Brit thread.

[Guest]

Pops' NaNo novel, which is now on Lit (The not quite famous slightly secret six and a half) is very British, and pure genius. It's written in a very English way, and is a must read for any fans of quirky Britishisms.

Here's how I'd begin one of my own, spoken in my bestest, broadest West Cuntry accent:

OoooaRRR, oooArrrr, 'ello there you sexy youngun. OoooaRRR, wanna see moi fanny, me luvver? Oi've got a bit 'o corn hangin' oiut moi moiuf.

Lou

 

[Carl East]

I say old man, spiffing good idea, what what? Top ho and all that.

The Earl

I just thank the almighty that we don't really talk like this. lol

Carl

 

[TheEarl]

Scones and cream on your desk.

What ever you need to suck on as long as you stay away from the fags.

I kind of like this thread, wondering after hearing Katie and others talk funny. Has anyone put to gether a story in Brit accent?

I know it might not score that high but it would be a new interesting read. Any multi talented writers here?


Phildo

Phildo - All of my stories are in an English accent; don't think there's that much difference. Haven't heard any complaints about my manner of speech yet.

The question is who will be the first person to put together a story told in first person through rhyming slang?

I might try that.

I footered down her lion's and rode the white wave in her Chevy Chase

The Earl

 

[English Lady]

If i remember correctly Alex De Kok did a piece in the Geordie Accent....


All my stories come over as "British" I always get some feedback saying so *L*

 

[pop_54]

Phildo - All of my stories are in an English accent; don't think there's that much difference. Haven't heard any complaints about my manner of speech yet.

The question is who will be the first person to put together a story told in first person through rhyming slang?

I might try that.

I footered down her lion's and rode the white wave in her Chevy Chase

The Earl

I’m from Oxenford don’t you know, we don’t do cockney talk round here, damn common lot up there. We all speak as though we have a plum in our mouth, (but I can try a short one Earl mate, not a personal comment that of course).

Funny the old Trouble had one of me plums in her North earlier; about 5 minutes fore she had me Hampden up her Garry, and me swinging on her Bristol’s, but thas anuver Jack.

Ere we had a luverly bit of Lillian for tea tonight, always makes me Jam a bit later does Lillian, I washed it down with a drop of Pimple; the old Trouble had a cup of Rosy.

Truth to tell folks, we had the old landlord’s tally man round last night after his pound of flesh, bloody old Front Wheel, don’t give you no grace. I wus up the Apples in the kaazi, I’d just had a Gypsy’s and was shaking me Blackpool dry, er-indoors shouts up, “Oi, more than three shakes is a Pedal, get your Khyber down ere and see to the rent,” So I zips up me Round’s and goes down the Apples. Well the old Four-be gets a bit iffy about me having no Bee’s to pay him like, so I has to give him some grief don’t I. I offers him a spank in the North and a knee in the Orchestra’s if he don’t bugger off and come back next week, well he’s a bit of a Horses so he didn’t argue like.

Well we lives in a nice little pad don’t we, four up and three down like, happy family, we been Cut for 26 yrs now, we got three lovely Saucepan’s. Nice comfy little Jam on the front drive, bit short on road tax, but don’t tell the Old Bill if you know what I’m saying.

I likes to go down the old Rub of an evening for a few jars of falling down water, always dresses up nice like, smart pair of Rounds and a nice clean Dickey, sometimes even puts me Whistle on, I don’t lash out a lot, sometimes a Cock, never more than Land. The old Dirty gets a bit miffed at me trying me luck with the local slappers, “Oi! Get you ands orf er crumpet you old Sudden,” She shouts if me Hampden takes a boner and I gets a bit familiar wiv one like.

Cor, that wus a biggun, just dropped a wet Jam in me Round’s, and don’t it Pen, fink I need a Pony after that nosh earlier. Oh no! Bloody parrot’s just done a Tom on me shoulder now as well, dirty little bastard, must go folks, have a turn-out and clean up.

(Thesaurus available at no extra charge for the uninitiated)

Oh by the way, Hello all you crazy Brit’s and colonials brave enough to venture in here.

pops

 

[pop_54]

If i remember correctly Alex De Kok did a piece in the Geordie Accent....


All my stories come over as "British" I always get some feedback saying so *L*

I get that one a lot as well darling, Quote: It was a good story, and I got quite horny reading it, but it was too British, so I only gave it a 2 vote. You should try being more Mid Atlantic. Unquote.

This was from Anon, so Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms Anon, "Fuck off you wanker/ess".

pops

PS: Nice tits.

 

[Guest]

Pops, that was chuffing brilliant! I understood every word.

Bet that lot from over there didn't.

I *LOVE* your style.

Loulou

P.S. You should try submitting that, and see what they make of it. No doubt it would get placed in "Non-English". Hahaha!

 

[pop_54]

Pops, that was chuffing brilliant! I understood every word.

Bet that lot from over there didn't.

I *LOVE* your style.

Loulou

P.S. You should try submitting that, and see what they make of it. No doubt it would get placed in "Non-English". Hahaha!

Or "Incest", anything but the right category Ta love

 

[lewdandlicentious]

Yayyyy, now the Pops is here, the team seems complete.

Heyup me ol' china!

 

[Guest]

I'm putting the kettle on. Anyone fancy a cuppa?

One lump, or two?

