loathe it, but willing if my partner wants it." But please... don't tell Him.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Yeah, canes for me too.

I was scared of the idea of canes... and single tails too... before I actually experienced them. I'd heard horror stories and wasn't too excited about being the reciepient of such "abusive treatment". Sir was very quick to push that limit in a way that He knew I'd enjoy it and now they're at the top of my list of favorite toys.

And don't tell Sir this, because He loves to take me where I'm afraid or insecure, but enemas have been moved off my "no" list and on to a "0 - not wanting to go there, may even loathe it, but willing if my partner wants it." But please... don't tell Him.

Too late! LOL

Eb <so do you think he as already seen this post?>

 

[SexyChele]

For me, it was anal sex. I'd had a few partners before my first Dom who didn't have the foggiest idea of what they were doing, and I was terrified of it. My first Dom was patient and understanding and truly helped to guide me in this area, and for that I am grateful.

As to things I fear but wish to try, I really don't have any. If I want to try something, I really don't fear or dislike it as I'm not sure how I will react. I know that I've talked to a couple of Dominants who wanted to help me "overcome" my limits against public play of any sort - but that is their problem, not mine.

 

[NemoAlia]

Diapers (I still don't enjoy them, but I will use them if I have to.)

Forced voyeurism (visually doesn't do much for me, but to hear it, or just to know about it, can be very exciting -- particularly if it's intentionally performed or told for me)