caveman/hair pulling/rough sex ?

[newbie_dom]

I met a woman and she told me "I like wild caveman sex... I like the man to take control. I like to have my hair grabbed and pulled tight and I like to be bitten but not too hard."

I've had savage urgent sex, but I've never had sex like this. I know she and I need to talk about this and communicate, but could someone tell where I should start trying to pleasure her like this ?

She has long beautiful hair. She is a gorgeous woman. I have visions of being a bit rough with her, like playfully throwing her down and fucking her hard, holding her head while I guide my cock in her mouth, that sort of thing. Pulling her hair while I take her from behind. Am I on the right track ?

I don't have ANY problem with that. I'm hard thinking about it. I just wonder where the boundaries are ?

Where can I bite her ? I love to bite... and then kiss and lick it better...

I know we should talk about this and we will. But I'd like to hear from women that like this sort of thing and learn what their limits are and from men, what its like for them.

I want to give her what she wants, but I don't want to hurt her and I also don't want to come off as a wuss.

This is a double post or whatever, btw. I posted over in Howto and they told me to come over here.

Thanks

 

[FurryFury]

You can't know what she means by what she said until and unless you have some good communication with her about it.

However, you can just pull her hair, lightly bite and see where that takes you. Personally, I'd want to get a better idea before I either did something that was too much or too little but experimenting should be done in the view of having fun IMO.

She needs a way to communicate with you what her specific interests and limits are, (and you to her) and during the sex or scene when she truly wants it to stop or slow down. Some like to use special words for this such as yellow for, slow down, and red for stop, so they can yell, "Oh, No! Stop!" and it not really mean stop.

All that needs to be part of your communication with the lady in question. Remember it's not just about what she wants but also what you want. If you are just mining her for information without giving some yourself that's a one way street IMO.

 

[A Desert Rose]

... I have visions of being a bit rough with her, like playfully throwing her down and fucking her hard, holding her head while I guide my cock in her mouth, that sort of thing. Pulling her hair while I take her from behind. Am I on the right track ? ...

Works for me, doll.

;-D

And then you should take Fury's advice. She knows best.

 

[FurryFury]

Works for me, doll.

;-D

And then you should take Fury's advice. She knows best.

*chuckles*



For you Miss Rose!

 

[A Desert Rose]

*chuckles*



For you Miss Rose!

For you back... because you know I'm always only teasing you.

Like my Mama told me... if you're teased, it means you're liked. ;-)

 

[the captians wench]

One thing I absolutely love is to be kissed, soft but deep, his hand slide up my head and around to both pig tails, causually wraps the long strands of hair in his hand, and then forcefully pulls my head sideways by my hair exposing my neck and bites down hard on the exposed flesh....*purr*

Of course I don't think any one has done it quite like that. Me personally, I love to be bitten, and bitten hard, almost to the point of drawling blood.

But you really won't know her limits till you talk to her.

 

[EmpressFi]

One thing I absolutely love is to be kissed, soft but deep, his hand slide up my head and around to both pig tails, causually wraps the long strands of hair in his hand, and then forcefully pulls my head sideways by my hair exposing my neck and bites down hard on the exposed flesh....*purr*

Of course I don't think any one has done it quite like that. Me personally, I love to be bitten, and bitten hard, almost to the point of drawling blood.

But you really won't know her limits till you talk to her.

I'm with you on this one. I have really long hair (to my ass) and I love it when while kissing he buries his hands in it and yanks it back and holds it there. I also love being bitten, I love looking in the mirror and seeing his marks all over me..and the pain of being bitten.. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[the captians wench]

I'm with you on this one. I have really long hair (to my ass) and I love it when while kissing he buries his hands in it and yanks it back and holds it there. I also love being bitten, I love looking in the mirror and seeing his marks all over me..and the pain of being bitten.. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

My hair is long enough again that I can put it in high pig tails and it still comes down low enough to almost completely cover my tits.

 

[EmpressFi]

My hair is long enough again that I can put it in high pig tails and it still comes down low enough to almost completely cover my tits.

