Can You Tell Me.......

[LovelySlave]

I am new to the BDSM world and have recently found my Master. We are planning a permanent full time Master/slave relationship, and I am relocating very soon to be with him. I have thought long and hard about this decision (it is the only one he will allow me) and it has been a somewhat rocky road to arrive here. He does not know I am writing this and were he to find out I believe the punishment would be quite harsh. He is quite strict(but very understanding of my level of experience), and demands complete submission and obedience from me, to the point where he has told me to give him my oath. My oath must consist of all the things that as his slave I am bound by.

For example; my complete loyalty, honesty and devotion. I must submit to his will, I must obey his commands without hesitation, I must remember my place as his slave and that my status is beneath him, I have no thoughts of my own unless my master wishes it, He must be my first priority above and beyond all others including my family and friends. I have no limits that my master does not set for me himself. He owns me completely; my body, my heart, and my mind. All my possessions become his....which brings me to the reason for this ..... (this is not the limit of what my Master demands of me... but you get the idea).

What I would like to know first of all is; is this common among Master's/Dom's to request such a thing? I would be interested to hear from Master's/Dom's and any other sub's/slave's if they have requested/given such a document.

The second thing I would like to know is how legaly binding is such a document? If I have property in my name eg. motor vehicle or real estate where my name is on the title/deeds when it comes to the legalities what right does my Master have to those properties based on my written oath.

I do not ask this question because I wish to withhold anything from my Master but more to protect other members of my family from losing what is rightfully theirs based on a decision I make for myself.

This post is not a criticism of my master,though it may seem like it since I am writing without his knowledge or permission, on the contrary I am loyal and devoted to him. I have made my choice and I stand by it and him, and I am prepared to accept the consequences of this decision. I am simply seeking another view point and some knowledge.

If you have criticisms against my Master for what he demands of me or myself for making such a choice, please don't bother posting them, I am not interested in snide critical comments, but rather I would like to hear genuine honest responses.

 

[reignophelia]

I am new to the BDSM world and have recently found my Master. We are planning a permanent full time Master/slave relationship, and I am relocating very soon to be with him. I have thought long and hard about this decision (it is the only one he will allow me) and it has been a somewhat rocky road to arrive here. He does not know I am writing this and were he to find out I believe the punishment would be quite harsh. He is quite strict(but very understanding of my level of experience), and demands complete submission and obedience from me, to the point where he has told me to give him my oath. My oath must consist of all the things that as his slave I am bound by.

For example; my complete loyalty, honesty and devotion. I must submit to his will, I must obey his commands without hesitation, I must remember my place as his slave and that my status is beneath him, I have no thoughts of my own unless my master wishes it, He must be my first priority above and beyond all others including my family and friends. I have no limits that my master does not set for me himself. He owns me completely; my body, my heart, and my mind. All my possessions become his....which brings me to the reason for this ..... (this is not the limit of what my Master demands of me... but you get the idea).

What I would like to know first of all is; is this common among Master's/Dom's to request such a thing? I would be interested to hear from Master's/Dom's and any other sub's/slave's if they have requested/given such a document.

The second thing I would like to know is how legaly binding is such a document? If I have property in my name eg. motor vehicle or real estate where my name is on the title/deeds when it comes to the legalities what right does my Master have to those properties based on my written oath.

I do not ask this question because I wish to withhold anything from my Master but more to protect other members of my family from losing what is rightfully theirs based on a decision I make for myself.

This post is not a criticism of my master,though it may seem like it since I am writing without his knowledge or permission, on the contrary I am loyal and devoted to him. I have made my choice and I stand by it and him, and I am prepared to accept the consequences of this decision. I am simply seeking another view point and some knowledge.

If you have criticisms against my Master for what he demands of me or myself for making such a choice, please don't bother posting them, I am not interested in snide critical comments, but rather I would like to hear genuine honest responses.

Well, I can only imagine what everyone else is going to say. I understand that we all talk about complete D/s - giving up complete control. I think a lot of it comes down to who it is, and what type of person you are giving up this control.

