calling all transgendered

[Gi_Venus]

give the friend time its hard to deal with but if they are your friend they will find thier way back to you!

We will seehttp://img117.exs.cx/img117/6721/o4fsad.gif I hope you are right, my friend has been very tolerant before but I am not sure how this will go.
Gianna

 

[snowy ciara]

There are varying degrees of transition and how people go about it. For some it is in secrecy or with caution, for others it is an open celebration of self. Many people fall somewhere in the middle of the orientation of male and female, they do not gravitate toward the extreme end of the spectrum and sometimes find themselves outcast even by the transsexual community.


Gianna

Thank you for pointing this out, Gianna. I've become friends with a trans woman who "presents" as female, has done hormones, and has had her top surgery. She's been living as a woman for about 10 years now, since she was 21-22 ish. When it came to bottom surgery, she says she thought long and hard about whether or not she wanted to do it. She identifies as a woman, and as an "aggressively toppy lesbian bitch." Those are her words, not mine. When she thought about physical intimacy, she realized that if she thought about boinking her gf, she wanted to penetrate some of the time. From what she says, she annoyed a whole bunch of her lesbian friends with questions and their biggest complaint about strap-ons is that they're not real. She decided to keep her cock. From what she says, sexuality and intimacy for her has always been more than "insert peg A into slot B and repeat as needed." Yet she is one of the most feminine people I know. Her innate femininity has always been somewhat disconnected from her body parts.

I am not trans to any degree, (aside from extreme tomboyism) but it seems that gender dysphoria does occur to varying degrees with people, and some trans persons do need top and bottom surgery to be complete. Others don't, and as you said, are frequently not accepted in any community. I'm lucky to live where I live now, because I've come into contact with a lot gender outlaws. I find that I fit in there a little more than I do with the straight community or the glbt community. Mostly because they don't judge me or try to stuff into one of their neat little categories.

 

[Tymeless]

very nice reply ciara we appreciate your input greatly!

 

[snowy ciara]

Very welcome. I almost didn't post because my desperate state of crushiness comes through, I think. But the whole "tranny surprise, shemale nympho" porno craze has really put those in my friend's position in an awkward spot. It's gotten so I hate those two terms. "Tranny" and "Shemale" and crapola like that. She's not a shemale. She's not a cock in a frock. She's a woman. A warm, funny, bitchy, impatient, hormonal, wonderful, exciting, lovely woman. Not a sex object representing "the best of both worlds!". I realize some transexuals and drag queens embrace that whole persona, but she doesn't, and when ignorant people do find out about her sexuality, they get hurtful and stupid that way.

 

[bimori]

Very welcome. I almost didn't post because my desperate state of crushiness comes through, I think. But the whole "tranny surprise, shemale nympho" porno craze has really put those in my friend's position in an awkward spot. It's gotten so I hate those two terms. "Tranny" and "Shemale" and crapola like that. She's not a shemale. She's not a cock in a frock. She's a woman. A warm, funny, bitchy, impatient, hormonal, wonderful, exciting, lovely woman. Not a sex object representing "the best of both worlds!". I realize some transexuals and drag queens embrace that whole persona, but she doesn't, and when ignorant people do find out about her sexuality, they get hurtful and stupid that way.

I think that some people only think of there own fantasies and not that this is a real person that they are talking too . People need to think before they speak . That's how I feel anyways .

 

[Tymeless]

most people that bother to contact me view me as a sexual object i set them straight or refuse to respond to them. there are also alot of sweet people that contact me and treat me like a lady!

tranny and shemale offend me they didn't at first but the more i see it used as just a sexual desire term the more it bothers me i'm transgendered or i'm a woman i am not a sexual object!

 

[bimori]

most people that bother to contact me view me as a sexual object i set them straight or refuse to respond to them. there are also alot of sweet people that contact me and treat me like a lady!

tranny and shemale offend me they didn't at first but the more i see it used as just a sexual desire term the more it bothers me i'm transgendered or i'm a woman i am not a sexual object!

I think I've learned alot here tonight . I will be sure that In the future that I'm sure not to use term's that could offend someone . I know how it feel's becuase I'm Bi and that is not always veiwed well in the gay community . I have friends that say that I gay a will not admit to it . Anyway in the future I will work to not offen . That you my lady for your help .

