Bullying

[SkAoUt]

Its been about a month since the death of Amanda Todd (In fact they just had a final memorial service for her yesterday. She would have been 16 on Nov. 27th.) And her suicide has once again shone the spotlight on bullying. Especially bullying online.

Many of you wouldn't be aware of Amanda Todd. She committed suicide this past Oct. 10th. But before she did she posted this youtube vid. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRxfTyNa24A.

Here is a better account of the events that led up to her taking her life. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Amanda_Todd

I suppose I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on bullying? How to better equip young people being bullied at school and online? Was anyone the recipient of ostracization when they were in their teens? Did anyone step in and confront a bully or group of supporters?

I'd read ages ago that the best way to stop bullying is the support of bystanders. Bullies keep bullying because the get away with it. When bystanders step in a shame the bully they generally back off. Anyone have experience with this sort of approach?

 

[dolf]

i can't watch that. managed all of 30 seconds.
i can't imagine what hell her parents are living through.

i'll have an opinion when i get it together. ten minutes.

 

[dolf]

have you looked at the magazine stands lately? the front pages are spattered with comments on celebs' flaws, weight gained, weight lost, sex lives & family life, fashion failings and uncomfortable moments. our kids are fed these messages from birth. every time they overhear an adult cal a woman a slut, whore, tart, hussy, slag, bike, dyke they are being taught to condemn girls like amanda. they soak it up and carry it inside them. racism, homophobia, judging people on their bodies...

kids mirror adult society.

 

[blobfish]

I don't know, but I think that anyone that kills themself over bullying is probably not right to begin with. Lots of people are bullied, in varying degrees, but not many commit suicide. I think it speaks to an inherent fragility.

 

[bg23]

I don't know, but I think that anyone that kills themself over bullying is probably not right to begin with. Lots of people are bullied, in varying degrees, but not many commit suicide. I think it speaks to an inherent fragility.

Background and suicide

On September 7, 2012, Todd posted a 9-minute YouTube video entitled My Story: Struggling, bullying, suicide and self harm, which showed her using a series of flash cards to tell of her experiences being bullied. The video post went viral, receiving over 1,600,000 views by October 13, 2012,[12] with online newspapers around the world linking to it.[13]
During the video Todd says when she was in Grade 7 she used video chat to meet new people over the internet and she received compliments on her looks. A stranger convinced Todd to bare her breasts on camera. The individual later blackmailed her with threats to expose the topless photo to her friends unless she gave a "show".[14]
Todd says that during the next Christmas break, police informed her that the photo was circulating the internet. The news caused Todd to experience anxiety, major depression and panic disorder. Her family moved to a new home, but she began taking drugs and alcohol. Her anxiety worsened to a point where she could not leave the house.[14]
A year later the individual reappeared, creating a Facebook profile which used the topless photograph as the profile image, and contacting classmates at her new school. Again Todd was teased, eventually changing school for a second time. She says she began chatting to "an old guy friend" who appeared to her. The friend asked Todd to come to his house where they had sex while his girlfriend was on holiday.[15] The following week the girlfriend and a group of others attacked Todd at school; shouting insults and punching her to the ground. Following the attack, Todd attempted suicide by drinking bleach, but was rushed to hospital to have her stomach pumped.[14]
After returning home Todd discovered abusive messages about her failed suicide attempt posted to Facebook. Her family moved to another city to start afresh, but Todd was unable to escape the past. Six months later further messages and abuse were still being posted to social networking sites. Her mental state worsening, she began to engage in self-mutilation. Despite taking anti-depressants and receiving counselling, she took an overdose and spent two days in hospital.[16]
Todd was teased by other students at her school for her low grades, a consequence of a language-based learning disability, and for spending time in hospital to treat her severe depression.[17]
On October 10, 2012 at about 6:00 PM (PDT), Todd was found hanged at her home.[18][19]

You wouldn't be damaged by what this girl went through?

 

[trysail]

I can't tell you how glad I am not to have anything to do with Facebook. It's colossally stupid.


Zuckerberg & Co. with the aid and connivance of the media and Wall Street have craftily exploited the vanity and herd behavior of humans.


Humans are, of course, as nasty as the rest of nature's critters.