Are you still going to be able to contact your family? Part of me is concerned for you in that I'm kind of wondering if this might hinge on emotionally/psychologically abusive.
Another part of me is thinking that it seems kind of contradictory for you to say that you'll be putting him above your family (as per his requirement), but then worrying about where your posessions (which would really be his right?) would end up. In other words, have you really thought all of this through? Does it all make sense and feel "kosher"?

In any event, I don't think said document would carry much weight in court unless notarized or somehow made legal. You may want to check the archives. I believe there was a thread a few months back regarding D/s contracts.

I absolutely wish you the best of luck. Take care.

-Ophelia

 

[subwannabe]

I'm not an attorney but I would also think that other than between the two of you, it would be a worthless piece of paper. Right now it is your name on the deed and your name on the title so no one else has legal rights to it other than you. But, what about the possibility that your master demands that you also put his name on the deed, on the title to your car, and his name on all of your accounts? Are you prepared for that? I know this can be a highly exciting and erotic thing but I can't also help from the tone of your post that maybe you are getting in over your head. To me, a relationship like this involves a whole lotta trust and already you are having doubts about what will happen to your property if the shit hits the fan. I don't know him but I can foresee the possibility that he could get some very damaging things on you, such as videos, and use them to blackmail you into not only being his slave, but getting your property too. I know this would be very erotic too but this may very well fall into the category of, "Be careful what you wish for". Are you prepared to lose all of your family and friends, just for this one relationship? I would love such a relationship as you seek myself but if the price is too high it is not worth it. Did it also occur to you that as his slave it would be your obligation to accept that he have other slaves in the relationship as well, and that all of them would have to submit their wills, property, and family and friends to him as well? (I.E. your relationship would not be exclusive)

 

[CutieMouse]

I am new to the BDSM world and have recently found my Master. We are planning a permanent full time Master/slave relationship, and I am relocating very soon to be with him. I have thought long and hard about this decision (it is the only one he will allow me) and it has been a somewhat rocky road to arrive here. He does not know I am writing this and were he to find out I believe the punishment would be quite harsh. He is quite strict(but very understanding of my level of experience), and demands complete submission and obedience from me, to the point where he has told me to give him my oath. My oath must consist of all the things that as his slave I am bound by.

(The practical person in me really wants to ask a lot of questions aboout this, but I'm going to sit on my hands.)

For example; my complete loyalty, honesty and devotion.

Expecting complete honesty, trust, and devotion - pretty common.

I must submit to his will, I must obey his commands without hesitation,

Obeying without hesitation- IMO not necessarily realistic. What happens if he happens to give you a contradictory command? (it happens)

I must remember my place as his slave and that my status is beneath him,

Your status is beneath him? As in you are less than him? - I'd say that's rather uncommon, as most Dominant/Master types I know don't want to be with someone they think less of.

I have no thoughts of my own unless my master wishes it

I'd say this is unusual... it happens, but isn't very common (IMO). My question is how does that work? (the degree of micromanagement boggles the mind... ) Either y'all are on the exact same wavelength 24/7 and looking for the exact same thing, or I'd define that as a recipe for disaster. (in my universe, it would be the latter.)

He must be my first priority above and beyond all others including my family and friends.

Umm... red flag. Huge, big, honking red flag with sparklers on top.

I have no limits that my master does not set for me himself.

This depends on what you've negotiated... if you have a "no limits" relationship, in thatyou're desires, interests, etc are so well matched, that you don't need to worry he'll ask you to do XYZ extreme activity that would risk your sfaety- fine. If he's expecting you to simply give up all common sense, and has convinced you that you must submit to acts you'd find abusive, because y'all are "Master/slave"... it's BS.

He owns me completely; my body, my heart, and my mind.

Kinda common... when I have a Lover, I consider *all* of me to "belong" to them. I do, however, trust them to not "break their toy" - which is why I'm picky about Lovers.

All my possessions become his....which brings me to the reason for this ..... (this is not the limit of what my Master demands of me... but you get the idea).

If all of your posessions become his, what measures is he taking to ensure your financial security should something go wrong, y'all break up, or he dies unexpectedly? How will he provide for you?

What I would like to know first of all is; is this common among Master's/Dom's to request such a thing? I would be interested to hear from Master's/Dom's and any other sub's/slave's if they have requested/given such a document.

Personally, I'd not feel safe with such an expectation.

