Canadian Jokes

[NOIRTRASH]

Four Canadian students went to Florida for spring break. While sitting in the Jacuzzi a big gob of cum popped to the surface of the water. WHO FARTED! All wanted to know.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

A Canadian guy is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women.
] Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of these women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?"
"Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very queekly zees way."
"Wow! Thanks!" says the guy, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies.
So he goes back to the French guy. "I'm sorry to bother you again," he says, "but I went to the store. I got the swimsuit, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl."
"Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what to do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very queekly zees way."
"Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him. After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to the Frenchman.
"Look," he says. "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach - and still nothing! What more can I do?"
"Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle bit. Why don't you try moving zee potato to the front of the sweeming suit?"

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Q: Whats the difference between a smart Canadian and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Q: What does a Canadian girl do after she sucks cock?
A: Spits out the feathers.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Q: How do you know you're in Canada, not Haiti?
A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

 

[albertaboy]

AS a Canadian, I apologize.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

AS a Canadian, I apologize.

You don't have to. These are funny. We have Canadian neighbors and motel most years with a lot of Canadians.
We get free beer and steaks just for letting them stare at my wife in low tops. They can't be all bad!

 

[albertaboy]

You don't have to. These are funny. We have Canadian neighbors and motel most years with a lot of Canadians.
We get free beer and steaks just for letting them stare at my wife in low tops. They can't be all bad!

Apologizing was a joke.

I can explain it, we collectively are very polite and say sorry a lot even when we know things weren't our fault.

 

[thør]

Apologizing was a joke.

I can explain it, we collectively are very polite and say sorry a lot even when we know things weren't our fault.

Apologizing for apologizing.

Those quaint Canadians!

 

[albertaboy]

Apologizing for apologizing.

Those quaint Canadians!

Being Alaskan, you would understand...almost

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Every day, at Burger-Brewskies, we laugh our asses off at Canadians.

 

[thør]

http://i.cbc.ca/1.3483161.1457534491!/fileImage/httpImage/image.JPG_gen/derivatives/16x9_620/fish-fire-hydrant-aylesford.JPG

And this, is what Canadians use to try to put out fires.

 

[firefighter12]

http://i.cbc.ca/1.3483161.1457534491!/fileImage/httpImage/image.JPG_gen/derivatives/16x9_620/fish-fire-hydrant-aylesford.JPG

And this, is what Canadians use to try to put out fires.

No, we use the exisiting fire to cook the fish.....THEN put it out.