By the way I got married

[wishfulthinking]

Me: When?
Brother: Today?
Me: er, congratulations.
Brother: I haven't told mum and dad yet
Me: well, I won't say anything [fuck, shoot the messenger and all that]

We all live in the same city. I'm a bit angry. I saw him and her on both days before the day they got married. They both went to work afterwards. My brother doesn't like fuss. We aren't fussers

Am I over reacting?

 

[kendo1]

Just wait untill he tells them that you knew.
I suppose it is no-one else's business, but it is normal to tell your parents.

 

[Liar]

Sounds just like my parents.

 

[Aurora Black]

No, I don't think you're overreacting at all. Why would they get married without informing any of you? It's odd, to say the least. Hi, by the way.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

It might have been nice if he at least sent out an email with the wedding photo attached.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

If my brother got maried withou ttelling me, he had best have the shotgun marks in is back to prove the only expolanation I would accept.

 

[glynndah]

It all depends on how close you are as a family. My mother got married and didn't tell me.

 

[wishfulthinking]

CD, No photos. We don't even know who the witness was.

Even if he just told us that he was going to do it. It's his life, and how he wants to get married, that is up to him. They have been together for 10 years, so it wasn't a complete surprise. We are very close.

Kendo, you were right about the parents

Hi back Aurora!

Colly, exactly how I felt.

 

[minsue]

As one who had to do the, "By the way I got married," speech to family and friends, it's not necessarily a matter of closeness or meant to cause offense. Not always, anyway.

This time I was made to promise that we won't elope, though. Fair 'nuff.

 

[matriarch]

As one who had to do the, "By the way I got married," speech to family and friends, it's not necessarily a matter of closeness or meant to cause offense. Not always, anyway.

This time I was made to promise that we won't elope, though. Fair 'nuff.

Too damn right.........although it does have a certain appeal.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Although, I do have to admit, if I ever have to get married again my next wedding will be a Vegas Special. (Hopefully a Drive-Thru with at least one Elvis involved.)

 

[wishfulthinking]

I know he didn't mean to hurt anyone. He's just not normal. (passed denial, on to acceptance )

I myself don't want a big wedding. A celebrant on the beach with 10 people or less would be my idea of perfection.

 

[australwind]

My uncle married (for the third time) in such a fashion. He and his now wife had been living together for some number of years and decided that an early morning visit to the registry office before work would make it all legal.

As family, we were told a few weeks later, and only when it came up in conversation casually.

I couldn't have considered doing that when young but now.....at the ripe old age of "I should know better", something quiet and simple is all I would want. Whether my family were there or not, or even knew or not, would be completely irrelevent as far as I was concerned.

I wwould choose to do what was important to my man and to me ..... not what my family thought was right.

Quite frankly, they've interferred once too often to be considered in any plans I might have for the future.

 

[hugo_sam]

Sounds just like my parents.

Me too on this one Liar. Married for about 4-5 months before parents found out and then it was actually from someone else. Big Drama, but then again it would have been anyway...so.....
Needless to say not close. And it was not a young kids thing. I was 25 and her 22. Young but not overly so.
JMHO

Hugo

 

[Guest]

Well... let's see

Marriage number one: my parents didn't know because of their over running LOVE for me (coughcoughbullshitcoughcough), his parents knew because we had been planning a big wedding and had to change it because he was being sent overseas unfortunately before the wedding date... did I tell anyone else but them, nope, why because they choose to behave the way they do so I have no truck ignoring them

Marriage number two: neither of us told the parents, why me, see reason above, him because he just didn't care

Marriage number three: mine still don't know, I don't think they want to know, which is the status quo, his know as does his entire family, it is definitely different and fun

Should you be upset.... I don't think so, why? because it is his life, his choice and there is a very good possiblity that he didnt want all of the pomp and etc that went with telling the entire planet that they were getting married, maybe they just wanted to be married without having to pay oodles of money for people to stand around, eat food that they don't necessarily want that cost the couple a small fortune, or they didn't want the entire world to comment and poke and prod at their relationship... occassionally the couples reasons far outweigh the upsettedness of the families

 

[Boxlicker101]

The first time I got married, it was on a Saturday. I went to work on Monday and didn't mention it to anybody. On Tuesday, the woman who handled personnel matters like this was there and I went to her to get my wife added to my insurance. She was very surprised that I had gotten married and told some others, who were also surprised. I was asked, "Why didn't you tell anybody?" The question surprised me and I answered, completely honestly, "Nobody asked me."

 

[Alessia Brio]

I have a rather un-romantic view of marriage, and if ever again single, I would only consider it for legal purposes (next of kin, child custody, etc.)

I don't need some "official" document telling the world I've made a commitment. It's none of the world's business. My partner(s) know how I feel. That's all that matters.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I wish people would get over the pomp and circumstance of marriage. Vella and I went far away to do something quite outside the norm. To begin with, we knew most family/friends wouldn't be able to make it. Therefore, we made no big stink about it. Secondly, we couldn't be certain that some friends/family would have the right kind of supportive attitude. The bottom line was, we set standards for what that day was to be like in our lives and handled things accordingly. We didn't feel it should have been taken as an afront because the thing that mattered most was that we said what we had to say and did what we had to do in order to commit to one another. To be honest, I'm glad we did things the way we did. Even though it ruffled some feathers with family. I believe now (and always will) that some people never would have been able to find the love and happiness in the entire ceremony. And you can ask a few people around here if there was any shortage of those two things to be found.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

A wedding is a bonus. Charming, but hardly necessary. It's the relationship that counts. In any case, this situation reminds me of my landlady's current feud with her mother over the latter's abrupt and secret remarriage to a real asshole. The man has no manners. He won't even acknowledge her in her own house the way a guest would, let alone a stepfather. They were together for 2 years before my landlady found out. Damn, that sucks!