The second thing I would like to know is how legaly binding is such a document?

It isn't.

If I have property in my name eg. motor vehicle or real estate where my name is on the title/deeds when it comes to the legalities what right does my Master have to those properties based on my written oath.

I believe you'd have to legally sign each piece of property over to him - actually take your name off the car title and have it put in his name, for example.

I do not ask this question because I wish to withhold anything from my Master but more to protect other members of my family from losing what is rightfully theirs based on a decision I make for myself.

I honestly can not think of any Master/Dom I know, who would damage their sub/slave's familial relationships to this extent.

This post is not a criticism of my master,though it may seem like it since I am writing without his knowledge or permission, on the contrary I am loyal and devoted to him. I have made my choice and I stand by it and him, and I am prepared to accept the consequences of this decision. I am simply seeking another view point and some knowledge.

I fail to see criticism in any of your comments; I see a thinking individual, attempting to ensure her safety and happiness. Although if you've made your decision, I do question what good it does asking the questions, as these are some pretty heavy concepts... it seems to me this sort of research is best done *before* reaching said decision. (Your tone leads me to beleive you've agreed to these things, already... or have at least decided you're going to agree to them.)

If you have criticisms against my Master for what he demands of me or myself for making such a choice, please don't bother posting them, I am not interested in snide critical comments, but rather I would like to hear genuine honest responses.

I have attempted to answer as respectfully as possible, if I failed in that task, my apologies...

 

[S_D_R_R]

Master's responsibility to you

A MS relationship requires giving from both sides.

There seems to be little question about you giving your obedience.

Personally, I'd make sure to leave an escape path so I could get out of the relationship should I have to (heaven forbid).

Many people write down an agreement for how to end the relationship, e.g. the conditions which can justify ending the relationship, what you take with you, how long he provides for you after deciding to end the relationship, etc.

See a lawyer; You can easily have legal problems with "Pre-nuptial" (yes, I know you're not getting married) agreements. They can be similar to same sex spouse problems, can be very complex, and the rules can change in the future.

This is most important for a slave. If they decide the relationship must end, and they have given up their negotiating rights, what protection do they have? If they still believed in/trusted their master, they wouldn't be ending the relationship.

So, you should do any negotiating you think is needed up front before you surrender power.


Most Important:

What you also need to be sure of is the second side -- Master's commitment to the welfare of his slave.

Do you really, Really, REALLY trust him? If you give him total control, then he also gets total responsibility for your growth, health, happiness, total well being.

Many may see "red flags" here that would make them question your master's commitment to you.

A true master will always be doing what's best for the slave. That's what it takes for voluntary slavery to work. Are you 1000% sure Master will always do you right?

Remember the "E" in TPE (Total Power Exchange). It's not an exchange if he isn't giving you everything you need -- which is a lot more than just food and roof!

 

[m wisdom]

Would you mind explaining a bit more about how your family could lose "what is rightfully theirs"? If the property belongs to you and not them then how can they lose it? Or do you mean that you own the house they live in?

My advise is that you give/sign over everything that you want your family to keep before you turn yourself over to your master. Even if I don't think that such a document would carry much legal weight.

If we on the other hand is talking about things you want them to inherit then set up a fund that can handle all of that and sign over the property to it. That way your family's inheritance will be protected.


You post is also putting up a few red flags but since you didn't want any comments on your relationship I'll refrain from it. Just be careful.

 

[LovelySlave]

Well, I can only imagine what everyone else is going to say. I understand that we all talk about complete D/s - giving up complete control. I think a lot of it comes down to who it is, and what type of person you are giving up this control.

Are you still going to be able to contact your family? Part of me is concerned for you in that I'm kind of wondering if this might hinge on emotionally/psychologically abusive.
Another part of me is thinking that it seems kind of contradictory for you to say that you'll be putting him above your family (as per his requirement), but then worrying about where your posessions (which would really be his right?) would end up. In other words, have you really thought all of this through? Does it all make sense and feel "kosher"?

In any event, I don't think said document would carry much weight in court unless notarized or somehow made legal. You may want to check the archives. I believe there was a thread a few months back regarding D/s contracts.

I absolutely wish you the best of luck. Take care.

