Can you rape the willing?

[Brinnie]

You know those dreams you have when you're barely awake, and barely asleep and they seem so real? I had one tonite, where I was being raped...

What alarmed me the most, is how much it turned me on. I had a wet dream! (As much as girls can) So what I'm wondering is, is it okay to be turned on by the fantasy of being raped? Or, are there any other girls out there who are turned on by the prospect of it?

 

[human_male]

Just coz you have a dream or fantasy about something doesn't mean you actually want it to happen in real life.

 

[bisexplicit]

Theres a whole long feminist rant I can give about why women become aroused by nonconsent, but I won't bother.

And while actual rape never has done it for me, elements of domination/being forced/persuaded into sex is an occasional fantasy of mine. I don't think its weird that you had this dream and liked it.

 

[luv1]

It's a very common fantasy, don't sweat it...unless it was that good

 

[Pyro Paul]

the fantasy of rape is a common thing among women that feel that their life is too busy, the idea that some one takes their time away and does something to them is a great release of tension when you have such a planed out life.

also, it is a fantasy among people who feel that they are holding back, the idea that it isnt 'my fault' and they want it really badly but they dont want the blame of it. an odd concept of, i really wanna have sex, but i dont want to have sex by consent because then ill be a slut and or might get pregnante. if i dont give consent then ill have sex and it wont be my fault and i wont be a slut.

Now the critical thing here is that rape is a serious thing. and also if you are well seeded in this fantasy it can cause great distress if the fantasy becomes reality. ive had a girlfriend that wanted to be raped, her life was so busy that she couldnt make time for me and she just wanted me to throw her scedual aside and pull her to her bed and rape her. i never did, but some one else did. her seeded fantasy then caused her to have a massive complex of right and wrong, she was raped and it was wrong. she enjoyed it and that was wrong... so is she wrong? was it her fault she got raped?

eventualy it became to much for her and she had a mental break down.

 

[Munachi]

i don't know if rape fantasies really always mean you are too busy or looking for excuses... i suppose tehre are always complex psychological reasons why someone is the way they are but in the end, they are that way and have to live with it...

anyway, i dreamed the other night that a crocodile turned into a guy and then wanted to rip my tongue out of my mouth and eat it, and i was strangely aroused by this dream... so that is weird too, i guess.

 

[emap]

I get those dreams to sometimes. I think it's because of a couple different things, life complications, worries and just a desire to let everything go and happen. I have a big problem with the last one, it's hard for me to just let stuff go about it's own business, my guy says it comes from my mother, but i just hit him on the head, and think maybe he's right.

It's a pretty normal thing, the only thing you can do to stop it from happening, assuming you do anyway. Is to set time aside for nothing, I'm not talking stare at teh wall or anything, but just set some time for you to just sit around and do whatever, watch TV, play a game, read a book, watch the paint dry, Ok, I've done the last and it is very strangely calming. Lastly, your not weird, your not perverted, well no more than anybody else, you just need to have a bit of me time or a bit of nothing time.

 

[Melesse]

My wife actually recently asked me to rape her. She said she enjoyed it alot. I was very uncomfortable, but she had fun lol.

She wants to do it again, and she wants me to hit her next time. Interesting.

Melesse

 

[stageleft]

role-play

when my g/f was throwing out some old dresses i asked harmlessly if i could rip & tear one off her..her eyes really lit up & she was thrilled with the idea..her eyes were ablaze with lust when i ripped her dress open scattering the buttons everywhere..i almost tore her dress in half & it led to a lovely frenzied session of exciting sex..we both enjoy it immensly!!!

 

[silverwhisper]

brinnie: one of the slow hand anthologies has a rape fantasy in it, IIRC, but damned if i can recall which year. it's apparently not uncommon.

ed

 

[Pyro Paul]

ill answer in a simpler way. Yes you can. I had a girlfriend that was raped, and though she really really wanted to be raped (the idea of being over powered and being submissive even though she was a dominant person) but when it acctualy happend it was much more than a fantasy, it was a nightmare for her.

none the less she broke down mentaly and became a lesbian.

