bruises

[lucyreed]

Hello all,
I have met a few of you over the last few weeks and now feel bold enough (lol) to post a thread of my own.

I get hugely turned on by bruises.....I adore having them after a rough session...to stand in front of the mirror the next day (and subsequent days) and remember each bite each grab each slap is as good for me as the session itself.

To be at work knowing that beneath my office clothes I am black and blue is one of my biggest pleasures in life and will often see me scampering off to the toilet to have a look and a fiddle.
hi I have moved this to here as I was getting some stick on other parts of the board....hope it is ok to be here?
lucy x

I also get very turned on by having some showing....just a few ...enough to catch the eye below my hemline, up a sleeve hole etc....that someone might see and be intrigued...they may look closer then and if i lift / bend / stretch they may see more evidence of my injuries.

I even love the occasional band aid or ace bandage that might again draw the eye to more hidden subjects.

I also love to see bruises on other girls and I get very moist speculating in my head as to how they got them....masochist? sub? abused? for fun?

Anyway I have probably said enough to get me certified, I just wondered if anyone else feels the same and apologies if this subject has been posted before I am fairly new here.

luv'n'hugs
lucy xxxx

 

[DVS]

Hello all,
I have met a few of you over the last few weeks and now feel bold enough (lol) to post a thread of my own.

I get hugely turned on by bruises.....I adore having them after a rough session...to stand in front of the mirror the next day (and subsequent days) and remember each bite each grab each slap is as good for me as the session itself.

To be at work knowing that beneath my office clothes I am black and blue is one of my biggest pleasures in life and will often see me scampering off to the toilet to have a look and a fiddle.
hi I have moved this to here as I was getting some stick on other parts of the board....hope it is ok to be here?
lucy x

I also get very turned on by having some showing....just a few ...enough to catch the eye below my hemline, up a sleeve hole etc....that someone might see and be intrigued...they may look closer then and if i lift / bend / stretch they may see more evidence of my injuries.

I even love the occasional band aid or ace bandage that might again draw the eye to more hidden subjects.

I also love to see bruises on other girls and I get very moist speculating in my head as to how they got them....masochist? sub? abused? for fun?

Anyway I have probably said enough to get me certified, I just wondered if anyone else feels the same and apologies if this subject has been posted before I am fairly new here.

luv'n'hugs
lucy xxxx

I've spent most of my playing time with women who would seek me out because I have developed my play skills to give pain but limit the bruises. It's difficult and not always as fun as not having to worry about it, but I still have fun.

Many women I've played with desired any bruises to be covered by clothing or none at all, either because they didn't want their family to see them or employees, or even co-workers. Maybe the US is different than the UK, but because of the abuse laws in place, many people can take it upon themselves to call police when they see too many bruises on women, assuming they have been abused. Limiting when bruises can be seen is how many closet submissives keep these do-gooders at bay.

And I'd guess some are like you in how you almost tempt someone to see your bruises...kind of like living dangerously or you enjoy their shock when they see them.

But you are far from in the minority in enjoying your bruises after the session. Many enjoy them as a kind of trophy of the day, and really hate it when they heal. You are not alone in your love of bruises. And I'm sure you are not alone when you stand in front of a mirror and almost relive the session in that way.

So, you've found a home. Welcome to the BDSM forums, lucy.

 

[lucyreed]

that is such a lovely and kind welcome, thank you so much
lucy

 

[LallyH]

DVS is one of several good guys and girls over on this side of the forum. He does have a wicked streak though!

 

[rexhame317]

I am a masochist, and show some of my bruises with pride. My Sir is big into pinching the backs of my arms (right by the armpit/sleeveholes) so I always have something there. He is a biter, especially to get me to orgasm (yes I can from a good bite/beating) so my shoulders are bruised/bitten so I cannot always wear a tank top.

He loves evil sticks, so I have red lines on my breasts, stomach and thighs. I have a heart permantly etched on my ass cheek.

I have gotten into branding/cell popping. I have 2 , one on my front above my breast, and one on my back shoulder. I do not mind showing these. I have also had knife scratches on my upper arms/shoulders/legs from knife play.

I am not ashamed of them, they are who I am. But I do know to cover them if needed. I like touching them after and remembering the scene we had.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Many women I've played with desired any bruises to be covered by clothing or none at all, either because they didn't want their family to see them or employees, or even co-workers. Maybe the US is different than the UK, but because of the abuse laws in place, many people can take it upon themselves to call police when they see too many bruises on women, assuming they have been abused. Limiting when bruises can be seen is how many closet submissives keep these do-gooders at bay.

Also, law enforcement aside, I would think that seeing bruising of this sort could also be uncomfortable & triggering for co-workers with experience of domestic violence. Deliberately showing them those bruises for your own arousal is starting to get into "involving nonconsenting bystanders in your kink" kinda territory.

 

[Malich]

There does need to be some care taken with visible bruising, though it's less likely to get the police called in as it might do in some countries... though, following the recent incident in London you might expect people to be a little more vigilant for wife beaters for a time and have people come up and say "You don't have to put up with it dearie".