-Ophelia

Hi Ophelia, thanks for responding. He has no problem with me contacting my family at all, in fact he is keen to become a part of my family. I have thought about the possibility of emotional/phsychological abuse and it's something we have discussed.

I am not worried about giving what I currently have to him but the reason I ask this now is that my mother wishes to put my name on the deed to her farm, effectively giving me half of it. My concern is that she loses half of what she has worked so hard for because of a decision I have made for myself.

I have thought long and hard about this and we have spent many hours talking, and I assure you it took some time to make this decision, it was certainly not easy, but I am easy with my choice now.

Thank you for the suggestion of the archives. I will look into it. And thanks for your good wishes.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I am new to the BDSM world and have recently found my Master. We are planning a permanent full time Master/slave relationship, and I am relocating very soon to be with him. I have thought long and hard about this decision (it is the only one he will allow me) and it has been a somewhat rocky road to arrive here.

I wonder at your age from your words, and if you are young and relatively inexperienced in relationships as a whole, as well as BDSM, I would caution you to think a lot harder and further than the next month or two before going into this type relationship...this is especially so in my mind given you say it has been a rocky road to get to this point. If you mean that it has been rocky with this particular person, please make sure you know your own mind, capabilites, and desires before being drawn into something which may be more fantasy than reality long term. And please don't take offence at my words as I live in a 24/7 TPE Master/slave relationship myself and have so for just over 5 years...and it is not possible to change my mind and leave, nor change the status of the relationship but I was fortunate to have a lot of life experience and self knowledge before committing to it, and also choosing someone I knew I could trust when it counted most..he has since proven I was right in this judgement of his character.

He does not know I am writing this and were he to find out I believe the punishment would be quite harsh. He is quite strict(but very understanding of my level of experience), and demands complete submission and obedience from me, to the point where he has told me to give him my oath.

This point concerns me because by saying he does not know you are posting and you have no doubt his punishment would be harsh if he discovered it says to me that already you are not appreciating the depth and seriousness to what you are committing yourself to. If you are going to commit to someone who demands these standards and rules, I suspect they are not treating it as a game and something you can choose to switch on and off, hence posting without their knowledge is already breaching your commitment.

My oath must consist of all the things that as his slave I am bound by.

For example; my complete loyalty, honesty and devotion. I must submit to his will, I must obey his commands without hesitation, I must remember my place as his slave and that my status is beneath him, I have no thoughts of my own unless my master wishes it, He must be my first priority above and beyond all others including my family and friends.

You have already broken the honesty part by posting against his knowledge as you know. Can you step back and keep to the terms you are agreeing to and do you really want to do so on a permanent day in, day out basis? As to obeying commands without hesitation...depending what his commands are (is he likely to demand things which he knows you can manage or is he likely to demand things he knows are going to take everyonunce of your being to obey, if even then, as my own Master does from time to time? In those circumstances you need to know what course of action he would take....will he be supportive and help you find a way to achieve the goal, or will he just punish you and expect robot like obedience which IMHO is impossible and the stuff fantasy porn is made of...unless of course you are totally brainwashed or mentally unstable and then perhaps it would be possible but not very safe.

Being below your Master is not unusual, and is how F chooses to conduct our M/s dynamic. A Dominant is another thing and it is not usual you would be considered below him. Being below can also mean a variety of things, depending on the way the PYL wishes to apply it and specify it be understood. It does not necessarily mean you are below them in everything...in fact in our relationship, the reason he wanted me apart from our love for each other was I had a mind and could prove a valueable assett to him in many ways, especially fulfillling duties he has now desire to waste his time and energy on. If I was just a dumbass with no talents in any area, why would he invest so much time, energy, emotion, money, and patience in me? What would be the point? He is not a dumb man, so he likes a slave who has value to him.

Putting him above all others is also not unheard of in M/s relationships, though it is not something which is expected by many. For us it is the way I am expected to be, and in turn he is generous to a point if family and/or friends need me in some way which is serious. He places limits on that time though if he feels it necesary, and if he demanded I stay with him and not follow what would have been my natural instinct to go to whoever needed help, stay with him I must. Of course, he also knows this will not always make me happy and so impact on us emotionally, and he knows it is not always the right thing to do hence he thinks forst and can lay aside his own needs to some extent. More often than not, I manage to find a way to fulfil the desires of both whoever needs help, as well as making a special effort to do things for him which remind him I know where my place is and that I am only where I am at that point in time due to his generosity of spirit.