It's great isnt it. I tease both husband and master that I'm going to cut it off.. but then I'd lose the pulling thing.. mine... I dont wear pigtails alot.. but a high ponytail reaches to the top of my jeans pocket

 

[the captians wench]

It's great isnt it. I tease both husband and master that I'm going to cut it off.. but then I'd lose the pulling thing.. mine... I dont wear pigtails alot.. but a high ponytail reaches to the top of my jeans pocket

I usually cut mine off to shoulder length every other christmas and donate it to Locks of Love. It's usually between 18"-22" long what I cut off. This christmas would be my cutting year, but I think I'm going to be a bit selfish and keep it a while longer. I'm enjoying the length too much.

 

[JMohegan]

I met a woman and she told me "I like wild caveman sex... I like the man to take control. I like to have my hair grabbed and pulled tight and I like to be bitten but not too hard."

I've had savage urgent sex, but I've never had sex like this. I know she and I need to talk about this and communicate, but could someone tell where I should start trying to pleasure her like this ?

My advice is to ditch the "How do I please her?" focus, and shift to a "There's a female in my bedroom and I'll take what's rightfully mine!" perspective instead.

She has long beautiful hair. She is a gorgeous woman. I have visions of being a bit rough with her, like playfully throwing her down and fucking her hard, holding her head while I guide my cock in her mouth, that sort of thing. Pulling her hair while I take her from behind. Am I on the right track ?

I don't have ANY problem with that. I'm hard thinking about it.

Congratulations.

Now stop thinking about it and go do what comes naturally.

Questions like "Is this ok?" or "Do you mind if.....?" have no place in a caveman's bedroom. Hesitation and doubt are your enemies. Your instinct is your friend.

I just wonder where the boundaries are ?

From a moral and legal perspective, you are bound to stop when she says stop and really means it.

If the actual word "stop" doesn't work for you two, pick another one. Then let yourself go, and don't cease till you hear it.

 

[Quint]

...........

 

[newbie_dom]

JMohegan, that is exactly why I asked here instead of her in the bedroom.

She doesn't want a soft guy... she wants a master. I'll give her a safeword and turn myself loose. She can tell me what she wants using her safeword.

Next question... she also says "And then there is the softer side of me...that loves cuddle sex, romantic sex..."

How do I balance the two ? A hard spanking until she is nearly in tears and then hold her softly, gently and transition into making soft tender love ?

 

[FurryFury]

I'd rarely want to talk about this sort of thing in the bedroom.

 

[TheBlackDahlia]

JMohegan, that is exactly why I asked here instead of her in the bedroom.

She doesn't want a soft guy... she wants a master. I'll give her a safeword and turn myself loose. She can tell me what she wants using her safeword.

Next question... she also says "And then there is the softer side of me...that loves cuddle sex, romantic sex..."

How do I balance the two ? A hard spanking until she is nearly in tears and then hold her softly, gently and transition into making soft tender love ?

Maybe she'll just be in the mood for something different on certain nights. Or if she wants them paired up, then that's probably the way to go.

 

[FurryFury]

There is no magic blue print for "caveman sex" or even "softer" sex because what one person is thinking of as being those things, the degree and intensity is different from what another person is thinking, not to mention the specific activities that could be involved. That's why, IMO, two way communication is so essential.

I've seen a number of people say they can't communicate for one reason or another. Often they say they fear topping from the bottom. I have to say bullshit. It's not just a good idea, it's your job to communicate with your partner. Expecting them to magically read your mind or "just know" is a lovely fantasy that is, in my opinion, simply immature. It's like playing sleeping beauty and waiting for your prince to wake you up. It can lead to a lot of disappointment and bitterness.

There is no way to find out what works with her truly, without a combination of discussion (preferably outside the bedroom) and playful trial and error. Just like any relationship, you just have to suss it out together.

A BDSM inventory interest list can be fun and educational to go through and compare your similar as well as dissimilar interests. Some complain it's hard work. I don't agree but I'm willing to work hard on a relationship worth having so maybe my idea of fun and hard work is a bit skewed.

 

[saw_man1]

There is no way to find out what works with her truly, without a combination of discussion (preferably outside the bedroom) and playful trial and error.

Great advise.
Whatever you decide to do; do it without hesitation. Be decisive and have some idea of where you are going. If you try something and it doesn't work just chalk it up to experience and move on.

 

[JMohegan]

JMohegan, that is exactly why I asked here instead of her in the bedroom.

She doesn't want a soft guy... she wants a master. I'll give her a safeword and turn myself loose. She can tell me what she wants using her safeword.