 

[Gi_Venus]

Thank you for pointing this out, Gianna. I've become friends with a trans woman who "presents" as female, has done hormones, and has had her top surgery. She's been living as a woman for about 10 years now, since she was 21-22 ish. When it came to bottom surgery, she says she thought long and hard about whether or not she wanted to do it. She identifies as a woman, and as an "aggressively toppy lesbian bitch." Those are her words, not mine. When she thought about physical intimacy, she realized that if she thought about boinking her gf, she wanted to penetrate some of the time. From what she says, she annoyed a whole bunch of her lesbian friends and their biggest complaint about strap-ons is that they're not real. She decided to keep her cock. From what she says, sexuality and intimacy for her has always been more than "insert peg A into slot B and repeat as needed." Yet she is one of the most feminine people I know. Her innate femininity has always been somewhat disconnected from her body parts.

I am not trans to any degree, (aside from extreme tomboyism) but it seems that gender dysphoria does occur to varying degrees with people, and some trans persons do need top and bottom surgery to be complete. Others don't, and as you said, are frequently not accepted in any community. I'm lucky to live where I live now, because I've come into contact with a lot gender outlaws. I find that I fit in there a little more than I do with the straight community or the glbt community. Mostly because they don't judge me or try to stuff into one of their neat little categories.

Thank you snowy ciara,((((Hug)))) laughing me and my therapist are not quite sure how far over on the spectrum I am....I definitely identify as a woman and for me srs seems right.....but at this point it is the mental aspect of it the concerns me most of all, my own internal battles and the issues of acceptance. It is odd how the conflict within me goes back to early childhood....that of what I should be and what I embraced. Smile...where do you live? I need to move there...

Hi Tiffany and Bimori

Gianna

 

[Tymeless]

thanks bimori for learning something! glad your open minded about it!

hey gianna *huggles*

 

[bimori]

thanks bimori for learning something! glad your open minded about it!

hey gianna *huggles*

I would like to think I'm very open minded . But sometimes I'm just a guy . As we know sometimes guy only think with the little head and not the big one . From now on I'll think of everyone as people and how it would make me feel . Trangender isn't about sex it's about being who you are . Just as I'm who I am .

 

[rjp44]

I think we can all learn from some of these threads. I certainly would never want to hurt anyone's feelings unintentionally. More than enough hurt is given by those who can't accept GLBT people for just people.

 

[Gi_Venus]

I think we can all learn from some of these threads. I certainly would never want to hurt anyone's feelings unintentionally. More than enough hurt is given by those who can't accept GLBT people for just people.

Hi rjp44, You are right, smile... and if we all communicate well no misunderstandings would occur. I think you bring up a good point. When we are enlightened and sensitive we will know when objectifying is or is not appropriate. No, man woman or transexual likes to be approached in the wrong spirit if that is not their desire but if they are not clear in their personal ad I am not sure one can blame inappropriate behavior because the violater would not know. I am guilty of this in my personal ad early on when I was naive. I did not put all the information in for someone to know what my intentions were and hence brought things on myself...smile...all parties were disatisfied.

I see nothing wrong with objectifying when the person being objectified is a willing participant.....grin....there was a time when I desired to be the object.....now I want connection and love and then.......laughing... be objectified by a lover.

Gianna

 

[rjp44]

Hi rjp44, You are right, smile... and if we all communicate well no misunderstandings would occur. I think you bring up a good point. When we are enlightened and sensitive we will know when objectifying is or is not appropriate. No, man woman or transexual likes to be approached in the wrong spirit if that is not their desire but if they are not clear in their personal ad I am not sure one can blame inappropriate behavior because the violater would not know. I am guilty of this in my personal ad early on when I was naive. I did not put all the information in for someone to know what my intentions were and hence brought things on myself...smile...all parties were disatisfied.

I see nothing wrong with objectifying when the person being objectified is a willing participant.....grin....there was a time when I desired to be the object.....now I want connection and love and then.......laughing... be objectified by a lover.

Gianna

Hi Gianna. I hope all is going well for you. I think that regardless of one's sexual orientation, that most people want to establish some sort of connection on a personal level before anything sexual occurs.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Hi Gianna. I hope all is going well for you. I think that regardless of one's sexual orientation, that most people want to establish some sort of connection on a personal level before anything sexual occurs.

I think things are going well thank you very much......smiling.... at least between my ears it is.....http://smily.hit.bg/hug.gif I hope things have been well with you....we stopped Pming....laughing...It may have been me....I get distracted very easily.
Maybe it is true for most people, but I found that with men in particular it can be sex and not wanting anything else. I have friends that disagree saying it runs the spectrum of men and women.