Lou

 

[SadieRose]

OoooaRRR, wanna see moi fanny, me luvver?
Lou

Mmmmm, yes please!


*slaps myself*

Where was I? mmmh... yes, trying to write Rayne with a consistent Estuary drawl. Such a pain in the arse! "Aooww fackin' 'ell! No fackin' canstanents on the frants an' ends of me wireds! Me apostraphe key's woorn aaht!"

Yes, on reflection, I think I will have a cup of tea. And a scone... Ta very much, luv.

 

[lewdandlicentious]

Coffe at this time dear, I have my own sweeteners. sweet enuff you see!!

 

[Guest]

LMAO!

You funny, Sadie!

Right, tea's up.

Lou

 

[Guest]

Coffe at this time dear, I have my own sweeteners. sweet enuff you see!!

Coffee???

You won't sleep tonight. You'll be tossing and turning for hours.

I'll agree on the sweet bit.

Lou

 

[SadieRose]

Hmmmn...

Tossing, maybe *smiles sweetly*

But what I do in my private life is of no concern to anyone else.




Love the Oxney Slang, Pops! Even understood most of it (The North, you know! Haven't dusted off the old phrase book in such a long time)
xx

 

[pop_54]

Coffee???

You won't sleep tonight. You'll be tossing and turning for hours.

I'll agree on the sweet bit.

Lou

No not hours for me love, I get fed up with it after 10 minutes if nothing's happened and get someone else to do it.

 

[Guest]

To both of ya!

Lou

 

[lewdandlicentious]

Sadie, Love your location.

You just wanna shag Harry Potter don't you????

 

[Guest]

I love your location, too!

 

[SadieRose]

Sadie, Love your location.

You just wanna shag Harry Potter don't you????

No.. I want to shag Lucius Malfoy, but that was a shrewd guess!

heheh... *Pic was taken at Ramsbottom Station yesterday, hot lookin' engine, no?*

 

[A7inchPhildo]

I wus up the Apples in the kaazi, (Kaazi ??)
I’d just had a Gypsy’s and was shaking me Blackpool dry, (Backpool??)

but don’t tell the Old Bill if you know what I’m saying. (Not really I guess tax collector)

Ok that was great! I read it real slow three times and it became funnier each time. However some words I just could not place from context.

The gals from the BBC antique show talk, not as rude but much like that. I think they are quite the trip to listen to. (Not on the air) I look forward to them in september.

I am going to go check out some of the other suggestions. I don't think that most folks want to bother trying to figure out what you said when getting ready to wank. None the less it is entertaining breaking the code in which you speak.


sadierose, I think it is steaming hot!

I'll pass on the tea, I brought my own cup of Java thank you very much though.

 

[oggbashan]

Brit confusion...

You have had slang, now here's a repeat of impenetrable:

How NOT to do it...

The roseate Sun, Phoebus’ orb, was glinting in the puddles and dappling the fallen leaves of the ancient forest as Joan made her way along the footpath leading from her rustic rose-entwined cottage, so beloved of tourists and her infrequent visitors from the city who left as soon as they reasonably could because the cottage lacked the basic amenities than any twenty-first century city dweller expected as of right such as satellite television and even running hot and cold water both of which were lacking, towards the steeple crowned hill on which the Parish Church sat as it had done for more than a thousand years surveying the expanding and contracting village in the valley beneath and perhaps regretting the earlier centuries when it had been filled to capacity by local residents each in their proper place and order according to the standards of the time, but Joan diverted from the direct route to the Church at a junction and was now heading in the direction of the Evening Star, the planet Venus known as Aphrodite to the Greeks but whether Greek or Roman was the personification of sexual desire, which sexual desire Joan was expecting to assuage once she reached her destination but in the meantime she was diverted by the interplay of light and shade from the evening sun as it sank lower on the horizon turning the landscape to a darkening ruddy hue which darkened further as she walked wondering whether she would reach her destination and assignation before Phoebus’ chariot had passed beyond her view but even if she did not her path was clear because she was accustomed to walking in the direction of the Evening Star every evening that she had free from her avocation of breeder of large and hairy dogs that bore a faint resemblance to The Hound of The Baskervilles and at times she would take one of the so-called breed with her on her perambulation which would certainly deter any evil minded loiterers upon her way but unfortunately also frequently prevented the consummation of her assignation by refusing to leave her side and repulsing her intended with ferocious barking and frenzied attacks barely held in check by the strong leash essential for such savage dogs but this time she was without a canine companion and therefore she hoped that the consummation would be forthcoming without let or hindrance as she continued to walk alongside the nearly dark woodlands before emerging on a slight eminence whence she could see her goal of another rose-entwined cottage from the chimney of which a wisp of smoke was arising promising warmth in both the physical, mental and sexual encounter which Joan would shortly enjoy.

"He's lit my fire" she said to herself.

Og

PS. Ignoring the last short sentence which I couldn't resist:

Words 450
Sentences 1
Reading Ease 0
Grade Level 12.0

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Harry... *automatic drool-refex*

 

[English Lady]

Ok it's confession time.......



I don't like tea...


Yes I really am English Honest!



Pops....hmm maybe me being a lady means feedback is nicer..I always get voted up for my britishness*L*

 

[Guest]

Blimey, Og!

I need to rig myself up to a ventilator now, I'm out of breath.

How do you do it? You mad Englishman?

Lou