KillerMuffin
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Can there truly be love if there isn't trust? There is lust, infatuation, and yes, love. But is it truly deep love if you don't trust? Is it good enough?
Can there be love...?
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seXieleXie
trouble
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simple answer: no.
it's not enough for me. to be able to give yourself completely to someone requires a lot of trust.
it's not enough for me. to be able to give yourself completely to someone requires a lot of trust.
JennyOmanHill
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I believe you must have trust before a love can be considered a "true love". Trust is the basis for the closest and most meaningful type of love I have experienced. It's not always easy, but it's imperative not to doubt your loved one.KillerMuffin said:
alltherage
orgasmic inDucktion
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Without trust I hold back pieces of myself. I think rather than feel in many instances. I think you can have a trusting intimate relationship without true love but it is impossible to have true love without trust. Oh yeah, I do believe in true love. Color me the foolish romantic.
EthiopianPrince
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Devil's Advocate
Maybe you can have true love without trust. Maybe love and trust are two independent things.
Perhaps trust is not dependent on love, but on a sense of security and self-esteem, and self-worth.
Then, when you love someone, but can't believe you are worthy of being loved in return, you won't be able to trust.
I'm just playing devil's advocate here ... what do you think?
Maybe you can have true love without trust. Maybe love and trust are two independent things.
Perhaps trust is not dependent on love, but on a sense of security and self-esteem, and self-worth.
Then, when you love someone, but can't believe you are worthy of being loved in return, you won't be able to trust.
I'm just playing devil's advocate here ... what do you think?
SINthysist
Rural Racist Homophobe
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Now wait one second
I love my parents, but boy, I've learned not to trust them.
I had a first wife that I loved very much, and didn't trust any father than I could see her. Loved her even after I threw her cheatin' ass out the door...
I love my parents, but boy, I've learned not to trust them.
I had a first wife that I loved very much, and didn't trust any father than I could see her. Loved her even after I threw her cheatin' ass out the door...
AStormyOne
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No
In my opinion, if I can't completely trust the person I am with, how can I give him control over my most valued body part?? My heart. I can't love him unconditionally if I am always wondering what if he is doing this or that.
Love, to me, is just not possible without trust.
Storm
edited for typos
In my opinion, if I can't completely trust the person I am with, how can I give him control over my most valued body part?? My heart. I can't love him unconditionally if I am always wondering what if he is doing this or that.
Love, to me, is just not possible without trust.
Storm
edited for typos
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seXieleXie
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Re: Now wait one second
i understand what you're saying but would you call that true love? one can love in degress, yes? my understanding of this question is that true love is the highest of those degrees, and in my opinion and experiance that simply is not possible without trust.
SINthysist said:
i understand what you're saying but would you call that true love? one can love in degress, yes? my understanding of this question is that true love is the highest of those degrees, and in my opinion and experiance that simply is not possible without trust.
alltherage
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Re: Devil's Advocate
If my self worth is that poor then I doubt if what I feel is really love as I would define it. It is need and the filling of that need. If i did not believe I deserved a persons love then the trust issue is internal. I would not be trusting my own worth.EthiopianPrince said:
Cheyenne
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Maybe we can love someone in spite of not trusting them. People disappoint us all the time. Why should someone we love be any different? Our love doesn't make them perfect.
Only you can decide if that is "good enough" for you though.
Only you can decide if that is "good enough" for you though.
SINthysist
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True love is a wonderful fiction, a fantasy which I view as in the first a lust thing which fades as you get to know someone, or something that comes from many years of living with someone.
Even then, you still may not trust them fully, just because you know them so well...
Even then, you still may not trust them fully, just because you know them so well...
alltherage
orgasmic inDucktion
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Ok. Can I disagree?SINthysist said:
MissTaken
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Love may continue in situations where the trust isn't all consuming.
I believe there has to be some trust in order for love to exist.
Maybe the question is , can there be love if their is NO trust? I cannot imagine loving anyone without there being some element of trust. If you doubt every word, every deed, how can you love?
How can you believe that they love you or even that they are who they present themselves to be?
I believe there has to be some trust in order for love to exist.
Maybe the question is , can there be love if their is NO trust? I cannot imagine loving anyone without there being some element of trust. If you doubt every word, every deed, how can you love?
How can you believe that they love you or even that they are who they present themselves to be?
SINthysist
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alltherage
Of course you can. My opinion is not a pronouncement which must be adhered to by all my loyal subjects. Just a point (ed) of view.
BUT IT WOULD BE NICE IF IT WERE DAMNIT!
Of course you can. My opinion is not a pronouncement which must be adhered to by all my loyal subjects. Just a point (ed) of view.
BUT IT WOULD BE NICE IF IT WERE DAMNIT!
alltherage
orgasmic inDucktion
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Only if you are self distructive.MissTaken said:
patient1
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I've known people that loved their drug-addict children.
Nobody could trust these addicts, they'd do or say anything.
These parents let their lives be ruined because they loved these
kids and had hope for them, but not trust.
Romantically speaking, I 'd agree that you reserve part of yourself when you don't trust someone, so you can't be truly & completely in love. But what if you do love each other & later in the marriage one becomes an alcholic, or a compulsive gambler?