My main issue with visible bruises is the potential for them to upset others. I try hard not to leave marks where they can be seen unless they're of a type that can be over looked and will not get my partner asked some funny questions. My most recent ex was a sailor and often had bruises on her legs from that which meant there was some leeway should I mark a little lower than expected.

Partially you also have to worry about making others feel uncomfortable. My kink is not your kink or, in this case, I'm not kinky and seeing bruises on you makes my skin crawl. That's there the issue lies in my opinion (other opinions are available, see pack for details)

From a L.E.O. pov as long as they're not facial bruises or too shocking most people will, alas, just assume you're clumsy and walked into a door rather than calling the police. Though you're always going to have someone see you who is going to worry that what they are seeing is abuse.

That being said, I'll echo the others here. You've come to the right place for discussions, lessons and general chat about BDSM and if you want to join use for some social in the UK Kink Thread in the BDSM Cafe we're open all hours.

Welcome.

 

[bibcat]

I love bruises, especially on my breasts and ass. The only ones I show though are the occasional love bite on my neck or ears. Everyone knows what those are and won't call the police on me. Even those I usually cover (or am sure to ask my partner to avoid giving) if it's during the semester when I'm teaching.

 

[keeley1974]

Many years ago when i used to have a man that liked to play rough, he would always use handcuffs on me, i loved the marks they left on my wrists for a couple of days afterwards, a sweet reminder of what had happened between us x

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

As a professional who works with vulnerable adults and children, its my duty of care to report bruising on them to ensure that abuse is not occurring.
Seeing a person in the street or work colleague with visible bruises would raise eyebrows, and I would (and have) asked discreetly if everything was ok, and was able to guide the person to help when it turned out she had the early stages of AML. Had the bruises not been pointed out, the diagnosis would have been much later.
As someone who works with autistic individuals, I am often on the receiving end of thumping, kicking, wheelchair throwing and more. My visible bruises are from my job, not from my kink.

Kink wise I prefer not to show signs of hard play. Its my kink and people just don't understand, and I have no intention of explaining to all comers that for enjoyment, I like to be spanked, flogged and whipped hard enough to leave welts and contusions, because sadly we still do live in a world that is not accepting of this type of kink and outing myself might jeopardise my job.

 

[edevane]

I love having bruises, kind of like badges of honour, but I'm still in school so I absolutely can not have them showing, it'd lead to awkward questions. But in places covered by my suit, I can't get enough. Last summer I actually had a bruise in the shape of my boyfriend's fingers on my right breast, that was just fantastic.

Covering up is a tricky issue though, around my friends who know what I'm into I'm fine to show them off, but out and about or around my family can lead to awkward questions, or, as has already been mentioned, can be triggering. Sometimes bruises just can't be covered up, especially if you like choking and biting, does anyone try to cover those up with makeup? I've never had much success with that

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

The legal stuff

This is rather interesting in regards to the way that English Law would treat BSDMers. I say English as Scotland has a different legal systemm
https://fetlife.com/groups/75983/group_posts/3883808

It is certainly food for thought!

 

[Malich]

This is rather interesting in regards to the way that English Law would treat BSDMers. I say English as Scotland has a different legal systemm
https://fetlife.com/groups/75983/group_posts/3883808

It is certainly food for thought!

Yep, that's been doing the rounds here for a few years. I can be jailed for using any of those things I bought today, or my hands, even with consent.

Same way many of the pics / vids i have taken during sessions are illegal now un the Violent Crimes Reduction Act (VCRA)

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Yep, that's been doing the rounds here for a few years. I can be jailed for using any of those things I bought today, or my hands, even with consent.

Same way many of the pics / vids i have taken during sessions are illegal now un the Violent Crimes Reduction Act (VCRA)

Going off at a slight tangent to the OP, but it makes contracts seem like a good idea, if the law will recognise that the sub is totally consenting. Under the MCA 2005n every adult is deemed to have the mental capacity to make a decision if they meet the criteria of being able to demonstrate that they have no mental impairment (including the use of drugs and alcohol) understand the decision, being able to retain the information pertinent to the decision, understand the implications that making the decision will have on them and clearly communicate the decision.

Under this law, a sub initiating and writing a contract, should be considered to be sane and to have the capacity to make the decision.

The laws contradict and confuse!

 

[Malich]

Going off at a slight tangent to the OP, but it makes contracts seem like a good idea, if the law will recognise that the sub is totally consenting. Under the MCA 2005n every adult is deemed to have the mental capacity to make a decision if they meet the criteria of being able to demonstrate that they have no mental impairment (including the use of drugs and alcohol) understand the decision, being able to retain the information pertinent to the decision, understand the implications that making the decision will have on them and clearly communicate the decision.

Under this law, a sub initiating and writing a contract, should be considered to be sane and to have the capacity to make the decision.

The laws contradict and confuse!

I think laws on violent crime would trump contract law.

 

[Malich]

Also, any more recent law takes precedence in most cases.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

I think laws on violent crime would trump contract law.

MCA is The Mental Capacity Act
In the past it has been argued that no one could consent to having pain inflicted upon them as this (clearly) would not be a sane thing to do. Using the MCA could seen to show capacity and sanity, which might be a compelling arguement.