As to having no thoughts of your own, this is in its purest form a fantasy borne of porn and fiction. No-one can control your thought, but they can control what you do about them if you permit them to. If you mean in relation to making decisions and acting on them without his approval, it is usually normal to have some things you will already know are expected and so accepted you act on, and others it would be considered vital you first run by him or be given otherwise you aren't even going to be able to wipe your own butt without first being told it is OK....Masters in the real world do not want that level of micromanagement down to your evey breath, otherwise they being to live their life through you and your actions, not for themselves as there is no time for anything of their own to be thought about or done.

I have no limits that my master does not set for me himself. He owns me completely; my body, my heart, and my mind. All my possessions become his....which brings me to the reason for this ..... (this is not the limit of what my Master demands of me... but you get the idea).

What I would like to know first of all is; is this common among Master's/Dom's to request such a thing? I would be interested to hear from Master's/Dom's and any other sub's/slave's if they have requested/given such a document.

The second thing I would like to know is how legaly binding is such a document? If I have property in my name eg. motor vehicle or real estate where my name is on the title/deeds when it comes to the legalities what right does my Master have to those properties based on my written oath.

If you are in a 'no limits' relationship, your limits will be set by him. This usually does not happen immediately as it takes time to be able to build the trust to submit to that honestly and whole heartedly. Many people think it means 'no limits' except for a long list of things they assume their PYL would never expect of them. That is a very dangerous road to take as I am living proof that though you may know them well, they can and often will change and decide to demand things of you which once would never have been considered even thought of...you have to be prepared for that because the Master will not usually take kindly to you then pointing out you weren't expecting xyz so will not obey.

As to possessions, it is not unusual for the Master to in theory own everything, including your previous possessions. We have such an arrangement and though I still appear to have my own things, I am reminded from time to time I no longer own anything including myself and only are allowed the use of those things as part of his generosity and desire to allow me those priviledges. They can be taken away if he chooses.

This is not legally binding unless you sign legal documents to that effect, and with witnesses. It is also something you do not usually commit to early in the relationship and if there are questions over the motives and possible outcomes. In the instance of your mother's farm, she could I imagine sign half over to you I imagine under certain terms which could mean only to you, nobody else, or in trust, and of course done legally and wtertight with at least the opinions of 2 lawyers to make sure you have it right.

Catalina

 

[Softouch911]

Everyone's comments have been thorough and considerate and, as usual, very correct. I hope you're reading them seriously.

Just in case you're not for some reason, I'll tell you that your post scares the dickens out of me. You're committing yourself in absolute terms to a person and a relationship you don't fully understand. You feel vulnerable to him rather than protected by him. And you don't know what to expect of any of this.

My suggestion is to slow it all down. Take a year or two to get to know yourself, him, and what to expect of his values and hopes and your own dreams. If he says all of this has to be accomplished in a big hurry -- before you know what you're doing and at your own comfortable pace -- just plain bail out.

Doms are like spam. Delete one and another pops up in a minute or two. You have more time than you do margin for failure with this.

I'm not trying to say that this man is a predator, but you don't seem to be sure yourself. I'm not trying to discourage you from a relationship, but you should know what it means and is before you try to commit to it. I'm not questioning your ability and willingness to submit to this man, but the fact you would post this cry for information from complete strangers and go behind his back to post it tells me you're very frightened.

The first rule of much of BDSM is that if it ain't fun, don't do it. Start there. You dont' sound like you're having fun ... yet.

Good luck. And best wishes,
ST

 

[RawHumor]

Just in case you're not for some reason, I'll tell you that your post scares the dickens out of me.

That was my first thought as well.

Your first BDSM experience should not be with someone who won't let you ever say no.

 

[BiBunny]

That was my first thought as well.

Your first BDSM experience should not be with someone who won't let you ever say no.

Agreed. When someone started making demands on me that I wasn't fully comfortable with and wouldn't let me say no, I'd tell him to go fuck himself. But I suppose other people are kinder than I.

