cant orgasm

[nate94gt]

Hi im new, just got a quick question here...
whenever i have any sexual relations w/a chick, i cant have an orgasm. For example, tonight we had sex 2 times, for about over an hour each, and i was never able to have an orgasm, so afterwards she gave me a bj and i still didnt. Its really bothering me and im sure its bothering her, too... what can i do? I'm on my third day of no masturbation.... any tips?

 

[Ms_Lilith]

my ex-fiance had that problem for a while. First, how long have you been together? It could be that you're nervous (subconsciously) of not being good enough, or lasting long enough, or whatever. You might also have a subconscious fear of impregnating her (this was my ex's problem). Until he and I were together about 8 months, I couldn't get him to cum from a bj or a hand job. He lasted HOURS upon HOURS having sex, and finally would have to jerk himself off after I was laying in bed, a puddle of Vixen.

Relax. Know that you are pleasing her, and that you are enjoying what you're doing. Go with the flow. If you're afraid of making her pregnant, use protection (I use both birth control and condoms). Talk to her about it. Let her know that it bothers you (do this OUTSIDE of the bedroom setting). Maybe you two can slow down and experiment and learn what you like... or maybe you can do other, sensual but not sexual things to help relax you first, and then go ahead with lovemaking.

 

[Twilightthiefxx]

Just relax
I can't cum with a blowjob or jacking off but once I am in my wife I cum hard
Maybe it's the situations or positions?

 

[alexandraaah]

Can you bring yourself to orgasm when you masturbate?

 

[DuckLover]

I sometimes have a similar issue. I've only cum from a bj once, and rarely from handjobs (it takes some SERIOUS speed). Even intercourse isn't a sure bet, though I found missionary to be the best position for that purpose. Some of it also depends on the woman; some women just have a vagina that provides more stimulation.

I'm very fortunate that my current partner is a counseling grad student and is taking classes on this very subject right now. I'm looking forward to learning from her!

 

[alphacat]

if you're on any medications....

Some medications can cause problems orgamsing.....

 

[PaulX35]

Between the thighs & between the ears

Apart from use of medication and physical troubles causing inability to orgasm, most cases are more between the ears than between the thighs. Fear to impregnate, fear to cum too soon, fear to not do things right, it's one big line up of possibilities really, and men are real good at letting them fester inside their minds without bringing it up and solve it in ways that are often remarkably easy in retrospect.

Maybe it helps to try and masturbate with your gf present? That way you have control over yourself and you could nonetheless "show" her that you are able to orgasm. You'd have to talk this through a bit though, to not make your gf insecure and thinking it's her who is causing the problem.

Talking is often the remedy to reduce insecurities; I wouldn't worry too much. If you two care for each other there must be ways to get you cumming, I'd say.

Good luck

Paul