Can anyone help me here, please?

[lilminx]

I'm trying to write a true erotic story, but it is SO BORING!!! I don't know why- I wrote one story that had elements of truth in it, and I got a lot of positive feedback for it. This one is just horrid- I feel like if I was telling it, it would be in a monotone voice because it just isn't exciting. Is this a normal occurrence for authors of true stories?
Can anyone give me any suggestions as to how to make it better?

 

[MidnightAngel]

I've tried writing about a true experience also, and it doesn't work well for me either. In my case, it didn't seem as exciting as the fictional ones (I suppose) because I had actually done the things I was writing about. I guess it made them seem "less interesting", or maybe just less new and original. Perhaps someone reading the story wouldn't feel that way, though.

I always end up doing what you did with the first one....semi-true. I just take a little 'creative license' and embellish!

 

[KillerMuffin]

I've tried to write a true story myself, but never got farther than paragraph one. It stunk, it was boring, it was going no where, and the characters didn't have anything to say.

If it's that difficult, give it up. Save the truth for a titillating peek in your fiction stories. It generally works better that way.

 

[lilminx]

Thanks for the advice, both of you. I might finish writing it (yes, I'm probably beating a dead horse, but I hate to leave things unfinished) and ask someone (or a couple of people) to take a look at it before I decide whether to submit it. I think that because it is so subjective (even more so than a fictional story), I might be too critical. I have to see how I feel when it's done.

 

[christo]

If you're telling a true story, and it isn't working, here's a piece of advice-- lie. Lie through your teeth. Change the names, make it third person, keep the good parts and mess with everything else. This is a story, after all, you're not testifying under oath. Embellish. Accentuate. LIE!

Every story I've written has had at least a tiny kernel of truth to it, and then I make up the rest. Unfortunately for me, the parts I make up always seem to be the parts with sex in them. Crap.

Keep plugging away!

 

[Laurel]

Annie Dillard - a wonderful writer who writes wonderfully about writing - authored an essay titled "Transfiguration", in which she seamlessly brings in and rearranges real-life anecdotes to make her point. She then wrote an essay titled "How I Wrote the Moth Essay--and Why" - in which she very explicitly describes the process by which she constructed the "Transfiguration" essay. It's a WONDERFUL glimpse at how an accomplished writer uses and manipulates real-life experiences to make them powerful and pertinent. I think you can find both essays in the Norton sampler edited by Thomas Cooley. It's definitely worth seeking out.

 

[Weird Harold]

Tense and voice?

Thanks for the advice, both of you. I might finish writing it (yes, I'm probably beating a dead horse, but I hate to leave things unfinished) and ask someone (or a couple of people) to take a look at it before I decide whether to submit it. I think that because it is so subjective (even more so than a fictional story), I might be too critical. I have to see how I feel when it's done.

If you use MS Word 97 or later, turn on the "show readability statistics" and check to see what percentage of your sentences are in passive voice. Anything over about 2% makes your story flat and boring to read.

Are you telling this in past tense? It seems the logical tense to use for something that is a part of your past.

Try telling the story in present tense. It will make the story feel more "immediate" to the reader, and force you away from using past participles (an integral part of passive voice.)

Telling a story in present tense and active voice will almost always improve a story's readability and draw in a reader's interest more than the same story told in past tense with a lot of passive voice.

 

[Natalie Nessus]

lilminx,

my friend ,
do not attempt to write a story! That is a sin!

Share with us a fantasy that affects you or a memory or, perhaps a combination of both. Be rough, be passionate, do not care about the grammar! It is useless any way! Write about the passion and then edit afterwards. It is not perfect from the pen, it is the editor who makes it in order Ask my editor.

 

[lilminx]

Thank you all for your advice. While I can't possibly use every single piece of advice given from here, I might play around with the story and try some of your suggestions. Thank you again.

 

[Guest]

Words to live.....and die by

I couldn't agree more with everyone who posted here. And they should know, they've either been writing or reading most of the stories on here longer than just about anyone.

For myself...I tend to "mix" the two. I will usually begin with a past experience, remembering the initial excitement and how things began to develop. (Then like MOST experiences), when the part comes that was less than the "fantasy" you'd wished it had been...that's when you embellish.

Now is when I usually allow the transistion of what happened be taken over by what could have happened that would have made it even better. And that's where <I think> the story really begins.

I believe it's far easier to make the characters believable when you are thinking about real people, emotions, and the excitement that was felt leading up to whatever encounter or situation you are getting ready to share or "Story Tell". So that's the foundation. The "meat" of the story however, is usually better served up as fantasy rather than "This really happened."

So for what its worth....that's Thesandman's 2 cents.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=39666

To sleep.........perchance to dream - William Shakespear

I remain........