Capturing the moment

[GuiltyPleasure]

My favourite poets are able to make poetry from moments glimpsed, like this one by Billy Collins. I'm surprised at the quantity of "and"s he uses but I think it doesn't detract - even add to the simplicity of the telling.

Love

The boy at the far end of the train car
kept looking behind him
as if he were afraid or expecting someone

and then she appeared in the glass door
of the forward car and he rose
and opened the door and let her in

and she entered the car carrying
a large black case
in the unmistakable shape of a cello.

She looked like an angel with a high forekead
and somber eyes and her hair
was tied up behind her neck with a black bow,

And because of all that
he seemed a little awkward
in his happiness to see her,

whereas she was simply there,
perfectly existing as a creature
with a soft face who played a cello.

And the reason I am writing this
on the back of a manila envelope
now that they have left the train together

is to tell you that when she turned
to lift the large, dark cello
onto the overhead rack,

I saw him looking up at her
and what she was doing
the way the eyes of a saint are painted

when they are looking up at God
when he is doing something remarkable,
something that identifies him as God.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

This could be a challenge............

OK - I challenge any poet interested to write a "captured moment" and post it in this thread. No time of posting, style or length restrictions.

 

[Maria2394]

Tess,

Thank you for posting that poem!!

It is so nice to see an uncomplicated poem without someone calling it crap.

It IS a lovely poem, and not everything has to be complicated, right?

It sort of reminds me of the style of more than a couple of poets here at Lit.

I agree, that would be a great challenge, sort of like the one Eve did, looking out a window...I think that was Eve.... I still remember that pic, at an intersection, what do you see? Only in your case, it woud be what DID you see....

anyway...sorry if I clogged up your thread here



I have that song from the other thread stuck in my head now too!!

 

[Maria2394]

the value in a pause

is a chance offered to notice the curve
of a woman's stocking'd leg
the way her hips rise from the mouth
of high-heeled leather boots

stop

she is wearing a skirt, look up
further
no panties?
such a dirty mind but what is the harm?

the value in a pause

another opportunity
to see a winter flower's bloom
when the sun has risen and set
by early afternoon, do you notice
the slender slant of her thorny stem?
and the manner in which it attaches
to her firm rose hips


stop

she only resembles a woman
to think impure thoughts of a flower
is absurd

however,
rose wears no panties
and her bra is loosed
too cold too cling much longer
her petals fly to wind

stop
notice
file for future use
in a poem, idle chat
an email to a lover or
an unrelated
guess what bloomed
in my garden this morning
story

.....stop








tess, I considered writing this this morning, but didnt get down to it till I read your challenge, does this count?

if not, I will delete it, okay?/

hugs

m

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Don't you dare delete it, it fits the format perfectly.


Sorry - I'm humming it right now.

 

[Tzara]

Tramping about Tokyo in Spring

At that last decisive moment,
his massive, scaly foot held high
over a lowly strip mall
of T-shirt shops and restaurants
selling sushi none too fresh
and western coffee and cigarettes,
he paused and thought
his reptile thoughtless thought
about his rage against the city,
its lack of flowers but in parks,
the crammed buses and the subway
always teeming with those small things
that kept getting in his way
(here he swatted off a rocket)
and he began to think of I,
I that am Gojira, why am I
so destructive? Why all this rage?
Why am I here, now, in this narrow
island place? What is my purpose?
What is the fuck my life about?

And in this pause, he divined nothing,
so kept on and crushed the cell phone store.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

This could be a challenge............

OK - I challenge any poet interested to write a "captured moment" and post it in this thread. No time of posting, style or length restrictions.

I like Billy... (~_~)
I'll toss this in for now and allow me time to scribble something new <grin

ZMP~ the sound of sunshine
by My Erotic Tale ©


The sound of sunshine
fills my soul
with harmonious music
in bright audio.

Bursting through clouds
like violin strings
long and thin
then disappearing.

The rain drops tap
and sparsely tease
like the melody of fingers
over piano keys.

I bask in the light
of this tempo and chime
a solar song,
the sound of sunshine.

 

[Angeline]

I think all the best poems capture moments. The ones that try to portray too much are either very long (albeit sometimes very good) or end up a morass of vague platitudes.

Anyway, I already wrote my moment poem. Okay my favorite one. It really does capture a moment (yeah imho lol), but if you watch the film, you'll understand.

Lady's Blues in Winter


PS The film link is a jazz treasure, PoeTess. Check it out.