Next question... she also says "And then there is the softer side of me...that loves cuddle sex, romantic sex..."

How do I balance the two ? A hard spanking until she is nearly in tears and then hold her softly, gently and transition into making soft tender love ?

I repeat. Step 1 = ditch the "How do I please her?" focus.

If you're pounding away and your mood shifts to the tender, then by all means let that new, softer mood dictate the style and pace of your passion.

 

[JMohegan]

I JMohegan.

I heart you, too.

 

[Softouch911]

JMohegan has given you excellent advice. Read it again for starters!

Some technical help that may make it easier for you to get "rough" if you like the biting/hitting scenario --

Bite large muscle mass ... stories make it sound like the neck is fun, but the marks are public and if you get too eager there's more plumbing in the area than if you are on a bicep, tricep, shoulder, ass, thigh, calf, etc.

Hit the same areas, for the same reasons. Resistance play can be fun ... sounds like she may want to fight back a bit -- you can whale into each other pretty much full force if you hit with the fat of your hands (on the heels) rather than with knuckles, and hit face to face -- like yelling into each other's faces -- as you hit on the upper pecs (between shoulder and mid-chest/breast) -- you know, like y ou did on the playground in fourth grade!

Grappling is fun. And if her hair is long, grab a big bunch of it (not a few strands) and yank her around if you can.

Some people love face slapping. Obviously, take it easy. It's more the psychological impact than how jarring it is. If you cup your hand, it doesn't take much to make it "pop" and sound harder than it really was. We (me and my girl) often start a resistance scene with me grabbing her hands, holding them over her head, yelling in her face, and slapping her. (It throws her into submission if I do it right. If it's too hard, too much of a surprise, she can go off into a rage ... and that's okay too, but you're the one in control, so be ready to react to her whatever she does.)

On all of these, start slow, light, and easy. Do what YOU want and watch her. If she safewords stop, obviously. But you can delay or prevent that by watching her eyes and using her emotions as your guide. At first she won't be sure she can trust you to handle her, yourself, etc.

Once she gets to trust you, you can both pretty much let go ... so long as YOU stay under control, as that will always be part of your job as the top.

I hope this helps. None of this is gospel, of course, but it's my experience as a lover of resistance play.

Best wishes,
ST

 

[Sprinkles22]

*deep sigh* This thread is making me horny

 

[newbie_dom]

I sent her an email with this.

======================================
I know what you need. Enough Mr. Nice Guy.

Your safe word is RED.

Your caution word is YELLOW.

I want to see you before I leave for the weekend.
=====================================

She replied:
=====================================
You know what I need do you??? Here's an idea of what I would like....I
would love to be walking down a dark alley (or hall way may work) and have a
man (who I'm interested in) attack me from behind, push me against the wall,
grab me by my hair, whispering in my ear what he's going to do to
me....mmmmmmm.
=====================================

 

[FurryFury]

I sent her an email with this.

======================================
I know what you need. Enough Mr. Nice Guy.

Your safe word is RED.

Your caution word is YELLOW.

I want to see you before I leave for the weekend.
=====================================

She replied:
=====================================
You know what I need do you??? Here's an idea of what I would like....I
would love to be walking down a dark alley (or hall way may work) and have a
man (who I'm interested in) attack me from behind, push me against the wall,
grab me by my hair, whispering in my ear what he's going to do to
me....mmmmmmm.
=====================================

Proceed with caution. Sounds like she wants to get you arrested. I'd have to say yellow if I were you. It's a common fantasy though.

 

[Softouch911]

As Fury says, whatever you do, don't do it where you can get "caught" by someone who isn't in on the scene -- it's nonconsensual for them, and plain dangerous for the both of you.

And for the scene itself ... I'd be a little miffed by her description -- why on earth would she think she can tell me how to run the "moment"? Do I want to give her what she wants? If she wants it rough, she's gonna have to deal with what she gets when she gets it ... I mean surprise her, if she really wants to be "taken."

But, on the other hand, her description is unfinished ... I wonder why? It's pretty vague ... do you know one another well enough? You really really don't want an assault charge ... or dealing with a woman you've freaked out and given the heebie jeebies.

Maybe some nice long talks? A writing assignment for her? Be sure of her limits, and your own, before you get into this. Then take it in your direction so she has to be out of control.

Have fun.
ST

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

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