 

[Sean]

Didn't Anonymous out the guy that blackmailed her?

 

[blobfish]

You wouldn't be damaged by what this girl went through?

Maybe, but it seems pretty clear that she had some underlying issues.

 

[bg23]

Maybe, but it seems pretty clear that she had some underlying issues.

Maybe.

I'd also say that anyone vicious enough to put her through what she went through also had some underlying issues.

And so maybe some people are more vulnerable than others to bullying. So what? Does that mean they're any less deserving of protection or that we should try and less to stop out bullying?

 

[Disgustipated]

Didn't Anonymous out the guy that blackmailed her?

http://www.heavy.com/news/2012/10/kody-maxson-amanda-todd-anonymous-help/

 

[dolf]

can a person with no underlying issues raise their hands? i want to know what one looks like.

 

[blobfish]

Maybe.

I'd also say that anyone vicious enough to put her through what she went through also had some underlying issues.

And so maybe some people are more vulnerable than others to bullying. So what? Does that mean they're any less deserving of protection or that we should try and less to stop out bullying?

I didn't say that. My point was that there is probably no way to stop things like this.

 

[Sean]

http://www.heavy.com/news/2012/10/kody-maxson-amanda-todd-anonymous-help/

Ah, that's right. I knew I'd read something about it.

 

[bg23]

I didn't say that. My point was that there is probably no way to stop things like this.

Explain how that relates to your first point, and why not?

 

[blobfish]

Explain how that relates to your first point, and why not?

Some kids are always going to bully, and some of their victims are always going to be a little unstable.

 

[evesdream]

Worth noting that this didn't start out with bullying, but apparently with online predation and abuse of a very young person.

 

[blobfish]

By the way, I'm not saying that the bullies shouldn't be punished. I'd throw the book at them, and try the kids as adults.

 

[blobfish]

Worth noting that this didn't start out with bullying, but apparently with online predation and abuse of a very young person.

Yeah, if they know who did it, I hope they put him under the jail. And whilst there, I hope he gets violently raped every day.

 

[knot_sweet]

This is going to get me flamed...

I was raised with self respect and respect for others. I was raised with the idea that it didn't matter what anyone thought of me but myself.

I was bullied pretty severely through school, but because of my parents and the way they instilled certain beliefs, being bullied never got to me.

Yes, what Amanda Todd went through was awful and ended tragically.

But I'm forced to question...what exactly passes for parenting these days?

 

[Wings]

Some kids are always going to bully, and some of their victims are always going to be a little unstable.

What? Everyone is damaged in one way or another. Bullying is a real thing, the victims aren't victims because they are already unstable. This argument is akin to saying that any woman who wears a short skirt deserves or should expect to be raped.

 

[Wings]

This is going to get me flamed...

I was raised with self respect and respect for others. I was raised with the idea that it didn't matter what anyone thought of me but myself.

I was bullied pretty severely through school, but because of my parents and the way they instilled certain beliefs, being bullied never got to me.

Yes, what Amanda Todd went through was awful and ended tragically.

But I'm forced to question...what exactly passes for parenting these days?

Every "good" parent asks themselves these questions when their son or daughter commits suicide. Every. Single. One.

I'm not flaming you and I'm happy that you had a good support system in place to keep you from doing anything drastic when you are younger but lack of parenting of the victims can't be the problem.

 

[blobfish]

What? Everyone is damaged in one way or another. Bullying is a real thing, the victims aren't victims because they are already unstable. This argument is akin to saying that any woman who wears a short skirt deserves or should expect to be raped.

It's not like that at all. I never said that she, or anyone else, deserved to be bullied, or that she should have expected it. I said that unstable people are always going to be bullied, and they will always do what unstable people do in those situations.

I know you like to inject rape into everything I say, but it doesn't even make sense this time.

 

[SurrealObsession]

I didn't say that. My point was that there is probably no way to stop things like this.

Maybe not. But apathy is the worse response.

 

[blobfish]

Maybe not. But apathy is the worse response.

Confucius say?

 

[KRCummings]

I'm not sure this is a good case to use for bullying because it involves much more than that and isn't the norm. There are other bullying cases that I think are better to use as examples. Hers was a multi-layered thing that seems to have been more about sex than anything else.