 

[RawHumor]

Agreed. When someone started making demands on me that I wasn't fully comfortable with and wouldn't let me say no, I'd tell him to go fuck himself. But I suppose other people are kinder than I.

The problem with people who are inexperienced but want to be submissive is that they often seem to believe that being submissive equals forfeiting any right to say no to anything.

That could get scary rather quickly.

 

[BiBunny]

The problem with people who are inexperienced but want to be submissive is that they often seem to believe that being submissive equals forfeiting any right to say no to anything.

That could get scary rather quickly.

Yep. It's easy to buy into the bullshit that people try to feed you. The best antidote I've found against that is to ask myself, "Does this make sense to me?" If the answer is yes, then I give myself rein to approach it cautiously. If the answer is no, I'll ask the other person questions to help clarify it in my mind. If that person is unwilling or unable to give me answers that satisfy me, I go back to the "go fuck yourself" school of thought.

 

[MasterBrad]

I have a nagging, bad feeling about what you've described, but I'm only going to cover the major question that you've asked.

What I would like to know first of all is; is this common among Master's/Dom's to request such a thing? I would be interested to hear from Master's/Dom's and any other sub's/slave's if they have requested/given such a document.

The second thing I would like to know is how legaly binding is such a document? If I have property in my name eg. motor vehicle or real estate where my name is on the title/deeds when it comes to the legalities what right does my Master have to those properties based on my written oath.

I wouldn't call this type of agreement common, but neither would I call it uncommon. However, must sub's I've known who's made similar oaths had no really property to speak of, so its was more of a formality.

As for whether such an agreement would be legally binding, I'd say no. Unless you brought a lawyer in to create this document between yourself and your Master, I'd think he'd be in no position at all to make any kind of legal claim base on it.

Personally, my biggest concern is that you've had to go behind your Master's back to try to get some assurance about what you're about to enter into. I think you need to have a conversation with your Master and discuss these things with him. You may want to become a permanent slave, but as you've rightly pointed out, what you're about to do, can and will have effects on others in your life that are not swearing oaths. Your Master owes it to you to make sure any and all of your concerns are addressed by him. (Not by folks here, as much as they are willing to help.)

Good luck to you,

Master Brad

 

[SubKekiLee]

Yep. It's easy to buy into the bullshit that people try to feed you. The best antidote I've found against that is to ask myself, "Does this make sense to me?" If the answer is yes, then I give myself rein to approach it cautiously. If the answer is no, I'll ask the other person questions to help clarify it in my mind. If that person is unwilling or unable to give me answers that satisfy me, I go back to the "go fuck yourself" school of thought.

BB
Thats the best explanation Ive seen in a LONG time.. here here.. =0) Im with Bunny.. If it doesnt seem to make sense to do it dont do it..

 

[catalina_francisco]

BB
Thats the best explanation Ive seen in a LONG time.. here here.. =0) Im with Bunny.. If it doesnt seem to make sense to do it dont do it..

While I think this process is good to apply at times, there are times when it really doesn't have to make sense, or be fair, or even enjoyable for submission to be expected and gained...it is all about the terms of the relationships and those involved, but for me if it is about how I see it, whether I want to, whether I like and approve of the order I may as well go back to vanilla where that was considered normal to expect as criteria for continuing or participating in a relationship.

Catalina

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Danger Will Robinson, Danger !

I know of an inexperienced & first time sub that allowed a Dom to move in with her, now he's gone and so is all her savings that she had prior to him moving in.

 

[Netzach]

I would say that IF you are getting into a situation in which you can't say no, you should have a firm idea of what you are going to be saying yes to a lot, and you maybe should know this person well enough to be having this dialogue with him.

 

[BiBunny]

While I think this process is good to apply at times, there are times when it really doesn't have to make sense, or be fair, or even enjoyable for submission to be expected and gained...it is all about the terms of the relationships and those involved, but for me if it is about how I see it, whether I want to, whether I like and approve of the order I may as well go back to vanilla where that was considered normal to expect as criteria for continuing or participating in a relationship.

