Can you educate me?

[chasten]

I'd like to work on a story and not say something ridiculous. I don't have any personal experience and Google searches have not resulted in any luck, so here I am.

The question(s) revolve around what is reasonable in terms of whipping/spanking/flogging someone. I don't want to say, "A strokes with a B," and have everyone snicker, "What a wimp!" Nor do I want to say, "C strokes with a D," and have everyone say, "And now what do you do with the dead body?"

I'm lost. All I've found is that Singapore limits caning to 24 strokes out of fear for the person's life and that armies that that employed corporal punishment used to kill soldiers by giving hundreds of strokes with whips.

Two scenarios:

First, assume Person #1...a novice...wants to cause SOME pain but not agony to Person #2...another novice...under the guidance of Person #3...experienced. What would Person #3 let Person #1 use (i.e., something a beginner could employ properly) and how many? I'd rather the answer was not "their hand."

The second scenario: Assume Person #1 really wants to punish Person #2 for something pretty serious. Lots of pain but does not want injury. What does the answer look like then?

Thank you.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

NOT being snarky: Why are you trying to write about something of which you appear to have little/no knowledge? My only recommendation for research on this topic would be a book called, "X Years Before the Mast," which, IIRC, included some description of shipboard disciplline, which was pretty harsh in the 17th-19th centuries.

 

[Scotsman69]

The best advice anyone can give you is the advice a published novelist gave me when I started writing. Write about what you know.

 

[chasten]

Sir_Winston54-Thanks for being responsive. The answer would be because the character is also totally clueless about a situation in which they find themselves, something that I do know about. My only point in asking the question was to not make the more experienced person sound totally idiotic when they gently suggested, "Perhaps you could try this if you wanted to experiment."

By asking it the way I did I was trying to gauge an absolute number (keeping in mind, of course, that nothing would be absolute in this arena) and a standard deviation. I'm not sure a book on corporal punishment will really give me that since it's going to lean to the "too far" end of the spectrum, but I appreciate the attempt to help.

 

[ecstaticsub]

The problem is that there is no absolute number. I have had canings where I couldn't handle more than 4 or 5 and other times where I have been caned for 15 minutes--way too many too count. The most painful time was about 8 or nine (maybe?) and that was my very first experience with impact play. I had a belt punishment beating that was extremely painful--but only 4 or so swats-but my mental/emotional feelings at the time had a great deal to do with the pain.

So much depends on how hard the hit was, whether it hit the same damn spot, the mental state of mind, and other variables that aren't coming to mind right now. Plus what may cause me extreme pain may feel like next to nothing to some one else.

 

[KoPilot]

There are just too many variables to make any sort of universal statement. It depends on how one is swinging, where they're hitting, the sensitivity (and the kind of sensitivity!) that the bottom has, what their emotional state is, what their hormones are otherwise doing, what tool is being used...

Sometimes I can sit and be hit for half an hour straight and S gets bored and tired while I feel like I could go on indefinitely. Sometimes I only last 5 minutes. There really is no number that I could look at without any sort of context and go "wow, what a wimp".

 

[Netzach]

NOT being snarky: Why are you trying to write about something of which you appear to have little/no knowledge? My only recommendation for research on this topic would be a book called, "X Years Before the Mast," which, IIRC, included some description of shipboard disciplline, which was pretty harsh in the 17th-19th centuries.

This. We'd pretty much all have to crack a book and research this because BDSM is not synonymous with civil punishments.

 

[Stella_Omega]

First, assume Person #1...a novice...wants to cause SOME pain but not agony to Person #2...another novice...under the guidance of Person #3...experienced. What would Person #3 let Person #1 use (i.e., something a beginner could employ properly) and how many? I'd rather the answer was not "their hand."

a paddle.
A wooden spoon.
a folded belt.
A flogger would take a half an hour of practice, as would a whip. You have to know how to aim the thing. Even a folded belt needs some aiming. It's much more flexible than you'd imagine. As a writer, you might try it against a pillow or something, to understand what I mean.

I would, in fact, tell a novice "Use your hand," partly because I like to watch people be spanked...

The first lesson, really, is communication between the top and the bottom.
I would have #1 deal a light hit, ask #2 how that felt on a scale from 1 to 10. Then, hit hard and ask how that felt on the scale. Perhaps have them decide on a number of hits they think would work-- perhaps have the bottom beg off much sooner then that, or ask to continue instead.

Is this meant to be a punishment? The rules might be a bit different in that case. But still, communication has to be the key.

 

[Oubliette123]

As a writer, you might try it against a pillow or something, to understand what I mean.

This. To write about something I would try to gain the experience practically to find an understanding as a starting point. I am an illustrator and my research always begins with primary research, that is going right back to the roots of something and working from there. I would imagine creative writing would benefit from that approach too.

 

[chasten]

@ecstaticsub & KoPilot: I understand what you're saying about absolutes. It doesn't stop me from striving for some rough ideas...but I do understand what you're saying.

@KoPilot: Your last sentence is actually one of the most useful things anyone has said. Thanks.

@Stella_Omega: Thank you for the extended reply. To respond in roughly backwards order... No, I wasn't originally thinking about it as punishment, although I did wonder about: what if someone was a bit irritated and went too far? I mean, most people don't want to injure their significant other, even when furious, but they may be tempted to go that extra inch or two.

But, no, the reason I asked about that was to gauge range. If someone said, "Well, 5 would hurt and 10 would be agony," it would be quite different than if they said, "5 would hurt and 100 would be agony."

It makes sense in my tamer world that the first lesson would be communication/agreement from all kinds of perspectives: not really hurting someone, not causing a break up, etc. Yet, having said that, I find myself thinking about things I have thought (if that makes sense?) at times. Beyond the playful swat on the butt or nibble that's a trifle hard, I've sometimes wondered whether there isn't something on the other side the of the "ouch!" that stops things cold...that, if pushed a tiny bit beyond the line that the conscious brain draws, there might not be something that would be okay on the other side. Clearly, I've never answered that question *smile*, but it has come to mind on several occasions. However, I suppose that, to avoid accidentally getting back to that hurt/break up, even then there must be communication...so never mind my meanderings.

Anyway, the idea of the wooden spoon or paddle seems to fit the ticket--something rigid. While I never used a belt on my kids, locker room towel flicks back in school made it quite clear to me that flexible items require a fair bit of practice to aim.

Thanks again.