 

[Brinnie]

Theres a whole long feminist rant I can give about why women become aroused by nonconsent, but I won't bother.

And while actual rape never has done it for me, elements of domination/being forced/persuaded into sex is an occasional fantasy of mine. I don't think its weird that you had this dream and liked it.

I'm a feminist. Let's hear it.

 

[Munachi]

none the less she broke down mentaly and became a lesbian.

¿?¿?¿?

 

[Tighter]

Um.. well..

I'm a bit embarassed to say this but it's been a long-time fantasy of mine but I never could ask my boyfriends about it. How I feel about it is.. to be taken like that would give me such an adrenaline rush, sharing something so sexually charged with my partner is definitely a turn-on.
I still want to do it..

 

[Moleculor]

Unfortunately all the women I attract are the ones that think that submitting is a gift. Bah. I want someone to fight back once and a while!

 

[Tighter]

Unfortunately all the women I attract are the ones that think that submitting is a gift. Bah. I want someone to fight back once and a while!

Great minds think alike

I agree, it's fun when there's a little roughhousing involved. Now if only I could get it..

 

[Brinnie]

Unfortunately all the women I attract are the ones that think that submitting is a gift. Bah. I want someone to fight back once and a while!

With me, there ain't no holla back, grrrrl...

 

[BlueSugar]

Theres a whole long feminist rant I can give about why women become aroused by nonconsent, but I won't bother.
<snip>

Please do, it would add a new dynamic to the thread and the topic at hand. Most of us know its *somewhat "normal," what is the feminist side to it?
Is this far left field nazi feminist or women's opinion right sided more loose feminist btw?





* I say somewhat normal because... what the fuck is normal when fantasy is involved? heh.

 

[HotKittySpank]

Major fantasy for me. Can't get the hubby into it. What a shame.

Seriously, don't worry about it. Fantasy is fantasy. I don't wish to be raped in real life. But, in a safe environment with someone I trust, the idea of being overpowered and controled, fighting back and forced is thrilling.

 

[Tighter]

Seriously, don't worry about it. Fantasy is fantasy. I don't wish to be raped in real life. But, in a safe environment with someone I trust, the idea of being overpowered and controled, fighting back and forced is thrilling.

Exactly. Well said HKS. Couldn't have worded it any better.

 

[Brinnie]

Major fantasy for me. Can't get the hubby into it. What a shame.

Seriously, don't worry about it. Fantasy is fantasy. I don't wish to be raped in real life. But, in a safe environment with someone I trust, the idea of being overpowered and controled, fighting back and forced is thrilling.

sissy... that's not rape.

 

[HotKittySpank]

OK,ok, so some like it and some don't but, sissy or not, I do like the fantasy, not the reality. How do you have the fantasy and make it seem real? How can you know it's fake and still get off on it? This is the dilema.

 

[coolbluewaters]

Rape is a completed act of sexual violence
forcefully performed against the will of another person.


that is the technical defintion of rape, so can you rape the willing "NO" by techicalities, but yes women do have the dreams of domination and that is totally different thing.

 

[Eilan]

Maybe this is oversimplification, but I've always seen the difference between "real" rape and "fantasy" rape as a control issue.

In a "fantasy" rape, isn't the woman really in control to some extent, particularly if she's the one who has the fantasy? For example, if I tell my husband that I want to be "taken" or "forced" against my will and he acts on those desires, is that really rape?

I just don't see rape as an issue where the woman is in control. If a woman is raped, then she doesn't have control over that, does she?

 

[HotKittySpank]

Of course in real rape, the person being raped is not in any sort of control. But, in the sexual fantasy of rape, you give up varying dregrees of control in order to feel the fantasy is being fulfilled.

And in answer to Brinnie's question of 'is it ok to fantisize about rape', YES!