Catalina

I agree with what you're saying. I didn't specify in my other post, but I was really talking about demands that are made of someone at the beginning of a relationship. Now, yes, B. could tell me to go jump off a bridge, and I'd probably do it. Before we got to this point where I could trust him implicitly, though, I'd have just looked at him and said, "You have got to be kidding me." Until you know that a person has your best interests in mind, you probably shouldn't be doing any bridge-jumping.

 

[SweetErika]

I am new to the BDSM world and have recently found my Master. We are planning a permanent full time Master/slave relationship, and I am relocating very soon to be with him.

If one of your loved ones had written this, and was seeking your advice, what would you tell them?

I'm guessing "Sure, you're new to BDSM, and don't know this guy all that well, but I think you should definitely move in with him and give up all of your rights!" wouldn't be your advice.

It certainly wouldn't be mine, as I'd be very concerned about their welfare. I'd probably suggest a compromise, like relocating into their own apartment/home after multiple visits back and forth and not agreeing to give up all rights and property until they had more experience with BDSM and the Dominant in question.

Sure, going straight to TPE (or any kind of relationship, really) with someone the person doesn't really know works out long-term once in awhile, but it seems to be disastrous more often than not. When inexperience is added to the equation, the odds of success decrease even more.

So, what's the rush in agreeing to these conditions before you've spent a meaningful amount of time together, learned to trust him completely (or not), and gained more experience?

Slavery contracts and such aren't legally binding. If you want to consult with a kink-aware lawyer or other professional, there's a list here: http://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_keyword&id=270

 

[FirmHandAndy]

Get a second opinion - re Deed

My mother wishes to put my name on the deed to her farm, effectively giving me half of it. My concern is that she loses half of what she has worked so hard for because of a decision I have made for myself.

Besides your BDSM relation ship -
it might not be a good idea for your mom to put you on her deed. Such an action is generally considered NOT very wise. A living trust is usually a much better idea for legal, tax and estate planning reasons. It provides more benefits to you and your mom without any draw backs.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

wow..i really don't know what to say because you don't want 'criticism' of your relationship. but there are SO many red flags in your post that i am having a hard time biting my tongue on them. you said yourself that you just RECENTLY met your Master. how can you trust him fully if you don't even really know him. have you met him face to face? i have been in an online D/s relationship for 4 years, and let me tell you, even now, i would not sign a contract like the one you are describing.

i'm not saying there is anything wrong with a TPE relationship that is, after all, the goal of mine and Daddy's relationship eventually. but to give up your own thoughts? to put your family on the backburner for a man you don't even really know? like i said the fact that you are new to BDSM D/s relationships and that you just recently met this guy, well it seems to me you are moving way too quickly and may very well end up hurt in the end. i do question (and i've not seen anyone else question this) why you would be punished for asking the advice of more experienced people. it seems to me if he wanted you to make this decision he would want you to have all the information and really really research everything before making such a HUGE decision. i don't understand being punished because you question things...... i guess my only advice is ...be careful.

 

[catalina_francisco]

i do question (and i've not seen anyone else question this) why you would be punished for asking the advice of more experienced people. it seems to me if he wanted you to make this decision he would want you to have all the information and really really research everything before making such a HUGE decision. i don't understand being punished because you question things...... i guess my only advice is ...be careful.

I think perhaps the punishment would be more about doing it secretly, than actually doing it. That being said, if a relationship is already established on some level many PYL´s, F included, do not welcome their pyl going elsewhere to ask about elements of their own relationship. What might be right for one person may not for another and so it is usually really only the people within the relationship who can fully answer any questions about the relationship dynamics and whether they are honourable or valid. I´m not sure if the PYL is inexperienced, though the OP says they themselves are.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

I´m not sure if the PYL is inexperienced, though the OP says they themselves are.

Catalina

If he is, don't you think he might see some benefit to growing a noob into TPE instead of hitting her with everything at once?

But yeah, these questions are best answered by your partner, not a bulletin board, I reiterate.

 

[catalina_francisco]

If he is, don't you think he might see some benefit to growing a noob into TPE instead of hitting her with everything at once?

But yeah, these questions are best answered by your partner, not a bulletin board, I reiterate.

One would think so, but then some don´t...could be the OP also thought it was going to be immediate, but like F did with me, he may just have been trying to be very open about expectations...they haven´t been back so we are all chasing our tails.

Catalina