Gianna

 

[rjp44]

I think things are going well thank you very much......smiling.... at least between my ears it is.....http://smily.hit.bg/hug.gif I hope things have been well with you....we stopped Pming....laughing...It may have been me....I get distracted very easily.
Maybe it is true for most people, but I found that with men in particular it can be sex and not wanting anything else. I have friends that disagree saying it runs the spectrum of men and women.

Gianna

I agree that there are some that are interested in sex, and sex only....cum and go...LOL. But I think the vast majority aren't most interested in only the sexual gratification. It's even possible that one might make a friend and sex is never involved.

 

[Gi_Venus]

A big hug for all you "girls" and "boys" out there....((((Transgendered))))

And everyone else ((((Everyone))))

Gianna

 

[mercury93]

hey any FTMs here?? i'm FTM transgenderqueer. that's my own word but i like it since i'm not transitioning the standard way or for standard reasons. anyway i'm 27, and in Western Massachusetts. would very much like to meet other transfolk around here!

 

[Tymeless]

welcome to the family there are a couple ftm's but they don't seem to post as much anymore. though we are going through diffrent processes we are hear to help you in a need.

 

[Gi_Venus]

hey any FTMs here?? i'm FTM transgenderqueer. that's my own word but i like it since i'm not transitioning the standard way or for standard reasons. anyway i'm 27, and in Western Massachusetts. would very much like to meet other transfolk around here!

Hi mercury((((Hug)))) nice meeting you, we do have occasional FTM visitors and we would love to have more. Most of us MTFs seem to unfairly get most of the attention. We would love to have your thoughts and Ideas....and any advice you may have for other transitioning FTMs. Tymeless started this thread to be a help to the TS community. I think it is a brilliant idea.

Gianna

 

[Gi_Venus]

a hug for the girls and boys....((((Hug))))

Gianna

 

[snowy ciara]

Thank you snowy ciara,((((Hug)))) laughing me and my therapist are not quite sure how far over on the spectrum I am....I definitely identify as a woman and for me srs seems right.....but at this point it is the mental aspect of it the concerns me most of all, my own internal battles and the issues of acceptance. It is odd how the conflict within me goes back to early childhood....that of what I should be and what I embraced. Smile...where do you live? I need to move there...

Hi Tiffany and Bimori

Gianna

(((gianna)))) sorry it took me so long to wander back this way. Life has been "being that way" again....

But anyway, I have two questions from some ftm transpersons...

Question 1, which tymeless hit on up there, for those of you who are openly mtf trans on Lit, do you get a lot of PMs hitting on you and treating all icky-like? One of our new authors is such and likes to read this forum, but doesn't want to deal with bullpucky.

Question 2 actually comes from a female lady that I know who has polycystic ovarian disease. One of the side effects of this is masculine like facial and arm hair. How do you safely and gently remove it? With her financial situation, laser or traditional electrolysis is out. Judging by how often she has to shave her legs, she'd have to shave her arms every 3 days, with stubble by day 2. She can't shave her legs every day because she gets razor bumps if she does. We assume she'd have the same problem with her arms. At this time, she has no health insurance, so that new facial creme isn't an option. Magic Power has been recommended for her face and arms, but she's leary of skin irritation and chemical burns. So what works for you?

 

[Gi_Venus]

(((gianna)))) sorry it took me so long to wander back this way. Life has been "being that way" again....

But anyway, I have two questions from some ftm transpersons...

Question 1, which tymeless hit on up there, for those of you who are openly mtf trans on Lit, do you get a lot of PMs hitting on you and treating all icky-like? One of our new authors is such and likes to read this forum, but doesn't want to deal with bullpucky.

Question 2 actually comes from a female lady that I know who has polycystic ovarian disease. One of the side effects of this is masculine like facial and arm hair. How do you safely and gently remove it? With her financial situation, laser or traditional electrolysis is out. Judging by how often she has to shave her legs, she'd have to shave her arms every 3 days, with stubble by day 2. She can't shave her legs every day because she gets razor bumps if she does. We assume she'd have the same problem with her arms. At this time, she has no health insurance, so that new facial creme isn't an option. Magic Power has been recommended for her face and arms, but she's leary of skin irritation and chemical burns. So what works for you?