You'll stop trusting them, but I do't think you'd stop loving them.
Nobody could trust these addicts, they'd do or say anything.
These parents let their lives be ruined because they loved these
kids and had hope for them, but not trust.
Romantically speaking, I 'd agree that you reserve part of yourself when you don't trust someone, so you can't be truly & completely in love. But what if you do love each other & later in the marriage one becomes an alcholic, or a compulsive gambler?
You'll stop trusting them, but I do't think you'd stop loving them.
morninggirl5
Secret Dream Machine
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Real deep true love as KM described it will happen for me when I meet someone that I trust with ALL of me. Looking back, I've trusted people I loved with my heart and on occasion with my body, but never with my soul. The deepest part of me is untouched and when I trust someone with that part of me, it will be "Real deep true love."
Cherry
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Yes, I think so ...
You can love somebody, yet the lack of trust may be your own weakness ... a weakness developed from a previous hurt perhaps.
Or ...
You can love somebody who doesn't deserve full trust ... loving the person in spite of his/her flaws.
And ... if either is true:
You can love somebody and let the trust develop as time goes on.
You can love somebody, yet the lack of trust may be your own weakness ... a weakness developed from a previous hurt perhaps.
Or ...
You can love somebody who doesn't deserve full trust ... loving the person in spite of his/her flaws.
And ... if either is true:
You can love somebody and let the trust develop as time goes on.
True love? No. To me true love is the sharing of thoughts, emotions, feelings, needs, wants, desires, self. Without trust you cannot and will not give of those things freely, esp. if you are unsure if they will be used against you. So to answer your question, no. Can there be love? yes. As many have pointed out you can have a degree of love without trust, but to the question of true love, no.
Edited to add some content.
Edited to add some content.
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Calamity Jane
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True love? Completely unconditional, no holds barred, no expectation of anything but the other person loving you in return kind of love?
I'm not even sure that kind of love exists at all.
It's the nature of humans to be suspicious... it's an animal thing. So, in this scenario, is it necessary to trust that other person completely? On every single thing, every single minute of every single day? I don't think that's possible.
I'm not even sure that kind of love exists at all.
It's the nature of humans to be suspicious... it's an animal thing. So, in this scenario, is it necessary to trust that other person completely? On every single thing, every single minute of every single day? I don't think that's possible.
S
ShamelessFlirt
Guest
Some people give their love unconditionally. They decide they're in love for many different reasons. Sometimes, without the other person even knowing.
You need trust to have a relationship. A two sided affair if you will. But not for love. Love is an emotion, and can't always be explained or rationalized away. For me it's not something that you choose, but something that chooses you.
But I'm warped
You need trust to have a relationship. A two sided affair if you will. But not for love. Love is an emotion, and can't always be explained or rationalized away. For me it's not something that you choose, but something that chooses you.
But I'm warped
LukkyKnight
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definitions
Love is lowering barriers, allowing be deliberate choice another (or others) to see you without your facade in place. It is caring more for the other than yourself without losing sight of yourself and your needs and rights.
You may grow up in a family where you know each other so well, and truly, that you never raised them in the first place, but most people develop such barriers as part of finding - or creating - an identity which is not founded on their place in a given family. Then, later, if everybody's lucky, if self-esteem and self-confidence allow those may be lowered again and a new balance within your family's love will flourish.
If you are fortunate enough to find somebody you resonate with, and trust, love may blossom. It is real, though rare. If you have found this magic, nurtured that first blush, that first daring sequence of self-revelations, into a loving bond, it feeds on itself and between two people emerges a third force which emanates from that bond - an amazing, powerful spirit which surrounds the two and spills over on all they come in contact with.
When something undermines the trust, the walls appear. The facades used to protect our souls from hurt are in direct opposition to love... so as trust fades, so will love. It can be nursed back from a nearly dead flicker if both parties dare and commit, but in the sense I undersand KM's question, the answer is:
No, trust is the foundation upon which love is built.
Love is lowering barriers, allowing be deliberate choice another (or others) to see you without your facade in place. It is caring more for the other than yourself without losing sight of yourself and your needs and rights.
You may grow up in a family where you know each other so well, and truly, that you never raised them in the first place, but most people develop such barriers as part of finding - or creating - an identity which is not founded on their place in a given family. Then, later, if everybody's lucky, if self-esteem and self-confidence allow those may be lowered again and a new balance within your family's love will flourish.
If you are fortunate enough to find somebody you resonate with, and trust, love may blossom. It is real, though rare. If you have found this magic, nurtured that first blush, that first daring sequence of self-revelations, into a loving bond, it feeds on itself and between two people emerges a third force which emanates from that bond - an amazing, powerful spirit which surrounds the two and spills over on all they come in contact with.
When something undermines the trust, the walls appear. The facades used to protect our souls from hurt are in direct opposition to love... so as trust fades, so will love. It can be nursed back from a nearly dead flicker if both parties dare and commit, but in the sense I undersand KM's question, the answer is:
No, trust is the foundation upon which love is built.
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