 

[champagne1982]

the extinction of the baiji

current washing over white
flesh mottled with the slough
of industry, sullied home
through whir and dirt, a place
of never quiet enough to hear
to sense the echoes back
of shiny scales and succulence

raise no more to breathe
pass through that once sweet
element that carried you through
conception, birth, life now bears
you in its embrace into eternal
nothing, gone and no more
will the like of you bless
this Yellow River

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Thanks to Maria, Tzara, Art, Ange (love the film, thanks) and Carrie (so sad, beautiful creatures) for contributing.

Dog on the Paper Route

I know he woke to dark
this winter morning
careful not to wake the sleeping house
he eats toast as he dresses for the cold
and loads the bulk of paper
into the canvas bag

Once outside the seed of fear
settles in his throat
and he swallows it even
as his boots ring out on the deserted road

Twelve and on the threshold
of manhood he’s proud of this
first responsibility but dogs still scare him
even if a door is between them
the way it growls at his timid intrusion
The bag is lighter now but not the sky
and he pauses a moment for courage
knowing it is waiting

 

[eagleyez]

Gary Snyder has always been one of my favorite voices in terms of "capturing moments."

Old Bones

Out there walking round, looking out for food,
a rootstock, a birdcall, a seed that you can crack
plucking, digging, snaring, snagging,
barely getting by,

no food out there on dusty slopes of scree—
carry some—look for some,
go for a hungry dream.
Deer bone, Dall sheep,
bones hunger home.

Out there somewhere
a shrine for the old ones,
the dust of the old bones,
old songs and tales.

What we ate—who ate what—
how we all prevailed.

from Mountains and Rivers Without End, published by Counterpoint Press, 1996.

 

[The_Fool]

Capture the moment. Seems that is all I ever try to do and usually fail.....

 

[beautyandwine]

Hmm, I'll give it a shot...

Lying with You
by beautyandwine ©

my fingers curl
in silken strands
caress your neck
our eyes
inches apart
your voice
whispering assurances
your leg
draping my hips
melting away
the chill.

 

[OT]

a moment

sip'n warm
just one
then another

warm swirled comfort
sipped one at a time
'til many
'til late

sip'd comfort
sip'd warm
sip'd late
warm sipped comfort

warm sip'd comfort
traded
for warm

 

[champagne1982]

sip'n warm
just one
then another

warm swirled comfort
sipped one at a time
'til many
'til late

sip'd comfort
sip'd warm
sip'd late
warm sipped comfort

warm sip'd comfort
traded
for warm

How nice to see your wooden 'ead... Merry merry and happy all that.

 

[champagne1982]

First Dawn After Solstice

Another moment of being buried in the darkness
slips unannounced through this sleep, remarked
in nature with the coming of an earlier morning.
The world doesn't turn faster; it's all a grand
illusion, an elaborate stage for a magician
whose audience pleasers never fail to stir
an ovation from this jaded cluster of clowns.
Applaud the herald as it rises in the east.
A seeming warmer dawn today and every one,
repeated in the cycle of a topsy-turvy sphere.
As sure as spring will come, winter will not last.

 

[vampiredust]

Pause

You see so much in a pause,
the stopping of movement, that carrier
of language. Words, both visible
and invisible, are suspended until you
let go and resume the scene.

I have tried this once, watching
a herd of train carriages stop
for a second as it passed a large hill,
which became a giant, stooping
down to watch us looking at it.

And then when everything resumed,
there was the image cocooned
in my head, waiting to be let out
and lay its eggs on the page.

 

[vampiredust]

-----

 

[FifthFlower]

Hands

When clouds and moods are grey
And rain seems here to stay,
Then hold my hand.
But if I'm in your way,
And you would rather play
With someone else today,
I'll understand.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Couple

As the bus passed
I saw him stroke her face
as she stared vacantly out
and gently tuck a stray
strand of gray hair
under her toque.
In that small gesture
were heart break and
years of love.

 

[horsie_gurl]

This is it.
Take a breath.
Don't waste all the plans and chicken out now.
Why would you want to stay anyway?
Everyone hates you here.
No one to love you ever.
This is your one chance to shove it in their faces.
Deeper breath this time
In an instant it should all be over.
No pain.
No regrets.




I'm sorry this is shitty. When you say poetry of a moment, i get this broad image of a scene of something i would love to express to everyone. But i go to write, i want to focus on things like the eyes of the person, the emotions, the fingers, the scene but i can't. I must be in the wrong section. I'm better at drawing my scenes then writing them.