Hi ciara, do not worry about it...grin...sometimes I can go weeks before getting online again...although lately that has not happened. One thing that helps me in regard to question one is posting my age in my profile....grin... I have a personal ad that brought some undesirables because I was vague about what I wanted in a relationship. Early on, I did have some problems with unwanted attention. There are several ways to deal with it, make sure you do not give out your Instant Messaging handle in your profile, In your signature make sure it is obvious that you are not looking for sex but relationships of real quality. One can ignore those that are irritating and obnoxious, if you do not respond they loose interest and go away. I refuse to give out my photo, that puts people off but if leaves those that you would want to interact with anyway. I really do not like sexual advances these days, maybe I would from the right person but I seek connection and intimacy first if those are not there forget it.

Grin.... I am getting long winded aren't I. let me try again.... at first I did get unwanted attention but most left me alone when I made it clear I was not interested. In the midst of all of this, I have had real support emerge and genuine friendships formed because of being open about my MTF transexuality. Tell your friend she can swat the flies.....she may find life long friendships, it is worth it. I rarely get bothered these days.

On question number two, I am sorry to say there is no product out there that works for hair removal other than electrolysis and Laser removal. The cream one you mentioned is the first I have heard of. I tried some gadgets and creams....the gadgets claim to work but do not, I was too heavy on usage once with hair removal cream and got a nice chemical burn. Right now I wait for the hormones to see how much hair growth will be reduced, so I am using nothing, I shave sometimes but do not like the bumps and ingrown hairs that occur. Like her I am waiting for the right financial opportunity for electrolysis. I am not familiar with the disease you mention...does it affect hormone levels and hence promote the growth of hair? Can her doctor give her hormone replacement therapy to control it?

Always a delight to hear from you ciara Sorry I did not have any answers for your woman friend.

Gianna

 

[snowy ciara]

Thank you for reading me, Gianna!


I had the name of the syndrome wrong, it's polycyctic ovarian syndrome. This website explains it the best...
PCOS info . In her case it manifests as very irregular periods, hair on her arms, face and hands, and hellish PMS when she does menstruate. There's a thread over on the How To forums, but I was thinking that some of my buds over here may have had similar hirsute issues. She doesn't have insurance, so Dr visits are pricey, but since being on the Pill can help somewhat, she's going to go see Planned Parenthood after next payday to see if they can get her a low cost prescription. She was diagnosed before she changed jobs and she had a regular dr then. She and her husband are in the "poverty gap" that's currently being ig-fucking-nored in this country. None of any of their jobs offers insurance to part timers (she has 2 jobs, he has 3) and they make too much money for the state system. But that's a rant for another day....

For those of you interested, the facial hair cream is called Vaniqa, and here's the link to their website: hair retardation stuff. Maybe it'll work for y'all too.

 

[submissy_ve]

Thank you for reading me, Gianna!


I had the name of the syndrome wrong, it's polycyctic ovarian syndrome. This website explains it the best...
PCOS info . In her case it manifests as very irregular periods, hair on her arms, face and hands, and hellish PMS when she does menstruate. There's a thread over on the How To forums, but I was thinking that some of my buds over here may have had similar hirsute issues. She doesn't have insurance, so Dr visits are pricey, but since being on the Pill can help somewhat, she's going to go see Planned Parenthood after next payday to see if they can get her a low cost prescription. She was diagnosed before she changed jobs and she had a regular dr then. She and her husband are in the "poverty gap" that's currently being ig-fucking-nored in this country. None of any of their jobs offers insurance to part timers (she has 2 jobs, he has 3) and they make too much money for the state system. But that's a rant for another day....

For those of you interested, the facial hair cream is called Vaniqa, and here's the link to their website: hair retardation stuff. Maybe it'll work for y'all too.

Has your friend tried waxing?
I'd be leary of Vaniqua only because their website states "it must be used with your regular unwanted hair removal treatments."

 

[Pas_de_Fierte]

Hello, all. I'm a transguy (that would be FTM, FYI, BTW. ;D) in my early 20s. I've been on T for 16 months, and had my double-incision mastectomy earlier this year, and it's healed fabulously.

I identify as bisexual, though I lean toward attraction to males.

It seems like we transfellows don't seem to get much recognition, eh? Though less exposure in some ways seems to be a blessing, since so much of society has vastly negative attitudes toward transpeople. On the other hand, less exposure means that our medical providers-- whether therapists, doctors, or insurance --don't see our needs as viable enough to which to cater.