Campus Corner (Open)

[celestialdragon]

"Sure am," I say with a smile. I get over to the hostess stand and start seating people.

 

[CarnivalBarker]

The evening goes well and toward the end of your shift, I tell you that I am going with Don to get a new part for the washer. When I leave, the crowd is small and Riley waves you to the bar. "Hey, hun," she says. "How are you doing?" She asks, an eyebrow raised.

 

[celestialdragon]

"Pretty good, sweetie, and yourself?" I ask.

 

[CarnivalBarker]

"Good," she says. "But I'm taking you to dinner after work. I already talked to Reece and so we are going down the street to the Italian place."

 

[celestialdragon]

"Alright that sounds good." I smile warmly. "See you in about thirty minutes."

 

[CarnivalBarker]

I get back and have you clock out. "You're having dinner with Ry?"

 

[celestialdragon]

"That's what she told me," I say, kissing your cheek. "I love you, I'll let you know when I get home."

 

[CarnivalBarker]

I kiss you back and pat your butt on the way out. You and Riley arrive at the restaurant down the street and she orders you a carafe of sweet red wine, before ordering Italian Nachos for both of you. The wine arrives before the food and she pours you a glass first. She looks at you as she pours her own.

"So," she says. "I'm going to give you one chance. Tell me what's happening."

 

[celestialdragon]

I make it sounds like its not a big deal, but I explain certain things about our relationship.

 

[CarnivalBarker]

"Bullshit," Riley says, sipping her wine and looking directly into your eyes. "Tell me the truth."

 

[celestialdragon]

I sigh. And tell her most everything. I don't say anything about the night I told you, or the morning after. That had no bearing, and it was private.

 

[CarnivalBarker]

Riley crosses her arms as she listens to your story. "Okay," she says slowly. "Now, tell me what your problem is. I have seen you moping around the bar, and the day you had the baby at the bar, you looked miserable all day. And THIS," she says, grabbing your hand and exposing your wrists. "What the fuck is this? You KISSED a boy. That's IT."

 

[celestialdragon]

I snarl and jerk my wrist back. "Some things are better left in the dark," I say quietly. "I will say this, though I was expecting a lot worse. Now is not the time to go delving into my mind."

 

[CarnivalBarker]

"Lynn, listen to me. I am not delving into your mind. But listen to yourself. You know better than that, and you know this is bullshit. Reece told me this happened, and he told me he's not even worried that you did it. But he is worried about you doing this, and he is worried you'll be unsafe for yourself and that baby of yours." She pours you more wine.

"You have everything. EVERYTHING!" She says. "Do you realize you have the best man in this town? The BEST one. He looks great, and that's not even his best feature because he is kind, he is a great businessman, he loves you more than anything in the world, and you and I both know he knows what to do to make you feel like the prettiest, most beautiful girl in the world when he's on top of you in bed or next to you at the mall." She takes a drink. "You will NOT fuck this up, because I will not fucking let you, do you understand me? Do you know how many tight, pretty little girls with rich daddies want him to give them a beautiful baby and make him their angel?" She tears up and quivers a bit, angry at you. "I wanted that," she says. "Part of me always does." She wipes a tear and sips more wine.

"Do NOT fuck this up. Now you forgive yourself because he has. And he loves you. And I love you. You will have an amazing life, but you had better get the hell out of your own goddamn way, do you hear me?"

 

[celestialdragon]

My lower lip quivers ask listen to her and I nod when she's finished, tears streaming down my face. I try to take a sip of wine to calm down, but my hand slips around the glass and I angrily wipe the tears away. "I'm so stupid," I whisper.

 

[CarnivalBarker]

"Stop it," she says, giving you no cover. "Right now. You are a grown woman. A grown, beautiful, smart women, who nobody expects to be perfect. You did nothing wrong. Stop acting like you slaughtered babies."

 

[celestialdragon]

I nod. "I'm trying, Riley, I am'p," I say. I take a deep breath. "But. . . Its a part of me I want to get rid of but can't. Its a part of my past that haunts me, and it hurts. Its a dark place, and I. . . Have lived with it for most of my adult life. . . Did Reece ever mention that I was abused by a boyfriend?" I ask her.

 

[CarnivalBarker]

"No," she says, softly. "How does it affect you?" She asks. "How does it affect this?"

 

[celestialdragon]

"When a man gets mad at me because of something I did, I turn into what you see now," I explain. "It used to be a lot worse, honestly. Reece was livid when he found out, believe me. Its enough to make me into a whiny submissive little bitch, quite frankly. Its bad because I love him. And its harder to forgive yourself when someone you love is involved. You know that." I shrug. "Honestly? I was happiest when I'm alone with the baby. He doesn't judge me for something stupid, he loves me simply because."

 

[CarnivalBarker]

"Did....did Reece do something to you?" Riley asks.

 

[celestialdragon]

"Rough sex as punishment, really," I say. "I think he was more angry when. . . When I asked him to beat me." I hung my head.

 

[CarnivalBarker]

Her eyes get wide before softening into a sympathetic grin. She grabs your hand. "Honey, you can't ask him to do that. You can't put up with that from anyone. And you say rough sex. Did he abuse you? Because, you know.....he kind of likes that anyway. Did he hurt you?"

 

[celestialdragon]

"He didn't hurt me, although at the time I wish he did," I say. I shrug. "Its in the past, honey, I'm better." I take a sip of wine, my hands much steadier.

 

[CarnivalBarker]

"Promise. Promise you won't be trying to hurt yourself." She says.

 

[celestialdragon]

"I promise," I say sincerely. "Honestly. Now, its rare for me to admit this to anyone, but I need help. I want to be the girl he fell in love with again."