Cactusjack a pic thread…

Rinsing the rough day away
But some of it, I’m sure, will stay
Locked in my body and in my brain
Released as an ache, scream, or pain
Try as I might it just never goes
That thought that no one knows
“Did I do enough or did I not?”
Buried inside to fester and rot
“Was it my fault? What did I do?”
Twisting, churning like a screw
Breaking my mind, torn, shattered
Pieces around me lay scattered
Picking them up some get lost
Paid back later at quite a cost
I’ll never get fully put back together
Always missing parts forever and ever

😊nothing to see here😊
 
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Rinsing the rough day away
But some of it, I’m sure, will stay
Locked in my body and in my brain
Released as an ache, scream, or pain
Try as I might it just never goes
That thought that no one knows
“Did I do enough or did I not?”
Buried inside to fester and rot
“Was it my fault? What did I do?”
Twisting, churning like a screw
Breaking my mind, torn, shattered
Pieces around me lay scattered
Picking them up some get lost
Paid back later at quite a cost
I’ll never get fully put back together
Always missing parts forever and ever
🫂
 
Cold invades every place in me
Freezing what used to be
The water cleans and warms
Washing away other harms
Sore and now wet I think
Could this push me over the brink
For now I hope to thaw, melt
Feelings creep up that shouldn’t be felt
Wash, rinse and repeat again
Hoping the cleanse will begin
To erase all the days muck and grime
Keeping me clean, at least for a time
Tomorrow will come fast I pray
Hoping to make it through another day
😊just missed it😊
 
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Rinsing the rough day away
But some of it, I’m sure, will stay
Locked in my body and in my brain
Released as an ache, scream, or pain
Try as I might it just never goes
That thought that no one knows
“Did I do enough or did I not?”
Buried inside to fester and rot
“Was it my fault? What did I do?”
Twisting, churning like a screw
Breaking my mind, torn, shattered
Pieces around me lay scattered
Picking them up some get lost
Paid back later at quite a cost
I’ll never get fully put back together
Always missing parts forever and ever
Powerful words. Hope you find some effective glue to piece together the parts
 
Cold invades every place in me
Freezing what used to be
The water cleans and warms
Washing away other harms
Sore and now wet I think
Could this push me over the brink
For now I hope to thaw, melt
Feelings creep up that shouldn’t be felt
Wash, rinse and repeat again
Hoping the cleanse will begin
To erase all the days muck and grime
Keeping me clean, at least for a time
Tomorrow will come fast I pray
Hoping to make it through another day
And the view is spectacular! 🥵 🥵
 
But I'm tired, I will always be afraid
Of the damage I've received
Broken promises they made
And how blindly I believed (this is all I know)
I will never break away (can't break free)
'Cause when I'm alone
I'm lost in these memories
Living behind my own illusion
Lost all my dignity
Living inside my own confusion
—Lost by Linkin Park

☺️no more photo☺️
 
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I lay awake and stare into space
The time my mind decides to race
Dazed, confused but always thinking
Did I make a mistake to stop drinking
It calmed the nerves, quieted my mind
A peace and silence I almost never find
But the dark looms its head again
Demons of past I can’t let win

So I’ll deal with the sleepless nights
Enduring the next days trials and fights
An endless cycle round and round
Stillness is almost never found
I won’t give up, I can’t give up
Nothing to pour but water in my cup
 
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