 

[the captians wench]

Me: When?
Brother: Today?
Me: er, congratulations.
Brother: I haven't told mum and dad yet
Me: well, I won't say anything [fuck, shoot the messenger and all that]

We all live in the same city. I'm a bit angry. I saw him and her on both days before the day they got married. They both went to work afterwards. My brother doesn't like fuss. We aren't fussers

Am I over reacting?

*giggles*
That's pretty much the same way I got married, except that I told him that he had to call my mom and let her know. But the next day my mom and I were hosting a baby shower for my eldest cousin, and it was like "hey all, by the way I got married yesterday and after the party I need help moving my stuff out" *giggles* You know, it was only a month or so after that, that that same cousin went off and got married herself.

 

[oggbashan]

My parents' old friends were about to reach their 50th Wedding Anniversary and their children didn't know the exact date of the wedding. They wanted to organise a surprise party for the nearest weekend.

The children asked my parents who were vague about the exact date their friends had got married. They knew that it must have been shortly before the two families lived side by side in new houses. My father decided to ask the friends casually but outright... 'By the way, when will you be celebrating your 50th anniversary?'

The shit hit the fan!

Back in the 1930s in the UK, when a female Civil Servant married, she had to resign. She would be paid a gratuity but would lose her job, her career and her pension. The friends couldn't afford that because they were buying a newly-built house with their joint income. What they did was move into the new house in the newly constructed neighbourhood and tell their neighbours that they were 'Mr and Mrs.'. At work, they would still be Mr X and Miss Y, who just happened to have similar addresses. That situation lasted until the 1950s when the Civil Service rules changed slightly.

However, having lived as husband and wife for years in their community, and as singles at work, they didn't bother to marry. So their children were born out of wedlock. Because their mother was still single she preserved her pension rights when she stopped work to produce children.

My parents persuaded their friends to tell the children the exact situation. The children took it very well.

The 50th Wedding Anniversary party turned into a full-scale church wedding. The parents married on what should have been their 50th anniversary, with their children as witnesses and grandchildren as bridesmaids and pageboys.

The wedding made a centre spread of the local paper but no one criticised the parents for 'living-in-sin' for 50 years. The 1980s were much more relaxed than the 1930s.

Og

PS. She still gets her pension, and now he has passed on, half of his as well. Living-in-sin was profitable.

 

[Aurora Black]

My parents' old friends were about to reach their 50th Wedding Anniversary and their children didn't know the exact date of the wedding. They wanted to organise a surprise party for the nearest weekend.

The children asked my parents who were vague about the exact date their friends had got married. They knew that it must have been shortly before the two families lived side by side in new houses. My father decided to ask the friends casually but outright... 'By the way, when will you be celebrating your 50th anniversary?'

The shit hit the fan!

Back in the 1930s in the UK, when a female Civil Servant married, she had to resign. She would be paid a gratuity but would lose her job, her career and her pension. The friends couldn't afford that because they were buying a newly-built house with their joint income. What they did was move into the new house in the newly constructed neighbourhood and tell their neighbours that they were 'Mr and Mrs.'. At work, they would still be Mr X and Miss Y, who just happened to have similar addresses. That situation lasted until the 1950s when the Civil Service rules changed slightly.

However, having lived as husband and wife for years in their community, and as singles at work, they didn't bother to marry. So their children were born out of wedlock. Because their mother was still single she preserved her pension rights when she stopped work to produce children.

My parents persuaded their friends to tell the children the exact situation. The children took it very well.

The 50th Wedding Anniversary party turned into a full-scale church wedding. The parents married on what should have been their 50th anniversary, with their children as witnesses and grandchildren as bridesmaids and pageboys.

The wedding made a centre spread of the local paper but no one criticised the parents for 'living-in-sin' for 50 years. The 1980s were much more relaxed than the 1930s.

Og

PS. She still gets her pension, and now he has passed on, half of his as well. Living-in-sin was profitable.

Long live living-in-sin! *pops champagne cork*

 

[wishfulthinking]

Nice story Ogg!

They are now telling us that they will have a formal celebration at the end of the year down in South Australia [we are all in Queensland] so her mother can attend, and they will fly us all down.

She told my parents that her sister has to do something, so she will organise the invitations and shit. I heard secondhand that my brother then piped up and said that his sister will have to do something too. Eek.

They are weird.

 

[Guest]

Too damn right.........although it does have a certain appeal.

OOOOooooo!!!
lets do an Olivia cruise and gather all our lezbean friends who want to get hitched.
can you imagine?
*shiver*
how much fun!

 

[Aurora Black]

OOOOooooo!!!
lets do an Olivia cruise and gather all our lezbean friends who want to get hitched.
can you imagine?
*shiver*
how much fun!

Come to Lesbos, it's fantastic in the early summer.