It hasn't yet been tested in the courts, but I would expect it to be a matter of time.

 

[LallyH]

Going off at another slight tangent, a few years ago one of my female employees arrived at work with facial bruising and I was alerted that her husband was responsible.

I offered her support and help if she wanted to involve the police, but like a lot of women subject to domestic violence, she was scared that it would cause more difficulties than it would solve. I then had some difficulty in preventing some of the male employees from taking matters into their own hands and 'having a word' with the husband.

The irony was that a couple of years later, she discovered he was having an affair with their daughter's best friend, a girl some 20 years younger. My female employee then went round to the girl's flat, punched her and was prosecuted and convicted of assault.

From my own point of view, like others here, I enjoy seeing some slight physical reminders of play the following day. However, as we have children in the house who may walk in when I am not completely clothed, it is vital that any marks can be covered by underwear.

 

[lucyreed]

hi all,
I feel kinda sorry that i posted....i completely agree of course that any kind of non consensual abuse is absolutely wrong but I thought it would be ok to confess my fetish here and I am sorry if i have upset anyone or raised more serious issues than I intended :-(
lucy x

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

hi all,
I feel kinda sorry that i posted....i completely agree of course that any kind of non consensual abuse is absolutely wrong but I thought it would be ok to confess my fetish here and I am sorry if i have upset anyone or raised more serious issues than I intended :-(
lucy x

Lucy its great that we can debate and get things out in the open, and it is also a good idea to know how the laws affect you in your kink.
I don't think there is a sub here who hasn't had a bruise or two, or a Dom that hasn't inflicted them

Visible bruising is just one of those things that does cause comment.

 

[lucyreed]

thanks Daisy...just quite new here and don't want to rock boat and certainly don't want to upset anyone or trigger anyone.

 

[Malich]

thanks Daisy...just quite new here and don't want to rock boat and certainly don't want to upset anyone or trigger anyone.

In this forums you're unlikely to shock too many people. IT's more the Real World we have to be careful of

In here, ask what you want but remember there's people here who will take any topic way deeper than you think possible

 

[DVS]

hi all,
I feel kinda sorry that i posted....i completely agree of course that any kind of non consensual abuse is absolutely wrong but I thought it would be ok to confess my fetish here and I am sorry if i have upset anyone or raised more serious issues than I intended :-(
lucy x

Actually, this thread could give someone the necessary information they need. You shouldn't feel sorry at all for starting it. Sure, there will always be those who have apposing views, but that's just life. And there is always a bad side to the good.

For every bruise inflicted in love or sexual passion, there is at least one inflicted from abuse. It's a sad double edged sword and one of the things we have to deal with in the BDSM lifestyle. BDSM is still seen as abuse by those who don't understand. There are laws in place to help those who have been abused and someone with BDSM bruises can very easily look that way.

In fact, I've seen BDSM relationships that looked very much like abuse to me, even though I was assured by the submissive that it wasn't. There is sometimes a very fine line between the two. Because of that, caution is urged by some, when exposing our bruises to the outside world.

Some people who see bruises on us will always assume the worst. It can be confusing for them, just as it can be difficult for us to explain. Those laws that are in place can also be a double edged sword. I've never cared for contracts, but in some areas it might save someone from false accusations. I'm not saying something like that is the answer, but it is at least a choice to think about.

I wouldn't feel sorry at all for starting this thread. If fact, I think it is a very good thing. This is what happens to many threads in the Talk forum. The topic gets twisted or poked and sometimes ends up going deeper than the OP intended.

Your love for bruises is one that is shared by many, here. As I told you before, this is the right place for that. But, in this case it seems some are just urging caution. That's because all bruises look the same, regardless of how they were inflicted.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Going off at a slight tangent to the OP, but it makes contracts seem like a good idea, if the law will recognise that the sub is totally consenting. Under the MCA 2005n every adult is deemed to have the mental capacity to make a decision if they meet the criteria of being able to demonstrate that they have no mental impairment (including the use of drugs and alcohol) understand the decision, being able to retain the information pertinent to the decision, understand the implications that making the decision will have on them and clearly communicate the decision.

Under this law, a sub initiating and writing a contract, should be considered to be sane and to have the capacity to make the decision.

The laws contradict and confuse!

Not sure if this is the same thing Sweetdaisymae linked to (I'm not on Fet) but unless they've changed it recently, English legal precedent doesn't recognise consent as a defense to a charge of assault - see the Spanner case.

According to this site there are similar precedents in the USA.

If you're in a situation where consent is not accepted as a defense, a contract is not going to be helpful and might even worsen your situation. (Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer.)

 

[Malich]

Not sure if this is the same thing Sweetdaisymae linked to (I'm not on Fet) but unless they've changed it recently, English legal precedent doesn't recognise consent as a defense to a charge of assault - see the Spanner case.

According to this site there are similar precedents in the USA.

If you're in a situation where consent is not accepted as a defense, a contract is not going to be helpful and might even worsen your situation. (Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer.)

There is case law out there, somewhere, that says you cannot make a contract that negates the law as written or established case law. If you could you could contract for all sorts of illegal things